by Lacey Black
I watch as she glances at the door, which only causes my anxiety to rise. I know he’s here. Even if the nurse hadn’t told me about his arrival, I would have felt his appearance. I’m drawn to him like never before and that’s what makes this afternoon so confusing. I’ve never felt anything but adoration and, dare I say it, love when it comes to Luke. He treats me like I’m a treasure, not some sidepiece to fill his time until something new and more exciting comes along.
That’s what makes this entire situation all so confusing. My head is telling me to look at the whole picture, but my bleeding heart is overruling everything my brain is saying. All I can think about, focus on, is the pain that comes from his betrayal. And even though it hurts more than anything I’ve experienced thus far in my short twenty-seven years, I still yearn to see him.
Jeopardy! is on TV, but I don’t really hear it. I haven’t heard a word since I arrived and got settled into this room. Carly has been by my side the entire time, dropping whatever she was doing to be with me in my time of need. She’s sitting in the chair, absently staring at the game show, but continually keeps watching the door.
I feel his presence before I see him enter the room. All air is sucked from the small space when his frantic eyes search and land on me. Time stands still as he makes his way into the room I’ve been laid up in for the last hour. His hair is unruly as if he’s run his hands through it a thousand times. Green eyes search me from head to toe over and over again, the concern seeping from them as evident as the night sky on the other side of the window.
Luke opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He looks from the monitor at my side to the IV in my arm and then back down to cords that disappear beneath the standard hospital nightgown. He has questions, I know, but so do I. The problem is that I’m not sure this is the time or place for mine.
Suddenly, he’s moving until he’s standing right beside me. Wordlessly, he drops to his knees, his arms level with the bed. His eyes lock on mine, a typhoon of emotions raging in them. I see everything: his fear, his hurt, his love, his reverence. It’s spinning around, mixing together in a giant wave of feelings. My gut churns from uncertainty, with my own flood of emotions.
Keeping his eyes locked on mine, he pushes down the white blanket just enough to bare my stomach. The gown is gathered up around my waist since the doctor was just in to check me. Warm hands slowly slide beneath the thin material. My breath catches, but not in a sexual way. There’s nothing sexual about this moment.
Luke’s hand scorches my skin as it rests widely across my abdomen. He’s careful not to move the wires attached to my body. The contact makes my heart rate jump, the monitor betraying the cool and calm exterior I try to keep in place. With the slightest touch, Luke Thomas is knocking down every wall I quickly built around my fragile heart. He plows through my resolve as if he owns me.
And damn it, he does.
Cloudy green eyes, watch me as he gently rubs my stomach, soothing the ache and hurt I feel inside. I’m so confused by his actions and the vibes he’s putting off. How can someone who’s already replaced me look at me with so much love and adoration pouring from his body?
“I’m going to step outside and give you two a few moments alone,” Carly says, but neither of us acknowledges her exit.
Emerald eyes finally drop to look at his hands. They’re masked by the gown I’m wearing, but that doesn’t stop him from gently pushing it upward, exposing my bare midsection. I don’t have time to be embarrassed by his actions when he moves forward, his lips go to where his hand recently touched.
I gasp at the touch, at the tenderness, the rightness of his lips gently caressing my stomach where our babies are still nestled, growing and thriving within me. His eyes close as he turns his head to face me, resting his cheek on my flesh. A deep breath leaves his mouth, loud and slowly. It’s as if he’s finally able to breathe.
Tears seep from my eyes, unstoppable and unchecked. Gazing down at the man I love, he looks at peace resting on my stomach, a small smile playing on the corner of his full lips. Is this a dream? Do I get to keep the man who looks so serene lying against me? Or is this just a mirage, a figment of my imagination and hopeful, wishful thinking that I’ll have to give him back to another woman in a matter of minutes?
When his eyes open, they’re filled with tears. Like my own, they slip from the corners of his eyes and fall down his skin. Realizing I’m crying, he’s moving towards me, touching my face with his warm fingers. He stops the tears from falling, but can’t stop the pain in my heart. Seeing him so caring and loving leaves me confused. How can this man invite another woman into his home hours after leaving mine?
“Don’t cry, angel. Please don’t cry. Seeing your tears guts me.”
I sniffle very unladylike and blink rapidly to clear my eyes. “What are you doing here?” I ask.
He looks up at me, surprised. “Where else would I be?” He swallows audibly. “Are they…okay? Are you okay?”
Blinking again, I answer his questions. “They’re fine. I’m fine.”
“You’re sure? The doctor checked them out and everything’s really okay?” he asks, almost like he’s afraid to hope.
“Yes, the doctor checked. My abdomen has been cramping lately, but today got really bad. I thought something was wrong. Turns out, it was round ligament pain, which apparently if fairly common, especially in first pregnancies or with multiples.”
