by Robin Laine
I assume she does, but I can’t be sure. The color stays the same, but no one takes a sample for testing.
Day 4…
I’ve been in this damn hospital for four days. Four days, and they still don’t know what is wrong with me! Poked, prodded, x-rayed, breathing treatments that don’t work. Fitful and restless sleep from constant beeping machines. I don’t have any energy, I don’t have any peace, I don’t have my son for more than an hour a day. I am thankful for the meds to a point. Pain is being managed, my fever has finally gone down, and I can sleep a few hours at a time. What I can’t handle are the nightmares and hallucinations.
I just want to go home, to my own bed, curl into a tiny ball, and sleep for a year. My mom just left with Tyler, and I can’t stop the tears that roll down my cheeks. My little bug doesn’t understand why mommy is not at home taking care of him. A lot of hugs and kisses were given, with him leaving me his favorite train to keep me company. I hold it tight in my fist as I cry.
“Knock, knock,” my day nurse walks in, smiling sweetly as she walks over to check my vital signs. “I heard a rumor Dr. Patel said you can go home tomorrow if you can keep solid foods down today.”
“He did. I’m waiting impatiently for that food to finally arrive. I can’t handle another day of only liquids.”
“Lunch will be served shortly. I’ll make sure your tray is brought in first.” She pats my arm when she’s done then turns to leave. No sooner has she walked out, Evan comes striding into the room.
“Hey, Sugar. How ya’ feeling?” He leans down to press a kiss to my forehead.
“I’m hungry and ready to go home. Feel like breaking a girl out of this dump?”
“You’re not leaving until the doc says you can. And stop pouting, it only makes you look adorable, not make me want to help you.”
He catches the pillow I toss at his head effortlessly. I scoot over to one side of the bed, patting the extra space for him sit beside me. “Being here sucks. Tyler is upset that I’m not home. He’s being shuffled back and forth between my mom and Mrs. Zwayer, and he hasn’t slept in his own bed this entire time. My baby needs me, Evan.”
“Your baby needs you to get better. He’ll be fine for a few more days. If it will make you feel better, I’ll pick him up on my way home and take him to my place. I have the next three days off so he won’t be shuffled anywhere.”
“You would really do that? He would love that so much. He loves you, Evan.”
He stretches out beside me, enveloping me in his arms, squeezing tight. “I’d do anything for you and that little guy, Sugar. I love you both.” Pressing my lips to his jaw, I thank him for his sweet gesture. My worry over Tyler lessening now I know he’ll get some stability over the next few days.
We’re interrupted when the nurse brings a tray of food to my room, real food, and I’m hungry enough to eat whatever they set in front of me. Just my luck, it happens to be a tuna fish sandwich. I love tuna as much as a mouse loves being chased by a cat. It doesn’t and I don’t. But like I said, starving. So, after Evan helps me sit up, I pick up that damn monstrosity and shove it in my mouth. I don’t know what it is. The fact that I haven’t had anything to eat in almost four days except for broth, or maybe the drugs they have me on changed how things taste, but I’m. In. Heaven. It’s the best damn thing I’ve ever eaten in my life. I polish that sandwich off in no time, then move on to the side salad that came with it, and finish off with the bowl of apple cobbler they supplied for dessert.
Day5…
Home. I’m going home. Check that, I’m going to Evan’s home. He insists that it is mine now, as well. I insist it’s only temporary. Either way, I get to leave this hell and sleep in a normal bed. I sit on the edge of the hospital bed with him, waiting for the nurse to bring in my discharge papers and a wheelchair.
“Just so you know, my home is now your home. I already loaded up my truck with your and Tyler’s clothes, and his bed and toys. Everything has already been put away. My mom came over last night and decorated Tyler’s room. Done. Deal. We can get the rest of your things when you’re feeling better.” I gape at him in shock. I don’t know if I should be appalled or thankful, but I’m leaning towards appalled.
