by Lacey Black
“I don’t want to go,” she whispers, her words like tiny daggers.
“I’m sorry you have to move.” And I mean it. I hate that she’s so upset over this, especially when she has no control over it.
She sniffles again, and might even wipe her nose on my shirt. “I’m sorry that your girlfriend broke up with you.”
I snort. “I’m not.”
Sidney pushes against my chest and sits up. I’m met with crystal eyes shimmering like diamonds. Her breath fans against my face and her hands burn my chest through my shirt. When her gaze drops down to my lips, every ounce of blood my body possesses rushes straight below my belt. Air gets stuck in my throat, as her eyes remain locked on my lips, devouring me with a hunger I’ve never seen from any girlfriends I’ve had in the past.
My mind flashes back to our shared kiss four years ago, and I can’t help but wonder if this one would be just as memorable as the first. Instinct has us both wetting our lips. Excitement and electricity races through my taut body as I slowly move forward, inch by inch, gauging her reaction. The inevitable is coming. I swear to Christ we’ve danced around this moment for a while now, and I’m not about to let this opportunity slip away.
Sidney’s eyes flutter closed the moment my lips press against hers. She’s soft and tastes like sugar. She’s everything I remember and everything I crave.
Before I can contemplate on whether or not it’s appropriate to deepen the kiss, Sidney makes the decision for the both of us. Her mouth opens just a bit and her sexy little tongue slips out and slides against my lips. I’m so fucking hard in my pants I could bore a hole through bedrock.
Wrapping my hands around the back of her neck, I tilt her head upward, giving me the perfect angle to devour. I slide my tongue against hers, soaking up every mewl and moan she makes. Delicate fingers grip my shirt tightly, pulling me until her chest is pressed firmly against mine. My brain officially short circuits. The little head is now legitimately making all decisions.
I want to take this further. Shit, I want to take this all the way. But this is Sidney we’re talking about. She deserves so much more than a roll in the bed of a pickup truck. She deserves a bed and maybe some soft music playing in the background. Not someone who fucks and chucks her. Though that thought doesn’t settle too well with me. She will never be a hump and dump. She has always been more; even if neither one of us really knew it.
“Luke?” she whispers when I pull back, applying the brakes and allowing reason to settle in.
“I’m sorry, Sid. I got a little carried away. I shouldn’t have kissed you.” The words seem logical, but my dick is trying to crawl its way through my pants to join the conversation.
“I think, technically, I kissed you.” Her smile is wide and illuminates the sky brighter than the lights along the runway.
“True, but I think we probably shouldn’t do that again. You’re leaving in the morning.”
“You are correct, I am leaving in the morning.” She seems to chew on whatever she’s about to say, mulling it over and strengthening her resolve. “You are my friend. Hell, you’re probably my best friend. The thought of leaving here, leaving you, terrifies me.” She’s silent for a few moments, but I can tell she has more to say, so I wait. “I want something from you, Luke.”
“Anything.” And I mean it. I’ll do whatever she asks me because, even though I’ve never admitted it, she’s my best friend too.
“I want you to make love to me.” Her words are soft, but scream at me with the force of a thousand speakers cranked up to the max.
“Excuse me?” I ask, my words barely above audible.
“I don’t want my first time to be with some random guy in Atlanta. I want it to be special, with someone I care for and respect. I want it to be you.”
My throat is so dry, I can’t speak. My mind is foggy and my blood pumping recklessly through my body. I’m clearly hallucinating here, because there is no way Sidney–sweet, innocent, beautiful little Sidney–asked me to take her virginity. No fucking way in hell.
“I can see you trying not to freak out right now, but you need to know that I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t trust you completely. It has to be you, Luke.” Her aqua eyes find mine once again, searching and pleading with me. Those damn eyes are my undoing. “Please?”
That one word seals my fate, and she knows it. I’ve never been able to tell her no, deny her anything when she looks at me with those big doe eyes and says that one little word: please.
