by Marcy Pacino
Mona, a thousand questions on the tip of her tongue, turned and realizing Sarah probably didn’t want to answer questions at that moment, leaned over and simply said
“Tell me all about it later.”
The lights dimmed and the woman of the group, whom Sarah didn’t recognize, spoke, asking everyone to rise and join them in praising God. Sarah rose with the others and closed her eyes as the song began. It was one she was very familiar with, but she chose to sing it quietly to God rather than join in with gusto. They sang a few more praise songs and then the same woman announced that they had a couple of special songs, written by members of their band. Sarah sat down along with the others and looked for the first time with intent at the band. Her roaming eyes stopped when she realized the man standing next to Tom was Brian! He hadn’t told her he was in the band! Sinking a little lower in her seat, Sarah hoped she could appear to be watching the band as she used this opportunity to study Brian. He had changed clothes. He now had on a blue striped shirt, buttoned down the front, except for the top two buttons, which he had left unbuttoned. She noticed a few brown chest hairs peeking over the top of the v created by the shirt being unbuttoned.
She shuddered, “Wow,” she thought, “I don’t remember these feelings being so strong fourteen years ago and it certainly isn’t happening exactly the way it had the first time. It really does seem like I’m getting a second chance at life.”
The song ended and she realized she hadn’t been paying any attention. She clapped with the rest of the crowd anyway. Brian looked over at her and smiled. She smiled back.
“This next song was written by, and will be sung by, Brian.” said the unknown woman. “I wrote this song a few years ago, I knew a couple in this very situation, hope you like it.”
He said as he looked over at her again and strummed the first notes on his guitar. His voice, a strong, beautiful tenor, floated across the crowd to her as she sat mesmerized by his eyes and his voice as he sang. The song, sung in parable form, involved a boy and a girl. The boy loved the girl and was always hanging around her. But the girl didn’t reciprocate his love; but still he loved her. Then one day, he saved her life and he died. Only then did she realize his love was so strong. The last verse was about how God’s love is just like that. He loves us, no matter what we do or even if we do not love Him back. He is always there and He saved our life by dying for us. Sarah thought it was a beautiful song, as apparently so did the others because the applause was almost deafening. But what got to her the most was every time he sang the words “I love you”; he looked at her and sought her eyes, caressing her with his gaze, causing her to tremble, both with excitement and fear.
When the singing was over, Mona and Sarah stood and Mona announced that she was ready for bed. Not Sarah, she was too excited to sleep, so she told Mona she was going for a walk and slipped out the door unnoticed. Once outside, she shivered slightly, the sun had gone down hours ago and being that it was March on the East Coast, the air was rather cool. Not wanting to go back inside for her jacket, she turned in the direction of the outdoor church and began walking briskly to try and keep warm. The church was only about five hundred feet from the cabin and she could still hear voices, though muffled. She reached the church and sat down on the first stone bench she came to. She gazed at the stone alter, roughly built, as were the benches, set a few feet from the first row of benches. Sitting there, looking up at the moon, covered mostly by a few errant clouds,
She spoke aloud “Dear God,” she began “first I want to say Thank You for this obvious opportunity to relive part of my life. I have to believe, Lord, that this is Your will, and whatever happens I will accept gladly and graciously. Thank You, too Lord, for the gift of seeing a miracle take place because this truly is a miracle that I am living. I love You, Lord and put my complete trust and my life in Your hands, Amen.”
Suddenly she heard voices, no, a single voice, Brian’s “Sarah, Sarah, oh there you are.” he said as he stepped into the opening at the “back” of the church.
As he approached, she stood and stepped away from the bench. He reached her and took her into his arms. “You’re cold, didn’t you bring a jacket out here with you?” he asked.
“No, I forgot it, but I’m not really that cold.” she replied.
He released her and, taking off his jacket, placed it around her shoulders.
“There, that’s better,” he said and once again took her in his arms, pulling her close.
She rested her head against his warm chest and sighed contently. They stood there like that for a moment or two, unmoving, until he involuntarily shivered.
Sarah pulled away slightly and looking up into his searching, longing eyes, said “It’s too cold to be out here like this, especially you in just a shirt, I guess we’d better go inside.”
He whispered an agreement as he brought his hungry mouth down to meet her trembling lips. The kiss was long and very passionate, causing her head to swim and she forgot all about it being cold outside.
He pulled back a little, smiled and whispered “Oh, Sarah, Sarah and crushed his lips down on hers again. His arms tightened around her and she could feel the love between them. Parting once again, he shivered again, bringing her to her senses.
Stepping away from him, she grabbed his hand and said, “Come on, let’s go back, its way too cold out here.”
Another shiver caused him to agree and they headed back to the cabin, arm in arm. The cabin was nice and warm; the fire had not quite died in the large stone fireplace standing in one corner of the huge open room.
He walked her over to the door that led into the women’s dorm, stopped and with one final kiss, whispered “Sarah, I don’t want to scare you, but I feel like I’m falling in love with you, goodnight my love,” and kissed her gently again.