“You have got to be kidding me! Evan, we haven’t even talked about living together, and you go move us in without a word until after you have done it? What if I didn’t want to live with you?”
“Are you saying you don’t?” His strong jaw is tight, eyes narrowed, mouth set, ready to argue.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. You should have asked me first, instead of springing this on me, that’s all.” Arms crossed over my breasts, I stare him down.
“You really are adorable when you try to argue,” he mutters on a soft laugh.
“You’re not adorable when you’re bossy,” I counter. “I love you, Evan, but you need to understand that you can’t make decisions for or about me. You need to talk to me, find out what I want. Then, we can make those decisions together.”
Evan drops his head, runs his hands through his hair, then lifts his eyes to me, “Look, Sugar, I get it and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just moved you in without talking to you first. I love you, too. I want you in my home. I want to take care of you and Tyler. Can you let me do that?”
“I can. Can you promise to communicate with me when you get hair brained ideas?”
“I can.” He tilts my head up with his thumb, angling my face towards his, as he leans in to give him easy access to my mouth, but I push him away with my hand to his chest.
“You can’t kiss me, I’m still sick!”
“Fine,” he stands from the bed to make like he’s leaving the room. “I guess I’ll just steer clear from you until you’re completely germ free. Should I go out and buy those white masks to wear? I guess we should sleep in separate rooms, too.”
I jump from the bed to grab his arm, stopping him, “Evan, if you leave this room, I swear to God you won’t even be allowed to kiss my, my, my pinky toe!”
He clutches at his chest as if I have just mortally wounded him, “No! Not the pinky toe! You can’t take that away from me.”
We both fall back onto the bed in a fit of laughter. I love this man with every beat of my heart. I can’t deny living with him is something I want, even if I didn’t consider it until today. Once I’ve gained a little composure I tell him, “So, ask me.”
“Azley, will you please make my world worth living by moving in with me?”
How can I say no that? Simple, I can’t, “Yes, my love, I will live with you.”
As he’s about to kiss me we get interrupted, again. No damn privacy in this place. The nurse has finally brought my discharge papers, so I can’t begrudge her for the interruption. Evan helps me into the wheel chair before heading downstairs ahead us to bring his truck around to the door. Home. I’m going home.
Chapter 18
Evan
I hate leaving Azley while she’s sick. If I could have called in when she first went into the hospital I would have. Never in my life have I ever put someone else over my own priorities, especially my job, other than family. But Azley is family to me now; she and Tyler both are. I’m here now to see if I can take some time off so I can take care of her. When I get back home, I’m going to make sure she understands she doesn’t have to do this alone anymore. The three days I took care of Tyler changed my whole perspective on what it really means to have a family. The best parts of my days with him were bedtime, when we’d lay on the bed in my spare room, now his room, and read his stories together. He may not know how to read the actual words, but he can spin a tale based on the pictures alone. We made a game of me reading one page, and he tells me what happens next after examining the pictures on the following one.
Azley was still asleep in our bed when I left to drop Tyler off with Mrs. Z this morning. She didn’t get to hear him call me daddy when he hugged me goodbye. I admit, that made me tear up. Can’t say I didn’t enjoy it or that I would
mind if he kept on calling me that. I want to be his daddy, and I’m going to do everything I can to make that happen. First things first, getting time off so I can get home to them. My family.
As soon as I walk into the firehouse, I see Crosby sporting his black eye, courtesy of me. It’s lightened up to just a yellow-green color, barely noticeable, but it’s still there. I’m still pissed over everything that happened at my parent’s house. He blindsided me in front of the whole family when he could have easily just pulled me aside to let me know. I wonder what the fuck he’s doing here. EMT’s don’t usually hang out at the fire house.
He looks up as I walk towards him and has the good grace to flinch in shame. “Crosby, can we talk a minute? Privately.”
