All or Nothing

by Deborah Cooke

  That suspicious glint got a bit brighter in her eye. “What are you saying?”

  “That I can help you refine your game, if that’s the way you want to go. A little finesse here and there, and you’ll be giving Cin a run for her money in no time.”

  Jen folded her arms across her chest. She looked somewhat skeptical, it must be said, of the inviolable wisdom of Zach’s conclusions. “You’re going to criticize my technique?”

  “Maybe just offer a few helpful pointers. Think of the things I could teach you.”

  “All things I don’t want to know. I don’t want to be better at being manipulative…”

  She was so indignant that Zach couldn’t resist teasing her. “We could make a heck of a team, you know, with my experience and your smooth delivery.”

  Jen was unimpressed. “I can’t believe you! You’re not even insulted. You wish I’d done a better job of deceiving you and you’re going to teach me how to do it! Doesn’t it bother you, not even a little bit, that I tried to use you?”

  “No.” Zach shook his head. “Because I can understand why you did it.” He leaned closer and liked how her eyes widened at his proximity. Maybe he should steal another kiss. “Because, let’s face it, we both know that the very fact that you picked me isn’t insignificant.”

  Jen turned away. “You don’t know that. It was a random choice.”

  “You’re a lousy liar,” he said, his tone teasing. She looked daggers at him. “And I’m not going to teach you how to do better at that because I think it’s cute.”

  “Cute!” Jen got three inches taller. “I am not cute! Cute is for puppies and kittens and small things that aren’t threatening.”

  “You are cute.” Zach closed the step between them and lifted her chin with his fingertip. “You’re cute, you’re funny, you’re gorgeous when you smile, you have a stunner of a voice and you kiss like a goddess.”

  “Liar,” she had time to say before he kissed her again. This time, she didn’t let the kiss get far enough to be interesting. She planted her hands on Zach’s chest and pushed him away. “You have to stop doing that.”

  “Because it might upset my dog?” Zach was already learning that the best was to make Jen laugh was to surprise her.

  “Roxanne is a dog?” Jen blinked, then smiled tentatively when he nodded. “Really?”

  The smile didn’t last long enough to suit Zach, but he knew now that it could be induced.

  By him.

  Repeatedly.

  “Really.” That was all the encouragement he needed. “A large dog, who is fond of me, but probably just because I feed her.” He pretended to be pensive. “I don’t think she’s a possessive type, to be honest.”

  Jen watched him, her expression unreadable. There was a gleam of…something in her eye. “You couldn’t be honest to save your life.”

  “I’m trying to save a date here. Isn’t that a worthy cause?”

  “It’s not a date. Not a real date, anyway.” Jen heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry. If you want to leave, I’ll make up something.”

  Zach snorted. “As if anyone would believe you. I’m not leaving until the party’s over.”

  She looked at him, her eyes bright.

  “Just tell me what the Plan was,” he invited. “Professional courtesy and all that.”

  Jen averted her gaze. “That they’d hate you, that’s all.”

  “The way they hated Steve,” Zach guessed.

  Jen nodded. “So, my mother wouldn’t start fixing me up.”

  Zach chuckled. “If Gerry’s any indication, her taste in men is a bit frightening.”

  Jen began to smile, then stopped abruptly as if she would rather have not done so. “Got it in one.”

  “So what was Steve like?”

  It took her a while to answer, one big clue that Steve had been important to her. Maybe he still was. Not that Zach cared about serious emotional commitment. Jen was welcome to pine after another guy while she had fun with Zach. “Successful, ambitious, conservative.” She paused, then nodded as she added another attribute. “Carnivorous.”

  It sounded as if she should have picked Jason to have her plan come together with success, but Zach didn’t tell her that. If nothing else, he was going to develop an affection for vegetables in the short term. “And once they hated me?”

  “I could just threaten to bring you to family events. They’d insist I didn’t.”

  “Ah, and meanwhile, we wouldn’t even be seeing each other. You’d be dating the Fictional Man—”

  “Not entirely fictional. They’d have met you.”

