by E. S. Moore
“What would you do in our situation?” He stared at me with a knowing look. “We cannot let others know we are here. He saw someone come in. He had to be dealt with.”
I couldn’t help but think back on the Cultist who had delivered Jonathan’s message. He hadn’t really deserved to die, but I couldn’t take the chance he might tell someone else where to find me. Jonathan was only doing what he thought was best for the Cult.
That didn’t mean I had to like it.
“The monitor outside the Den isn’t the only one we have,” Jonathan went on. “There are a few more feeds from around the campus so we can keep an eye on what’s happening close to our territory. We do not use it for the hunt, if that is what you are thinking.”
“It crossed my mind.”
“We only want to protect ourselves.”
It did make sense, more sense than I would have liked. I wondered how far-reaching their security system really was. Did they plant a camera out by my house? I might have to walk the grounds some night to find out.
“So what exactly do you want with me? I just finished a run and I typically don’t get involved in anything until I’ve had time to recuperate.”
Jonathan glanced at his two associates. Gregory’s smile had returned. Nathan was as tense as ever, and I saw him shake his head with the slightest of motions when Jonathan’s gaze swept over him. If I hadn’t been looking right at him, I would have missed it.
“We want you to come with us,” Jonathan said, turning back to me. “We will get you in the mansion and once inside, we want your help to take it down. We want you to kill Count Tremaine and the other vampires.”
“Tall order.”
“With four of us, it’s possible.” Jonathan ran a hand through his hair. What was left of it anyway. “Our main priority is getting Simon out of there alive and untainted. We would like to get out without having to kill any of the other werewolves, though I realize that won’t be possible. I will do what I can to convince some of them to join our cause.”
“How do you even know Simon is still alive? Have you talked to him since his capture? I wouldn’t put it past a vampire Count to kill an enemy and lie about it until he gets what he wants.”
Jonathan took a deep breath. The thought obviously troubled him. “We have only Tremaine’s word at the moment. But as long as there is a chance, I can’t turn my back on Simon. I will demand to see him as soon as we are inside, of course. Once I see that the Denmaster is safe, we can make our move.”
He made it sound almost easy. I had to admit, it was intriguing. Even if the plan failed, I should be able to go in and kill a few vamps and wolves before slipping away. With any luck, the Cult and House Tremaine would kill each other off and I could just mop up whatever remained later.
“So how do you plan on doing this without weapons?” I asked. “Taking down an entire House like that won’t be easy with them. It’s damn near impossible without some sort of firepower.”
Jonathan glanced at his associates and frowned. “We were hoping you could help us with that part,” he admitted. “I am pretty sure they will check us over at the door. You don’t exactly look like a Cultist, nor do you smell like a wolf. Your scent is ... different. Their sniffers would pick you out immediately.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“There may be another way in, but we don’t know the layout of the mansion well enough to be sure. If we can get you past their sniffers, then perhaps there will be a way to get you armed.”
I rubbed my temples. Why was I here again? “I won’t go in without my weapons.”
“Then we must come up with a way to get them inside with you.”
“No.”
I was so surprised by the strange, deep voice, I actually jumped. Nathan rose to his feet. He turned on Jonathan with his hands balled into fists.
“Sit down,” Jonathan said, his voice tight.
“We can’t trust her,” Nathan said, jabbing his thumb at me. “She’s too dangerous. We can’t let her have her weapons while the rest of us go unarmed. She could turn on us at any moment. She is one of them.”
“She has her weapons now,” Jonathan pointed out. “She could have used them at any point during our talks and we couldn’t have stopped her.”
Nathan glared at me. His eyes were tinged yellow.
“He has a point,” I said, smiling. “I could have killed you ten times over if I had wanted.”
Nathan’s upper lip lifted in a sneer, but his eyes betrayed him. They had bled back to full human. He had regained at least some control of his emotions. “You could try it.”
I almost laughed. I had to give him credit, he was pretty confident despite the odds. I was the one with the weapons.
“Sit down,” Jonathan repeated, his voice hard. He stood and leaned on his desk, his fists bunched. His face was red with anger, and I was afraid the side of his head might split open from the stress of controlling all that rage.
“If someone goes furry, they are losing their heads,” I said, looking from one wolf to the next.
Nathan’s jaw tightened so much I heard it pop. He sat back down on the couch so hard it bounced Gregory about an inch into the air. The big wolf sat stiff and refused to look anywhere but directly in front of him.
Jonathan glared at him a moment longer before easing back onto his chair. There was a beep from in front of him and he glanced down at the monitor built into his desk. The tension seemed to ooze out of him and his smile returned.
“Tell you what,” I said. I wanted to get out of there before someone’s control broke and I had to start killing people. “I’ll look the place over tomorrow night. I know where Tremaine’s mansion is. If I remember right, there is a hill covered by some trees behind it. I can scout from there.”
Jonathan nodded slowly. “If you can get in with your gear, we can find a way to have you meet up with the rest of us once we are all inside. We will need to make sure you are dressed for the occasion. You won’t be able to go in dressed like that.”