“Sure Ev, I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” I turn around and lead the way outside to the side of the building, away from prying ears. I’m sure everyone on shift has already seen Crosby and is wondering what happened. I won’t tell them, and I know he won’t either.
I lean against the wall, arms crossed over my chest as I ready myself for the speech I’m about to lay on him. “Look, Crosby, I’m sorry about punching you. Though, I’m not sorry about how angry I got. You had no right talking like that about Azley. What goes on between me and her, how she chooses to live her life, that’s none of your damn business.”
“I agree, and I want to apologize to you for that. I was out of line. I was just worried about you, bro.”
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, Crosby. That would be Azley who should be hearing it.” His head hangs in shame, and I’ve no doubt he really is sorry. My brother may act like a dick more often than he should, but he has a good heart. He may have thought he was protecting his big brother, but all he did was cause problems where there were none in the first place.
“How is she doing? Azley? Mom told me about what happened. After giving me an earful on my behavior, of course. For such a tiny woman, she’s got a set of lungs and a foul mouth. I didn’t know she had those words in her vocabulary.” His shoulders shake with silent laughter, stilling immediately when he turns his head to face me.
“She’s at my house, our house, resting.” His eyes widen as he gets my meaning, ready to say something, but I continue on, “She’s in a bad place, and the doctors don’t know yet what’s going on with her. Just waiting for test results to come back for now. I only came in this morning so I can request time off and fill out any paper work if I have to. Azley and Tyler need me, and I intend to be there for them.”
“I get it, bro, you love her.”
“I do, both of them.” Sugar starts playing on my phone so I hold my hand up to Crosby to give me a minute as I answer, “Good morning, Sugar, how are you feeling?”
“Evan, I need you to come home. Please. Something, something is wrong.” Her voice is shaking, barely above a whisper.
“What’s going on, Azley?” Alarms bells are going off in my head. She starts crying, her words not making any sense through her sobs. “Sugar, are you alright? Talk to me, please.”
I turn in a panic to catch Crosby’s eyes. I don’t need to say a thing, he knows from the look on my face that I need to get the hell out of there. “I’ll go tell your captain you have a family emergency. I got this, E.”
“Get your ambulance to my house!” I yell after him as he runs into the station as I head for my truck, not hanging up as I start it and take off back home, breaking the speed limit, only stopping for the damn red lights that seem to be working against me. “I’m on my way, Sugar. You just stay on the line with me, okay? I’m on my way.”
Chapter 19
Azley
I wake to a silent house. My bladder is full, and the urge to relieve myself has me sprinting to the bathroom. As soon as I sit down, I know something is wrong. This feels different, strange. The flow is silent, slow, thick, unending. What the hell is going on? I squeeze my muscles to get it to stop, but it doesn’t work, I sit and wait for it to run its course and look down into the bowl.
I must be seeing things, this can’t be right. Squeezing my eyes shut, I pray that when I open them the color will be yellow, not red. I’m practically hyperventilating when I open them, tears building up as I take another look then turn away. I’m freaking the fuck out! Unsure if I’m seeing what I’m seeing, I look to the toilet once and stare into it. “Is that... blood? That’s blood, right? I’m not seeing things? Why am I peeing blood? What the hell is happening to me?”
Evan. I need to call Evan, beg him to come home. Why is this happening? What does this mean? Crawling back to the bedroom, I grab my phone and lay down on the cool wood floor. It feels so cold against my skin, but I don’t have the energy to climb onto the bed. I bring my phone to life and hit his name, “Please answer, please answer, please.”
“Good morning, Sugar, how are you feeling?”
“Evan, I need you to come home. Please. Something, something is wrong.” The damn of tears I’d been holding in while I waited for him to answer breaks free. I can hear him on the other end, telling me he’s on his way. All I can do is cry in relief that he’s coming, cry tears of fright as I wait for him. Time stands still until I hear the front door crash open.
“Azley, where are you, Sugar?”
