by Laura Iding
“Oh, excuse me.” The dark-haired woman laden with shopping bags glanced up at him. Dana. For a moment he thought his mind had conjured up her image from his dreams but, no, the instant dismay crossing her features on recognizing him was all too real.
“Here, let me help you.” He reached for one of the bags slipping from her grasp.
“I’ve got it,” she insisted. He ignored her.
“Did a little damage at the stores, I see.” The bag in his hand was heavy and he wondered who she was buying presents for. Did she have sisters or brothers? Nieces or nephews? The idea of being exposed to more children almost made him run the other way. Yet he couldn’t deny he was curious to know everything about Dana.
“It’s Christmas.” She shrugged as if that said it all. She didn’t smile or look him directly in the eye and he found himself wishing she would. She shifted a few bags from one hand to the other. “Here, I’m fine now. I’ll take my bag and get out of your way.”
“You’re not in my way.” She was, but he was forced to admit he liked her there. He tucked the legal thriller under his arm, then reached for another bag. “Here, give me a few of those, then you can get whatever you came for.”
With reluctance, she allowed him to take a few more bags, then glanced over her shoulder at the rows of books. “I only stopped to pick up the latest Cavenaugh novel.”
Mitch smiled. It was the same book he’d come to buy. “Me, too. Here, I’ll grab a second one, then we can get in the checkout line together.”
“I still need a few children’s books.” Dana moved toward the children’s area and he found himself following. “I’ll just meet you down at the checkout, though, if you don’t want to wait.”
“It’s no problem.” The Christmas theme was more noticeable here, especially since one of the store clerks was dressed up as the Grinch who stole Christmas. If Jason had lived, he’d be two now. How would he have reacted to the big green Grinch? The other kids seemed to love him.
He glanced at Dana. She pursed her lips as she deliberated between several large, colorful books. Her dark hair swung forward, brushing along the edge of her chin, and he had to stop himself from reaching over to tuck the strands behind her ear. Her casual outfit, snug jeans and a jade green and gold sweater that brought out the green in her eyes, made her seem all the more touchable. Huggable. Kissable.
Stop it. He pulled his mind back to reality. What was his problem anyway? He’d never indulged in daytime fantasies before. And after the way he’d treated her, he doubted she’d be interested in hearing about them.
Luckily, Dana didn’t seem to notice his preoccupation as she chose several large books, tucking them in the crook of her arm before turning back to him.
“I’m ready.”
He swallowed hard and forced cheerfulness into his tone. “Great. Let’s go.”
They made their way through the packed store to where the checkout lines began. As they stood there, he tried to think of a way to apologize.
Dana rested her bags on the floor with a sigh. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who finish their holiday shopping in June.”
“No, I’m not that organized.” He glanced away, unable to tell her the truth. That in the past two years he hadn’t done any Christmas shopping at all. And that there was no reason for this year to be any different.
“Ah. You must be a wait-until-Christmas-Eve type, then.” Dana picked up her bags and moved a few feet as the line surged forward. “I’m glad to say I’ve finally finished all of my shopping with this trip.”
“Hmm,” he murmured noncommittally. As they neared the checkout counter, he added, “Wait for me, and I’ll walk you to your car.”
“There’s no need, I’ve imposed on you long enough.”
He shook his head. Since bumping into Dana, he was loath to go back to his condo alone. “What if I told you how much I like spending time with you?”
She looked surprised as she turned toward him. “I guess I never considered how difficult it must be to move to a new area where you don’t know anyone.”
“I’m getting to know people here, but only a few I care to spend time with.” Mitch lifted his chin in the direction of the cashier’s desk. “You’re up, Dana.”
“Oh.” She picked up her bags and hurried over to the counter to pay for her books. Mitch still had her Cavenaugh novel in his hand and when another register opened up, he paid for both copies. Afterwards, he tucked the extra copy in one of the shopping bags he was carrying for her.
Then he caught up with her at the door. “I still have your shopping bags,” he reminded her. “You’ll have to direct me to where you parked.”
