“I wouldn’t mind it if a lady pursued me for once,” he commented.
Recalling how frantic he’d been yesterday after he saw Miss Beacham, Helena shot him a pointed look. “You wouldn’t?”
His face turned red, and he cleared his throat. “I meant, I wouldn’t mind it if she told me she enjoyed my company. I wouldn’t want her to do more than that.”
“Well,” Chloe began as she adjusted her gloves, “I don’t remember Lord Reddington. There were so many gentlemen I met last Season that most are a blur.”
“That’s understandable,” Helena assured her. “And several were interested in you.” She let out a long sigh. Perhaps if she’d married one of the others, even Lord Reddington, she might be happier now. But at the time, how was she supposed to know Lord Hawkins was going to run off and leave her all alone?
“There’s nothing to be done about it now,” Chloe said. “I’m not going to take a lover.”
“No one is saying you have to,” Helena replied.
Fortunately, the carriage came to a stop, relieving Helena of having to think of something she might say to comfort Chloe without being obvious about it in front of Camden. Had she been alone with Chloe, she would have apologized for pushing her into accepting the first proposal she received that her father wanted. But she was sure Chloe didn’t want Camden to know the details, not when they hardly knew each other.
The three left the carriage in silence, and as they walked up the stairs, Helena realized Camden had fallen behind. Surprised, she turned around. He was really taking this thing with Miss Beacham seriously. She knew he was worried, but it didn’t occur to her that he might possibly faint because of it. The poor man was as pale as a ghost.
“Chloe,” she told her friend, “go on in without me. Once Camden finds a lady to dance with, I’ll be able to talk to you.”
Chloe nodded and continued up the stairs.
Helena waited for Camden to catch up to her and gestured to the entrance. “The longer you take to get in there, the harder it’ll be.”
“I don’t know.” His gaze went from the entrance to her, and she caught a mixture of uncertainty and dread in his eyes. “I should go home.”
“But you need a wife,” she reminded him, careful to use a soft tone in her voice.
His eyes met hers then, and she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. This was more difficult for him than she realized. It made her want to wrap her arms around him and protect him from all the ills of the world, which was ironic since usually it was the gentleman who protected the lady. But he knew so little of the world. And while she envied his innocence, he had to come to the reality of the world sooner or later.
“I’ll be with you,” she assured him. “You don’t have to go in there alone.”
He opened his mouth, and she waited for his response, but then his shoulders sagged and he trudged up the rest of the stairs. She scanned the others as they passed her, all in a festive mood, seeming to be carefree.
It was possible, she supposed. Miss Beacham or her parents might try something. But it was a small possibility. She knew the Beacham family well enough to know the chances they would cry scandal were slim.
Someone nearly bumped into her, apologized, then continued on by. Taking a deep breath, she resumed her walk up the steps. She had clients who got married because of a scandal, so it wasn’t unusual. But poor Camden might not be able to take such a thing as calmly as the ladies did…and not all ladies were thrilled with getting caught in a scandal.
Releasing her breath, she entered the ballroom. She glanced around. Where was Camden? He couldn’t possibly be dancing already. Not without her prompting. Even yesterday, he required some prompting, and this was after he felt more comfortable with the process. She went further into the room, but still, she couldn’t find him anywhere.
“Helena.”
The initial shock of hearing her name, spoken so informally in a public place, made her come to a stop. She turned around and jerked back, unaware that Camden had come up right behind her. “What are you-”
But he didn’t let her finish her question because, in the next instant, his lips were on hers, and they stayed there for the longest time.
Chapter Eighteen
As soon as they entered the drawing room of her townhouse, Helena instructed the butler to shut the doors. Camden wasn’t surprised. But he didn’t think she’d pour a glass of sherry then drink it all in one gulp. Unsure of what to do, he stood by one of the chairs, thinking it best if he kept his distance.
Helena slammed her glass on the desk then faced him. “What were you thinking?”
Camden shifted from one foot to another. “Um, well, I…” His face warming under the intensity of her gaze, he forced out, “I was afraid Miss Beacham would cry scandal, and quite frankly, I’d rather marry you than her.” He cleared his throat. “A kiss seemed to be the easiest way to do it.”
“I told you not to worry about her.”
“I know, but you didn’t tell me her family is well known for creating scandals.”
“What? No, they’re not. Where did you get such a ridiculous idea?”
“From Mr. Robinson.”
“Mr. Robinson?” She stared at him for a moment then understanding lit up his eyes. “Mr. Robinson? Lord Edon’s friend? The same gentleman who is rumored to have had a hand in the scandal that forced his cousin, Lord Clement, into marriage?”
Camden couldn’t be sure about the second part of her statement, so he said, “He is Lord Edon’s friend.”
“Oh for heaven’s sakes! You can’t trust Mr. Robinson. He causes nothing but trouble everywhere he goes.”
“He does?”
“Yes. And what’s more, he enjoys it. He gave Lord Clement a lot of grief when he was his ward. I think the happiest day of Lord Clement’s life was when Mr. Robinson got married. Lord Clement spent all his time repairing the damage he did up to then.”
