“Yes, you may,” she replied.
He held his hand to her then guided her to the other section of the room.
***
A half hour before he had to leave for the ball, Camden stood in front of the mirror in his bedchamber. He took a deep breath in an effort to settle his nerves, which did ease his anxiety a little. But he was still in the safety of his home. He wasn’t sure the method would work when he was at the ball. Even so, it was best if he practiced it. Maybe doing so would help him keep calm.
Everything would be all right. Before leaving Helena’s place earlier that day, she told him he must think positively. So instead of thinking he was clumsy, he should tell himself he was graceful. Likewise, he had to keep telling himself he would do well tonight, and one of the ladies he would dance with would be his wife before the month was over. She assured him if he persisted with these thoughts, he would gain confidence.
“I can do this,” he whispered.
Turning his attention to his reflection, he stood up straight, pulling his shoulders back and lifting his chin as she’d instructed. There. So far, so good.
He closed his eyes and thought of that day when his brother took him horseback riding. He recalled riding through the fields. At one point, they got off their horses to sit at the gazebo. His brother spent a good hour telling him all about his studies and the people he’d met.
But more than all that, he’d never forget the way his brother turned to him and said, “Everyone is preoccupied with themselves. Out there, it’s like a circus. Everyone wants attention. They strive to be better dressed, wealthier, or more popular. And most of them aren’t even good friends. They want to use others to get what they want. I know Father makes it seem like the world out there is better than the one you have here with Mother, but he’s wrong. Of all the people I know, you don’t put on a pretense. You’re the only one I know who’s worth calling a friend.”
Camden opened his eyes and saw the smile. But with that smile also came a tear. He wiped it away. It was his best memory. But it was what happened to his brother two years ago that made him wish he’d fought harder to stop his brother from going back to London. If he’d had any idea what would have happened, he would have insisted his brother remain at the estate.
There was no way he could have known. He didn’t know what London was like. He didn’t realize gentlemen who carried titles could be ruthless in their dealings with others. Nor did he know how easy it was for a gentleman to get into so much trouble he couldn’t figure any way out except to kill himself.
“Just think about that day we went horseback riding,” he whispered. “Don’t think about what came after it.”
Once his emotions settled, he thought back to the pleasant day he’d shared with Ellis and made eye contact with his reflection.
“May I have this dance?”
He released his breath. That was simple enough. He could do it. There was no reason why he couldn’t. And Helena was right. Simply by giving the impression he was confident was starting to make him feel that way.
This evening, he would meet his future bride. It wasn’t a question of if. It was a question of which one of the ladies he’d dance with would be the one.
He practiced his posture and question three more times before he felt ready enough to go to the ball.
Chapter Eight
“I’m glad you came,” Chloe called out to Helena.
Helena, who was waving her fan, looked away from the entrance of the ballroom. So far, Miss Jasper and Miss Clarkson had arrived. She’d given them a quick reassuring talk before letting them mingle among the guests. Now, she couldn’t help but wonder if Camden was going to show up. Some gentlemen liked to be fashionably late. Perhaps he was one of them. Or maybe he was afraid he’d fail so he decided to stay home. Or maybe he was running behind schedule. Or maybe his carriage broke down.
“Has anything interesting happened?” Chloe asked, drawing Helena’s attention back to her.
“Not yet.” She released her breath, surprised she’d even been holding it. Why was she so worried about Camden? She could only do so much. It was up to him to ask the ladies to dance. Deciding she might as well tell her friend why she was so nervous, she said, “I recently agreed to help a gentleman find a wife.”
Chloe’s eyes grew wide. “You did?”
Helena nodded. “I’m not sure if it was a good idea or not, but he was having so much difficulty at Lord Edon’s ball earlier this week, I couldn’t turn him away.”
“You have a good heart.”
“I don’t know if having a good heart has anything to do with it.”
“Of course, it does. Some people wouldn’t care what happened to him.”
Maybe. Maybe not. But Helena thought it stemmed more from a sense of duty. A duty to what, she didn’t know. But it was a duty all the same.
She caught sight of him. Good. He came. Turning to her friend, she said, “There he is.”
Chloe followed her gaze. “Maybe having a good heart has nothing to do with it. He’s handsome. It’s certainly no sacrifice to spend time with him.”
“His looks have nothing to do with it.”
Smirking, Chloe said, “Of course, it doesn’t.”
“Anyway,” Helena replied, deciding to ignore her friend’s teasing, “I was wondering if you’d let him dance with you. He’s terribly shy, and if you would be kind and attentive to him, it might help build his confidence.”
“Share a dance with a handsome gentleman? I suppose I could make the sacrifice for your sake.”
Doing her best to hide her amusement, Helena said, “I take my job seriously. Now, wait here, and I’ll tell him to come over to you.”
“All right.”
Helena wove her way through several people who were talking and found Camden searching the room, probably looking for her. “Your Grace,” she spoke up.
