“It would be a suicide mission.”
Damian shook his head. “Not for me.”
She reached for his hand across the table. “Please, I don’t want you to do something like that for me.”
Damian set his fork down, letting her grasp his palm. “You don’t think I can kill him?”
“It’s so dangerous.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “You’d be risking your life. Because of me.”
“I might be the only soldier that can pull it off. And it needs to be done, Haley.” He gave her a darkly, serious look. “You don’t believe in me?” His grave expression melted into a half-smile. “This is what I do for a living.”
Her fingers gripped his hand. “What if you got hurt? Or killed?” A wave of worrisome tears threatened to spill over.
“It’s very difficult to kill me, Haley, I’m immortal.” He folded her clenching hand between his large palms. “But you have a point. Raden is just as difficult to kill, if not more so, since he’s not susceptible to witches.” He looked at her hand in his grasp, running his thumb along her skin. “Sooner or later, I’m going to have to do it. I’d rather it’s sooner so he doesn’t have a chance to get to you.”
Haley relaxed a little at his masculine hands, stroking her palm. “You would go to Raden’s mansion?” Cold fear seeped into her limbs. “He has an army of demons guarding it.”
“There are a lot of ways around them.”
The few bites of French toast she’d taken were churning in her stomach. Her lips set into a haunted pout as she thought about Damian battling his monstrously evil uncle. Raden seemed larger than life, a creature who could easily level an entire army of Adversus soldiers without a second thought, which was why the organization had never pursued him as a foe.
Damian studied her anxious expression. “There’s always a way, Haley. You should know that. You escaped from him.”
“That was mostly luck.” Tears began to form in her eyes. The idea of losing Damian to Raden’s sick band of demons was too much for her to think about. She dropped her gaze, letting her hair fall over her face to shield her glistening eyes.
“I doubt that. Your intelligence had a lot to do with it.” He reached forward, gently sweeping her hair back, and caught the shining tears in her eyes.
Haley stared helplessly at the table. “I hid inside a crate of bodies they were sending to the Pit.” The Pit was nothing more than a massive crater in the ground. Full of death, she’d crawled free from it. Those memories had long been buried, and she hated even speaking the words. “Please don’t go back there, Damian.”
Damian brushed his knuckles across her cheek to sweep away the fallen tears. “All right, beautiful girl. I’ll halt the plans to destroy my uncle. At least until I can find a more foolproof approach with less risk involved.”
Haley looked up, blinking back her tears. “Please understand. I want him to be dead. More than anything.” With a deep swallow, she tried to push aside the horrific memories she’d unearthed. Fearful chills shuddered through her. “That place. His mansion. I can’t imagine you going there. Especially on my behalf.” Haley shook her lowered head, bringing her hands to cover her face, and whispered behind her palms. “I can’t believe you were planning to do that.”
“Haley.” His deep voice was soothingly tender. He waited until she lowered her hands to rest in her lap, still staring down at them. “I hate that you were exposed to that kind of twisted darkness.” He paused for a moment, bitterness creeping into his tone. “I know that darkness very well, I was raised in it. It’s a part of me, and I’m not remotely intimidated by Raden. He needs to be destroyed before he gets another opportunity to take you.”
She used the back of her hand to clear away a few tears and looked at her plate with a sickly stomach.
“I ruined your breakfast.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.” Haley shook her head, telling herself to brighten up. She gazed at his look of intense regret with a weary smile. “You’re like, my assassin lover, wanting to kill my enemies. It’s very sweet.” She shifted a little in her seat, picking up her fork. “And a little bit sexy.”
A surge of warmth moved through Damian’s drained body. “I’m your lover.”
“Right?”
“Yeah. I’m your lover.” He nodded, enjoying the way the sentence sounded.
The phone on the table rang loudly, drawing their attention. Haley picked it up.