“I didn’t know about that,” he softly replied.
No one at White’s mentioned it, and he’d done a lot of listening to gentlemen as they talked. Whenever he stuck to the side of the room, he caught a lot of what was going on. How this passed his attention was upsetting.
Helena shook her head, her eyebrows furrowed. “You should have believed me. I wouldn’t have told you to visit Miss Beacham if her family was known for scandalous activities.”
“I assumed Mr. Robinson was more familiar with the family than you were.”
She gasped then glared at him. “It’s so typical of you gentlemen to take the word of another gentleman over a lady’s.” She turned away from him, arms crossed. “All you gentlemen think you’re so much more intelligent, but you’re not. The lot of you make lives more difficult than they need to be.”
“I’m sorry,” Camden replied, knowing how weak it sounded even as he said it. “I should have listened to you. You’re right.”
“Your apology comes too late. The damage is done.”
“I know.”
“And there’s no way I can get us both out of this. Didn’t that occur to you when you did it?”
“Well…” Of course, it did. That was exactly why he did it. But saying that would only get him into more trouble, so he shut his mouth.
“This is what I get for agreeing to help a gentleman,” she muttered as she turned back to him. “I should have kept to my policy of only teaching ladies. Curse me and my weakness.”
He tapped the edge of the chair and finally said, “It was kind of you to help me. I do appreciate it.”
Despite what he hoped, she wasn’t at all pleased by this since she scowled at him. “I don’t like being tricked into something.”
He winced.
“I can’t get out of marrying you,” she mumbled then poured another glass of sherry. “I hope you’re happy. You could have been with ladies far wealthier than I. My money won’t bring you nearly as much as what they could have.” She paused then asked, “Just how much do you owe these gent
lemen?”
“With interest up to the end of the month, it’s forty-two thousand three hundred and eighty-nine pounds.”
Her jaw dropped, and after a moment, she drank the sherry before pouring herself another glass. She glanced back at him then drank it again.
“Um,” he began when she was pouring yet another glass, “are you sure it’s a good idea to be drinking all that?”
“If I don’t, I’m likely to throw this glass at your head.” She downed another glass. He thought she was going to drink another glass, but she put it on the desk and looked at him. “How did you let it get out of control?”
“I didn’t. I-I tried to get all the money I needed last year, and I would have had enough if…well…” She wasn’t going to like this at all, but what else could he do? It wouldn’t help matters if he lied now. “If the wager between Davenport and Pennella hadn’t been exposed, I would have had the money I needed to pay my brother’s debts. Since I didn’t, the twenty percent interest made it so that I have no choice but to marry into money.”
She shook her head. “Do you have any idea how much I actually have?”
“Well, no.”
“After I pay off your brother’s debts, I’ll only have five thousand pounds left. That’s not a lot. If you’d gone with Miss Beacham or Miss Richie, you would have been much better off.” She let out a resigned sigh. “You could have done a lot better than me, and now you’re stuck. You’re going to regret it.”
He didn’t think he would, but he’d already caused her enough grief for one night, so he wasn’t going to argue with her.
“You need the money by the end of the month,” she said. “In that case, we’ll do a special license. I was going to suggest either that or Gretna Green when you picked the lady you were going to marry. But I have too much to do in London. I can’t afford to go to Gretna Green,” she paused, “especially since I need to get paid for my work.”
“I understand. We’ll get married with a special license.”
“I hope you also understand I will be coming to London every Season,” she added, an underlying defensiveness in her tone that surprised him. “I’m not going to quit doing something I love just because you went into a panic over some nonsense Mr. Robinson told you. I don’t care if I’m going to be your wife. I will still help ladies get married. It’s something I enjoy, and I’m not giving it up for anyone. You won’t be telling me what I can or can’t do.”
“I won’t ever forbid you from doing what you want.”
He could tell by the way her eyebrows furrowed that she didn’t believe him, and he didn’t know how he could make her. She groaned and rubbed her eyes. He shifted from one foot to the other. What was he supposed to do? Should he go over to her and hold her? No. Right now, the last thing he should do was touch her. He was sure she wanted him to stay as far away from her as possible. He’d just changed her future for the worse. If he’d been her, he wouldn’t have wanted to be around him either.
“I’ll let you come here every Season and teach whoever you want,” he spoke up.
“What if another gentleman comes to me seeking my help?”
“You can teach him.”
“And if he wants me to kiss him so he knows he’ll be adequate when it comes to kissing the lady of his choice?”
He hesitated to respond. He wondered how many other gentlemen would request she kiss them so they knew what to do. Other gentlemen seemed confident. He couldn’t think of a single one who wasn’t secure in his ability to find a wife.
Finally, after what seemed like a few minutes but was probably only one, he answered her. “I didn’t ask you to teach me how to kiss because I was trying to be more personal than I ought to be. I didn’t assume there was more to the kiss than what it was.” But he couldn’t come out and tell her that her kissing another gentleman wouldn’t bother him, so he ventured, “I know you take your job seriously. You act honorably at all times. I have no doubt you would treat him with the same level of respectability that you did with me.”
