The Doctor's Christmas Proposal

by Laura Iding

  Jessica closed her eyes, as if the brief exchange had exhausted her. He felt just as emotionally spent. He turned to leave and found Dana standing there, giving him an odd look.

  “Was that so difficult?” she asked, as if sensing his tension.

  “Difficult enough.” He brushed past her, intent on taking a quick break. He needed to find the old familiar physician-patient distance he so desperately needed.

  Downstairs, the cafeteria was empty. Most of the second shift staff had already eaten. All the signs of the children’s Christmas party had been cleaned away.

  He sat at a table alone, staring down at his coffee. Jessica’s kids, Wendy and Chad, didn’t have a father. He was a father who’d lost his son. Gwen, his ex-wife, had remarried and was already expecting a child. He didn’t begrudge her finding happiness, although he couldn’t believe Gwen was willing to go through the risk of having another child.

  Christmas tunes blared from the overhead speaker. He tried to ignore them.

  No one ever promised life would be fair but knowing that fact didn’t make him feel any better.

  Dana was the last to finish her work from her shift, and everyone else had already left by the time she punched out. Although her feet were killing her, she wasn’t quite ready to go home. And since things had quietened down in the unit, she decided now would be a good time to pull out the box of Christmas decorations.

  She hummed “Jingle Bell” under her breath as she set up the small Christmas tree behind the unit clerk’s desk. Hanging the small ornaments on the tree didn’t take long and soon she headed into the staff lounge area to set up the second Christmas tree. This one was taller, so she had to stand on a chair to fix the branches along the top.

  “Dana?” A deep voice called her name from the doorway.

  “Yes?” Teetering on the chair, she turned. “Mitch! What on earth are you still doing here?”

  He looked a little rough around the edges, his jaw shadowed and his eyes bloodshot as if he’d done an all-nighter. The hour was close to midnight and she’d thought he’d gone home long ago. “What are you doing?”

  She raised a brow. “Hanging Christmas decorations. Would you like to help?”

  There was a long silence, and she had to admit his lack of enthusiasm caught her off guard. Finally he said, “No, but I did want to thank you.”

  For what? She thought back over the shift. Nothing stood out, other than the few times she’d forgotten he was the intensivist and had ordered him around. For some reason, it was hard not to think of him as a resident. Maybe because he didn’t carry the same level of arrogance as some of the other intensivists. “There’s nothing to thank me for. I was only doing my job.”

  “I didn’t realize your institution hadn’t upgraded to bi-phasic defibs. I’m thankful you were there to tell me.” He paused, then added, “Bi-phasic technology has been out for several years. There’s no reason we shouldn’t have up-to-date equipment.”

  “I agree.” Dana placed another ornament on the tree. “The hospital went through some difficult financial times a few years ago when the technology came out. Things seem better now. I hope Administration listens to you.”

  “Anything else I need to know about?” Mitch asked, stepping closer.

  The lounge seemed to shrink as he approached. From her perch on the chair she could look directly into his eyes. She was struck again by how alone he seemed, and for a moment he reminded her of Chad, Jessica’s son.

  She bent down, drew another ornament out of the box and hung it on the tree. “Not that I can think of. The nurses here are all pretty good, they’ll help guide you if needed.”

  “Most of them are very good,” he agreed. “Although I noticed you were one of the busiest.”

  Her heart warmed at his words, although she knew his observations were skewed. “Everyone has bad days now and then. Tomorrow it could be someone else’s turn to run around like a chicken.”

  He didn’t respond, but watched her work with an odd expression on his face. Much like the pained look she’d noticed after he helped Jessica make her phone call to her kids.

  “May I ask you something?” She finished with the ornaments and jumped down from the chair.

  He nodded, his expression wary.

  “Why do you have a problem with kids being in the ICU?” Dana didn’t tap dance around the issue. Better to know now if he had issues with her lenient visiting policies, because, if so, they were going to have a tough time working together.