“Sure.” Dana led the way outside and conversation stalled as they bent into the bitter north wind. The snow from the previous night had melted into slush, then refrozen into ice. Twice he saw Dana slip before she caught herself and regained her footing.
“This is it.” She popped the trunk of her white Mustang and he stored the bags he carried alongside hers. After slamming the trunk, she gestured to the car. “Get in.”
He didn’t argue, but slid into the passenger seat. She turned on the engine and waited for it to heat up. “Brr, it’s cold. Thanks for helping with my bags. I’ll drive you to where you left your car.”
“How about we go out for dinner instead?” he suggested, glancing at his watch. “It’s past seven.”
For a moment he thought she was going to turn him down flat. Then she glanced at him. “Why?”
“Because I’m hungry?” She gave him a skeptical glance and he could have hit himself for the offhand remark. Reaching over, he took her hand in his, warming her chilled fingers by curling his around them. “Dana, please. Share dinner with me. I don’t want to spend the evening alone and I like you.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Her words were quiet, barely above a whisper.
His stomach clenched with disappointment. “Why not?”
“Because I like you, too.” The intense longing in her gaze nearly set him on fire.
“Ah, Dana.” He reached up and cupped her cheek with his hand, then brushed his thumb over her porcelain skin. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I don’t have much to offer a woman right now except friendship.”
“Friendship.” She drew in a deep breath, then angled her chin away from his touch. “I guess you can’t have too many friends.”
He ground his teeth in frustration, wishing he could offer her more. Everything his body ached to offer. But it wouldn’t be fair to Dana. He just couldn’t risk falling in love again.
“Friends are important.” He was lying through his teeth because he’d never wanted any of his friends the way he wanted her. “So, how about dinner?”
“No, I’m afraid not.” Dana shook her head. “But thanks for asking. Maybe another time?”
She gave him an expectant look that told him she wanted him out of her car. Mitch wished he could stay, but took the hint and opened his door. He could walk to his car.
“Goodbye, Dana. See you at work tomorrow.”
“Goodbye.” The instant he closed the door, he heard the automatic locks kick on, as if she were afraid he’d jump in and force his presence upon her.
Standing in the cold wind, he watched with a sense of loss as she backed her car out of the parking space and drove away.
Damn. He wished he could be the guy she needed him to be.
CHAPTER SIX
DANA ENTERED THE hospital early, almost an hour before her scheduled shift. She’d wanted to drop off her Christmas gifts at Children’s Memorial Hospital, then she planned to spend a few minutes visiting with Jessica, who had been transferred out of the ICU.
She’d tucked the legal thriller Mitch had bought her into her shoulder-bag, hoping for time to read during lunch. It had been nice of him to buy it for her. She wouldn’t have guessed they shared the same taste in reading.
The Children’s Memorial Hospital Volunteers had been thrilled wit
h the gifts she’d purchased. Feeling in lighter spirits than she had on her day off, Dana headed over to the Four-West wing of Trinity Medical Center.
She walked down the hall towards room ten. Her footsteps slowed when an empty room loomed in her line of vision. The mess of discarded supplies on the floor looked the way a room did after a Code Blue had been called. Feeling sick, she spun around to head over to the ICU.
She prayed Jessica was all right, that her favorite patient had just experienced a little trouble with her breathing again and nothing worse.
Coming round the corner, she found three people huddled in the waiting room outside the ICU doors. The familiar tear-streaked faces of Wendy and Chad tugged at her heart.
For a moment she suspected the worst. Had Jessica died before the staff had been able to get her stable and transferred to the ICU?
“Dana!” When Wendy saw her, she ran over. Dana caught the little girl close. “Mommy’s in the ICU again.”
Thank heavens. “I know, sweetie. I’m so sorry,” Dana murmured in empathy. The emotional roller-coaster of chronic illness wasn’t fun to ride. “I promise we’ll take good care of her.”
