by Robin Cain
Minutes later, Sadie heard the front door slam and Vivian’s car peel out of the driveway. It took awhile for Sadie to find the courage to get up from the floor and unlock the bathroom door but, when she did, she found that Vivian’s car and the things in her room were all gone. Walking around the house, she found that nothing else appeared to have been disturbed.
Sadie’s hands trembled as she picked up the phone to call Frank. She knew Vivian’s firing wouldn’t likely come as a surprise to him, but she couldn’t share all parts of the story. Would firing Vivian just for her peeking at a calendar make any sense to him?
Sadie tried to sort out the details as the impatient dial tone waited for direction. The threats, the bit about how Vivian was there to “watch her”—none of it made any sense. How, Sadie wondered, had this lunatic gotten into their lives?
Sadie eventually decided that Vivian had simply meant to scare her and it had all just been a maniacal rant by a fanatical woman. She decided to keep the ugliest particulars to herself when relaying the story to Frank, not wanting him to get all worked up over nothing. Sadie made up her mind the best thing to do would be to call an agency, arrange for a replacement, send Vivian her last check, and be done with it. Frank wouldn’t have to know anything more.
A couple miles down the street, Vivian placed a call on her cell phone, waiting as the phone rang eight times until Janie finally picked up.
“What are you doing, calling me now while I’m at work?” Janie asked, without saying hello.
“I was just fired and I thought you’d better know.”
“What the hell happened? What did you do?” Janie was trying to keep her voice down, but it was difficult having now heard this news.
“The bitch fired me. I overheard a phone call between her and her lover...” The words seemed to trail off for effect.
“What?!?”
“Her lover. She’s been having an affair with some guy at Frank’s home in Washington. Yep, you heard me right. Been going on for a long time, I gather. And the best part—are you ready for this?”
Janie had always known Sadie was no good for her Frank and she’d never forgiven herself for introducing the two of them. She should have gotten more credit for his finding the perfect building but, no, Sadie had gotten it all. That greedy bitch had basked in the glory and she had also somehow convinced Frank to marry her. That, as far as she was concerned, was just simply unacceptable. Sadie had to be watched. Frank had to be protected from her greed. Janie would make certain that Frank never got hurt.
When Frank had his accident, Janie saw the perfect opportunity to get someone on the inside—someone she trusted. Now, with Vivian being fired, Janie realized she would never be able to watch out for Frank.
“Are you going to tell me or what?” Vivian’s flare for the dramatic made her impatient as hell.
“Sadie is pregnant!”
Janie felt her legs give way. She grabbed for the nearest surface, trying to steady herself. The flowers. Frank’s note. It all made sense now. But whose baby was it?
“She took a pregnancy test this morning and it came back positive. She’s going to have her lover’s baby. Can you even believe it?” Janie didn’t say anything, so Vivian asked, “Hey, did you hear me? Sadie is pregnant.”
“Y-yes, I heard. I have to go now. I’ll call you later.”
“Well, you have to get Frank to find out about this. You know that, right?”
“I’ll take care of it,” Janie said and quickly hung up. She threw the phone down and swore out loud.
Well, I’m just going to have to make sure this goes the way I need it to...
twenty-one
TYLER STILL hadn’t come to terms with it himself for what he’d done to Sam. Though he had apologized right away and tried to explain his actions, he knew he had simply taken her in a fit of misdirected rage and anger. Short of telling Sam she had nothing whatsoever to do with his behavior, Tyler just tried to convince her that, after having waited so long, he had just wanted and needed her. Sam meekly told him she understood and it was okay, but Tyler wasn’t convinced she meant it. Angry at himself, Tyler wound up just shutting down, unable to talk about it anymore. He became uncommunicative and Sam had finally just walked out. Watching her leave, unsure of where it left them, he’d walked up to the corner market and bought himself a bottle of Jack Daniels once she was out of sight.