“Are you still mad at me?” Aimee’s voice was mousy on the other end. “I was gonna knock on your door, but I noticed your dark gentleman was acting a little love-sick when he told Stephen he was taking the day off. Did you guys do it?”
“Yes.” Haley smiled. “I’m eating breakfast, I’ll call you in a little while, OK?”
Damian stared at the phone’s cradle; clearly the lines were working again. He’d need to use the one in his room to call his boss. Though he dreaded what he had to do, Haley was worth it. She’d already endured well beyond her share of pain, and he wasn’t about to cause her any more.
* * *
“Damian.” Victor’s typical no-nonsense voice barked through the phone. “Have you and Hawthorne fallen off the planet? You’re impossible to get ahold of.”
Damian thought about the irony of his statement, he had to agree he didn’t feel grounded when he was with Haley. Making love to her had been mind-blowing to say the least. He felt like an addict, craving more of her.
Of course, Victor had been referring to Stephen Hawthorne. “Morning, sir. The phone lines went down, and we don’t have any signal this far into the mountains.”
“Don’t worry about the djinn nest anymore, I’ve sent a team to finish the investigation. Stephen shouldn’t even be on this case. He’s a goddamn Healer. I want him at headquarters where he belongs, understand?”
“Yes.” Damian was glad to hear he didn’t have to go back to the blood-soaked cavern where the djinn had nested. They’d been hauling out the dead for days, gathering clues while Adam and Talis got the glory of actually chasing the monsters.
“Neither you nor Noah seem to be considering Eli Hawthorne a very high priority. It’s rumored in Hell he’s lost his mortem rat supplier, and is looking to purchase a new crop. We’re not gonna let that happen, understand? Your number one goal is to find a way to kill him. Noah’s distracted as hell every time he calls me with an update. I need you both thoroughly focused, are you hearing this?”
Damian ran a palm across the back of his head, anxious about treading on new ground with his boss. “I need to be taken off the case.”
The only sound coming through the line for a moment was the static of the poor connection.
“Why is that?”
“I’m compromised.”
“Christ, is this because of Haley Hawthorne?”
“Yes…” He drew out the word.
“We have an entire department of clairvoyants, Damian. We’re also aware that Noah’s with Eli’s daughter for Chrissake. Is that the problem here? You’re soldiers. You’re supposed to be protecting the innocent.”
“I know Eli’s a threat.” He hung his head, rubbing his eyes. “I can’t kill her uncle, sir. You’ll have to use someone else.”
“There is no one else. He’s gone half-insane from all the rat skin he’s eaten, and I’m not losing any of my men to this son of a bitch. You and Noah are the best I’ve got, it’s why I chose you in the first place. If it just so happens you’re both cuddling up to the target’s family members, well, I hate to say it, but that’s a downside to the job. I’m not taking you off the case.”
He mulled over his lack of options.
“You’ll never quit the Order, Damian.” Victor sounded confident. “You’re destined for the hunt.”
“And that’s what it would mean? If I don’t take this case, I’m out? You need me more than that.”
“What are you going to do? Sit on your ass in a blind wonderland while Eli destroys innocent lives? We both know you won’t do that. Co
me on, Damian, get your head straight, and slay the fucking dragon.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
A wrenching pain tore through his heart on the way back to her room. He couldn’t continue to be with Haley if he planned to annihilate her uncle. It would destroy him.
Her contented expression faded when she saw him. “What’s wrong?”
“Just work stuff.” He walked in and closed the door. Fuck me…I don’t want to do this.
“Oh.” She slipped her hands to his shoulders, leaning up to kiss along his rigid jawline. The ache in Damian’s chest moved downward to his cock. She practically purred as her lips trailed along to his ear. “I want to taste you.” His heartbeat sped up as her hand dropped to the front of his jeans, touching the hard bulge under them. She started to drop to her knees, and he stopped her, taking her by the shoulders.
“Haley…wait.” Damian felt like a prick, but he would feel even worse if he actually let her do that to him before he told her what he needed to say.
