The Confession

by Jeanette Muscella

  “Give us a minute Adam. We’ll be in shortly.”

  Margaret turned an icy stare towards her husband. “That was rude Colin. How could you do that to him?”

  “What do you want me to say? He disappeared from our lives, and now, almost twenty years later, I am supposed to shake hands and forget that he abandoned his family? I have not forgotten how long we worried about him. I have not forgotten how many nights you cried yourself to sleep. Have you forgotten what he did to that poor girl? He has a lot of explaining to do before I even consider forgiving him!”

  Sighing she said, “John left home almost twenty years ago, and I understand you are still angry. For the love of God, get over it. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves a second chance. Apparently, our son made the right choices with his life. He is a priest. Do you not have forgiveness in your heart, Colin?”

  “I don’t know if I will ever forgive him.”

  “Your attitude will destroy your relationship with our son.”

  “My relationship with John died the day he disappeared without a word.”

  “Lower your voice Colin. What happened is in the past, and it needs to remain in the past. Keep your damn mouth shut!”

  Colin followed his wife into the church and did keep his mouth shut. His wife’s icy tone took him by surprise. She rarely raised her voice in anger.

  Margaret sat proudly in the front of the church as John held his first mass. Father Brady spoke eloquently, and with great passion. Afterward, he received several invitations to Sunday dinner, all of which he graciously declined. He must keep a respectable distance from the parishioners, especially his father.

  Margaret hugged her son one last time. Whispering in his ear, she said, “Please forgive your dad’s rudeness.”

  “There is nothing to forgive Mother. I am here to serve the parishioners of this parish, including my father. I am a humble servant of Our Lord Jesus Christ.”

  Chapter 3

  Two months later

  The sound of someone knocking on his door jolted Adam from his mid-afternoon power nap. Begrudgingly, he accepted the fact he was getting old, not that forty-six is technically old. His work hours were catching up to him, and on occasion, he snuck in a power nap when needed.

  Opening his sleepy eyes to the sight of his beautiful wife always brought a smile to his face. Slowly, he rose from his chair and walked around to the front of his desk. “I can’t believe I fell asleep again,” he said as he gathered Lydia into his arms.

  “Adam, you need to cut back on the hours. When was the last time you took a day for yourself? Between work, helping your parents, Bobby’s football games, and Gail’s college move, you hardly have a free minute to yourself.”

  Sighing, he leaned against his desk. “I know. I can feel the toll it is taking on my body. I feel much older than forty-six.”

  “Are you working this weekend?”

  Reaching behind him, he checked his calendar. “Huh, looks like I am free this weekend. What do you have in mind? I can hear the wheels churning in that beautiful little head of yours.”

  Rubbing herself against him, she said, “Why don’t we spend the weekend at the shore house. We can leave Friday night and have two days of sun and relaxation.”

  “I have a better idea. I want to spend the weekend in bed making love and eating junk food. It feels like forever since I made love to you Lydia. I am sorry. I have been so distracted the last few months.”

  “It’s not your fault honey. The children and I understand that sometimes your patients are your priority. Bobby was so excited you were able to attend some of his games this season.”

  “Has he talked to you about college applications? I don’t want him so wrapped up in football that he brushes off college.” At seventeen, Robert Brady was well over six feet tall and weighed close to two hundred pounds of lean muscle. Football was his passion; however, Adam wanted his son to concentrate on his studies.

  Lydia had a surprise for her husband. “Bobby wanted to keep this a secret. A scout from Temple approached him after his last game. If he continues his level of play through his senior year, they want to offer him a full scholarship.”

  “I’m not happy about him playing college football. He has already had a few injuries this season. Is he considering a professional career playing football?” It upset Adam that his son did not speak to him about this. Once again, absentee father syndrome reared its ugly head.

  “I don’t know. Maybe you should speak to him.”

  Nodding, Adam said, “Damn right I’ll talk to him!”

