I saw the pain in her face as she struggled to hold back tears. I knew that feeling.
“I don’t know why I’m even telling you this. I’m probably not making any sense,” she said. She became quiet. Stared toward the blue water.
I opened my arms to her. She stood, walked around the table. I scooted my butt across the cushion until it was against the arm of the wicker chair making enough space for her to sit with me.
Pretty sure it wasn’t intentional, but Alexis tilted her hips, positioned the crack of her ass over my dick. I felt her thong. We faced the pool. I cuddled her in my arms. She leaned the back of her head onto my chest.
I wanted to fuck her. The intimate urges made me want to forget I’d sexed her mom. At the moment, honestly I didn’t give a damn. All that I’d done for Blake. I had no regrets. I was where Blake had forced me to be.
“Girls need their father. Boys need their mother,” Alexis said. She became quiet again. Picking up her drink, she started gulping.
“Hey, slow down,” I said, not wanting her to become sick. Not at my spot.
She handed the glass to me.
I wanted to know why she was hurting. Her pain had a similar intensity as mine. Deeply rooted from childhood. I tried storing my excruciating mental reels into the area of my brain responsible for losing memory, then erase it for good. Problem was, physical abuse could never be permanently erased. The little boy inside me cried for the little girl inside of her.
“You ever asked your mom where he’s at? I’m sure she knows.”
“If she knew, I shouldn’t have to ask. She likes to pretend he doesn’t exist,” Alexis said, sniffling.
Yeah, I could relate. That was how my dad had done when his brother penetrated me. He acted as if I didn’t exist.
Alexis started crying. “My birth certificate reads ‘father unknown.’ ”
Damn! That was fucked up. I became chilled for a moment.
“Is that why you’re here with me? To get back at your mom.” Getting caught up in a game of get-back was not my intent. If Alexis and I had a cutthroat agenda, Blake would have two knives to her back and not know it.
Alexis shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I mistreat James and Chanel. They’re good people. They’re good to me.”
“Who’s Chanel?” I asked as if I didn’t already have insight about their relay status.
“My girlfriend. She’s gorgeous. Nice. One of the sweetest persons I’ve dated.”
I wanted to ask, You have a pic? But I had to ask, “You love her?”
Alexis shook her head. Took the drink from me. Swallowed more alcohol, handed me back the glass.
“So why are you with her?” I took one swig, put it down.
“The same reason I’m with James. They take good care of me. I give them someone to love. Fair exchange. Everyone wants to be taken care of, right? Even Charlotte. Even you.”
I could argue who takes care of James and Chanel to take the spotlight off of myself. I could think what Alexis had said was horrible. But her truth was what I was in search of. Someone to take good care of me. Loving them wasn’t necessary.
“Have you ever tried to find your dad on your own?”
She shook her head. “I checked into it but it’s too expensive. I wouldn’t know where to start. That, plus, I know it’ll piss my mom off.”
Money didn’t appear her real concern. I wasn’t buying that a woman with her degree of treachery, with a master’s under her belt and nearly a doctorate, didn’t know how to locate a person. Alexis seemed afraid of rejection. From James, Chanel, her dad.
“And if your mom found out about our being here together. You don’t think that would make her angry?” I asked, fingering Alexis’s long, dark, wavy hair.
It smelled sweet like Charlotte’s. I had to apologize to my ex. I wasn’t going to bring Charlotte up with Alexis but the way I allowed Alexis to handle Charlotte wasn’t right. I should’ve protected Charlotte.
Charlotte was wrong for showing up unannounced. I was wrong for not shutting Alexis down. Blake was wrong for divulging my secret. Alexis was wrong for being in my arms. Two wrongs never ended right but I wasn’t ready to let Alexis go.
Aw, man. If I could get my dick sucked that way every day. I shook my head.
“What?” she asked.
Not sure if she was responding to my last question or inquiring about what I was thinking, I said, “Oh, nothing.”
“Hmm. If you say so. Right now, I honestly don’t care about my mother’s feelings.”
