“I know we don’t need to have this conversation,” he spoke, his tone soft. “But I want to. Helena, the truth is, there’s no one else I’d rather have as my wife.”
She turned her gaze to him, chancing the eye contact she’d been avoiding up to now. And in his eyes, she saw something she’d never seen in her first husband’s. A concern for her that came before his own wants and needs.
“I did want to come to your bed last night,” he whispered. “But I didn’t think you wanted me there.”
“I kissed you yesterday.”
“Yes, and it made me very happy. It gave me hope that, in time, you would come to love me the way I love you. I was afraid since I tricked you into marriage, you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. I thought it best if I took things slowly and wait for you to be ready.” He cupped her face in his hands. “I might not be someone you were hoping to marry, but I love you, and someday I’d like for you to return my feelings.”
“I already do,” she admitted, even as a part of her was afraid to say it aloud.
With a smile, he kissed her, and it was wonderful. So very wonderful, in fact, she never wanted it to end. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. She didn’t know who parted their lips first, but soon his tongue was brushing hers, sending chills of delight racing up and down her spine.
And to her surprise, he didn’t end the kiss. Instead, he continued his intimate exploration of her mouth as if he couldn’t get enough of her. Her first husband had never kissed her this way. It was a wonderfully intoxicating experience.
She brought her hands to his waistcoat and unbuttoned it. He seemed to understand her silent invitation, for he brought his hands up to her breasts and cupped them in his hands, his thumbs hovering over her nipples before he caressed them. She shivered.
Ending the kiss, he looked at her, his eyebrows furrowed. “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” she assured him as she slipped the waistcoat off his shoulders. To further encourage him, she covered his hands and encouraged him to brush her nipples again. “It feels good.”
With a low groan, he proceeded to kiss her again, his tongue, once more, interlacing with hers. This time when he caressed her breasts, he wasn’t shy about it, so she brought her hands to his shirt and proceeded to unfasten the buttons.
When she had completed her task, his mouth left hers and left a trail of kisses down her neck before he turned his attention to the skin just above the neckline of her dress. His kisses were so light, they teased her.
She bit her lower lip, wondering if he’d go even lower and kiss her breasts. The fabric in her dress would yield if he desired. He lowered his head, his mouth brushing her cleavage. She had no idea a kiss could be so sensual, that the fact that she still had her dress on while he began making love to her could make her that much more anxious for him.
He lowered the neckline, exposing an entire breast. He kissed the entire area, and when his mouth finally covered her nipple, she groaned in pleasure. It felt much better than she thought it’d be. Her entire skin warmed, and the thrill that started at her breast went straight to her core, making her anxious to do more.
She’d never done anything as exciting as this with her first husband. With him, everything had been confined to the bedchamber, and while she supposed there was nothing wrong with that, she had to admit there was a certain thrill to being this spontaneous. Honestly, she didn’t think Camden had this side to him, but he not only let her remove his clothes but helped her out of hers.
And before she knew it, she shoved the journal aside so he could help her onto the desk. She thought he was going to enter her right away. She was so caught up in the thrill of the moment, she would have welcomed him. But he ran his hands down her legs then knelt before her. He left a trail of kisses on the inside of her thighs, taking his time to tease her, before he brought his attention to her sensitive nub.
She hadn’t expected him to do that. She had no idea a gentleman might put his mouth there, but she had to admit it felt incredible. And it was even more so when he slid a finger into her. With a low moan, she spread her legs further and leaned back on the desk, tilting her head back and closing her eyes so she could enjoy this more fully.
He took his time stroking her core, first using one finger then sliding in another. Soon, he established a rhythm that made her core ache. She wasn’t a stranger to orgasms. Yes, she’d had those with her first husband, but the build up seemed more intense this time.
She couldn’t help but voice her pleasure, her hips slowly rocking to take him deeper inside. The whole time, his tongue continued teasing her sensitive nub, which only made her moans that much louder. She bit on her lower lip to stop crying out too much. There was no sense in letting anyone know what they were doing in this room.
When she finally climaxed, she let out a soft cry and stilled her movements, aware her flesh clenched around his fingers. Just as she expected, this was much better than any other times she’d received pleasure during lovemaking.
“Where did you learn to do that?” she asked through her raspy breathing as he stood in front of her, looking wonderfully wicked between her legs.
“Not from experience,” he replied, seeming pleased by her question.
Cupping her behind, he pulled her against his arousal, and her core clenched in anticipation. He leaned over and kissed her. Soon, his tongue was sparring with hers. His mounting passion urged her to wrap her legs around his waist and pull him toward her.
His penis dipped into her, hinting at what he’d soon be doing. At first she thought he was teasing her, but there was a hesitation in his movement, the same kind that her first husband had had on their wedding night. There was no doubt she was the first lady Camden had ever made love to. And better yet, she knew he wouldn’t be taking a mistress. He was hers. All hers. Now and forever.