My internal war rages on as I try to figure out what to do. My mind tells me that this is Sidney, my friend and neighbor, but the eighteen-year-old male side of me tells me to take what she’s offering. I mean its better me than some random loser who isn’t worthy of her, right? Hell, I’m not worthy of her and I know it. She’s too good, too pure, too perfect for me. I know it, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting what she’s offering.
Sensing my struggle, Sidney leans over and runs her hand down my cheek. My body reacts on its own as I turn my face into her touch and close my eyes, basking in the feel of her skin against mine.
And then her lips touch mine once more. Fire rages through me, consuming and possessing me. I grip my eyes closed and know what my answer is, what my answer always is. I will take what she’s offering me, give her what she’s requesting, because I have no choice. I want to give her everything.
The kiss escalates quickly into a fumble of hands and awkward movements. My usual finesse appears to be long gone tonight. No doubt nerves have me firmly by the balls.
Needing a moment to collect my thoughts, I shuffle us until I can lay her flat on her back. Hovering over her, I place gentle kisses across her cheeks, her lips, and her nose. Sidney shifts my shirt until her hands are pressed against my back. The contact sears me in the best way possible.
Adjusting my weight, I reach up one-handed and remove my shirt. Sidney splays her fingers across my bare chest causing muscles to jump and twitch. I keep my eyes locked on hers as I slowly slide her dress up her smooth thighs. With each inch of exposed skin, my resolve slips further and further from my grip.
My eyes devour the simplest pair of blue cotton panties, damp at the junction between her silky white thighs. Her breath hitches in her throat as I continue to expose more flesh.
When the dress hits her chest and I’m unable to push it upward anymore, Sidney sits up slightly to allow me access to remove her dress completely. A killer case of the nerves kicks in when she lies beneath me, wearing nothing but her blue panties and matching bra. My dick throbs painfully in my pants, and I’m terrified that I’m going to lose it before I even get the chance to get between her legs.
Sitting up on my haunches, I unbutton my pants. Sidney watches every move I make, taking it all in, as if committing every moment to memory. I stand up to completely rid myself of my pants, dropping my boxers right along with them.
When I look back up at Sidney, her eyes are wide. They bounce back and forth between me and my dick, surprise and anxiety battling against each other in her eyes. Reaching into my wallet, I pull out a condom and drop it next to where she lies on the blanket.
Returning my focus to her, I run my hands up the outsides of her thighs. I can feel the slight tremble as I reach her hips. Keeping my eyes locked on hers, I move upward until I skim her chest. Sidney gives me silence reassurance as I reach around and unhook her bra. Small, yet completely perfect tits are exposed as I remove the undergarment, and my mouth fucking waters to taste each one.
Making sure to keep eye contact, I lower my head and lick the first raspberry nipple. Sidney’s gasp is the only sound I hear as I gently suck and lap at one, then the other. Her body wriggles against mine, seeking out precious contact between her core and my throbbing erection. I’d love to give it to her, but I’m afraid I’ll blow my load if she so much as grinds against me right now. So instead, I focus on giving her as much pleasure and attention as I can to her flawless tits.
A
fter a few minutes, I lock eyes with her once again, and drag my hand back down her abdomen. When I reach the junction on her legs, I slow my movements, making it clear of my intentions. Sidney sucks in a deep breath as my fingers come in contact with wet, soft flesh. I find her clit swollen and pulsing and roll it between my thumb and first finger. The result is a groan in ecstasy that goes straight to my dick.
Knowing that this is her first time, I’m determined to make this special for her. I can’t give her a quickie in the bed of a pickup. I intend to give her as much pleasure as she can stand. And I’m going to start with this orgasm.
Sliding my finger through her wetness, I dip it inside her tight heat. I’m rewarded with another gasp as she grinds against my hand. Her tightness surrounds me as I move in a determined rhythmic pace. I curl my finger upward, calling upon a few of the tricks I’ve learned about the female body in the last two years. The result is instantaneous. Her muscles tighten around my finger and her moans fill the night sky. I gently massage her clit again, and the results send her soaring.