I didn’t like the idea of wearing anything else but my work attire. But right then, I wasn’t going to argue. I refused to go into a hostile situation without my weapons. It might mean House Tremaine will become the most powerful House in all the state, maybe even the country, but at least I knew who to kill to keep my secrets from getting out if it came to that.
“We could dress you as a new member, give you the tattoo ...” Jonathan was speaking more to himself than to me, but I wasn’t about to let that last comment slide.
“No way,” I said. “I’m not getting inked for this.”
“Relax,” he said, smiling. “It would be one of our fakes. We give them to initiates who want to test the waters before leaping head first into the Cult. If they don’t like what we have to offer, then they are free to go and can wash off our mark. It allows them to meld back into society without having a constant reminder of their former allegiances stamped across their face.”
“You let them go?” I doubted it.
“They are never allowed to come to the Den as initiates, or even know where it is located. We have places within the city where they stay. Most of the Cultists you see out on the streets are from these ancillary groups. The ones who are too violent, too attracted to death, but do not wish to leave the Cult itself, often remain in these groups. They are not allowed into the true Luna Cult.”
I nodded. It made sense to a point. I had always thought the Luna Cult was a life sentence. It stood to reason that the sort of life the Cultists led was not for everyone. How often does a teenager change their mind about what they want to do with their lives?
“Scout the mansion,” Jonathan said, rising. “I will eagerly await your results.”
“How am I supposed to get hold of you?” I asked, standing.
“You frequent The Bloody Stake, correct?” I nodded. “I will have Gregory stay close to the area. If you have anything to pass on to us, just go to the Stake and he will find you
.”
Jonathan reached a hand across the desk. I stared at it like it was a snake for a long moment before finally crossing the short distance between us. I took his hand in my own. It was actually warm and comforting. We shook.
“I hope you can find a way inside. I’m not sure how else we are going to get you in with your weapons. We can’t do this without you.”
I dropped his hand and resisted the urge to wipe it on my pants. As comforting as his touch might have been, it still felt like I had just shaken hands with the devil. Maybe I had.
“I will find a way in,” I said. I started for the door.
“Oh, and Kat?”
I stopped and glanced back. I was surprised at the warmth in his smile, as if I had made his day just being in the same room with him.
“Thank you.”
I nodded and left the room. No one bothered me as I crossed the Den and headed for the front door. The Cultists watched me go without trying to stop me.
I paused at the door leading to the empty green. I had half a mind to turn around and tell Jonathan to forget everything. Did I really want to get involved in what amounted to a war between vampires and werewolves?
I smiled. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, after all. There was a good chance they would all kill each other. It would make my job a whole hell of a lot easier if they did.
I pushed open the doors and stepped out into the brisk chill of night, leaving the Luna Cult Den behind.
13
I had to fight the urge to draw my gun and stalk my property when I returned home. I believed Jonathan when he said no one else knew where I lived, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. He was a werewolf. Could I really trust him? And who was to say that someone hadn’t followed Joshua, the Luna Cult messenger, to my home?
But I managed. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to go out and check the tree line. I did. I just didn’t feel like making the effort. My heart was resting somewhere in the vicinity of my stomach after having old memories dredged back up. It was making me cranky.
I knocked on the side door after testing it to make sure it was locked. I stood in the garage, my head hanging as low as my heart, and waited for Ethan to let me in.
It took him a good three minutes to get there. I had to knock more than once, and with each hammering of my fist, my agitation grew. This whole thing was becoming a big mess, bigger than I had anticipated.
I pushed open the door as soon as Ethan disengaged the lock. I walked past him without a hello or a second glance. He was alive. That was good enough for me.
He stepped aside without a word. This wasn’t the first time I had come home in a funk. He knew better than to say anything until I was settled in, back in “home mode” rather than “kill mode.”
I went straight up the stairs and into my room, closing the door behind me. I shrugged out of my coat, removed my belt and shoulder holster, and tossed the entire bundle onto a chair. I peeled out of my clothes, exchanging leather for flannel pants and a too-large T-shirt that hung nearly to my knees.
I stood there a long moment, staring at my reflection in the mirror. There was no hint of the vampire I had become. If I were to go by looks alone, I probably could pass as a scared, if not a bit hardened, young woman. It was hard to believe there was a monster hiding somewhere within that soft-seeming exterior. Even my black hair didn’t betray the darkness that lurked inside.
I hated looking at myself like that. I knew what I was, knew what I had done. No matter how I looked, I was a monster. Nothing could change that.
But that didn’t stop me from wishing.
I closed my eyes and didn’t open them again until I was turned away from the mirror. I went to my bureau and opened the bottom drawer. Slowly, almost reverently, I removed old clothing I hadn’t worn for years and set them aside. Each piece was a memory I didn’t want, a memory I couldn’t forget. They reminded me of a life I no longer had.
Right then, I needed to remember.