With her legs, she brought him closer, and this time he slid all the way in. His mouth left hers, and he gasped in pleasure.
“Make me yours, Camden,” she whispered.
From there, the uncertainty he’d had departed, and he began to make love to her in earnest. She lost all awareness of everything around them. In this moment, it was just the two of them. So this was what it was like to be made love to by a gentleman who desired her. It made her feel weak and powerful all at once, a contradiction to be sure, but a lovely one.
Before long, he stilled, his body shuddering as his seed spilled into her. After several moments passed, he collapsed, and she held him in her arms, satisfied in more ways than one.
He brought his mouth back to hers and gave her a lingering kiss, his tongue brushing hers, soft and gentle, much like the first one he’d given her.
“I should have waited until this evening when we were in bed,” he whispered.
“No, I’m glad you didn’t. It meant you wanted me so much you couldn’t wait.”
He chuckled. “Well, that is true.”
Cupping his face in her hands, she kissed him again. “I hope it’ll always be this way. I don’t want you to ever get tired of being with me.”
“That’ll never happen,” he whispered then returned her kiss.
And soon, he was making love to her again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The next morning, Camden lingered in bed with Helena longer than he was supposed to. But he was having trouble leaving her. Yesterday and today were the best days of his life, even better than the days his brother used to come home. With Helena, he had someone who completed him. She accepted him the way he was, and, better yet, she loved him.
At the moment, she was snuggled up against him, feeling wonderful in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and tightened his hold on her.
“I wish I didn’t have to leave this bed,” he murmured, this time giving her a kiss on her forehead.
She giggled. “Well, we could stay in bed until this evening, but I’m sure you’re anxious to get the debts settled.”
She
was right. He was. He’d already told the gentlemen he’d meet them at the bank that afternoon to resolve all the accounts. The sooner he did it, the sooner he could put his brother’s past to rest.
“I know it’s because of the debts that I’m with you,” he whispered, caressing her back in circular motions, “but I wish you could’ve met my brother. He was a good person. I know he didn’t make the best decisions once he got used to drinking brandy all the time. There came a time when he couldn’t control how much he drank. The alcohol changed him.”
His voice drifted off as he recalled the way his brother had shut himself off from the rest of the world. He spent most of his time in London, and later on, Camden realized he was gambling away all the money in the estate.
Clearing his throat, Camden continued, “He made bad decisions. I don’t know the details. I only know he got to the point where he saw no other way out than to end his life.”
Helena lifted her head, her eyes meeting his. “That’s awful.”
“I assumed his life was perfect. He had a gift with people. Everyone liked him. He excelled in his studies. He seemed so confident whenever I spent time with him. He never once said anything about the pressures he faced in London.” He tucked an errant strand of her blonde hair behind her ear and sighed. “I had no idea he was miserable until I read the letter he left behind.”
She blinked back her tears. “Many people in London are crying on the inside. You just don’t hear about it because they learn to mask the pain with a smile.”
She was probably right. He just hadn’t been in London enough to know this. “That’s a shame.”
“It makes you appreciate the country that much more, doesn’t it?”
“Actually, I’ve learned it’s not where I am that matters. It’s who I’m with.” He brushed her check and smiled. “I miss my brother. Some days are better than others. I’ve come to terms with things the way they happened. But there are times when I wished I had known what he was going through. He was so afraid of disappointing me, he didn’t tell me.”
“It’s not easy admitting we’re not as strong as people think we are.”
“I hope you’ll come to me if something bothers you. You don’t have to pretend to be feeling something you’re not so you won’t disappoint me. Whatever is going on, I want to know.”
She took his hand in hers and squeezed it. “I know I can be who I really am with you.”
“Does that mean you’re going to tell me about your first husband?” He noted the slight grimace that crossed her face and chuckled. “I already gathered it didn’t go very well, but I want to know everything about you, even the parts that aren’t that pleasant.”
“We have a lifetime to learn all there is to know about each other.”
With a sigh, he rolled onto his side so he could get a better look at her. She had a tendency to keep so much of her feelings private. And while he could honor that, he hoped she wouldn’t close herself off to him like his brother had.
“Will you give me a glimpse of your past?” he encouraged. “Then when you’re ready, you can tell me more?”
“There’s not much to tell. Benjamin and I grew up together. Our parents arranged the marriage.” She shrugged, looking at the ceiling. “I loved him. He loved his mistress. Then he died. To be honest, I wasn’t all that sorry he was gone.” She returned her gaze to his. “Does that make me a bad person?”
“No. Just honest.” After a moment to carefully consider his words, he added, “I won’t ever take a mistress, Helena. You’re the only one I want.”
“I know. Things between us are a lot different than they were between my first husband and me.”
He waited for her to explain how, but she only pulled him closer to her for a kiss. In time, she’d tell him more about her first marriage, and he’d tell her more about his father and brother. But for now, they needed to focus on each other and build the foundation that would see them through the years to come. They could worry about the rest of the world later.
