A soft look of wonder came over her face as she touched the amethyst pendant, then pressed her hands to her stomach. ‘I’m going to be a mother.’
‘The best mother ever.’
‘I don’t give a hoot if it’s a boy or a girl.’
‘Not at all,’ Will agreed, although he realised with something of a shock that he would love to have a son.
Happiness shone in Lucy’s eyes as she looked around her kitchen, as if she was suddenly seeing it with new eyes. She grinned at the table that she’d set for breakfast, at the dogs’ bowls on the floor near the door. ‘Oh, gosh, Will, I’m pregnant!’
He laughed, but it felt inadequate.
‘Thank you,’ she said again, and her smile was so sweet he wanted to sweep her into his arms, to hold her and kiss her and murmur endearments, all of which were completely inappropriate now that they were reverting to friendship.
Lucy’s mind, however, was on a more practical plane. She looked over at the stove. ‘I’ve probably burned the sausages.’
‘They’re OK. I turned them down low.’
‘Well done. Thanks.’ She glanced at the clock and sighed. ‘We’d better eat. I still have a day’s work ahead of me.’
‘That’s something we need to talk about,’ Will said. ‘You need to look after yourself now.’
She frowned at him, then shrugged. ‘We can talk while we eat.’
It felt strangely intimate to be having breakfast with Lucy—pottering about in the kitchen, buttering toast, finding Vegemite and marmalade.
When they were settled at the table Lucy looked at him across the seersucker tablecloth, her blue eyes wide and innocent. ‘Now, what were you saying about my work?’
‘You’re going to need some kind of support now you’re pregnant. You can’t manage such a big workload on your own.’
‘I have an assistant.’
‘But she can’t take on the tough jobs like delivering difficult calves. And she’s not qualified to operate. I don’t like the thought of you standing for long hours over difficult surgery.’
‘Are you going to get bossy already?’
‘You had a miscarriage once before,’ he reminded her gently. ‘And you’re quite a bit older now.’
‘Thanks for bringing that to my attention.’ Lucy’s mouth was tight as she spread Vegemite on her toast. ‘Isn’t it a bit hypocritical of you to be worrying about my age and personal safety?’
‘Hypocritical?’
Her eyes blazed. ‘You’re not exactly taking care of yourself.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘You’re about to become a father. You barely escaped with your life from your last job and you told me you’d learned a big lesson. But now you’re heading off to Papua New Guinea, where a mudslide wiped out an entire village last summer. And everyone knows how often planes crash in the highlands. The airstrips are the size of postage stamps and they’re perched on the edge of massive deep ravines.’
‘I’m not going to the highlands.’ Will rearranged the salt and pepper shakers like pieces on a chessboard. ‘And I’m not the one who’s pregnant. Your safety is more important than mine.’
Lucy opened her mouth as if she was going to say something more, but apparently changed her mind. She shrugged. ‘Actually, I’d already been planning to cut back on work if I became pregnant. I can use locums. I have quite a few city vet friends who love it out here.’
‘What kind of friends?’ Will felt foolish asking, but he’d been attacked by an unreasonable fit of jealousy. ‘Married couples?’
‘Chris is a bachelor,’ she said in a matter of fact tone. Her eyes were defiant as she looked at him. ‘Leanne and Tim are married. If I have time later today I’ll phone around and send out a few feelers.’
‘I think that’s wise.’
Lucy concentrated on piling tomatoes onto her fork. She looked upset and they finished their breakfast in uncomfortable silence.
Will felt upset too, but he wasn’t sure why. He and Lucy had achieved their goal and now they were moving onto the next stage of their plan. She was going to be a single mum and he was going to visit their child from time to time.
That was what he wanted, wasn’t it? Fatherhood without strings. He should have been on top of the world.
From the start he’d said that he would remain an outsider in their child’s life. The silent scream inside him didn’t make sense.
He heard the sound of a car pulling up and a door slamming.