  “—and never have to deal with your mom’s choices.”

  Jen wrinkled her nose. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. I wish I’d thought of it myself.”

  “I didn’t actually…”

  “Lesson One, Jen: take credit where it’s due.”

  “But…”

  “Look, I can still get you off the dating hook. After all, I’m already here.”

  She regarded him with suspicion. “Why would you do that?”

  “Why not?” Zach felt as if he was back in his rhythm again, following his impulse and seeing where it led. He could smell that this was going to be fun. He offered Jen his hand. “So, come on back in the dining room. I’ll tell them jail stories and lawyer jokes and take some pictures and it won’t be so bad. We’ll get through it and ensure along the way that you don’t have to be fixed up with anybody. You’ll see.”

  Jen folded her arms across her chest and stood back from him. “Why are you making this easy for me?”

  Zach grinned. “I told you already: you’re cute and you’re…”

  Jen held up a hand, stopping him before he really got rolling. “No, no. I want to know the real reason. I want to know what’s in it for you. I want to know what you want in exchange for giving me what I want.”

  Zach leaned close to whisper, watching her awareness of him. When he did score that kiss, it was going to be a good one. “Because if I play along, then you owe me,” he whispered with satisfaction.

  “Owe you what?”

  “We’ll have to negotiate that.” He watched the fear light Jen’s eyes, then headed back toward the dining room, certain she’d be right behind him.

  He was right.

  * * *

  Jen felt as if she was six years old again, hoodwinked for the zillionth time by her older sister and unable to do anything to save herself. It’s not fair, she wanted to shout, which was ridiculous. She’d gotten herself into this mess and she’d get herself out of it.

  She had to have learned something from a lifetime of surviving Cin’s tricks. Right. The most important thing to do was to take the initiative.

  And ideally, to turn the tables.

  She could do that.

  She caught Zach’s elbow in her hand and pulled him to a stop on the threshold of the dining room. He looked down at her and she wondered whether it was possible for any man to look as if he was having a better time than Zach did right now. His eyes sparkled and his lips curved, which also made her wonder if anyone could kiss better than Zach.

  Maybe she’d just been out of the lap pool for too long.

  Jen frowned and shook her head. There was nothing saying that she had to let Zach charm her into anything.

  And there was nothing saying that she had to let him kiss her again.

  Even if it didn’t seem like that bad of an idea in this particular moment.

  “There’s no deal unless my mother hates you,” she whispered, smiling sweetly up at him as if they were exchanging lover’s secrets.

  She saw his consternation and realized that Zach liked to be liked. “But…”

  “Otherwise, I owe you nothing,” she said. She stretched up to give him a chaste kiss, punctuating it with an endearment intended to make him wince. “Honey.”

  Zach flinched. Jen headed back to her place at the table, well aware of Cin’s curiosity. Her sister looked between the two of t
hem, obviously regretting her early departure from the kitchen.

  She gave her sister her best ‘too bad’ look.

  Zach sat down, seemed to collect his thoughts, then had another serving of turkey. “You must use the liver in the gravy,” he said to Jen’s grandmother. “That’s my favorite.”

  It was a brilliant comment. Gran beamed while Natalie glowered. Jen’s siblings turned various hues of hostile and Gerry puffed up with indignation.

  “It’s in the stock,” Gran confided. “I use all of the giblets to make the stock for the gravy, just the way my mother did, and you know, once the stock is done, I sauté the kidneys and liver in onions and butter. It makes a nice meal.”

  “I’ll bet it’s very tasty,” Zach agreed.

  “Must we review this senseless carnage at the table?” Gerry asked.

  Gran smiled. “At my table, yes. And it’s not senseless, Gerry, it’s tradition. Natalie grew up tall enough and healthy enough, eating meat.”

  “My children grew up tall and healthy without it,” Natalie countered.

  “And Jen?” Zach asked, glancing to her.

  “I eat chicken and fish,” she admitted.

  “She has an excuse,” Natalie said with obvious regret and silence reigned again. To Jen’s relief, nothing more was said about that.