Her orgasm is endless, her body milking my finger for everything it’s worth. Satisfaction courses through me as I watch her face transform into one of pure pleasurable bliss.
When her tremors begin to subside, I remove my fingers from her body. I crave her taste like a wild animal craves blood. Bringing my finger up to my mouth, I keep my eyes firmly locked on hers as I place that finger in my mouth, sucking every bit of her juices off. Her eyes dilate until they’re navy blue. She watches me grab the condom. With slightly shaky fingers, I tear open the package and remove the latex. My dick pulses in my hand as I cover it with the protection.
That’s when my eyes find hers. She’s breathing hard with anticipation, and maybe a little uneasiness. Poising myself above her, I position myself at her entrance.
“Are you sure?” I ask. It would kill me if she threw on the brakes, but I could never force myself on her or any woman. If she said no, I’d stop immediately. My balls would probably turn purple and fall off, but I’d stop in a heartbeat if she wasn’t ready for this.
“I’ve never been more sure.” Her confession and confidence hitting me straight in the chest like an arrow. “Please, Luke.” Those two words and I’m lost.
Gently, I fight against my body’s need, and slowly enter her. She gasps as I pull back slightly and push forward once more. It’s a slow process to enter her, her body fighting against the invasion.
“Do you want me to stop?” I ask, stopping my movement when I’m halfway sheathed in her tightness.
Sidney shakes her head adamantly. “Don’t stop.”
“Relax, angel. Try to relax a bit.”
I feel her muscles release their death-grip hold on my dick, allowing me to slowly push in again. This time, there’s less restraint, and my body moves into hers a bit more freely. The gasp from her lips is laced with pain, and it kills me to see her hurting because of me.
When I’m completely seated, I break eye contact and close my eyes. Dammit all to hell! Nothing in the history of the world has ever felt as good as this, as being inside of Sidney Rogen.
“Are you okay?” I whisper.
“God, yes. Please don’t stop,” she begs, scoring her nails against my back.
My lips are more insistent when they find hers. I feel everything with her as my body starts to pick up the pace on its own. As much as I try to keep this slow and gentle, my body just won’t listen to reason. Need. Desire. That’s what is speaking to my body. That’s what is driving me.
Sidney wraps her legs high on my hips, opening herself up to me and changing the angle just a bit. When I drive into her, she gasps and groans in bliss. The noises she makes are like an accelerant to an already blazing fire. It consumes me.
The base of my spine starts to tingle and I know that the end is near. As much as I’ve tried to hold off, my own need for release is completely taking over. Refusing to move my hands from their gentle caress of her face and neck, I shift my hips slightly and drive into her at an upward angle. The friction causes a chain reaction. Her muscles clamp down on me like a vise, pulling me inward and refusing to let go.
Her orgasm sweeps in, leaving her breathless and euphoric. She breaks eye contact as they roll back in her head. It also triggers my impending release. I pump myself hard into her body as I come with enough force to possibly blow a hole in the rubber.
Panting, I drop my forehead against hers and fight the collapse my body needs. The last thing I want to do is crush her, so I keep my arms locked and my legs tight. My body burns with exhaustion, yet my lips are alive as they nibble her sweet, swollen ones.
“That was…wow,” she says hoarsely.
“Yeah.”
“Is it always that amazing?” That hint of shyness that I adore is evident in her question and causes my groin to take notice.
“No.” My brain can’t seem to form anything other than one word sentences at the moment.
“Oh,” she mumbles, pushing against my chest.
I let her up, running the last few seconds back through my mind. What the hell did I say? When I sit back, I slide out from her warm, wet heat and feel the loss of something I’m not prepared to dissect at this moment.
“Wait,” I start, reaching forward and taking her head in my hands. “That doesn’t mean what you think. When I said it wasn’t always that amazing, I didn’t mean that it wasn’t amazing for me. What I meant was that it isn’t always that amazing because it has never been that amazing for me.”