‘That’s Jane, my assistant, ready to start work,’ Lucy said pointedly.
Will got to his feet. ‘I’d better get out of your way.’ He indicated the breakfast dishes. ‘Can I help with these?’
‘No, don’t worry.’
She walked with him to the front door and waved to her assistant, who was using a side gate to reach the surgery. ‘I’ll be there in a minute, Jane,’ she called.
‘Don’t hurry,’ Jane called back, smiling broadly when she saw Will.
Lucy looked unhappy. ‘Make sure you come and see me before you go,’ she told him.
‘Yes, of course.’
Her mouth trembled and she blinked.
He said inadequately, ‘Thanks for breakfast.’ And then he dipped his head and kissed her cheek.
Lucy mumbled something about a very busy day, gave him a brief wave and shut the door.
After Will left, her day proved to be even busier than she’d expected but, every so often as she worked, she would remember.
I’m pregnant.
Excitement fizzed inside her and she hugged herself in secret glee. She’d been waiting for this for so long. She couldn’t help thinking about all those busy little cells inside her, forming their baby.
Their baby.
Wow.
There was no time to celebrate, however. As well as her usual line-up of patients, she had to perform emergency surgery on an elderly dog and she found the work unusually stressful. She was very fond of this sweet black and white cocker spaniel. He’d been one of her first patients when she’d started working in Willowbank.
She would do what she could for him now, but she feared he was nearing the end of his days. His owner would be distraught when his time was up.
If that wasn’t enough to dampen Lucy’s spirits, she was upset about Will. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, felt utterly miserable about him going away.
Again.
How could she bear it?
The threat of his impending departure had made her snappy with him this morning and she felt bad about that, after he’d been so excited. But how could she not be upset by the thought of saying goodbye?
She loved Will.
Letting him go felt like cutting out a vital organ. Whenever she pictured him leaving, she grew angry again. How could Will pretend to be terribly concerned about her and then take off to the wilds of a New Guinea jungle?
How could he leave her so soon? So easily?
All day, her mind churned with things she wished she’d asked him, as well as things she wished she’d told him. But the crux of her message was hard to admit—their friendship plan was a farce.
It was rubbish.
Sharing responsibility for a child required a commitment that went way beyond friendship.
And she and Will had already shared a beautiful intimacy that she could never classify as friendship.
Maybe it was easier for guys to be interested in sex without actually being in love, but she’d never been brave enough to be honest with Will about her feelings, so wasn’t it possible that he’d hidden some of his feelings, too?
Should she try to find out?
It was crazy that she was still afraid to admit the truth about her feelings. She’d always been so worried that her disclosure might shock him, that she might alienate him completely. But today she felt different.
Determined.
She’d been hiding behind fear for too long. She was going to be a mother now and that required courage.
<
br /> For her baby’s sake, she should tell Will how she really felt and then face the consequences bravely.
Her confession might not make any difference. There was a chance it could make everything worse but, as the day wore on, Lucy became surer and surer that it was time to take the risk she’d shied away from for too long.
At lunch time Gina popped her head around the surgery door, her dark eyes brimming with curiosity. ‘Mum’s minding the twins while I do my shopping, so I thought I’d duck in quickly to see how you’re going.’
‘You must have a sixth sense about these things,’ Lucy said, smiling.
Gina’s eyes widened.
‘Come and have a cuppa.’ Lucy took her through to the kitchen.
‘Do you have some news?’ Gina asked as soon as the door that linked back to Lucy’s office was firmly shut.
‘I only found out this morning.’
‘That you’re pregnant?’
Lucy couldn’t hold back her grin. ‘Yes.’
Gina squealed and knocked over a kitchen chair in her rush to hug her friend. ‘Oh, Lucy, I’m so excited for you.’
‘I know. It’s fantastic, isn’t it? I have to keep pinching myself.’
‘Our babies are going to be cousins,’ Gina gushed.
Lucy smiled again, but this time there wasn’t much joy behind it.