Drown my sorrows in the comforting arms of an old friend, he’d told himself. Everything else had failed; surely the whiskey would work. Knowing he’d never be able to move on until he got Sadie out of his heart, Tyler drank in an effort to flush the memories from his system. Hours later, with more than half the bottle gone and still thinking of Sadie, Tyler had finally just passed out.
When Tyler woke up the next day, he couldn’t bring himself to call Sam. Sicker than a dog and laden with regret, he wasn’t sure what he’d say to her anyway, ashamed for what he’d done to her and to himself. It was days later before he finally got the courage to call and hearing the hurt in her voice, he knew he should have called sooner. He could tell she was starting to really care for him and that made him feel worse. She was a nice kid, but it wasn’t going to amount to anything on his part. Tyler had known that the instant he had tried to tell Sam about Sadie and she’d said the things she had. Whoever replaced Sadie, he told himself, had to understand about Sadie. He knew that in his heart.
Sam’s growing affection for Tyler must have allowed her to forgive him that day because they went out together a couple times that next week—meeting for dinner later in the week, a movie over the weekend and falling asleep together one night watching TV at his place. But he never once made a move to touch her beyond a kiss or hug, knowing he couldn’t get close to that edge again until he knew he was ready to handle it. Seemingly content to be in his company, Sam didn’t push for anything more. Things went along smoothly after that.
It had now been a month or more since the incident and Tyler hadn’t expected to see Sam tonight. She should have been work. She showed up out of the blue, saying she had something they needed to talk about, and they had just made themselves comfortable on Tyler’s sofa when his cell phone rang. He didn’t bother to look at caller ID. When he answered, he heard Sadie say hello.
“Well, hello,” he replied, stunned at the sound of her voice after so long. Sam was sitting just across from him and instantly picked up on the change in his voice.
“Hey, Tyler. How are you?” Sadie asked.
“Uh... good. Good.” Tyler’s mind raced, trying to figure out a way to deal with the phone call in Sam’s presence. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to check up on you. You were drunk when you called me last and, though I have tried to mind my own business, I can’t. I’m worried about you.”
Sam was now clearly annoyed. Tyler walked, phone at his ear, into the other room.
“You’re just now worrying about me?”
“That’s not what I meant. I’m just calling to see how you are and make sure you’re not still drinking.”
He refused to let Sadie get any more of his heart. “Yeah, thanks I’m fine. I’d just had a bad day and got drunk. No big deal.” He barely had recollection of any call, so he didn’t know what to say to her now. Dialing drunk was never a good idea. “I’ve never been a very good drunk. I’m sorry, Sadie.”
As soon as the words left his mouth he realized Sam was within earshot. He turned to see her standing in the doorway. The look on her face said she had heard every word.
“Every time I called you back after that, you didn’t answer,” Sadie said. “I tried for a couple days but you still didn’t pick up. I sent you an e-mail, but it came back with delivery errors.”
Tyler remembered seeing Sadie’s name on calls he’d missed but, not wanting to wake the sleeping bear, he had ignored them. “Uh yeah, I have a different e-mail now.” He felt Sam’s eyes burning a hole through the back of his head.
“Well, I just wanted to check
on you and make sure you were okay. Falling off the wagon is a pretty serious thing. I know it’s silly of me to try from this distance, but it’s been bothering me. There has been so much going on in my life lately that I kind of lost track of you. You sure everything is alright? You sounded pretty messed up.”
“Yes, everything is okay now. Sorry for the worry.”
“No need to be sorry, Tyler. I understand. I have my moments too.”
“Do you?” After all this time, he still felt better knowing she still thought of him.
“Of course. You know that.”
“Thanks, Sadie. That’s still good to hear. Everything okay with you?”
“Oh Tyler, I’ve had better moments,” she sighed. “Ever since Frank got home, it’s been so difficult...”
“What’s the matter?”