He turned to her, and she noted his relief. Good heavens. Did the poor gentleman think she would neglect her obligation to guide him through this evening? She never abandoned a client in the past, and she wouldn’t do so now.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
“As well as can be expected, all things considered.” He cleared his throat. “It’s hotter in here than it was at Lord Edon’s ball.”
It wasn’t. He was just letting his nerves get to him. But she didn’t tell him that. Most likely, it would only make things worse for him. “You’re doing fine,” she assured him. “You’re well groomed and dressed. And you want to know something?”
Taking his eyes off the crowd, he met her gaze. “What?”
It took her a moment before she could blink. There was a spark of innocence in his gaze other gentlemen didn’t have, and something like that would appeal greatly to ladies. “On my way over here, I overheard a lady mention how handsome you are.”
His face turned red. “She did?”
“I’ll share a confidence with you. Ladies are drawn to a gentleman with a good heart. Outward appearances have their place, of course, but it’s the character of a gentleman that makes her love him. Your handsome appearance will get them to dance with you, but your kind heart is what will get one of them to marry you. A lot of gentlemen need their titles to secure a wife. You’re not one of them.”
“But don’t ladies also like gentlemen who are charming?”
“A gentleman with a good heart is charming.” Before he could argue with her about it, she gestured to Chloe. “I thought it’d be safe to start with a married lady. This way, you have no pressure to impress her.”
“How many married ladies will you have me dance with?”
“She’ll be the only one, unless I believe you’d benefit from dancing with another.” When he didn’t make a move toward Chloe, she asked, “Do you already know her?”
“No, no I don’t.”
“Good.” The whole thing would be pointless if he did. She waited, but he still made no move to go to her. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, I…” He fidgeted then lowered his gaze.
“Look me in the eye,” she instructed, keeping her tone soft so as not to make him back away from her. They’d been making good progress, but she realized she had to be careful or he’d retreat back into his shell. When his gaze met hers, she continued, “I know her, and she’s nice. You have nothing to worry about.”
Despite the flicker of uncertainty in his expression, he nodded. “All right.”
“Wait,” she called out as he took a step away from her. He turned to look at her, and she added, “Smile.”
He did, but unlike the relaxed smile he’d given her at her townhouse, he appeared to be in pain. Oh dear. Maybe he wasn’t ready for this evening’s ball. This was taking more effort on his part than she expected. But he was here, so they might as well go through with it. Besides, going back home wouldn’t do him any favors. He’d never improve that way.
“Try smiling without showing your teeth,” she finally told him.
He closed his mouth and smiled again.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was better. “Are you thinking of that day with your brother?”
“I’m trying to, but it’s hard.”
That explained why he was having such difficulty. “You’re doing fine, Your Grace. I’ll be waiting for you when you’re done. Then you can tell me how things went.”
He turned from her and headed for Chloe. Helena took the opportunity to scan the room to see how her other protégés were doing. Miss Jasper was laughing at something her dance partner said, and from the way he was smiling, she suspected he just might be the one who’d be asking to visit her in the near future. Then she caught sight of Miss Clarkson who was also dancing with a gentleman. Though she was obviously nervous, she was doing well. She replied to what her partner said, and he seemed to be enjoying their conversation, which was even better.
As she suspected, this evening would be more about Camden. Turning her attention back to him, she watched as he danced with Chloe. Chloe had always been eager to please others, and in this case, she was no different. She was smiling and talking to Camden as if she’d known him her entire life. Good. Hopefully, her openness would put him at ease.
“You’re not going to get very far by having him dance with ladies who are already married,” someone said.
Surprised, she turned her head in Lord Toplyn’s direction. Then she recalled the absurd wager Camden said Lord Toplyn was making at White’s. “You refused to help him, so I am.”
“But you’re not doing a very good job. At least I had him dance with an available lady at Lord Edon’s ball.”
“Care to take over?”
“I would if I thought he had a chance of getting a wife,” he paused, “and I don’t mean someone else’s. He can’t marry Lady Hawkins.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“I know your reputation says you do, but he,” he gestured to Camden, “can’t do it. Not by the end of the month.”
She shook her head. “I feel sorry for you.”
“You feel sorry for me?”
“Yes. You have such a simple mind.”
The music ended, and she curtsied. Without another word, she went to another area of the room. The last thing Camden needed was to run into Lord Toplyn. No wonder Camden had such a rough time of it at Lord Edon’s ball. Lord Toplyn must have filled his head with all kinds of doubts.
When Camden glanced her way, she pointed to another side of the room. She reached the place she’d selected first and scanned the room, relieved to see Lord Toplyn had chosen to bother someone else. That particular gentleman could be such a nuisance.
When Camden reached her, she asked, “How did things go with Lady Hawkins?”
“Very well,” he replied, brushing aside the errant strands of his blond hair that fell over his eyes. “Lady Hawkins is very nice.”
“I know. She’s a good friend.”
“She is?”
“Yes, but I didn’t want you to know that until after you danced with her. I knew she’d help ease you into this. Do you feel up to asking an available lady to dance now?”
“More so than before, but I’m still nervous,” he admitted.