  Later that evening, Adam knocked on his son’s bedroom door. “Bobby, are you awake?”

  “Yeah Dad, come in.”

  I hate football, Adam thought as he sat next to his son. “I know I haven’t been around much lately, and I wanted to catch up on what has been happening with you these last few months. Your mom spoke to me about Temple. Do you really wish to play college football?”

  Should he tell his father the truth? “Well,” he paused for a few seconds, “Yeah, I eventually want to play professional football. My coaches tell me I have what it takes to go professional. I need the scholarship from Temple Dad. I know this is not what you want for me, but it is what I want. I can still obtain my degree, and when I graduate, if I’m not good enough to play professional ball, I’ll have my degree.”

  “Have you given any thought to what would be your major?”

  “Yes. I have always loved building things so my major will be Architecture. Do you remember when you bought me that enormous box of Lego’s? I had a blast building a replica of the Golden Gate Bridge, and the White House.”

  Smiling, Adam hugged his son. “That makes me happy. Education is essential Bobby. You have a short career span playing professional football. I would prefer you focus on your studies.”

  “I know you hate my playing football. College tuition is too expensive, and you are already paying for Gail’s tuition. I don’t want to burden you financially, and if I can get a full scholarship for four years, that would save you a considerable amount of money. I will make you a deal. If I make the grade and get the scholarship, I will not live on campus. You will see me often enough to know I am ok. Do we have a deal?”

  Damn it, he is playing me. “I’ll agree on two conditions. You must maintain your GPA, and take care of your body. You have a long life ahead of you, and your physical health is important.”

  Bobby reached out to shake his father’s hand. “I accept your conditions. Just know that I am a damn good ballplayer, and when I turn pro, I can take care of you and mom in your old age.”

  Laughing, Adam said, “I’ll remember that when I’m sixty.” He was still smiling when he left his son’s room.

  The sound of Lydia singing off key in the shower assaulted his senses when he closed their bedroom door. He loved his wife; however, her singing sent stray cats running for their lives. He quietly walked into the bathroom and divested himself of every piece of clothing. Most nights he found his wife asleep upon his arriving home, and it was rare they were both awake at the same time.

  He knew his absence bothered her, and he knew she understood why he worked so many hours. Being a pediatric doctor in a large metropolitan hospital has its drawbacks. Several times a week, Adam found himself in the emergency room surrounded by sick children. So many parents did not have adequate health insurance and used the hospital’s emergency services as a substitute for preventive health care. The past few months were especially tiresome, and he looked forward to a relaxing weekend.

  Lydia heard the shower door open and turned to face her husband. She immediately looked down to his straining erection. “Do my eyes deceive me? When was the last time we had shower sex?”

  “Why are you teasing me? I don’t remember the last time I’ve had an erection.” Closing the distance between them, he said, “If I don’t come soon, I will lose my mind. Wrap your legs around me baby.”

  Adam lifted her effortlessly
and her legs went around his hips. “I’ve missed this Adam. I have missed talking to you before falling asleep. I know it is not your fault, but I wish you would cut back on the hours. We need time alone, and the children miss their father.”

  “Let’s not talk about this now. What I want is to make love to my beautiful wife.” To emphasize the point, he entered her with one swift thrust of the hips. “After all these years, you still feel like heaven to me Lydia. God, I love you so much.”

  Reaching between them, Adam flicked his thumb across her sensitive clit. He felt her muscles clench around his cock, which only intensified the pleasure. “Do that again honey, I’m so close.” With the warm water flowing around them, Adam arched his back as he felt the sudden rush of semen shoot out from the tip of his cock. “Wow, sorry honey that was quick. I can do better next time.”

  Laughing, she kissed him again. “I’m going to hold you to that promise.”

  Later that evening, as they lay holding each other, Adam relayed his conversation with Bobby. “I still don’t feel comfortable with him playing college football, but I have to step back a little and let him spread his wings while still living under our roof. That way, we can keep an eye on him.”