“Tell you what. I’ll pay for you to find your dad and I’ll help you. Whatever it costs, whatever it takes, I got you.”
Alexis sat up, faced me. She spoke fast. “You’re not just saying that. How can you be sure it’s not too much if you don’t know the cost?”
The only reason I told Alexis my story was because she’d opened up to me. I let her know how my dad beat my mother. How he’d beaten me. How my mother left him, started over, built a miniature empire, then killed herself. Maybe my mom felt like once she knew I was financially squared, she could get some rest.
I left out the part about my being molested. Not because I wasn’t going to share. This time I became angry. “I pray I never run into that son of a bitch. I’m a man now. I’ll beat his ass for all the times he hit my mother. She was nothing but good to him.”
Softly Alexis said, “Spencer, I’m so sorry. Listen at me yapping it up about my problems. Do you think everybody’s childhood is fucked up?”
I shook my head. There were people like my boy, LB, who had a great upbringing. His parents were still happily married. He was a cool dude. Seldom saw him get upset with customers that I would’ve refused to service.
“I do believe that if a person lives long enough their life is going to eventually be fucked up on some level. Relationships. Jobs. Finances. We either had ’em. Got ’em. Or we’re gonna get ’em.”
I didn’t want to go all the way in. I doubted Alexis had more integrity than Blake. But Alexis was transparent. I’d expect her to draw a weapon. Not Blake.
Alexis stood. I stood.
She strutted through my living room, went into the bedroom. I followed her.
Slowly, she bent over, stepped out of her gold thong. Stuffed it into my mouth. I pulled it out, stuffed it into hers. Staring into my eyes, she took small steps as she walked in circles around me. Three times. She flung her thong somewhere. I didn’t care where it landed. I wanted to keep it.
She stopped in front of me, unbuckled my pants, pulled my boxer briefs to my knees. Scanned me head to toe, grabbed my dick. Held it. I coughed for her. She gave me a closed-lip smile.
I was not a big-dick black man on her auction block. One thing Venus Domino taught me was, Son, always know your self-worth.
I held Alexis’s wrist, broke her grip, licked the inside of her palm. Curling my tongue to her index finger, I drew it deep into my mouth. She was definitely a different kind of lover. If Blake ever questioned me, I’d never blame my intentions on alcohol. This was some shit I wanted to experience.
She shoved me onto my bed, then straddled me.
Damn, she was stronger than I’d imagined.
I kept still while she undressed me from the waist down. She rose on all fours like a cheetah, leaned forward, swept my body with her hair, licked my face, then stared into my eyes. I still had on the red button-up I’d bought for Blake’s party. The vodka had me buzzin’. In a good way.
Alexis gripped the insides of my shirt, yanked in opposite directions. Buttons flew. I grabbed her halter dress. Ripped the lace down the middle. Her nails dug into my chest. Not enough to draw blood but it hurt so good I grunted from my gut.
“Shut the fuck up, bitch,” she demanded.
That was the second time she’d called me a bitch. I liked it. Biting my bottom lip, I flipped her onto her back, squeezed her breasts. Her eyes narrowed, lips parted. She exhaled. The pain and pleasure showed in her face as she took a de
ep breath, held it. Her eyes widened. Yeah, I’d met my match but I’d never admit it.
“Damn Domino,” she said, exhaling.
“Shut up, bitch,” I said, choking her with one hand. With feathery strokes, I played with her nipple.
Letting go of her throat, I smashed her titties together, twirled her nipples between my thumb and pointing finger. She let out a whimpering moan.
Narrowing my eyes, I stared into hers. Damn. She was so beautiful. Slowly I closed then opened my eyes.
My dick was flaccid. What the fuck, dude? Get up, nigga! Get up!
I stroked my shit. This was the pussy I’d fantasized about. Dreamt about. Spreading her thighs, I stiffened my tongue, flicked it in an upward position against her clit. Then I suctioned her clit. Taking more of her into my mouth, I swallowed the sweetest nectar I’d tasted. I sucked her engorged shaft like it was one of her fingers.