The hard look on her face eased and she nodded. “I do take my work seriously, and I can separate my feelings from what I do.”
“I know you can.”
Besides, if she wanted to take a lover, there was nothing he could do to stop her. He might be naïve in some respects, but he wasn’t so innocent that he didn’t know husbands often took mistresses and wives took lovers. He’d forced Helena into something she didn’t want. If she decided to seek the affection of another gentleman, then it was her right.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and lowered his gaze to the floor. He hadn’t considered that possibility, and to be honest, he didn’t want to consider it. It was easier to focus on paying the four gentlemen. That was his immediate concern. Anything else that came from his decision to deceive her would be what he deserved, and he’d quietly accept the consequences.
“I won’t do anything to hinder what you want,” he told her. “I promise.”
She rubbed her forehead and let out a long sigh. “Too much has happened this evening. I need some time to think it all through. You’ll have to get the special license. I still have clients to tend to. As it was, I had to leave them at the ball after you kissed me.”
He hadn’t expected her to run out of the room the way she had. When he stopped kissing her, she stared at him for the longest moment. Granted, she wasn’t the only one staring. Others were, too, but it was easier to ignore them. She was the one he hurt, after all.
He thought she might yell at him or try to get out of marrying him. But she didn’t do any of that. She simply stared at him, her face pale, then ran out of the room. He followed her, hardly noting the snickers behind him. He made it to the carriage just as she sat in it and pleaded with her to let him come with her, to try to make things better.
She agreed, but only on the condition he didn’t say anything until she was ready to talk. Her emotions were so controlled it was hard to detect what she was feeling. But once they were in her townhouse, it became clear she was angry by the way she stormed up the steps and threw the door open. He was surprised the door didn’t fly right off its hinges with the force she used.
And now, as he watched her in the drawing room, standing as still as a statue, she had once again resumed her carefully controlled composure. He wasn’t sure if that was good or not. At least when she was angry, she was speaking. Then he knew what she was thinking. But he wasn’t going to push her. He’d asked too much of her already.
“I’ll get the special license,” he finally said. Since she didn’t bother looking in his direction and he couldn’t think of anything else to say, he added, “Good evening, Helena.”
She didn’t look at him. Her attention was drawn to the wall in front of her. Taking that as his cue, he offered an awkward bow. The evening had been a disaster. But he knew it’d be.
After he left Helena’s townhouse, he turned to head down the sidewalk that would take him home when he noticed a familiar figure heading his way. Toplyn. Of all people, Toplyn was the last one he wanted to talk to, especially since Toplyn looked as if he wanted to challenge him to a duel.
Camden was ready to turn around and head the other way but stopped. Why was he running from Toplyn? Because the gentleman had a way of intimidating him? Almost everyone intimidated him. And it was because he let them. Well, he was tired of it. He was especially tired of Toplyn. So Camden waited as he approached.
“You mind explaining what you did at Lord Roderick’s ball?” Toplyn demanded.
“I don’t have to explain anything to you,” Camden replied.
“I had all my money on that bet, and because of you, I just lost it.”
Irritated, Camden glowered at him. “I didn’t tell you to bet everything you had on whether or not I’d get married.”
“What am I supposed to do? I lost everything!”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Your problem isn’t my fault. It’s yours. If you hadn’t been such a fool, you
wouldn’t be in this situation right now.” He pushed Toplyn aside so he could walk around him.
Thankfully, Toplyn didn’t follow. Camden feared he might, but he remained where he was. Good. Now maybe Toplyn wouldn’t bother him in the future. At least, one could only hope.
Chapter Nineteen
“Why did you run out of the ball after the kiss?” Chloe asked Helena the next day as they sipped some tea in Helena’s drawing room.
Helena took another sip from her cup then shook her head. “I don’t know. I think it was shock. Camden did it so unexpectedly.”
“Are you still in shock?”
“Part of me is.” And another part of her was actually glad, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit it. It was wrong. She should be angry. She had every right to be. He had deceived her, after all. If she knew he was going to kiss her like that—right in front of everyone—she would have stopped him. She placed the cup on the tray and turned to her friend, who sat next to her on the settee. “You and I both know marriage isn’t as romantic as it seems when you’re young and naïve.”
Chloe offered her a sympathetic smile. “We’re not old, Helena. We have many years ahead of us.”
“Yes, but we aren’t naïve.”
After a moment, she said, “I wouldn’t mind being naïve again. I was happier before I realized that marriage wasn’t going to be like the kind my parents have.”
“Your parents have a good marriage?”
“Yes. It’s not so much in what they say to each other but in what they do to support the other.”
Helena wouldn’t have suspected it from the brief conversations she’d had with Chloe’s parents, but she also knew how deceptive appearances were. People thought she and her husband had shared an ideal marriage, one rare enough to have a deep abiding love between them simply because they’d been friends while growing up. But really, marriage had been the very thing that ruined that friendship because marriage forced them to be more. And such a thing was never meant to be.
Love Lessons with the Duke Page 15