  “Our kids are growing up too fast. Bobby already told me he wants the garage apartment once Gail leaves for college. She can have his room when she comes home to visit.”

  Adam laughed. “That boy is shrewd. I never thought he would confiscate Gail’s little apartment. As long as she’s ok with him moving in, I don’t see a problem.”

  Reaching down to stroke him again, Lydia whispered in his ear, “Do you realize we will finally have the house all to ourselves. We can walk around naked, and make love in every room of the house. I seem to remember a few hot sessions on the kitchen table. Maybe we could do that again.”

  Groaning, Adam said, “Only if it doesn’t break my back. We are no longer limber twenty-something kids with raging hormones. But, I’m willing to see if I still have what it takes to make you scream.”

  “Oh, you still have what it takes. If you want to practice, I’m wet and willing.” Laughing, she said, “We had an endless amount of energy and a healthy sex life. We had sex all over our little apartment. I have fond memories of that ratty old sofa. I do believe we conceived Gail on that couch.”

  “I was so ambitious. I neglected you, and for that, I am sorry. I wanted to give you the world. I wanted to give our children a secure future.” Adam stopped talking as painful memories resurfaced. Lydia felt him tense against her body.

  “What’s wrong Adam? I felt your entire body tense against mine.”

  “I’m sorry. I was thinking about John. I know it pissed him off when you started dating me. We had a few shoving matches, and I told him to back the fuck off. He said he loved you, and I was the reason you ended the relationship. I told him he needed to accept this and find someone else to love. I never felt comfortable having him hang around you when I was working.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “Right after we came back from our honeymoon. I went over to my parent’s house because we brought back a few gifts for them from Jamaica. John was sitting at the kitchen table nursing a hangover and being a dick as usual. I swear Lydia, the look on his face was so ugly. He hated me and let me know it at every opportunity. I told him that if he couldn’t be civil to us, then I wanted him to stay away from you.”

  Lydia remembered more than a few conversations with John. “I told John many times I could not return his feelings for me. He knew I loved you, and nothing would change my love for you. I thought he had accepted this long before our wedding.”

  “I thought so too. Do you know what he said to me? He told me that I don’t deserve you and once you realized you made a mistake marrying me, you would go back to him.” Adam gritted his teeth at the memory.

  Shocked and saddened, Lydia held onto him tightly. “I don’t understand why he hated you so much.”

  “Neither do I honey, but I will admit I was glad when he left home. I was reaching the end of my rope with his attitude. I find it strange there are no pictures of him anywhere in my parent’s house. It feels like he was disowned or something. I always wondered what happened to him.”

  “Well, now we know what happened to him. I still cannot believe it. It felt weird standing outside the church. I cannot picture John as a priest. He was so arrogant and hotheaded. Do you think we should visit him? Mom said he has not spoken to her since that first meeting.”

  “No. If he wants to reconnect with his family, he needs to make the first move.”

  Chapter 4

  “Ok kids, listen to granny and gramps. Mom and I will be at the shore house until Sunday afternoon. We will be home before you are asleep.”

  Turning to face his mother, Adam kissed her cheek. “Thanks Mom for sitting with the kids this weekend. Lydia and I desperately needed a weekend to ourselves.”

  Margaret patted his cheek. “You look tired sweetie. Have fun and do not worry about anything. Daddy and I will take care of the kids. We already have an itinerary of events planned for the weekend. Tomorrow, Dad is taking Bobby to the Aquarium, and I am taking Gail to the Zoo. We will meet for lunch and then see a movie. Sunday, we are having a cookout with some of their friends. Don’t worry, we’ll have fun.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I love the two of you.”

  “That’s nice to hear sweetheart, we love you too. Now, get out of here before you hit rush hour traffic.”