  “I don’t. I just didn’t think it was necessary to expose Jessica’s kids to the level of illness we have in the unit.” Mitch took a step back with his hands deep in the pockets of his lab coat, as if he was holding himself aloof from the conversation. From her.

  “Those kids know the seriousness of their mother’s illness,” she pointed out. “Keeping them out of the ICU will only make them feel as if she’s getting worse instead of better.”

  “Maybe.” Mitch shifted his weight on his feet, clearly uncomfortable with the subject matter. “Then again, maybe not. Not seeing her at her worst may help protect them. It’s a parent’s job to protect their children from harm.”

  She didn’t agree that allowing kids in the ICU was exposing them to harm, but the hour was late and she wasn’t in the mood to argue. “I think you should know I’m a big supporter of lenient visiting policies. Especially when it comes to kids.”

  There was another long, awkward pause. “I see.”

  She was struck again by how he seemed to be pulling away from her. Now that she’d finished with the first box of decorations, she decided to save the rest for later. After shoving the empty box into the corner, she picked up her stethoscope and wrapped it around her neck.

  “Goodnight, Dr. Reynolds.” She offered a small smile, fully expecting he’d take his cue and leave.

  “You called me Mitch earlier.”

  His comment surprised her. First he wanted professional distance, then he didn’t. What did he really want? She wasn’t sure if he even knew.

  As if he’d read her mind, he added, “Please, call me Mitch. Dr. Reynolds sounds too formal.”

  “All right,” she agreed slowly, sensing there was more to his request than calling him by his given name. “If you’re sure.”

  “I am.” His voice deepened and a strange, tingly warmth spread down her spine. In this moment, they could have been the only two people in the unit. In the entire hospital.

  Are you making a play for him? Therese’s accusation echoed in her mind. She gave a guilty start. She wasn’t, was she?

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mitch.”

  “Goodnight, Dana.”

  She wasn’t making a play for him, she told herself as he stepped aside so she could slip by. But when she glanced over her shoulder and caught him staring at the Christmas tree with a wounded expression on his face, she almost walked over to wrap him in her arms.

  Ridiculous. Mitch’s problems weren’t any of her business. He was a physician with whom she needed to maintain a professional relationship, not a personal one. She couldn’t soothe his pain as easily as she could comfort little Wendy.

  But she couldn’t deny how much she wanted to.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  DANA HEARD THE phone ringing and reluctantly opened her eyes. With a stab of guilt she realized it was already close to noon. Of course, she hadn’t fallen asleep until well after two in the morning, but, still, lounging in bed so late felt decadent.

  She scrambled out of bed then lunged across the room to grab the phone. “Hello?”

  “Dana!” Her friend Serena squealed in excitement. “Guess what? I’m pregnant!”

  “You are? Oh, Serena, that’s absolutely wonderful.” Dana grinned, running a hand through her tangled hair. Her friends, Serena and Grant already had a beautiful daughter, Sophia, who had just turned a year old last month. Serena and Grant had managed to find happiness in spite of a broken engagement years earlier, during which time Serena had been
pregnant but hadn’t told Grant. She’d gone into severe depression when her son had been stillborn. As far as Dana was concerned, if any couple deserved to be happy, Serena and Grant did.

  “I’m just a few weeks along, but I wanted you to be the first to know.”

  Dana was touched. “Thanks, Serena.”

  Her friend murmured something to someone in the background then came back on the line. “Grant says he’ll expect Auntie Dana to help babysit sweet little Sophie when it’s time for this child to be born.”

  “Of course!” Dana laughed. “You know I love spending time with Sophie. Now, make sure you take good care of yourself and the baby.”

  “You know I will. Bye, Dana.”

  Dana hung up the phone in a daze. The thought of Serena and Grant having another child caused a warm glow to settle around her heart. Serena was her best friend, as close as a sister.

  If there was a tiny pang of regret for not having a family of her own, she tried not to dwell on it. Just because she hadn’t found the love of her life, it didn’t mean she begrudged Serena and Grant one ounce of happiness.