‘I’m assuming that Will is the father,’ Gina said less certainly.
‘Yes, he is, and he knows about the baby. But I haven’t told anyone else yet, so keep it under your hat.’
‘Of course.’
The kettle came to the boil and Lucy was aware of Gina’s thoughtful gaze as she poured hot water over the teabags.
‘So how are things between you and Will?’ she cautiously asked as Lucy handed her a mug.
‘Hunky-dory.’
‘Oh. That doesn’t sound too promising.’ Gina took a sip of tea. ‘I suppose Will hasn’t admitted that he loves you.’
Lucy felt the colour rush from her face. ‘Don’t talk nonsense, Gina. He doesn’t love me.’
‘Do you really believe that?’
‘Yes. He can’t love me. If he did, he wouldn’t be taking off for PNG.’
Gina sighed. ‘Is he really going away again?’
‘Yes.’
‘Sometimes I could wring his neck.’
‘He’s the man he is,’ Lucy said, surprised that she could sound philosophical about a sad fact that was breaking her heart. ‘Everyone in Willowbank knows Will doesn’t belong here.’
‘I’m not so sure about that, actually. But, anyway, he could always take you with him when he goes away.’
‘I can’t take off for some remote mining site when I’m pregnant. I certainly couldn’t live there with a tiny baby.’
‘Well…no. I don’t suppose you could.’ Gina gritted her teeth. ‘So, do you need me to wring my brother’s neck or try to hammer some sense into him?’
‘No,’ said Lucy, crossing her fingers behind her back. ‘Leave it to me.’
By mid-afternoon the pace in the surgery wasn’t quite so hectic and Lucy sent her father a text message:
Are you busy? Can I phone you?
The two of them had always been good mates and she wanted him to know her news.
Almost immediately, he called her back. ‘Darling, I have five minutes. What can I do for you?’
‘I just wanted to share some good news, Dad. I’m pregnant.’
She waited for his shocked gasp, but he surprised her. ‘That’s wonderful news. Congratulations.’
‘Really, Dad? You don’t mind?’
‘Do you mind, Lucy?’
‘No. I’m actually very, very happy.’
‘Then so am I. I’m delighted. Couldn’t be happier.’
Lucy was amazed that he didn’t immediately bombard her with predictable questions about the baby’s father, or when she was planning to be married.
Her dad simply asked, ‘Are you keeping well?’
She grinned. First and last, Alistair McKenty was a doctor. ‘It’s very early days, but I’m feeling fine. I have good vibes about this pregnancy.’
‘You’ll see Ken Harper?’
‘Yes, Dad.’ Ken Harper was Willowbank Hospital’s only obstetrician. ‘And, as you know, Ken will give me top antenatal care.’
She heard a chuckle on the other end of the line and she waited for more questions. When there was silence, she said, ‘In case you were wondering, Will Carruthers is the baby’s father.’
‘Ah.’
‘Ah? What does that mean?’
‘I noticed that Will’s been home for rather longer than usual.’
Heat suffused Lucy. ‘Is that all you can say?’
‘No. I’m actually very pleased. I like Will. I always expected you two to get together.’
‘You did?’
‘You used to be such terrific friends, but then you took up with that older brother.’
‘Yes.’
‘I never understood that, Lucy. Josh Carruthers had girlfriends all over the district.’
‘Dad, I don’t really want to go back over that now.’
‘I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s all in the past.’
‘Actually, there is one thing about that time I’ve been meaning to ask you.’
‘What’s that, dear?’
‘Why didn’t you tell me that Will telephoned and tried to visit me after Josh died?’
A sigh shuddered down the phone line. ‘You were so distressed, Lucy, and I was upset too. Your mother wasn’t around to advise, and I suppose I went into over-protective mode.’
‘But Will was my friend.’