Lifting her gaze, she noticed a tall, thin man standing beside Chad, but the lanky build so much like Chad’s she suspected at once he was the children’s father. When he saw her, he stepped forward, holding out a hand. “Dana? I believe we spoke on the phone. I’m Rick Kinkade.”
“Nice to meet you, Rick.” Dana took his hand in hers. “I’m sorry we couldn’t meet under better circumstances.”
“Me, too.” His expression clouded. “We’re waiting for the doctor to come and talk to us.”
Mitch walked through the double doors from the ICU before Rick had finished speaking. “Hello. I’m Dr. Reynolds, the critical care intensivist on duty.”
Since Wendy continued to hold onto Dana, there was no way to avoid him. “Hi.”
“Dana.” Mitch’s glance encompassed the rest of Jessica’s family. “Hi, Chad, Wendy. Your mother is doing fine. She’s breathing better with that bi-pap mask on her face, the same one she had before.”
“Is she going to need that at home?” Chad asked.
Good question. Dana glanced toward Mitch, wondering how he would respond. He didn’t lie, but slowly nodded his head. “She might, if she doesn’t get a lung transplant soon. Her lungs aren’t doing very well on their own.”
Chad hunched his shoulders and stared at his feet. Dana wondered if he was trying not to cry. She ached for the boy. What could she say? How do you prepare a child for the all-too-real possibility of losing his mother?
“Dana? Would you, please, show the kids to bed three?” Mitch asked. “I promised Jessica I’d send them in.”
Assuming he wanted to talk to Jessica’s husband alone, she nodded and turned toward Chad. “Uh, sure. Are you guys ready to go in?”
The boy hesitated and Dana was struck by the way he subtly stayed close to his dad. No matter what had transpired between Jessica and her husband, the boy seemed to need his father. And she was sure Wendy did, too.
“Go ahead, son. I’ll wait here for you.” Rick nudged Chad forward.
Dana led the way into the unit. As before, Chad and Wendy hung close to her side as she took them to see their mother.
“Chad. Wendy.” Jessica’s pale features appeared more fragile than ever before. It was just a few days before Christmas, the woman looked as if she’d never be well enough to go home. The kids crossed over to the side of the bed, within their mother’s reach. “I love you both very much.”
“We love you, too, Mommy.” Wendy’s lower lip trembled. “Can you breathe better now?”
Jessica’s smile was mostly hidden behind her bi-pap mask. “Yes, I’m breathing fine. Is your father still here?”
“Yeah, he’s out in the waiting room, talking to Dr. Reynolds,” Chad informed her. “He’s going to take us home.”
Dana noticed that Jessica’s smile faded. “Good. I’m glad. Just don’t forget to do your homework.”
“We won’t.” Chad blinked rapidly as if he was trying not to cry as he stepped back. “We’ll call you later, Mom.”
Dana moved forward. “I’ll take the kids back out to the waiting room. Do you want me to bring your husband in?”
Jessica hesitated and Dana wondered if she’d pushed too far. But to her surprise, Jessica nodded. “Yes, please.”
“Great.” She waited as each child gave their mom a hug and a kiss, then walked with them back to the waiting room.
She found Rick sitting alone and wondered where Mitch had disappeared to. Rick jumped to his feet when he saw them approaching.
“Jessica wants to talk to you.”
He perked up. “Really? You kids sit here and wait for me. I’ll be right back.”
As they walked into the unit, Rick halted her with a hand on her arm. “Wait. Are you sure Jess wanted to talk to me?”
“I’m sure. I asked her specifically if she wanted to see you.”
“I’m worried.” Rick dragged a hand down his face. “She wasn’t expecting me to visit, then her breathing turned bad and they called a Code Blue. Maybe it’s all my fault she’s back in the ICU.”
“Her lung disease isn’t your fault,” she reminded him. “I will grant you, stress isn’t what she needs right now. But the last time this happened was almost a week ago and you weren’t visiting then.”
“No, I wasn’t.” Rick hung back, as if changing his mind about going in. “If I was less selfish, I’d do what was better for Jess and stay away.”