  Like two little kids going on an adventure, Adam and Lydia ran out of the house laughing and holding hands. “I feel guilty,” Lydia said as they hit the Atlantic City Expressway. “I already miss the kids. I don’t t know what I will do when Gail goes to college. If you think I was emotional at the graduation, wait until the end of August. I might need Valium to keep me calm. Gail hates it when I cry. Did you see the eye roll at the graduation party?”

  “She told me more than once that while she desperately loves both her parents, it’s time to cut the umbilical cord. I have to agree with her honey. Gail is mature beyond her eighteen years. Although, I will admit I felt a tear or two as I watched her accept her diploma. I will feel the impact of her leaving when I see her car driving away from the house. She will always be our little girl.”

  Closing her eyes, Lydia fought the urge to cry. She sniffled a few times and Adam quickly glanced over to look at her. “Don’t cry honey. We are good parents, and it is time to let our little birds fly free and experience life. Come on now, cheer up, and enjoy the weekend. Mommy and Daddy are finally alone for forty-eight hours. Let’s enjoy it.”

  They drove in blissful silence all the way to Cape May. Upon arriving, they sat in the car for several minutes, just looking at the house. Lydia turned to her husband and said, “We have to schedule a vacation before the end of the summer with the kids. One last summer with the entire family before Gail leaves.”

  “That would be nice. I’ll schedule an entire week off at the end of August.”

  When they reached the front door, Adam lifted his wife into his arms. “What are you doing? Put me down!”

  “Hell no little lady, I am taking you right up to the bedroom. My balls are aching, and I only know of one way to make it better.”

  “You have such a dirty mouth, but I like it. I think you need a complete physical. Let nurse Lydia make it all better.” Later that evening sated and content, Adam held his wife close to his warm body. “Nurse Lydia deserves a raise.”

  “My services are not cheap, Dr. Brady. This one is free of charge.”

  “We needed this weekend,” Adam said with a contented sigh. “Can you believe we are about to celebrate our twentieth wedding anniversary? Where did the time go? It feels like yesterday we were pushing strollers, and now our children are happy and healthy young adults.”

  Lydia remembered those first few years, and for her, they were happy memories. “You and the children are my lifelines to this earth. If I lost any of you, it would destr
oy me. I love you, Adam, with every fiber of my being. I wish you would slow down and enjoy life more than you do now.”

  “I work hard to make a better life for my family. My parents worked their entire adult life to make sure we had everything we needed. Dad made sacrifices for us. I remember him stuffing newspaper into his shoes when the soles wore out. Rather than buy new shoes, we had Birthday or Christmas gifts. I’ll never forget his sacrifices, and it makes me happy helping my parents now.”

  “I never understood how John could turn his back on the entire family. One day he was there, and the next, he was gone. I asked Dad several times what happened. Lydia, you should have seen the look on his face. I have never seen my father so angry, and we all know he has a short fuse.”

  “Whatever happened, it was John’s decision to avoid his family. It must be awkward for your parents having him back home.” Sighing, she said, “That’s enough talk of the past. I want to live in the present. I love you, Adam. I always will.”

  Those few words meant the world to him. Rolling onto his side, he spooned Lydia and whispered to her, “You are my heart, Lydia. I love you.”

  Wiggling her ass against his erection, she whispered, “Why don’t you show me how much you love me.” Adam spent the next few hours doing just that.

  Chapter 5

  The nightmare had returned. Her body pinned to the bed, forced to have sex against her will. The images were always the same, the outcome always the same. She could not see the face. She only felt the oppressive suffocation of his body on top of hers. Her mind screamed no, and her body felt frozen. Lydia opened her eyes and suppressed the scream that was bubbling up from her throat. It had been several years since she had this particular dream. Rolling over, she said a silent prayer of thanks that Adam was still sleeping. She quietly got out of bed and walked over to the patio doors that led out to the deck. The trees blocked the view from the street and kept the room cool at night. Every time she had the dream, it took a few hours for her to calm down. Lost in thought, she did not hear Adam’s cell phone ringing.