“Oh Tyler, it’s a long story. I had to fire Frank’s assistant. She overheard our last phone call and...” she said, her voice cracking at the end. “She threatened me.”
“Threatened you as in violence or threatened to tell Frank?”
“Well, both, I guess. She said something crazy about being here to watch me or something. I think she was just nuts and trying to scare me, but I keep getting this feeling like she’s still there haunting me.”
“How did she overhear our conversation?” Tyler saw Sam’s anger-filled eyes glaring at him and turned his back to her.
“She was listening on the other end. It just makes me uneasy.”
“Do you think she said anything to Frank?”
“No, he doesn’t act like he knows about anything and I didn’t tell him what Vivian said to me. I guess it’s just all in my imagination. Explaining it all to you now, I see how foolish it all must sound. I guess I just wanted to see if everything was okay with you. I need some sanity in my life.”
Tyler couldn’t do anything and certainly wasn’t in any position to try. With Sam just a few feet away fuming over his discussion with Sadie, he thought it best to stop while he was ahead.
“Well, I’m fine, but it sounds like you need to be careful, though,” he told her. “Was there anything else you needed?”
“No, not really.”
“Thanks for checking on me then.” There were so many more things Tyler wanted to tell her, things he wanted to say, but he knew the time had passed. “Goodbye then, Sadie.”
“Goodbye, Tyler.” Hesitating briefly, she added, “I love you.”
“Me too.”
Tyler closed his eyes, warmed from the familiar tranquility of Sadie’s words. But Sam was right in his face before he’d even set the phone down.
“You’ve started drinking?”
“You shouldn’t eavesdrop on other people’s calls,” he told her, irritated with the accusatory tone and angry at himself for being in the situation.
“Were you ever going to tell me about it?”
“It’s no big deal. I went out and had a few drinks.”
“And then you felt it necessary to call your old girlfriend?” Disdain registered in Sam’s words.
“I guess. I don’t remember,” Tyler said and shrugged.
“So you weren’t just drunk; you were comatose!”
“Yeah, I was pretty sick the next day.” Tyler hadn’t intended to snicker, but he did.
“Good! Serves you right, you stupid bastard! Sounds like your little Sadie was right there, though, to help you out with all of your troubles,” Sam yelled at him, beginning to cry.
“Sam, come on. I’m sorry. I’m not drinking all the time.”
“Yet.”
“Hey, this isn’t easy, okay? I fell off the wagon. Shit happens. I can’t take it back now. I’m trying to move past it.”
“I’m done with drunks, Tyler. I can’t be with you if you’re going to drink. I won’t let another person to do that to me. I’ve faced those demons before.”
“Sam, I said I was sorry and it won’t happen again.” The devil was beginning to tap on Tyler’s shoulder even as he spoke the words.
“Promise me then. Promise me that your mother should die of stomach cancer should you take another drink.” They’d both heard the line in a movie once and, at the time, had remarked on its demand for a pretty ironclad promise.
“My mother is dead, Sam,” Tyler flatly responded.
“Well, okay, let’s pick someone else who obviously means the world to you,” she sarcastically told him. “Then tell me Sadie should die of stomach cancer if you take another drink!” Her words, intended as a slap in the face, hit him hard.
“Damn it, Sam! Do me a favor and don’t bring her name up anymore, would ya? You obviously don’t understand and will never understand that part of my life. Don’t try to use Sadie as a weapon against me. It won’t work,” he yelled and stormed into the other room.
“How about a child then, Tyler? Would being a father get you to stop drinking?”
It only took a moment for him to come back into the room and face her.
“What did you say?” Anger had reddened his face, but he was trying to stay calm at least until he was certain of what he’d heard.
“I asked if being a father would stop your drinking, but I guess I know the answer to that after tonight. Seems like the only thing that would get you to stop is your beloved Sadie and she’s not here, is she?” Her words cut like a knife, severing what little semblance of cool he had left. He violently punched the wall just inches from where she stood, his fist stopping only when it had blown through the drywall and hit frame. His animal-like cry covered up the sound of Sam’s yelp as she dodged to get out of his way.