“There’s nothing wrong with being nervous. Everyone is nervous at one time or another.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “Some just hide it better.” She studied the ladies in the room. Had Lord Toplyn not distracted her, she would have chosen one already.
“I don’t know,” Camden said. “Some people love being around others. They thrive off of it.”
“Yes, that’s true.” She couldn’t argue that point. “But even so, there is a point where they will feel nervous. As an example, everyone feels nervous when they’re around someone they just fell in love with. It’s a normal reaction.”
“I haven’t been in love before, so I wouldn’t know what that’s like.”
Her gaze went to Miss Landry. Now there was a lady who might go well with Camden. Helena hadn’t had much interaction with her, but she seemed to be nice and considerate.
“Have you?” Camden asked.
Helena looked at him. “Have I what?”
“Been in love.”
What an awkward question. She couldn’t tell him what happened between her and her husband. It wouldn’t be right to her husband’s memory.
Opting to change the topic, she gestured to Miss Landry. “Your Grace, I want you to ask her to dance. I’ve heard she’s a gracious young lady in her second Season. Just do what you did with Lady Hawkins, and you’ll do fine.”
“But I asked…”
He studied her face for a moment, and she held her breath. After a tense moment, his expression changed from that of an inquisitive nature to acceptance.
“All right,” he replied then left her side.
She exhaled, glad he hadn’t pressed her for more information. Why was it so easy to pretend she had the perfect marriage with everyone but him? Yes, she’d opened herself to Chloe, let her know her marriage hadn’t been what it’d seemed. But she chose to do it because Chloe wouldn’t tell anyone else and Chloe needed to know she wasn’t alone. Camden, however, was a different story. And that was something that made her very nervous. Perhaps if he hadn’t been innocent in so many ways, she could have lied to him.
Forcing her attention back to the matter at hand, she watched as he approached Miss Landry. He offered her a smile, keeping his lips closed, which was to his benefit since he looked more relaxed that way. Then he opened his mouth and spoke to her. Good. He was doing well. He didn’t stumble on his words. The question came out smoothly.
Helena clenched her hands together and waited for Miss Landry to respond. When Miss Landry replied, he held his hand out to her, and she accepted it. Good! He did it. He got an available lady to dance with him, and he did it all on his own. Feeling triumphant, she glanced around the room, wondering where that annoying Lord Toplyn was. Unfortunately, she didn’t see him anywhere. Well, it didn’t matter. Camden would marry soon enough. She could gloat then.
“My dear friend, if I wasn’t married, I would agree to be his duchess tonight.”
Helena turned and smiled at Chloe. “You see how charming he is, too, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. And he has such kind eyes. I love a gentleman’s eyes. They say so much of what’s in his heart.”
“Would you believe he doubts himself?”
“Sadly, I would. All he did was ask me questions. He didn’t once say anything about himself.”
“I’m afraid he got that piece of advice from me. Since he’s shy, I told him to ask questions. That way he doesn’t have to talk much.”
“It’s a good piece of advice, and it works remarkably well. I told him more about my life than I’ve told any of the other gentlemen I’ve danced with.”
“Hopefully, he’ll gain enough confidence to start telling ladies more about who he is.”
“You know how shy I was when I first came to you fo
r my lessons,” Chloe said.
“You came a long way.” Funny how Helena didn’t think about it, but Chloe had been a lot like Camden when she first met her. “I forgot how you were back then.”
“Imagine what he’ll be like a year from now.”
“I doubt I’ll see him a year from now. He’s only here to get a wife, and once he does, he plans to go back to the country where he’ll stay.”
“If he gets a wife who’s as encouraging as you, then she’ll bring out the best in him.”
“Any idea who such a lady might be?” Helena asked as her gaze swept the room.
“If you were looking for a husband, I’d say you would be ideal.”
Helena glanced at her friend who giggled.
“I couldn’t help it,” Chloe said. “I know you’re not looking for a husband. You’re happy with things the way they are.”
“Well, there are some gentlemen who don’t believe I can get him a wife before the end of the month.”
“But you’ve never failed to get someone married before.”
“And despite knowing that, they still made a wager saying I can’t get His Grace married.”
Chloe shook her head. “Just wait until you do. The looks on their faces will be hilarious.”
“I’ll be sure to be obnoxiously smug about it when I see them,” Helena vowed, thinking specifically of Lord Toplyn.
“One thing I like about you is that you’re not afraid to let others know what you’re thinking. I wish I had that kind of courage.”
“It’s just a matter of doing it. After a while, you stop caring what others think of you, and it gets easier.”
Chloe paused for a moment but then asked, “Do you ever feel some apprehension when telling the truth when you know it’s not something others want to hear?”
“If I care about them, yes.” Helena examined her friend. “Why do you ask?”
“Just curious.” Before she could ask her for more information, Chloe gestured to two ladies who weren’t too far from them. “Maybe you should have His Grace dance with Miss Barrow. She’s in her first Season, and I hear she prefers quiet gentlemen.”
Love Lessons with the Duke Page 7