Gripping her hips, I pulled her to the edge, I got comfortable on my knees. My shit never stayed soft. This was a first. Getting up, I told her, “Sit on my face.” That way I could stroke my dick while she rode my face. This nigga was going to get hard.
I propped my head on a pillow. She straddled my face, put her pussy in my mouth. I sucked her clit for almost an hour. My mouth never tired. My dick never got hard. I decided to put my finger in her ass.
She started leaking into my mouth. I pushed my finger deeper into her rectum. More fluids flowed. This time into my ears. Shit felt eerie. Like I was underwater. If I stopped, I’d mess up her flow. I penetrated her asshole like I was fucking her until she . . . gushed in my mouth.
Damn, that shit turned me on. I had to block my airway to keep her juices from going down the wrong way. Alexis reached behind her, touched my dick. She got up, took off her torn dress, tossed it on the bed, put on my shirt.
That shit turned me on. Her breasts were partially exposed. Her heels were still on her feet.
I put on a pair of sweatpants, and followed her to the living room. She hadn’t turned around. When I saw her ass barely covered with my red shirt, my dick started rising. Opening the closet, she removed her purse. Held it by the straps. I pulled down my sweats, tugged on her purse. Dropping it to the floor, she turned around then bent over.
For the first time, I penetrated her real slow. Her pussy was wet and tight. I teased her clit. She leaned on the stove. I pressed my chest to her back, teased her clit as I continued grinding deep into her pussy.
A condom was necessary but not readily available. There was no way I was pulling out. Couldn’t take the chance that my manhood wouldn’t hang in there long enough for me to continue what I started. Didn’t want to lose this opportunity.
I howled like a wolf in heat in the middle of the night releasing what seemed to be all of the seeds left in my nuts. She waited a moment then pushed my dick out with her muscles. Semen dripped from her vagina onto my hardwood floor.
Alexis wiped herself with a paper towel, tossed it in the trash. My dick hung south but that motherfucka felt fantastic! I pulled up my sweats. She picked up her purse, closed my shirt, placed her hand on the knob, opened the door.
Damn! I did not expect to see my boy, LB.
His eyes went up and down Alexis’s body. Her thong was still somewhere in my apartment.
“I stopped by to check on you, man. You ain’t have that much to drink that you got my girl up in here. Why the hell she wearing your shirt, bruh?”
“Hey, LB. It’s not what you think. This is my shirt,” Alexis said. “Come with me.”
My boy gave my crotch the evil eye, then followed ole gurl. Whateva. I went to my bedroom, got in my bed, stroked my dick while replaying that last scene in my mind.
Should we pretend what just happened didn’t? Technically, we had sex. We didn’t make love. Okay, fuck it. We did it. I was not going to mess up a sexual high feeling guilty about what Blake could have prevented.
I turned off the light, buried the side of my face into the pillow, then slept like a baby.
CHAPTER 49
Blake
Last night with my family was epic.
That many relatives hadn’t been under the same roof at the same time since our mother’s funeral. And seeing Billy Blackstone. OMG!
I wasn’t sure if Mercedes found and invited him because she didn’t want me to date Spencer or what. All I knew was I was happy he was here! It was my party and Billy turned out to be the perfect present.
“Well, top of the morning indeed,” he said in his deep sultry voice. Gently, he fingered my hair away from my face. He rubbed his hand over my hair, then kissed me. “You are amazing. I want you to know I had no intentions of making love to you. I came to wish you a happy birthday, and to tell you something.”
Darkness made way for the sun beaming through my blinds. For the second day I woke up in my bed but last night I was not alone. I didn’t ask Billy if he wanted to make love again. I pulled back the sheets, climbed on top of my first love.
“Tell me later. We don’t have much time. We still have to be quiet though,” I told him. “I have no idea who stayed or who left.”
I felt like we were back in high school. His dick seemed bigger than I remembered. Felt better than I could recall. But he wasn’t better than Spencer. Grinding my hips I wondered if Spencer and Alexis had sex.
“Blake, you are just as beautiful as the day I first laid eyes on you. No, I take that back. You look better now.”