  Zach looked between the three of them, not as at ease with the conflict he’d awakened as Jen might have expected. “It’s all delicious,” he said, taking another cabbage roll as well.

  He glanced Jen’s way and she mouthed the word ‘chicken’. Zach glanced down at his plate, his eyes sparkling as he lifted the meat with his fork and shook his head minutely. ‘Turkey’ he mouthed back at her and Jen nearly had an untimely attack of the giggles.

  She shouldn’t be finding him funny. Not at all. He was useful in only one way—and that wasn’t supposed to be entertaining.

  “No winning this one, man,” Pluto said, settling back to chew and watch the show.

  Jen wondered what Zach would want as compensation for playing along. Maybe he had the same kind of issues with his family and she could reciprocate. That would be the obvious quid pro quo. Even if, according to Cin’s plan, Jen shouldn’t want to know more about Zach.

  But she did.

  She wondered, actually, what kind of family he had. He’d mentioned brothers, as well as his dead father and his mom, who was presumably still alive. Did he have nieces and nephews? Did he make them laugh, too? She’d bet he was their favorite uncle, always ready for a game of whatever.

  She wanted to know what kind of a dog Roxanne was, and if he treated her well, and if she really did adore him. She wanted to see the photographs he’d taken, because his whole face had lit up when he’d talked about them. She wanted to go to the places he’d been and see for herself why they were so fascinating. She wanted to take him to places she’d been and see whether he liked them as well as she did.

  She wanted to make him stop telling lawyer jokes, but that seemed unlikely.

  She wanted to make him laugh.

  She wanted to surprise him, but he got to her first.

  Zach glanced around the table brightly, which Jen would later realize was a clue that he meant to say something outrageous. “Maybe you’re right, Cin, maybe a spring wedding would be just the thing.” Jen choked on her mashed root vegetables and Zach winked at her. “What do you think, honey? Why should we wait?”

  “Married? You’ve only just started dating,” Natalie protested.

  “Oh no,” Zach said with such confidence that no one would doubt the truth of what he said. “We’ve been seeing each other for months now. Right, honey?”

  Jen nodded, because she didn’t trust herself to say anything. Zach’s eyes were dancing and she tried to match his enjoyment of the moment. Cin was astonished, which was kind of fun.

  “I had no idea you were so serious.” Natalie gave Jen a sharp glance.

  Jen shrugged, doing her best to play along. “I wanted to be sure before you met. Not get your hopes up.”

  “Never hurts to take time to get to know each other,” Gran said with approval. “Where’s your ring?”

  “We’re still looking for the biggest diamond in Boston,” Zach said, shaking his head with mock disappointment. “Because the size of the stone shows everybody the size of our love, don’t you think?” Gerry nearly choked on his tofu at that. “The bigger the better is my thinking, given how I feel about Jen. But I think we might have to fly down to New York for lunch and shop at Tiffany. We’re just not finding anything spectacular enough, here in town.”

  “Fly? For lunch?” Gerry sputtered, seeking the words to express his outrage over such wasteful consumption.

  “Well, I’d rent a corporate jet. Just a little one.”

  Gerry was at a complete loss for words. Natalie fumed.

  “How romantic!” Cin said.

  “Don’t be holding your breath,” Ian muttered to her.

  “After all, you’ve already got the green plastic Batman ring from the cereal box,” Pluto teased Cin.

  “That was a joke!” Ian protested, his neck coloring.

  “You’ll never live it down, my love,” Cin said.

  “Only because you had to tell them about it.” Ian was disgruntled as he rarely was.

  Cin ignored him, her gaze fixed upon Zach. Ian ate with stoic determination and couldn’t possibly be tasting his food.

  Looked like trouble in paradise. Jen wasn’t going to get involved.

  Meanwhile, Jen’s mother opined about marriage being an outdated institution and her grandmother argued forcibly in favor of tradition and dissent ruled the table again.

  “Early spring or late?” Cin demanded, interrupting a familiar argument. “Lilacs or roses?”