  She had the passing thought that Mitch would get along great with Serena and Grant. Then she ruefully rolled her eyes. What was she doing, trying to make herself part of a couple? Mitch had issues of his own, such as a lingering sadness that convinced her he wasn’t emotionally available. At least, not for anything more than friendship. Besides, her luck with relationships wasn’t at all promising. Dana figured there must be something about her that didn’t inspire everlasting love.

  Maybe she was too much like her mother. Her father had left her mother when she’d been four. Yet on a professional level, her mother had been the most self-confident woman Dana had ever known. Until she’d succumbed to breast cancer, which had spread through her lymph nodes to the rest of her body.

  Dana wished she could share the news about Serena’s baby with her mother now. Overwhelming sadness replaced the warm glow. Her mother had longed to be a grandmother, but unfortunately things hadn’t worked out that way. Moments like this made the ache of losing her mother all the more difficult to bear.

  Dana tried to tell herself her mother was still with her in spirit, but it was still difficult to shake off the sudden loneliness as she headed for the shower.

  Jessica was still a patient in the ICU when Dana arrived at work later that afternoon. She wondered if Mitch would keep Jessica in the unit for another day or if she was scheduled to go out to a regular room soon.

  Dana winced when she realized she was once again to be in charge. Sometimes Therese resented how often Dana was put in charge, but the other nurse didn’t say a word as she took the role.

  She quickly scanned the list as her friend Caryn came up to stand beside her. “I’d like to keep Jessica as a patient, if that’s all right with you.”

  “I don’t mind.” Caryn reached into her bag and pulled out a Santa hat. “Here, I brought these for everyone to wear. I noticed some of the Christmas decorations are out, too—and it’s about time.”

  “I started pulling them out last night.” Dana didn’t protest when Caryn plopped the red and white hat on her head, she was too busy looking at the various patients. “Wow, when did Mr. Tanner get intubated?”

  “I don’t know.” Caryn handed hats out to several of the other nurses, too. Dana was surprised when Therese put one on, expecting the blonde nurse to turn her nose up at the goofy hat. “Do you want him back as well?”

  “Sure. Which patients do you want?”

  Once she’d divided up the patient load, she sat down to get the report from the day nurse. Amy had taken Mr. Tanner again and she filled Dana in on how his head injury had grown worse, and the neurosurgeons had intubated him to protect his airway.

  “Dana? Line one for you.” Caryn interrupted their report. “Family member of your patient in bed seven.”

  Jessica was the patient in bed seven so Dana nodded. “Anything else, Amy, before I take this call?” she asked.

  “Nope, that’s about it. I’ll be here a few more minutes anyway, so if you have any questions, let me know.”

  “I will.” Dana reached for the phone. “Hi, this is Dana. May I help you?”

  “Dana, this is Rick Kinkade, Jessica’s husband. I just found out she was admitted to the ICU. Is she all right?”

  Jessica’s husband? Dana glanced into the room, but Jessica appeared to be resting with her eyes closed. She groped for the proper response. “Uh, aren’t you and Jessica divorced?”

  “No, we’re not.” There was a slight pause, then he continued, “Please, at least tell me she’s OK. I need to know she’s not going to die. No matter what Jessica might have told you, I still care about her.”

  She was surprised by his concern, but a tiny voice in the back of her head wondered if that was just a way of manipulating the situation for information. If so, his acting skills were award-worthy. Truthfully, it didn’t matter how he felt towards Jessica—giving out detailed information went against the hospital’s privacy rules. Yet she couldn’t brush off his underlying desperation either.

  “How did you know she was here?” Dana stalled for time.

  “Chad called me. I still see the kids occasionally on weekends.”

  “I can’t say much,” Dana cautioned. “I will tell you that she’s stable and may be able to go out to a regular room soon.”

  “Thank God,” he murmured in a heartfelt tone. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear that. I’ve been worried sick about her.”

  Strange how she’d never gotten that impression from Jessica. Not that Jessica had confided any details regarding the break-up of her marriage, but the kids hadn’t mentioned their father the other day either. “Er, do you want me to tell her you called?”