He exhales again loudly and drops his head to my stomach. Warm fingers thread through mine. The meaning isn’t lost on me. Our hearts are entwined as tightly as our fingers are now. Even if he doesn’t choose me in the end, I will forever be tangled with this man.
“I was so scared,” he confesses, turning and looking up at me.
“They’re fine. I’m going to be discharged shortly. The doctor wanted me to have IV fluids first, but I’ll be able to head home soon.”
“You didn’t call me. I know you were upset before, but you should have called me.”
I tense beneath him. Partly because he’s right and I should have called him, because these are his babies, but also partly because we’re going to have this conversation now. Here. I know it needs to happen, but a part of me was hoping I could get home and prepare myself for the discussion. But now I’m left with no choice but to rip off the Band-Aid and watch it bleed.
“You’re right. I should have. I promise I will in the future where the babies are concerned,” I tell him, steeling my back and my mind.
“And what about you? What about where you’re concerned?” he asks, his face void of readable emotion.
“I’m not your concern anymore.” The words hurt. Bad.
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. You’re my primary concern. Always have been and always will be.”
Why does he have to say such sweet, perfect things? Luke has always been charming but I’m not strong enough to deal with this side of him now when I’m preparing to have my heart shattered.
“The fact that your ex-girlfriend was at your house today, naked in your shower, tells me otherwise.”
He looks pained as he gazes up at me. “That’s all one big fucking misunderstanding, angel. I didn’t invite her there. My mom gave her a key.” He takes another deep breath before continuing. “A week or so ago, Jess showed up at my house and needed help. Her ex isn’t the best kinda guy, and apparently was tailing her. I connected her with an old friend of mine with the FBI. That night you found me in the kitchen talking on the phone, I was talking to him about her case. I lied to you because I didn’t want to upset you with unnecessary Jess-drama, so I told you it was work-related. I’m so fucking sorry I lied, but I thought it was for your own good.”
I take in his confession, grateful to finally be able to put the pieces together. “I would have understood if you would have told me the truth.”
“I know,” he says, dropping his forehead again to my stomach. “I thought I was protecting you. I know I fucked up,
but today wasn’t me. I was just as surprised to find her in my house as you were. Mom showed up a few minutes after I got there and I freaked out. Turns out, she’s been so crazy protective of me because I was a twin. They lost my sibling early in the pregnancy.”
“Oh my God,” I whisper, unable to comprehend the thought of losing one of my children.
“Yeah,” he adds, shaking his head. “It doesn’t excuse her actions or her behavior towards you, or anyone else for that matter, but it helps me understand her a bit more. She told me all about that part of her, and I told her all about my feelings for you.”
My heartbeat quickens. “You’re feelings for me?” I ask, encouraging him to go on. “What did you say?”
“I told her that you are my everything. You and me and our babies were going to be a family because I love you, and being without you isn’t an option. It’s like the sun not coming up in the morning or the sky not being blue. It just is. I can’t stop it or control it because you’re a part of me; a part of me that I’m not willing to let go of.”
Once again, I find tears streaming silently down my face. His words are the sweetest music I’ve ever heard. The walls around my heart crumble completely as he takes my head in his hands.
“I love you so fucking much that I can’t breathe without you. We’re a family, angel. You’re my sunshine in the dark. You’re everything good and beautiful in this world, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you slip through my fingers again. God put you on this planet for me. Do you understand that?”
I nod my head, unable to speak. I do understand because that’s exactly how I feel. He’s my other half, the part of my soul that has been missing for ten years. He’s my best friend. He’s my everything.
His lips are on mine, slow and sweet, but with that touch of urgency that only Luke can inflict. My tongue slides against his, my body coming alive with my desire for him. He kisses me for what feels like hours, until we’re both breathless and yearning for more. If I only kiss this one man for the rest of my life, I’d die a satisfied and happy woman.
Pulling back, our eyes lock once more. “I knew you were someone special when I was eight years old,” he says grazing his plump lips against my swollen ones.
“Is that before or after you pushed me down and I skinned my knee?”
“You know what they say; boys have a weird way of showing girls that they like them.”
“Are you going to push me down now?”
“Never. I’ve learned that just telling you that I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you is a way better way to get the girl’s attention.”
I gasp. “You have my attention,” I say, wide-eyed.
He nuzzles my nose, seemingly unable to stop touching me. “Not here, angel. When I ask you to marry me, it’ll be the right way. But know that it’s coming, because I’m sure as fuck not letting you go. In fact, I can’t wait to make you mine.”
“Silly boy,” I say with a smile. “I’ve always been yours.”
“Damn right, you’ve been.”
He comes in for another kiss, his hands gently holding my jaw. “I love you,” he whispers against my lips.
“I love you too,” I reply, reveling in the way it feels to finally say those words out loud. Complete. Peaceful. Final.