***
“Your son is adorable, Regina,” Helena told her friend as she held the baby.
A week and a half had passed, and she had delayed stopping by so Regina could have sufficient time to recover after giving birth. Now, as she glanced at Regina, who was sipping tea in the drawing room, she couldn’t help but think Regina was one of her happier clients. Some marriages, like Chloe’s, didn’t fare so well. But Regina had been one of the fortunate ones. By the glow on her face, there was no denying that her husband was good to her.
With a glance at Chloe, Helena’s smile faltered. Chloe was gracious about coming here and congratulating Regina on the birth of her child. But Helena knew it had to hurt Chloe to watch one lady get what she would never have. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked if Chloe wanted to join her today.
But even if Chloe’s marriage wasn’t something to envy, there was a good chance she’d conceive when her husband was due to return from India in two months. Perhaps the hope of having a child would soothe her heartache.
“Would you like to hold Samuel?” Helena asked Chloe.
“He’s so small,” Chloe replied, a hesitant chuckle rising up in her throat. “I don’t want to drop him.”
“Oh, you won’t drop him,” Helena assured her. “Besides, this will be good practice. You could have a baby of your own next year.”
“Well…”
“There’s nothing to it,” Regina assured her. “Just hold out your arms and keep him there.”
“It sounds easy enough.” Chloe held out her arms and took the sleeping child. She cuddled the baby to her breasts and smiled. “He is sweet. Quiet, too.”
Helena chuckled. “He’s just as well behaved as your mother claimed, Regina.”
“I wish,” Regina said and set the cup down. “But she is his grandmother, so it’s not surprising she overlooks things that aren’t perfect about him.”
“Now I know you’re joking,” Helena replied with a playful grin. “Samuel is perfect.”
Regina shook her head in amusement then put her cup down. “He has perfect moments.”
“As do all babies.” Helena’s gaze went to Chloe who was smiling at the boy. “You’ll make a good mother.”
“You think so?” Chloe asked.
“Yes, I do.”
After a long moment of silence passed, Regina said, “Helena, I heard you married again.”
“Yes,” Helena replied, turning her attention back to their host. “Did you hear about the circumstances that led to the wedding?”
“I think it had something to do with a kiss? My mother mentioned it, but I try not to pay attention when she starts gossiping.”
“She was right. The duke I’ve been giving lessons to kissed me. He did it before I could stop him.”
“Is this turning out to be a good thing?”
Once again, Helena glanced at Chloe, who was tracing the baby’s cheeks and nose with her finger. Chloe didn’t seem to be paying attention to their conversation, but just in case, Helena decided not to reveal too much. The last thing she wanted to do was make her friend uncomfortable.
Her gaze went back to Regina. “It’s not as bad as I feared it’d be.” There. That was the most she’d say about it. It was up to Regina to read into her smile and figure out she was, indeed, happy.
The door to the drawing room opened, and Regina’s husband poked his head into the room. Amused, Helena made eye contact with Regina then nodded toward the door.
Regina glanced over her shoulder and giggled. “My mother isn’t here. You’re safe.”
He opened the door further and stepped into the room. “One can never be too careful.”
“They get along well enough,” Regina told Helena and Chloe, “but my mother still has trouble forgiving him for the wager he made with Lord Pennella. Though, she has been somewhat more forgiving ever since Samuel was born.”
“She might have completely forgiven me if I’d insisted our son be named Reginal,” Tob
y pointed out then gave her a kiss on the cheek.
Regina grimaced. “I’ll never name any of our sons Reginal.”
“I don’t think the name is that bad,” Chloe said.
“I wouldn’t either if my name wasn’t Regina.” Regina shook her head. “My mother’s main regret was that she wasn’t the daughter of a king.”
“I’m sure she bemoans it every night before she goes to sleep,” Toby added as he sat in the chair closest to her.
“I don’t think she bemoans it every night.”
“You’re right. I’m in error. It’s every other night.”
Helena laughed and rose to her feet. “Chloe and I just came by to visit Regina and see your darling son,” she told Toby. Turning to Regina, she added, “Thank you for a lovely time.”
“I’m glad you came,” Regina replied.
“There’s no need to get up for our sakes,” Helena told her when she started to stand. “We’ll see ourselves out.”
Chloe gingerly returned Samuel to his mother. “Congratulations, again.”
“Thank you,” Regina replied.
On their way to the entrance, Helena’s and Chloe’s steps slowed as they saw the footman open the door to let another visitor in.
Lord Reddington stopped as soon as his gaze went to Chloe. “My lady,” he said and bowed. Then, as if realizing Helena was also there, he offered her a bow as well. “Your Grace.”
The two curtsied. “My lord.”
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” he told Chloe.
Helena glanced from him to Chloe and back again. Though Chloe was oblivious to it, Helena knew a spark of interest when she saw it, but she suspected he had more than a mere spark of interest in her friend.
Love Lessons with the Duke Page 20