“Thanks,” I said, winding counterclockwise, then clockwise. I was excited!
His dick filled me up in many ways. Not the way Spencer’s did. There were no tears on the horizon for Billy. All smiles. I gathered my hair on top of my head, posed, then let it fall. His fingertip touched my neck, slid between my breasts, touched my navel, then teased my clit. “Are we going to see each other again?”
Billy had aged gracefully. His gray and black hair was cut low. I rubbed his head. Billy answered, “I don’t know. Maybe.”
I thought he’d ask me a follow-up question. When he didn’t, I told him, “Don’t let this be our last time. I hope this is the beginning of something special.” I looked into his eyes and smiled.
Billy smiled right back at me, then said, “Okay. I’ll let you take the lead.”
“Oh, no,” I said.
“Oh, yeah.” He thrust his erection deeper inside of me. “You’re good at taking charge.”
I knew he had options of seeing other people. This was Atlanta. We both did. What I didn’t know was what type of relationship he wanted with me, if any. Not wanting to come across desperate, I focused on climaxing.
“Damn, I’m cumming . . . again,” he said. His mouth opened. I placed my hand over his lips, muffled his grunting.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment. I came on his dick. My orgasm wasn’t explosive but it was pleasurable. If things didn’t work out with Spencer, Billy could be my backup.
Climbing off of him, I said, “We need to take a shower and get dressed.”
I went first. I was not getting sexy. I slipped on a black T-shirt, fitted black jeans, and flat black sandals with a one-inch heel. I waited for Billy. Watched him put on his tailored tan designer suit from last night.
“I don’t know who’s here but you’re welcome to stay for breakfast.”
He kissed me. Shook his head. “I already had breakfast and dinner and not in that order. Thanks. I wish I could stay but I have an early appointment with my attorney.”
I did not want him to leave thinking I would be the one pursuing him. I told him, “Call me later.” Later could be today, next week, or never. I told him the truth. “It was good reconnecting with you. Take care of yourself.”
Billy frowned. “You act like we’re never going to see each other again.”
“You decide,” I told him. “Oh, what did you want to tell me?”
“Not the right time. You’ll find out soon enough.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
He open
ed my bedroom door. The smell of bacon floating under my nose brought back memories of when I was a kid. I was shocked to see Mercedes passing by.
She stared at Billy. “I didn’t invite you as an overnight guest. Did you tell her?”
Billy shook his head. “I’ll let myself out.”
“Do that,” Mercedes said.
“No, Billy. Wait.” I went back into my room, picked up my cell, then escorted Billy to the front door. “Don’t worry about Mercedes. She’s being protective. What is that you wanted to tell me?”
He shook his head. “I’ll tell you when the time is right.”
I could not be bothered with the shenanigans. I watched Billy get into his car. Turning to get another whiff of the bacon, I bumped into Mercedes.
“Thank God all of my cousins have left. You embarrassed me, Mother. This is why you have a hard time finding a good man. You haven’t seen Billy in years and you opened your legs for him. No gratitude or loyalty to Spencer for being here with and for you.”
Mercedes didn’t have the details on my situation with Spencer. Billy was my first love and I didn’t see any harm in sleeping with him after my birthday party. “Spencer made his decision not to come back. I made mine. Let it go, Alexis.”
“I’m Mercedes,” she said, exiting my front door.
I’m the mother. She’s the child. I yelled out, “Wait until you turn fifty!”
I was as done with Mercedes as she was with me. To make sure she didn’t feel I was indebted to her, I’d write her a check for ten thousand. I went into the kitchen. My oldest sister greeted me. She was sixty.
“Morning, party girl. I saw Billy leaving,” she said teasingly. “Was he one of your presents?” She whispered, “Was it still as good as high school?”
“Morning, Ruby.” I wasn’t a little girl anymore. I nodded real slow. “You up early. I heard all of the kids left.”
“They claimed they had things to do.” Using a spatula, in one sweep she flipped the row of strips in the cast-iron skillet. I’d forgotten I had that skillet.
“Cooking for all of us brings back so many memories, Sis,” she said.
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