When she opened her eyes, she was alone standing in front of the door. She climbed up to her bunk, still clothed in her jeans, blouse and sweater, a huge smile across face. She dropped her head on the pillow and prayed she could get even a little bit of sleep. Staring out the tiny window at the now fully exposed moon, her mind replayed the passionate kisses they shared and kept hearing him say “I think I’m falling in love with you.” She drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.
Chapter Four
Morning brought sunshine, happy thoughts and Mona, with a lot of questions, as her eyes grew wide when she realized where she was.
“Okay, Mona” she said, “let me get dressed and then I’ll answer your questions, finally.”
She had barely stepped back inside their cubicle when Mona greeted her with “Well, what happened, tell me every detail.”
“Okay, okay. First, as you know, yesterday afternoon, he kissed me and told me he liked me. Then, in the kitchen, I was washing, he was rinsing, and our hands kept brushing one another, sending waves of passion. Then, just as we were finished, he thanked me and brushed a kiss across my lips and said “later”.
Mona kept silent but her eyes grew wide as did her smile.
“You know I went for a walk after worship, well, he found me. I was cold and he gave me his jacket, then we kissed. It was too cold, so we came back inside. We kissed and he told me he thought he was falling in love with me and we kissed again. Then he went to bed and so did I. And here is where you found me.”
She said, almost out of breath, for she had said all of this so fast, Mona almost couldn’t keep up and never managed one question or comment until she had finished.
“In love with you, he said that, wow.” was her first response. “and…” Mona started but Sarah interrupted her.
“Yes, he said that. Now, I’m hungry so I’m going to breakfast, we can talk later.” And with that, she walked away.
She trembled s
lightly when she reached the door separating the bunks from the main room, stopped and a thousand doubts swirled around her
“What if he doesn’t feel the same way today? What if he was just caught up in the moment? What do I do if he doesn’t even acknowledge me? What do I do if he approaches me? Oh, what if, what if, what if, get a hold of yourself girl. Just go out there and see what happens.”
She stepped through the door and held her breath. Looking around, she didn’t see him and thought
“I wonder where he is. Did he get up early or is he still asleep?” she wondered as she glanced down at her watch. “7:37 am, oh well, I’m hungry” she thought and walked into the kitchen.
She inhaled the tantalizing aromas from the bacon and eggs recently cooked and the warm biscuits just coming out of the oven, as she poured herself a glass of orange juice. She was just finishing up with her breakfast when Brian’s voice caught her attention. He was across the room and had just reacted to something Tom had said. His back was to her so she slid back her chair, reached for her dishes and rose. She was halfway to the kitchen when a warm sweet, deep voice spoke quietly into her ear.
“Good morning, here let me take that for you.”
As he slid his hands under hers and extracted the plate from her. With the other hand he reached for her glass and she relinquished it as well.
“Good morning to you too, and thank you.” She said as she followed him into the kitchen.
Setting the dishes on the counter, with the other dirty dishes, which had begun to pile up, he turned and asked her if she had any plans for the day. She shook her head and they walked out of the kitchen, side by side discussing the many things possible to do. She so desperately wanted to embrace and kiss him, but she felt that he was a very private person and didn’t show his emotions in public.
Suddenly he said, with a twinkle in his eyes, “have you seen the outdoor church yet, I hear it’s really pretty?”
Catching his meaning, she responded “No, I haven’t, do you want to go see it now?”
“Sure, but we only have a few minutes before Church service starts.” was his reply and he opened the door and they went out.
The five hundred feet between the cabin and the church felt like five hundred miles to her and she had to restrain herself from grabbing his hand and running the rest of the way there. When they finally reached it, and he had looked around and saw they were alone, he took her in his arms and kissed her with such hunger and passion that she almost lost her footing.
Pulling away briefly, he looked into her eyes and spoke with such passion she almost cried. “Sarah,” he began “I do believe now that I have fallen in love with you. I barely slept last night, I kept thinking about you and our kisses, our, oh so passionate kisses,” he said, huskily, as his lips once more sought to claim hers.
They both shuddered fiercely as the passion they awoke in each other exploded and melted their two bodies together. He broke the kiss and stepped back slightly, arms still around her waist.
He looked into her eyes and said “Oh, Sarah, I love you. I have never felt this way with anybody before. You’re amazing and I’ve got to sit down before I fall over.”
She weakly agreed and they stumbled toward the stone benches. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap, embracing her with his strong arms. She shuddered and snuggled against his warm body. She could feel his heart as it beat rapidly under his shirt. They sat like that for a couple of minutes, totally content.
Then she straightened up and taking his face in her trembling hands, she looked into his beautiful deep brown eyes, her eyes shimmering with tears of joy, said “Oh Brian, I love you too and I, too, have never experienced anything like this before. So much passion, so much love I can only imagine with this much passion in our kisses what it’s going to be like when…” she stopped suddenly.