  “Depends when we can book the church,” Jen said, raising the stakes a notch. “Have you phoned yet, honey?”

  Zach snapped his fingers. “You’re right, honey. I forgot again. When we go to church Sunday with my mom, we can maybe ask the minister. I’m sure he’ll arrange it.”

  “Getting married in church?!” Natalie and Gran exclaimed simultaneously, although their reactions were opposite.

  “You’re going to church?” Natalie demanded. “I thought you were working Sunday brunches.”

  Jen nodded weakly, resolving that she’d reciprocate in kind at Zach’s family dinner. They’d be living together like hippie flower children and never getting married, smoking dope every night and having love-ins on alternate Saturdays.

  “I shall have to get a new hat,” Gran said with satisfaction. “A church wedding. What a delight that will be! I never thought I’d see the day that one of my grandchildren would be married in a church.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with city hall,” Natalie said, her teeth gritted. “Marriage is a secular bond and religious institutions have no right to…”

  “Oh, we have to get married in church,” Zach said, picking up his cue with perfect ease. “Don’t we, honey?”

  Jen nodded. “His mother wouldn’t hear of anything else.”

  “Maybe you know the big Episcopalian church in Rosemount?” Zach asked. “That’s where it will be.”

  “Lovely!” Gran enthused.

  “Wait a minute,” M.B. interjected, his manner thoughtful. “Didn’t Jen say your surname was Coxwell? Are you one of those Coxwells?”

  “Which Coxwells?” Gran asked.

  “That’s us,” Zach admitted, his manner less easy than it had been. “You must have read about my brothers in the paper last year.”

  “Yeah,” M.B. said, leaning back in his chair. “I did. Your family is really old Mass.”

  “I guess we are,” Zach said. “Arrived on the Mayflower and all that, but you know, timing isn’t everything.” Jen watched him try to divert the conversation but she couldn’t figure out why. “Anyone know the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?”

  “I didn’t read about his family,” Natalie said. “Or if I did, I d
on’t remember.”

  M.B. wagged a finger at Zach. “Judge Robert Coxwell would have been related to you, then.”

  “He was my father,” Zach said, with a dark glance at M.B. “Now, the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline…?”

  “Judge Robert Coxwell?” Natalie and Gerry straightened and inhaled in unison.

  “He wanted to overturn Roe vs. Wade,” Natalie fumed.

  Gerry nodded vigorously. “And his agenda for the Supreme Court would have set us back a hundred years…”

  “He’s dead,” Zach interrupted more sharply than Jen had ever heard him say anything. He was serious, and she’d never seen him that way either. He pushed aside his plate, then grimly delivered his punch line. “The difference is that you take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.”

  No one laughed.

  Jen didn’t know what to say. Zach appeared to be quite upset.

  Or was he just putting it on?

  “That’s very sad that your father passed away, but still, his ideology…” Natalie began, but M.B. shook his head.

  “Leave it, Mom.”

  “I don’t think so, M.B. This is important. If Jen is going to marry into this family, we need to understand…”

  “The judge committed suicide, Mom,” M.B. interrupted flatly. “Maybe talking about that isn’t very festive for Zach.”

  Natalie flushed and sat back in her chair.

  “Thank you,” Zach said quietly to M.B.

  “No problem. It’s a day for gratitude, not for mourning or grudges.”

  Zach nodded and toyed with his wine glass, apparently out of conversation for the moment. Jen met M.B.’s gaze and smiled at him. “Thanks,” she mouthed and he nodded once. M.B. was the one who made bridges in this family of divergent views and she was glad he had done it again.

  She knew one way to make Zach smile again. “Maybe we shouldn’t wait until the spring, honey,” she said, her tone playful. “What about Valentine’s Day?”

  “A manufactured holiday,” Gerry intoned. “Based upon nothing but generating the sales of greeting cards and imported flowers.”

  “You don’t need time to arrange a simple wedding,” Natalie chided. “And besides, there’s no rush. Shouldn’t you get to know each other better?”