Buried beneath the old clothing was a small wooden box. My hand trembled over it, hesitating. I wasn’t really sure I wanted to look at what was inside. It would only serve to open the wounds that were already beginning to fray. Looking at what was inside would be like poking at a wound to see if it would still bleed.
I snatched the box out of the drawer, angry at myself for even hesitating. I was stronger than that. This was something I needed to do. I needed to remind myself why I kept going, why I did what I did.
Hands trembling despite my self-reproach, I clutched the box to my chest. I kicked the drawer closed for good measure and made my way to my bed. I sat down on the floor, cross-legged, using the bed for a backrest. I ran my finger over the unadorned lid of the box, felt the grain of it, let it soothe me.
It almost worked. If it wasn’t for the knowledge of what was inside, I might have sat there until morning just touching it. Memories were just that, memories. They could be forgotten, brought back whenever the need arose. Or they could work at you, eat at your core until nothing was left.
I wouldn’t let that happen. My past was my past, I knew that. It wasn’t like I would ever forget what had happened. I just needed a little reminding every now and again.
The key was already in the lock at the front of the box. I never had a reason ever to take it out. Ethan would never go through my things, and it was unlikely anyone would care about what was inside anyway. They wouldn’t be valuable to anyone but me.
I turned the key and flipped open the lid. I gathered the contents in hands that were still shaking. No one else would have noticed their slight tremble, the way my fingers twitched almost involuntarily. Only someone of my enhanced senses would notice it. I noticed it.
There were four photos in all. The first was of Ethan and I, standing next to each other. My arms were crossed and an irritated look marred my face. Ethan looked overjoyed. He had wanted the picture, had set the timer on the camera himself.
I set the picture aside with hardly a glance. It was only in the box with the others just in case something happened to him. Or he got old and died on me. That was something I didn’t want to think about. A vampire’s life span isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I had no desire to see anyone I care about grow old and die. But what could I do? I wasn’t going to taint him.
The next photograph was of my mom and dad. It was taken before the Uprising, and they looked as happy as two people could be together. Children were just a distant dream to them then. They were young. Innocent.
It had taken me a long time to find that picture. It wasn’t as if I could just go home to retrieve it after they had died. After Valentino’s wolves killed everyone in the area, rogue wolves moved in, claiming the territory for their own. The place had been swarming with them, still was. Going there to retrieve this one memory had nearly cost me my life.
I ran my finger gently along each smiling face, wishing I could touch them for real. It was my fault they were dead. I would never forgive myself for that.
I set the photograph reverently on top of the one of Ethan and I. The next picture was of my mom and dad with a baby Thomas. He had to have been no more than three months old at the time. There was a trail of drool running down his chin, and he was staring at something hovering just over the cameraman’s head.
I stared long and hard at the photo, burning its image into my brain. I had almost forgotten that drool, that innocent look. I tried not to think too hard about it. There had been time yet for them to be happy. Monsters were just legends. They had happiness. They knew love and life, and all that went with it. What had it been like to enjoy a child without worrying about whether your precious baby would end up some monster’s lunch?
Or worse, become one of them.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before setting the picture aside and looking at the next photograph.
The picture was of Thomas and I, standing arm in arm, dressed to kill. Literally. We thought we were invincible, that we could walk int
o any vampire House and kill anyone we chose. We had stuck to rogues mostly, since an actual House was a bit much for us at the time. We learned that the hard way.
It was also before the tainting of my blood. My skin was tanned back then, though I had little sun. I just tanned real easy. My hair was long and curled, dyed a deep crimson that had long ago faded. I didn’t have my current stock of silver weapons, just a plain sword I had been given by someone who was much better at what I did than I was. I had a regular old gun, a couple of stakes that turned out to be hardly useful, and a bowie knife I used to saw off vampire heads when the sword just wouldn’t do.
Thomas was dressed just the same. We both were wearing camo, which was silly in itself, considering we worked in the city. Every time I thought about those days, I had to wonder how we ever survived intact as long as we did.
Thomas’s brown eyes stared out at me from the photograph. He had gotten our mother’s eyes. They were deep, soulful eyes. People had often commented on how different we were, but so alike. Even our eyes were a different color, his brown to my blue. His cheekbones were higher, his brow wider.
But the similarities were there. Always had been. We had always stuck together, stayed by each other’s side. He had always protected me.
I don’t know how long I sat there staring at the picture of us together. Eventually, a soft knock at the door brought me out of my trance. I blinked and turned my head to the door, but didn’t answer. I wasn’t sure I had a voice to answer with.
The knock came again and the door opened slowly. Ethan poked his head in, looked at me, looked at what I held in my hands, and then made his slow way across the room. He sat down on the floor next to me.
“I owe a lot to the both of you, you know,” he said, sucking in a heavy breath. “If it wasn’t for both you and your brother, I wouldn’t be here today.”
I didn’t say anything. I gathered all four pictures and returned them to their resting place within the box. I remained sitting, staring at the closed lid as if I could see through it to the pictures inside. I was afraid to speak, afraid my resolve would break and I would bawl like a baby.