“Get the hell away from me,” Sam yelled. “You lay one finger on me and I’ll call the police.” She ran from him toward the bedroom. He didn’t follow.
When she heard the back door slam, she chased him, yelling as he backed his truck out the driveway. “Tyler, wait! Don’t leave! We have to talk.”
Tyler never even slowed down.
Unable to face the reality of what he’d just heard, he left Sam standing in the driveway. He threw his truck into drive and sped off down the road. The insidious tapping on his brain was back.
You need a drink.
Tyler tried to shake it off.
Come on, you can control it. Just one. Think how much better it’ll make you feel.
No, he screamed to the demons that whispered to him. No!
Why not? What difference will it make now?
He focused on the road ahead, willing himself to think of something else.
One won’t matter...
Tyler saw the neon sign up ahead.
See... it’s right here, close to home. You can have one. Then you can go back and face her. She’ll never know.
It was as if he’d lost control of the wheel. The truck steered itself into the parking lot.
Yeah, what the hell. You deserve it.
Tyler jumped out of his truck, slammed the door and walked into the bar.
Back at the house, Sam didn’t have a way to get home now that Tyler had left. She waited awhile for him to cool off and come back, but she didn’t know how much longer he’d make her wait. She didn’t want to just sit there like an idiot. He was the one who had stormed off and he was the one who was drinking again. She decided to go home.
Too far of a walk in the dark and no bus to catch to get her home, Sam called for a taxi.
She rustled through the bowl on the table by Tyler’s front door while she waited for her ride. Emptying the contents of his pockets into this bowl each night, Tyler had wads of crumpled up bills, coins and whatever else he carried on any given day. Locating two crumpled twenties, Sam spotted Tyler’s spare house key in the pile. She picked it up, unconsciously turning it over and over in her hand. When the taxi’s headlights beamed onto the front of the house announcing its arrival, Sam hurriedly stuffed the key and Tyler’s money into the front pocket of her jeans, believing what she was doing was completely justified.
A few miles away, Tyler sat on a bars
tool in the front. It was a busy Friday night and all the other seats at the bar were filled. A single glass of whiskey in front of him, Tyler had been staring at it for the last twenty minutes. An old man with silver hair and bloodshot eyes sat next to him, looking as if he had spent many a night there. He gestured to Tyler’s untouched glass and laughed.
“Hey buddy, you just gonna look at it or drink it?”
Tyler turned his head to the old man and said, “Yeah, I’m sure I will. Eventually.”
The old man lifted his glass and downed his own whiskey in one big gulp. “Come on, son, I’ll buy you another one.”
Tyler saw the old man wink and tried futilely to call upon old reason.
Ah... what the hell.
Tyler lifted his glass and threw the contents back in the same practiced big gulp, coughing as the liquid burned going down his throat. The old man, exposing a near toothless grin, threw back his head and let out a big old belly laugh.
“The next one is always easier,” he told Tyler, patting him on the back and gesturing to the bartender for another round.
Tyler talked to the old man for hours, musing over better days and punctuating each of his memories with a shot of whiskey and melancholy. They drank together until the bar finally closed at midnight and Tyler got up to leave, barely coherent and barely able to drive the few blocks home. The old man, grabbing a well-worn, blood red cap from the hat rack at the end of the bar, quietly followed Tyler out.
“Hey young man, see you next time,” he said with unquestionable certainty. He courteously tipped his cap and disappeared slowly into the dark shadows of the now empty street.
Tyler jumped in his truck and sat there for a minute, trying to clear his head. He only had to go a few blocks. If he could just stop everything from spinning, he knew he’d be fine. He closed one eye and found he could focus better. He reopened his eyes and everything doubled. Nope, it was definitely going to be a one-eyeball drive home. He turned the key in the ignition and started up his truck.