by Ann Grech
“No,” he gasped, his lungs on fire. He needed to breathe, but he couldn’t. Why couldn’t he? He fought, trying to push the wall of muscle away. Like he was underwater, the sounds around him became muted, his vision swimming. Blackness started to close in on him.
“Look at me, Connor. Focus on me. Breathe.” Levi? No, he can’t be here. “You’re back on the Goldie. Remember? Your first day back we went and laid out on the beach. You were listening to the waves, relaxing. Katy was there too. You were singing with your guitar.” He remembered that. The inner calm, the peace he got from being with his best friends washed over him. “That’s it. Take another breath.” He did and the dark shadows colouring his vision lifted.
“Con, I need you to look at me. I need you to see me.” Connor followed Levi’s soothing voice and finally focussed on him. Right in front of him, their faces close together, he was all Connor could see. His gut sank, confusion and horror washing over him. “Just look at me. Don’t worry about anything else. You’re safe. You’re home. No one’s gonna hurt you. Ever. Okay?” Connor found himself nodding, wanting to do anything to keep the strength of those hands on him. They were the only thing keeping him upright.
“I’m gonna give you a tablet. It’s the one you normally take to help calm you down. Can I do that? Can you open your mouth for me?” Connor’s movements were slow, but he managed a nod. When he did, he felt Levi reaching into his pocket, getting the pill bottle out and Connor opened his mouth. The acrid taste of the medicine under his tongue filled his mouth after a moment and he began floating, the pain drifting away. Levi’s strong hands stayed on him, comforting him.
His head throbbing, he slumped forward, falling into Levi’s arms and resting his head on his friend’s shoulder. He breathed deeply, smelling no cordite, no blood. There was only cedar and orange, only Levi. The tablets always made him drowsy—he hated taking them, but he was finally going numb, finally getting blessed relief from nerves that were too raw, from memories that were so terrifying, they’d broken and scarred him for life.
“I’m sorry,” Connor whispered. “I ruined everything.”
“Nah, you haven’t ruined anything. Not at all,” Levi responded, lulling Connor to sleep as he ran his fingers through Connor’s hair. “But this position is hell on my knees. Let’s get you up and into the medical centre so you can sleep. The doc’s right here.”
“No,” he breathed, his muscles clenching tight. “Not the infirmary, please.” Connor was ashamed at the weakness, the vulnerability in his voice, but he couldn’t handle another flashback, and that’s exactly what would happen if he went in there. The harsh antiseptics, the beds, and nurse’s scrubs would send him back to those early days after Rob’s death when mending his body had been the army’s main concern. Call him bitter, but the damage to his mind didn’t ever seem to have been as big a worry until his treating doctor’s deployment ended and he was replaced by another one who’d done part of her residency in the psych ward. She’d diagnosed Connor with PTSD and a few other things with complicated names when his nightmares bled into waking hours. Yeah, there was no way he was going back into a hospital unless he was dying. “I’ll go back to the car and stay there.”
Levi squeezed him tighter. “Yeah, okay. I’ll come and check on you.”
When Connor woke, he knew he’d slept for hours. The sun was low in the sky and the heat of the day had passed. He got out and stretched, needing to take a leak and get a drink. He was hazy, like he was seeing the world through cotton wool. The meds always did that to him. Looking around as he walked over to the exercise yard, he followed the breathing and exercises his therapist had given him. He counted out of order too, keeping his mind as occupied as he could. He didn’t want a repeat of that morning, but he was not going to let this beat him. He was going to function, and right at that moment, it meant going to find Levi.
When he saw his friend, he was soaked through and covered in mud jogging towards a collection of cameras. Connor guessed it was the finish line, but he wasn’t exactly the expert on how they filmed segments of the show.