Her aqua eyes sparkle in the moonlight. “It was amazing for you?” she asks, her words just above a whisper.
“It was better than amazing. It was perfect.” I lean forward and caress the lips swollen from my kisses.
“It was, wasn’t it?” Sidney smiles against my lips as I playfully nip and suck.
After several minutes of getting lost in her kiss, I pull back and take in the sight of her. Tussled hair, sparkling eyes, and a damn sexy body, limbs entwined with mine, will surely keep my dreams company as I go off to college.
“Thank you.” Those two words mean so much more than ever before.
“It was my pleasure,” I say, punctuating it with another kiss. “And I’m pretty sure it was your pleasure, too. Twice.”
Her giggle brings an easy smile to my lips and fills my heart with happiness. I’ve spent a crazy amount of time with this girl over the last decade, but never has it meant more to me than it does right now. Never has she meant more to me than she does right now.
Without saying any more, we both stand up and dress. She’s slow to put on her panties, and I know she’ll be sore tomorrow. There’s also no mistaking the tinge of blood on the condom when I remove it. I hate that I hurt her, but am thankful for this moment.
The ride back to my house is quiet. Our fingers are linked together between us, but no words are spoken. What do you say to the girl who gives you her virginity and is about to leave, probably never to be seen or heard from again? Fuck if I know.
I park my truck in the street and notice most of the vehicles are gone. I’m sure Mom is going to read me the riot act for disappearing during my own graduation party, but I don’t care. It was worth it.
Pulling my keys from the ignition, I turn and face my friend. Tear-filled eyes are trained on me, silently saying the words that neither of us wants to speak. I’m not sure who moves first, but we meet in the middle of the truck cab, clinging to each other as if the other were the very oxygen we breathe. My heart rips in two, bleeding a slow, painful death. Sydney grips at the back of my shirt, squeezing the life out of the material as if that could somehow change our fate.
I lean forward and press my forehead against hers. Tears drip from her eyes onto my shirt, each one a crystal dagger that punctures my soul. I place my lips softly against hers for the last time. I taste the salt from her tears and the sweetness of her skin. It’s heaven and hell.
“Luke?” she whispers int
o the quiet.
“Yeah?”
“Promise me you’ll never forget me. Us.”
I choke on my emotions, on my saliva, on my air. I choke on everything bubbling up to the surface like a tsunami of pain and heartache. I don’t give a shit if I look like the biggest pussy in Vegas. I don’t give a shit if my brother sees the tears brimming in my own eyes. I only give a shit about this one declaration: “I promise.”
Sidney closes her eyes and exhales deeply. When she opens them, the light is gone. In its place is pure sadness and loneliness. I feel it wash through the truck, dragging us both under with its current.
But before I can try to rekindle that light in her eyes, she opens the passenger door. I reach for her hand and hold on tight, afraid to let go. She looks back at me one last time. An entire lifetime of conversations is held in that one look. A look that will forever haunt me. So many things left unsaid.
With one final watery smile, Sidney leans in and kisses me before hopping out of the vehicle. She doesn’t look back as she hurries towards her neighboring house. I don’t know if I’m thankful she doesn’t see the tears in my eyes or not, but they’re there nonetheless.
She steps up to her front door, but hesitates to go in. I silently will her to come back to my truck, to come back to whatever in the hell it is we just started.
But she doesn’t.
Sidney steps inside and gently closes the door behind her.
And I’m left alone in my truck knowing that when I wake up tomorrow she’ll be gone. Before I exit the truck and head into my own house, I sit there in silence and say goodbye to my oldest friend. The one I teased mercilessly and tirelessly. The one whose hair I pulled, whose tea parties I ruined, and whose dolls I trashed. The one who, tonight, in the bed of my truck beneath the moonlight and the landing of planes, gave me the greatest gift anyone could possibly give me.
Tonight, I said goodbye to the girl I didn’t even realize I loved until the moment she walked away.
Chapter One – Lost In The Silence