  There was a long moment of silence. “No. Jess won’t be happy to know I’ve checked up on her,” he finally admitted.

  “Her mother is the spokesperson we give all updates and information to,” Dana informed him helpfully.

  He gave a harsh laugh. “Yeah, well, her mother doesn’t exactly talk to me either, which is why I heard the news from Chad. Thanks for telling me this much. For a minute after speaking to the kids, I imagined the worst.”

  “I understand.” Dana couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. “Take care.”

  Long after she’d hung up, she debated talking about the incident to Jessica. For the first hour of her shift, Mr. Tanner kept her busy, then Jessica’s monitor alarm went off, so Dana hurried into the room.

  “Are you all right?” Anxiously, she raked her gaze over the patient. Thankfully, Jessica seemed fine. The monitor alarm had been nothing more than artifact picked up through the wires from Jessica’s abrupt movements.

  “I’m fine—stiff from lying here so long.” Jessica wiggled around in the bed again, setting her monitor off. Dana hit the silence button. “Can I sit up for a while?”

  “Of course.” Dana pulled a chair close to the bed and covered it with a blanket before helping Jessica sit up at the side of the bed. “Just sit here for a minute, to make sure you don’t get dizzy.”

  “I’d like to call my kids again, too,” Jessica commented.

  “Are they staying with their dad or with your mother?” Dana asked, hoping she didn’t sound too nosey.

  “My mother.” Jessica’s bi-pap mask had to be taken off for the transfer to the chair. Dana kept an eye on her breathing.

  “So they don’t see much of their dad?” She couldn’t help asking as she helped Jessica stand. Holding a steady arm beneath Jessica’s, she waited for her patient to take the few steps necessary to reach the chair.

  “Only on weekends when he’s not busy.” Jessica sat in the chair and grimaced. “I hate feeling so weak.”

  “You’ll build your strength up over time, I’m sure.” Dana reconnected the bi-pap mask, adjusting it over Jessica’s nose and mouth. “It’s too bad your ex-husband doesn’t want to see them more often. Since you’re here in the hospital, it mi
ght be good for your kids to spend time with him.”

  Jessica frowned. “We’re not divorced. I couldn’t afford to go without any health insurance and he agreed to hold off for now. He likes spending time with the kids, but I don’t want them to get too dependent on him. He’s not much of a father figure.”

  Why not? Dana had to bite her tongue to keep from asking about something that wasn’t any of her business. Was he abusive? Anything was possible, but he obviously cared enough to call and make sure Jessica was all right. Dana sat on the edge of the bed. “If you ever want to talk, Jessica, I’m here for you. I’m sure it can’t be easy, going through this separation while battling your illness.”

  “Thanks, but I’d rather not think about my marriage right now.” Jessica avoided her gaze and tucked the edge of the blanket around her legs.

  “OK, I understand.” Dana stood, then moved the call switch so it was within Jessica’s reach. “If you change your mind, though, let me know. I’m a good listener.”

  Jessica closed her eyes for a brief moment as if fighting some internal war. “I know,” she whispered behind the mask.

  Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, Dana changed the subject, forcing cheerfulness into her tone. “So, how would you like some Christmas decorations in here?”

  “Sounds good.” Jessica gestured to Dana’s hat. “I like the hat, but not nearly as much as the elf suit.”

  “Yeah, but the hat’s way more comfortable than the elf costume,” Dana confided. She made several notations on Jessica’s vital sign flow sheet, then headed toward the door. “I’ll be back in a little while. Call if you need anything.”

  “I will.” Jessica nodded.

  Dana left the room and almost walked into Mitch. He lifted a brow when he spotted her hat.

  “What is it with you and the holidays?” he asked.

  She didn’t want to blurt out her promise to her mother or admit how hard she was finding it to keep, so she simply shrugged. “I enjoy spreading Christmas spirit. We have a hat for you, if you’d like.”

  He shook his head with a grimace. “No, thanks.”