Levi looked high on life, a broad smile lighting up his already gorgeous features. Connor looked around, trying to figure out who Levi had done the course with. Two men in olive camos ran behind him, covered in as much mud as Levi. They’d taken his place. He should have been running with his best friend, but his damn disability had stopped him short. Connor sighed, but he hated that he’d just proved the doctors right—his medical discharge was warranted. He didn’t want to get angry, hated the pity party for one he’d had when he was first diagnosed, but he couldn’t help being pissed. No, dude, that ain’t happenin’. Suck it up, sunshine, and appreciate what you have. That was it, the key—Connor wasn’t sure what the future held for him. He could end up that weird, lonely uncle sleeping in Levi and Katy’s spare room, but whatever life had in store for him, he was going to live every moment like it was his last.
The production crew clapped and cheered as Levi slowed his run to a walk. Visibly out of breath, he paced it out, shaking off the lactic acid in his legs as his breathing slowed, before dropping onto the ground, sitting cross-legged in the grass. He waved off the director as Connor walked over to him. “You okay, mate?” Connor asked. He smiled, proud of his friend’s effort in finishing the course.
“Yeah,” Levi replied, flashing him a grin in return. Turning to the man hovering close by he added, “Just gimme a minute to catch my breath then I’ll do the close.” When they were alone again, Levi groused at him playfully, “Don’t just stand there.” He held out his hand for Connor to help him up. “Lemme get this over with then I can have a shower and get in your car clean. Otherwise you’ll be carrying me home.”
“Like fuck.” He laughed, feeling lighter just being with Levi. “I’ll leave you here before I let you dirty up my brand-new interior.”
“Whatever. Tonight, I’m on the bottom.” And like that, Connor’s biggest problem was the erection tenting his camos. And what a great look that would be for a children’s program—Look here, kids, I’ve got a boner over fucking my best mate’s girl. In a threesome. With my best mate. Who I’m also hot for. Thank God, he wasn’t in front of the cameras.
“You’re on the bottom of what, Levi?” DJ, the location manager, asked, pointing out where they had the last of the cameras set up.
“Nothin’, mate,” Levi replied, barely missing a beat. Damn, they needed to be more careful in public. Levi was so worried about his job that he wouldn’t even repair his bike. He’d wanted piercings forever and tatts too, but had held off knowing that it didn’t suit his image for the show. And now he was potentially putting it on the line so Connor could jump into bed with them? What am I thinking letting him risk everything he’s worked for? Connor closed his eyes and slowly exhaled. How could he stay when he might be forcing Levi’s hand to risk something he loved? Especially when he was so damaged.
*****
“You sure you’re up to coming tonight? If you’d rather have some alone time with Katy, it’s cool. I don’t have to stay at your place either. I still have Nick and Em’s key,” Connor added as he pulled into the off-street parking just outside Katy’s shop. He cut the engine and willed himself to smile at Levi. It probably looked fake as hell, but after Connor had realized how much risk he was putting Levi in by being with them, he’d had a hard time putting on a genuine one.
“Yeah.” Levi nodded. He took a breath like he was nervous, and blurted out, “I know this is new and you were probably shocked as shit yesterday, and, yeah, we do need to have a sit down to figure out boundaries and all that other stuff, but can we maybe just go with the flow or whatever? I don’t want it to be a one-night thing, especially not when you and Katy feel the way you do about each other.”
Connor studied Levi, wanting to laugh at his nerves, but so grateful for the fact that he’d just laid it out there, giving him the opening Connor had dreamed of. “I’m happy to go with the flow. I’d kinda love it if last ni
ght wasn’t a one-off.” He flushed, embarrassed that his sex life outside of the night before had been virtually non-existent for a long time. “I know you two are exclusive. I’m happy to do the same if….” Connor shrugged, leaving the rest unsaid.
Levi nodded quickly. “I’d like that. We should talk to Katy too. Maybe if she wants to keep this thing between us going, you could watch us together.” Levi lifted his shoulder in a half shrug, his uncertainty showing through. Connor would never say it out loud—Levi might kick his arse—but he found it adorable. “Or I could watch again.” Levi shot him a shy smile and Connor’s heart warmed.
“Did it feel weird to you? Watching me with Katy, I mean?”