He chuckled softly and finished what she had started “you mean when we make love?”
At this, she blushed and he, still chuckling slightly said “It’s so cute when you blush and I think it’s neat that you have a hard time talking about sex. At least I do know you don’t have difficulty showing me how you feel.”
She blushed again then threw her arms around him and kissed him with such passion it visibly rocked him. He returned her kiss with equal passion and they both trembled immensely.
Pulling apart once again, he said “Wow!” and shook his head. “We’ve got to control ourselves and this kissing thing has got to stop. Well, not stop, but you know what I mean. If we keep this up, we’re going to find out the answer to your question sooner than later.”
With that, she blushed again and buried her face into his chest, their hearts rapidly beating together in perfect rhythm.
“Ok,” she said after a few minutes “What do you suppose we do? It’s pretty obvious we have a hard time keeping our hands and lips off one another.”
“Well, I guess maybe we should try and not be alone with each other too much.” he said.
She looked at him, the disappointment clearly visible on her face, “If that’s what you want,” she said.
Taking her face in his hands, he said, “No, it’s not what I want, I want you. It’s just that we need to wait, to slow down a little and explore the rest of us, not just the physical.”
Again, she blushed. She responded, “I understand what you are trying to say and I agree with you. I also love you for it because it shows me that your feelings are real, not that I had any doubt. What I mean is, you love me and care about me, and you want to not have any regrets. That’s what I want too. But please don’t tell me I can’t be around you, or leave you alone, because I couldn’t handle that.”
“No, my love, I would never ask you to leave me alone. I love you and I want to be with you always.” He said and then he kissed her tenderly.
Suddenly, they heard voices as people began making their way to the outdoor church, where service was going to begin in a few minutes. She jumped up off his lap and laughed as she tried to calm her rapidly beating heart and appear to be enjoying the view. It was very pretty, she noticed for the first time. He had stood and was standing beside her. He startled her as he remarked about the beauty of the snow-covered mountains and the chunks of ice formed not far from the Church pulpit. She laughed easily as the first of the group joined them.
“Oh, hi Brian, I was wondering where you had run off to,” Tom said, his eyes twinkling. “Enjoying the sights?”
“Immensely” was Brian’s reply.
Sarah blushed. Just them, Pastor Bob stepped forward and announced that service was getting ready to start and could everyone find a seat. Sarah and Brian joined Tom on one of the stone benches and taking her hand, Brian, glancing down at her, smiled such a sincere, loving smile Sarah almost cried out. Instead she sighed contently as they stood to join the Pastor in a couple of accapella songs before he got into his sermon.
The rest of the day was a blur. They hiked together, climbed rocks and icebergs together and just enjoyed each other’s company. And to all the people they were around, it was quite obvious that something had happened between them. That evening, in their cubicle, Mona demanded she be informed about everything that had happened. She had heard a few rumors; were they true, she wanted to know. Sitting cross-legged in the middle of Mona’s bunk, Sarah told Mona all that had transpired and had been said at the church and what they did throughout the day. She was beaming from ear to ear and was utterly exhausted when she finished her recount of the day. She yawned and told Mona she was going to get herself a glass of orange juice and then go to bed.
Standing in the almost fully dark kitchen, the only light coming in from the moon shining through the small window across the room, just finishing her drink, she nearly ju
mped out of her skin when someone whispered her name. Turning toward the direction it had come from, Sarah saw Brian leaning against the door jamb, a smile on his face.
Stepping toward her, he said, “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” and embraced her as his mouth sought hers.
Hungrily they clung together, savoring every moment, every feeling, until they could be together again. He groaned and she trembled as they said their goodnights and went their separate ways.
Mona was still up when Sarah reached their cubicle. “What took you so long?” she asked.
“Brian” was all she managed to say as she crawled up onto her bunk.
“Night, Mona.” She mumbled as she drifted off to sleep.
“The bus ride back is certainly better than the ride up”. thought Sarah, as she snuggled a little closer to Brian.
He had dozed off about thirty minutes into their ride so she cuddled up next to him to doze too. Only, being that close to him, she found she couldn’t sleep. She just sat there, content in the circle of his arm, his soft, moist breath in her ear.
Chapter Five
The weeks flew by and Sarah couldn’t believe how happy she was. They saw each other as often as they could on weekends and had managed to keep their desires under control. Each time they said their goodbyes, they could feel the desires screaming to be set free and it was becoming harder and harder to maintain the purity they both so desperately wanted.
The last time they were together, after a few extremely passionate kisses, Brian suddenly said, “I’ve got to leave now, before I do something we’ll both regret later. I love you so much, Sarah, we’ve got to do something about this and soon.” And with a quick kiss, he was gone.
That was three days ago and that hadn’t seen each other since, only spoken on the phone, though neither bringing up what was said when they were last together. Sarah was a little nervous as she stepped off the bus one block from Bible Study. Brian was standing there, holding a single red rose, a huge smile on his face. She jumped into his arms and kissed him passionately.