“Oh god,” I whimper, willing my voice to get louder, “Evan ! Hurry, please!”
He comes rushing into the bedroom to find me laying on the floor. “What’s going on? Did you fall?”
“The bathroom,” I point for him to go in there and hear him curse. He comes back and kneels at my side, sliding his arms underneath my body to lift me up onto the bed.
“Crosby is on his way here. We’ll get you back to the hospital. You’re not leaving that damn place again until they figure out what the fuck is going on.” All I can do is nod my head in agreement as he brushes my hair away from my face.
Crosby and his partner enter the room shortly after, bringing a gurney with them. “Hey, Azley. I’m just going to check you over real quick, see where your vitals are at. You okay if I do that?”
I nod my permission. I’m still angry with him for the things he said, but I need help and he’s the one who can give that to me. They lift me onto the gurney once he’s done to take me out to the ambulance. It’s not a siren worthy ride, but I don’t have to wait to be registered this time.
A nurse nods her head, setting me up with an IV, while I tell her about what happened at home.
“How do you know there’s blood in your urine? Are you sure you’re not on your period?”
“I’m positive. I just finished that a little over two weeks ago.”
She huffs out a breath before grabbing a clear cup with a green lid from a cabinet. She writes on the label before handing it to me, “Well, how about we get a sample so we can find out what’s going on. I’m sure you’re mistaken.”
“I saw it myself. The toilet was filled with it!” Evan practically yells at the nurse.
“Regardless of what you saw, we still need a sample,” the nurse says as she stares Evan down. Her demeanor is cool, almost uncaring. I already don’t like her. I wish Evan’s mother was here instead and ask him to call her.
“I already did, Sugar. She’ll be here soon to start her shift. No worries now, she’ll take care of you. Your mom is on her way, too, and Mrs. Z said she’ll keep Tyler as long as we need her to.” He kisses my nose then places his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and take a deep, relaxing breath, letting his presence sooth me. “Do you need me to help you?”
“No, I can make it on my own. Be right back.”
I’m so pissed right now that when I get to the bathroom I fill that damn little cup to the brim. It’s a dark red that contrasts against the green of the lid. As I walk passed the nurses station, where my current nurse is standing, and slam the cup on the counter. Behind me, I hear her whispered, “Wow, I guess she was right. She really does have blood in her urine.” Bitch.
I climb on the bed once I’m back in the bay they have me
in. My head is starting to pound. I just want to close my eyes and sleep, but the pain is growing at a steady rate while my energy level drops just as quickly. I curl up on my side, “My head hurts, so bad.”
Mrs. Brooks comes in, asking Evan what happened. As he relays to her our morning, my head is starting to pound something fierce. So much so, I have to close my eyes because the light from the room is starting feel like sharp, piercing knives. Nausea claims my stomach, rolling like waves through me.
“Please, can I get something for this headache? It’s killing me,” I beg her.
“I’m so sorry sweetheart, you know I’m not allowed to give you anything until the doctor examines you,” Mrs. Brooks squeezes my hand in comfort before she leaves to update the doctor on duty.
“Can someone please turn the light off. It hurts my eyes.” The light flicks off as someone places a cool, wet cloth on my forehead. I welcome that sweet relief, as little as it is. Where is that damn doctor? Shouldn’t he be in here by now? Oh God, the pain, I want to die, please let me die!
I hear the swish of the door opening and a deep voice say, “Why are the lights off?” before the room is flooded with brightness and my head feels like a nuclear bomb just exploded inside of it.
“Turn off the fucking light!” I quickly grab my pillow and bury my head underneath it to block out the light.
“Excuse me? You can’t talk to me like that.” This person, whoever he is, sounds offended by my words. I don’t care. I want complete darkness surrounding me.
“She’s in pain, her head, the light hurts her.” I hear my mom say.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t examine her in the dark. The light stays on until I’m done.” Doctor. He’s the doctor. He’s a dick. I hate him already.