“Nah, not weird. It turned me on. I kinda want to see her give you a BJ. She gets so into it.” Levi pressed down on the bulge between his legs and Connor stifled a moan. I’d get into giving you a BJ too. “What about you? You okay with this? With us?”
“Yeah.” Connor nodded, before shrugging his shoulders and adding, “I never thought I’d even be lucky enough to kiss her, never mind love her like I did yesterday. And you being there made it even better.”
Levi smiled at him and clapped a hand on Connor’s thigh, quickly removing it. “Come on, let’s go in and get our girl.”
The chime on the door tinkled behind them as it opened and Levi stepped through. “G’day, Dylan, is Katy out back?”
“Sure is, sexy.” The dude looked up and flashed a smile to Levi, making jealousy churn in Connor’s gut and a low growl escape him. As soon as it did, the other man’s gaze flicked over to Connor and he did a slow perusal, checking him out. Heat bloomed in Connor’s cheeks and with a chuckle, the dude Levi had called Dylan asked, “You gonna introduce me to this hot piece of sex on a stick, Lee?”
Levi’s eyes widened momentarily, his mouth popping open as he froze like a deer in headlights. Yeah, Dylan had stunned him, and Connor couldn’t help but bite back a laugh. “Ah, Con, this is Dylan, Katy’s other pastry chef. He looks after all the stuff you see in the counter and does some of the decorating for Katy. Dylan, Connor, my best mate.”
“Nice to meet you, Connor.” Dylan held up his flour-coated hands giving him an apologetic look. “I’d shake, but it’s easier not to. Anyway, I’ve heard lots about you from Katy. Welcome back and thanks for your service.”
Connor swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He appreciated the sentiment but his emotions were a little too close to the surface, too raw, for him to respond with much more than a “Thanks.” Connor was grateful he didn’t have to continue the conversation when Levi wrapped a hand around his bicep and tugged him across the room.
“Sugar?” Levi called out as he poked his head through the security-coded door to the rear work area.
“Hi, babe. I’m in the storeroom. Come and take a look at the cake I just finished.”
They walked through into the cooled room, and Connor’s mouth dropped open. Damn the talent this girl had was off the charts. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The three-foot-high replica of Cinderella’s castle came complete with a horse-drawn pumpkin chariot, Cinderella in her white ball gown and Prince Charming waiting at the top of the stairs. Every minute detail stood out—the individual leaves on the bushes, petals on the flowers, every shingle on the roof and curl of fabric in the dress. It was magnificent. Katy was magnificent.
“Holy crap, that’s amazing,” Levi breathed. Connor was speechless. But unable to resist touching her anymore, Connor reached out and took the camera she was holding, handing it to Levi.
Clasping her hand in his, he listened as Katy explained, “It’s a one-off design for a customer. I’ve been working on it for nine days. The chariot alone took me four hours to make.” Turning to him, she smiled tentatively, her blue eyes seeking out his approval. “What do you think, Con?”
The memories from the night before careened into him—Katy writhing in pleasure beneath him, the tight clasp of her pussy as she cradled him while they came together, the love in her gaze when he rolled them to the side and held her—and he fell deeper under the spell she wove. “Fuck me,” he stuttered. “It’s—”
“Yes please.” Dylan laughed from the doorway. Instinctively Connor dropped Katy’s hand and put some distance between them. He may have been in her bed, in her the night before, but whatever they had would never be public. Especially not with Levi having to guard his job.
Connor feigned a chuckle, but it sounded strained even to his own ears. “It’s fuckin’ amazing. But how could someone eat it? It’s a work of art.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t bear to cut into it.” Katy smiled and shrugged. “But that’s the reason they bought it.”
Connor’s phone chimed with an incoming message. He was going to ignore it until Katy motioned him to get it. When he saw who’d sent it, he grinned. His cousin, Ford, was bringing his partner to the Gold Coast for a holiday. After close to a decade, he was going to see his only living relative—Ford’s parents didn’t count. They weren’t Connor’s favourite people in the world. Stuck up and with major superiority complexes, Connor steered clear of his father’s sister and her doctor husband wherever possible. It wasn’t hard when they were in the UK, and he was on the other side of the world. How his cousin ended up being such a great guy was beyond Connor, and even though there was nearly a ten-year age gap between them, they’d always been mates.