Dana heard his words and abruptly wondered if her father had shared a similar sentiment. Had he thought he was doing her a favor by staying away all these years?
Impossible. Why would he feel that way? What could possibly be so bad?
“I gambled our life savings away, put us severely in debt,” Rick confessed, making her realize she must have spoken her thoughts out loud.
“Not a good thing, but forgivable,” Dana reassured him.
“Is she going to die?” Rick’s expression turned grave.
Dana hesitated, trying to think of something to say. This was the most difficult part of her job. “It’s possible. We’re hoping for a lung transplant, but transplant patients don’t always do well. All we can do is hope and pray.”
“If anyone can beat the odds, Jess can.” Rick squared his shoulders. “All right, let’s go in.”
She walked him to Jessica’s bedside, then left them alone. As much as she wanted things to work out, Dana knew Mitch had been right. She had meddled enough for now.
“Dana?” Mitch came up behind her. “Are the kids doing all right?”
Whatever had been bothering him before seemed to have disappeared now. “As much as they can be, I guess.”
He nodded. “I bet. This is the second time in less than two weeks.”
“I know.” For a moment it was simply comforting to stand beside Mitch, watching as Rick sat beside Jessica’s bed and took his wife’s hand in his. “You know,” she murmured, “there may be hope for them yet.”
She expected Mitch to walk away or disagree, but he didn’t. Instead, he simply nodded. “Maybe. At least they’re forming a united front for the children.”
Knowing Mitch was divorced was one thing, but for the first time it occurred to her he might have children, too. Although she couldn’t imagine he’d move away from his children. Unless his ex-wife had obtained sole custody. Highly unusual, but not impossible. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “Do you have children?”
“No. No children.” His voice was low, raw as he avoided her gaze. His closed expression didn’t invite further questioning either. Before she could think of some way to respond, Serena walked up.
“Dana, are you going to the staff Christmas party tomorrow evening?” Serena’s gaze included Mitch. “You’re invited, too, Dr. Reynolds. There’s a whole group of us going.”
“Thanks, but I think I’m still on duty here
in the ICU.” Mitch took a step back. “I’ll see you later, Dana.”
“Bye.” She watched him walk away. Serena poked her in the ribs. “So the rumor I’m hearing is true? You’re going out with Mitch Reynolds?”
“No, I’m not going out with him.” Dana watched him leave, knowing there was something Mitch wasn’t telling her. Then she turned toward Serena and let out an exasperated sigh. “Who told you that? Therese?”
Serena had the grace to wince. “Yeah, it might have been Therese. Still, you two seemed rather chummy. You and Mitch I mean,” she clarified, “not you and Therese.”
Deep in the darkest corner of Dana’s dreams, she wished the rumor were true. But she didn’t confess that to Serena. Maybe later they’d have a chance to talk, when they weren’t standing in the middle of the ICU. “We’re friends. The poor guy moved here from another state and doesn’t know anyone. He’s just looking for people to hang out with, that’s all.”
“Hmm.” Serena splayed her hand over her still flat belly.
“How’s the baby?” Dana asked.
“Fine,” Serena answered in an absent tone. “I’ll keep working on Mitch to attend the Christmas party.” Then she glanced at Dana. “You are coming, aren’t you?”
“I’m planning on it.” Dana nodded as they made their way to the nurses’ station. As she took report on her patients, she couldn’t help wondering if Serena would convince Mitch to show up at the party after all. And if he did, would he come alone or bring a date?
Mitch put his hand in his lab coat pocket to pull out his stethoscope and a folded piece of paper fluttered to the floor. He leaned over and picked it up, then stuffed it back in his pocket. Not until after he’d fully examined the new admission did he open the paper to find an invitation to the critical care unit’s holiday party.
He suspected Dana’s friend, the nurse wearing the long braid was the one who’d slipped it in there. With a frown, he tucked it back inside his pocket. Attending the party would give him something to do, but he was wary of seeing Dana again. Or rather, he was wary of his physical reaction to seeing Dana again.