“What’s the matter?”
“I have to talk to you about something.” He struggled to keep the desperation out of his voice. His mind was murky with thoughts of her lush mouth, closing over his achingly hard dick, presently crushed inside his boxers.
“I… this isn’t going to work.”
Her eyes flashed and widened. “Wh…” Her mouth went slack as she dropped her gaze to the floor. “What do you mean?”
“I, uh…” Damian dragged his palm over his head. “I’ve been assigned to a very involved mission.”
“You’ll be gone for a while?” Her voice was a hair-thin whisper. She sounded like she was about to cry. “I won’t get in the way of your work. I understand you have to leave for classified missions sometimes.”
“Fuck, Haley.” He gave her a pained stare. “You’re such an angel.”
“I don’t understand.” She had a hint of uncontrolled emotion in her voice.
I can’t fucking do this. “I’ll figure it out. I just need a little time to work on this. Can you give me a little time?”
“What do you mean by that?”
He moved his hand to the back of his neck as he searched for a reply. “Well…”
She stared at him with a trembling lower lip for a few seconds before sliding her arms around her middle. “No, I understand.”
The look in her eyes had gone cold. He’d hurt her. “I don’t think you do understand. I’ll make this work. Just give me some time.” Blinded by the pain in his chest, he racked his brain for a solution. Maybe I don’t have to kill him. Maybe he can be rehabilitated or something… anything is better than this. A rough breath escaped his chest. “I wish I could explain it better, but it’s all classified.”
“You don’t need to feel guilty. I’ll be all right.”
What have I done? His insides clenched at the thought of never being with her again. “No, Haley, give me a little time.”
“I don’t know what that means.” She shook her head, holding herself tighter.
“I know. I’m being really vague with you.” Damian looked away. “Because I have to be.”
Haley took a moment, considering his statement. She gave him a gentle look. “Tell me the truth. I can take whatever you have to say, trust me.” Or at least fake composure until you leave the room.
Damian’s eyes darkened. “Fake composure? Did you mean for me to hear that last thought?”
“Oh.” Haley dropped her gaze to the floor with a blush, turning away from him. “Shit…no…”
He grabbed her hunched shoulders, wrapping her in his arms. “Don’t fake anything with me.”
Haley clutched his clean cotton shirt in her fingers, burying her face against his chest. She whispered into his warm hold. “Just go away.”
Surprised at how deeply her words cut him, Damian held her closer. “I don’t want to go away.” He felt like she’d just stabbed him. “I really fucked this up.” He moved his face to her thick hair, inhaling her scent. “I don’t have any experience with this, Haley. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Haley let go, pulling away from him. “You didn’t hurt me.” She shrugged, refusing to meet his gaze. “I’m OK. I just want to be alone. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Just…please go.”
His heart broke a little as he stared at her cold gaze. Why didn’t I think this through before talking to her? I fucking had her, how did I let her slip through my fingers…
He needed to contact Noah. It seemed they had a common goal, maybe together they could persuade Eli to stop killing and become the uncle and father he once was.
His expression hardened. “I’m not finished with you, Haley.” The words came out harsher than he’d planned, but he caught a slight flash in her eyes. Was it hope? He couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Her mind had gone completely dark to him.
“Do what you need to do.” She gave a soft-spoken reply. “For now, I’d like you to leave.”
He rubbed his brow, unable to look at her for a moment. “If that’s what you want.” He turned to the door, intending to follow her wishes, but found himself grabbing her and forcing his mouth over hers.
Caught off guard, she opened her lips for a sharp breath, and Damian pushed his tongue between them. She gave the slightest moan as her body responded to his call.
Turning her head, she successfully broke the kiss, taking a gasp of air.
“OK.” Damian sighed roughly against her ear. “I’ll go.” She gasped softly at his biting teeth on her neck. “Wait for me.”
Damian stood back from her, waiting a few excruciating seconds for her to respond, but she only looked at him in uncertain silence.