Katy linked arms with him and added, “Come on, let’s head home. You can tell me all about why you’re suddenly as excited as a puppy dog on the way.”
EIGHT
Connor
Two weeks later
A thud sounded in the dark and Katy swore. Then, some rustling and the closing of a door.
“What’s up, Cupcake?” Connor mumbled into the pillow. He missed her naked body pressed against him already. After his gig the night before, he’d spent hours tasting and worshipping her body, taking turns with Levi to pump into her. Sandwiched between them, her leg hooked over Levi’s waist, they’d made love for hours, he and Levi staving off their own orgasms to see how many they could give to Katy. He’d counted four before he’d lost it when Levi was driving into her and Connor shifted, inadvertently coming into contact with the other man’s dick. Both slicked up with Katy’s essence, they’d ground against each other momentarily, sliding in an erotic dance. Katy’s tight, hot centre, her cries and the shudder she’d let loose when they’d both connected and prodded her opening had Connor gritting his teeth and caving into sensation. Rutting against them both for only a moment, Connor’s orgasm swept through him like a hurricane, making him spill his seed into the condom sheathing him. Hearing Levi’s moans joined with Katy’s higher pitched cries had another pulse erupting from Connor. His choked cry added to the guttural groan Levi let loose, and he watched as Levi fisted his cock and pumped, painting them with his come as he hurtled off the edge, riding out his release with heaving breaths.
Another dull thud and Connor’s sleep-hazed mind turned back to what had woken him. Katy.
“I just tripped. This room is too small for all our stuff. If I can find my sneakers, I’m goin’ for a run with a few of the girls, and then I have to duck into work for a while. I’ll be back in a few hours. You two stay right where you are so I can join you when I get back.”
“Mmmhmm,” he mumbled, leaning into Katy’s kiss as she hovered over him, before snuggling back into the soft pillow again. With one eye open, Connor watched as she walked around the bed and kissed Levi’s temple.
Running her fingertips down his cheek, she whispered, “He’s still wiped out too.”
“Mmm,” Connor half responded, unable to resist the pull of sleep.
A light breath fanned his face, and soft lips brushed against his own. Warm, wet glides of his open mouth against Katy’s, their tongues touched, stroked. But this kiss was different somehow. Then it hit him. Oh fuck. The scratch of stubble teased his cheek, and Connor moaned softly, pulling Levi closer. As every hard inch of the other man’s b
ody pressed against his own, Connor deepened the kiss, going from zero to sixty in a heartbeat. Fire burned through him, and Connor gasped, Levi nipping his lip. Running his hands over Levi’s chest, he mapped every ripple of muscle under his palms. He flicked his fingertips over Levi’s erect nipples, causing the other man to buck his hips and moan. Knowing he could do that to him—damn, what a turn on. Warm skin, he knew from endless months of staring, bore a natural golden tan, and taut muscle had Connor diving in for more. He’d dreamed of this—of being able to touch Levi too, to kiss him and love him. Of there being no barriers between them.
Connor ran his hand down Levi’s back, and over a sensitive spot. Levi shivered and Connor hummed, insanely pleased with himself. Sliding lower to the other man’s ass, Connor grabbed a handful of the perfect globe and pulled him closer, rocking against him. Like Levi, he was steely hard. Levi’s name on his tongue was more a moan, animalistic in its sound as it was ripped from Connor’s chest when he ground against his best friend.
But Lee’s reaction—his hard shove—had Connor nearly falling off the bed. He was stunned. Utterly floored. One minute he was in his arms making out, and the next he was frantically grasping the sheet trying to stop himself landing on his arse on the floor. Levi staggered backwards off the mattress and, fell over his own feet, hitting the wall. He plastered himself against it like a spooked animal about to rear.