‘I know, dear. I’m sorry, but I did what I thought was right. Mattie was there almost every day, and she was a huge help. And, to be honest, Will wasn’t his normal self at the time. He was acting quite strangely. Extremely tense. Distraught, actually. I didn’t see how he could do you any good.’
Lucy pressed two fingers to the bridge of her nose to hold back the threat of tears. She knew there was no point in getting upset about this. It wasn’t her father’s fault that Will had taken off again, without leaving her any hint that he’d wanted to keep in touch.
It wasn’t her father’s fault that her own feelings of guilt had driven her to silence, adding more strain to an already tense friendship.
‘Well, things are still complicated between Will and me,’ she admitted.
‘Is he planning to continue working overseas?’
‘Yes.’
‘How do you feel about that?’
‘OK.’ Lucy forced a smile into her voice. ‘It’s what we planned.’
‘So this baby was planned?’
‘Yes. Will and I decided we’d like to have a baby together, but we’ll just remain friends.’
There was a significant pause. ‘Are you really happy with that arrangement, Lucy?’
She couldn’t give a direct answer. ‘Dad, I knew what Will was like when we started talking about this.’
There was another sigh on the other end of the line. Another pause. ‘My big concern is that you must look after yourself.’
‘I will, Dad. I promise.’
‘I’m afraid I have to go now. Come and see me soon. Come for dinner.’
‘I will. Thanks. Love you, Dad.’
Lucy was about to disconnect when her father spoke again. ‘Lucy.’
The tone of his voice made her grip the phone more tightly. ‘Yes?’
‘I’ve always thought that if two very good friends fall in love, they should grab their good luck with both hands.’
Lucy couldn’t think of anything to say.
‘It’s the greatest happiness this life can offer,’ her father said.
And then he hung up.
CHAPTER TEN
IT HAD been a long hot day and a summer storm broke late in the afternoon. By the time Lucy closed up the surgery, it was raining and thunder rumbled in the distance.
It was still r
aining heavily half an hour later when she set out for Tambaroora. She was nervous, but she was determined to see Will this evening before she chickened out again.
It wasn’t yet six but the sky was already dark and her windscreen wipers had to work overtime. The winding, unsealed country roads had quickly turned to slippery mud so, despite her impatience, she had to drive very slowly and carefully.
She could see wet sheep clustered beneath the inadequate shelter of skinny gum trees. Thunder rolled all around the valley and white flashes of sheet lightning lit the entire sky. She was relieved when she finally saw the lights of Tambaroora homestead.
As soon as she pulled up at the bottom of the front steps she made a dash for the veranda.
Will’s mother, wearing an apron, greeted Lucy warmly and she could smell the tempting aroma of dinner cooking. ‘You were brave to come out in this terrible storm,’ she said.
‘I know it’s not a good time to be calling, but I was hoping to see Will.’
Jessie Carruthers smiled. ‘He’s told us your news.’
‘Are you pleased?’ Lucy asked.
‘Very,’ Jessie said. ‘Especially when Will told us that you were so happy about it.’
Lucy held her breath, wondering if Jessie would make a reference to her previous pregnancy with her elder son. But she said simply, ‘Will and his father have spent the whole afternoon out in the shed, working on the tractor.’ She smiled. ‘You know what boys are like with their toys.’
‘You must be pleased that Will’s taking an interest.’
‘Well, yes, I am, actually, and he’s still at it. Robert came back a few minutes ago and he’s in the shower. But Will’s still out there, tinkering away.’
‘I’ll drive over and see if I can find him.’
‘All right, love.’ Jessie gave a wistful sigh. ‘I suppose you’re as disappointed as I am that Will’s going away again so soon.’
‘Well…I’m not surprised.’
‘You might be able to talk him out of it, Lucy.’
Lucy stared at Will’s mother, surprised. ‘I could try, I guess. But I’m afraid it might be like trying to persuade a leopard to change his spots.’
Jessie frowned. ‘I don’t understand young people these days.’
‘I’m not sure that we understand ourselves,’ Lucy admitted.
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