Fix the problem with Eli so you can focus on getting her back in your arms. Clear on his purpose, he turned to leave the room.
“Bye, Haley.” His voice caught on her name as he jerked the door open.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Two weeks had gone by since Haley took a flight out of Montana back to Hawthorne Tower in California. Burying herself in her work, she’d hardly left her office. The shocking rendezvous with Damian had thrown her entirely off balance, her daily life suddenly felt depressing and a little boring. Her heart seemed almost mournful over him. She missed his touch and his presence in general. She’d even cried several times, cursing herself for allowing him to have such a powerful effect on her.
Secretly, she’d been holding onto a hope that he might call her, but he’d made no attempt. After two weeks of silence, she accepted the dreary truth that he was not interested, and it was probably time to let go of the fantasy.
The cell phone she’d barely even used before was now always within arm’s reach. She hadn’t given him the number, but it would be easy enough for him to get ahold of. It started to buzz on the desk, and her gaze naturally darted straight to the screen. Ginger.
“Hey.” She turned back to her computer screen, disappointed in herself for still jumping whenever her phone made a noise. “What are you up to?”
“Eatin’ licorice.” Ginger chewed noisily.
“You’re back in Seattle?”
“Yup. We got in last night. Ugh, I’m still totally jetlagged. I need a serious coffee fix.”
Noah’s latest mission had required him to go to Mexico so he’d asked Ginger to come along. She’d spent a week and a half relaxing at a resort, sun tanning on sandy beaches while Noah handled his Adversus business during the day. He’d been able to spend almost every night with her.
“I don’t believe this, but I still have sand in my unmentionables. Sex on the beach is so hot when it’s happening, but the cleanup process is just outrageous.”
“Lucky bitch.” A wide smile crossed her face at her own crass remark, and Ginger burst into laughter on the other end of the line.
“How is Cali? Are things getting any brighter?”
“Uh, yeah.” Haley tried to sound perky. “Things are good here. I’m getting a lot of work done.”
“How’s your heart?” Ginger munched
on her candy.
“Still feels a little heavy, I guess.” She sighed, pushing through the deep longing. “I’ll get over it.” Hopefully. Eventually.
“Good. Of course you will. You’re a total ten.”
“I am nowhere near a ten, Ginge.” Haley found herself smiling.
“Well, I have some good news, but I hate to be all Susie Sunshine when your heart is hurting.”
She rolled her eyes with a grin. “Sunshine makes everyone feel better. What’s the news?”
“So, um…Noah gave me a big empty drawer.”
Haley creased her eyebrows. “Where?”
“In his bedroom. At, uh…you-know-who’s house. Now I have a place to put my clothes, and whatever else I want. Maybe he’ll give me some space in his bathroom too. And maybe someday we can get a place of our own together.”
“Oh wow, things are getting pretty serious. That’s exciting, Ginge.” Her mind kept drifting back to the mention of “you-know-who.”
“He isn’t here. Noah said he’s been out of the country.”
Her heart seized with adrenaline at the mention of Damian’s whereabouts. Out of the country? That information was somehow promising to her.
“Knock, knock.” Neil stood in the doorway to Haley’s office, holding up a white bag. “I have bagels.”
“Oh.” She forced a smile. Neil had arrived unexpectedly at Hawthorne Tower a few days earlier, hoping to gain access to the paranormal files for a case he was researching, though he’d spent little time doing any research. His persistent attention was beginning to agitate Haley. She wanted to be alone with her heartache, and he was not letting up. “I’m not hungry, but thank you.”
“You gotta eat sometime, Shortcake.” He traipsed to her desk and plunked down the bagels. “Come on. Eat with me.”
“Umm…” Haley watched him sit down across from her.
“Is that Neil? What’s he doing there?”
“I appreciate the bagels, Neil. Really.” She gave him a firm look, still holding the phone to her ear. “But I’m not hungry.”
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