Epilogue – As Big As A House
Luke
5 months later
Mom grabs the bowl of popcorn, gives me a knowing smile, and heads back into the living room. My entire family is enjoying a lazy Sunday evening, while watching the latest Disney movie with Natalia and Jacobi. I came into the kitchen a few minutes ago to try to calm down. My nervousness is so freaking evident that Sid has asked me three times since the movie started if I was okay.
Am I okay?
I’ve got the woman I love beside me, my family surrounding me, and twin boys that I’m a matter of weeks away from meeting. So yeah, I’d say I’m pretty fucking okay.
Slipping back into the living room, I find Mom and Natalia snuggled in her chair, eating popcorn, Dad’s sawing logs in his own chair, and Blake and Carly cuddle together with baby Bentley between them. My nephew arrived in the world two months ago in a fashion fitting of a Thomas. He was loud, demanding, and doing it his own way. After only three hours of labor, Carly pushed the eight and a half pound screamer into the world. He was two weeks early, but perfectly healthy nonetheless, and has stolen my brother’s heart more than I could have imagined.
Watching my brother with his family, specifically his new son, left me yearning for the moment that becomes my reality. His eyes are constantly on his wife as she nurses their child or he’s touching Bent’s pudgy little cheeks while he’s sleeping. My big, badass brother is a pussy when it comes to his wife and kids.
And then I glance over and see Sidney, shifting to get comfortable on the couch beside her brother. Her belly is huge, protruding almost unnaturally from her mid-section. Her red hair falls loosely around her glowing face and her eyes sparkle like aquamarine stones under bright lights. She’s gorgeous. Breathtaking. Even though she says she’s as big as a house, I still only see the radiant beauty who stole my heart as a child.
Jacobi has been living with us for almost five months. After everything that went down with Mick, Penny decided she wanted to travel the world, spending the money she received from her late husband. The hotel was no longer hers, something she still claims to have no knowledge about. I’m still not sure if I believe her or not. I mean, she’s flighty enough to really not comprehend that Mick was playing her all along too. If she helmed the hotel, he’d have a better chance at taking it over.
Sidney’s little brother is happier with us. He’s thriving in school and loving spending time with Sid, preparing for the twins’ arrival. Sid sold her penthouse and I sold my little two bedroom house, and together, we bought a place in the same subdivision as Blake and Carly. There’s plenty of room for the five of us, and possibly another one down the road.
As for the hotel, Sid and Jacobi still own it. However, Reid Hunter put together a strong team and is managing it on their behalf. Sid promoted Cassidy to events coordinator, and happily walked away from that part of her life. She has the stability of a thriving hotel, but doesn’t have to spend all of her time working a job she hates.
And speaking of jobs, remember when Blake and I agreed to hire an in-house bookkeeper and accountant? Finally, Sidney’s able to use that mathematical mind of hers on a daily basis. I wish she’d consider finishing her doctorate, but she says she’s content working beside me and preparing for the babies. Plus, her office is just down the hall from mine. Let’s just say Blake isn’t the only one having hot sex atop his desk.
Glancing up from the couch, our eyes meet. She offers me a warm smile and I know that my life is almost complete. Almost.
Walking over, I help her up from the couch. Everyone in the room tries to ignore me, but they’re unable to hide their smiles. Fortunately, Sid doesn’t notice their attention and follows me into the kitchen, our fingers entwined together.
As I reach the back door, she stops me. “Wait, I have to pee.” I smile at the woman I love as she slips into the half-bath off the kitchen for probably the tenth time since our arrival before dinner.
I wait, impatiently, for her to return to my side. My nerves have kicked into overdrive, and I find myself pacing the tile floor. What feels like ten minutes later, she finally emerges from the bathroom. “I can’t wait for the day where I can finally pee without having to practically roll off the toilet seat,” she mumbles.
Unable to stop myself, I smile at the distress on her face. She’s so fucking cute when she’s complaining, but I won’t say that out loud. I’m man enough to know when to keep my mouth shut. “Come on,” I say, taking her hand in mine again.
We walk together into the backyard. It’s a beautiful fall afternoon with the sun slowly dropping in the desert sky. Sid’s been miserable with the heat and swelling, and I�
�m glad that all of her discomfort will be coming to an end soon.
I steer her towards the small fort at the back of the property. Dad, Blake, and I put a little work into the old structure earlier this summer. Between Natalia, Jacobi, Bentley, and two more boys on the way, we figured it was worth saving the old building instead of tearing it down.
And I’m glad we did. It seems fitting on a day like today.
I move the new burlap curtain aside, allowing her to enter the small fort first. She gives me a withering look. “Really? Luke, it’s two hundred degrees out here. Why on earth are you bringing me to the fort right now? I promise we can have sex when we get home. There’s no need to sneak off in the middle of the movie. It’s not like everyone in there didn’t see us leave and will know what we’re doing. Your mom just started liking me. I don’t want to ruin it by corrupting her son in the middle of family time.”
This time, I laugh. “You are pretty shameless, angel. I hadn’t planned for sex, but now that you’re talking about it, I think I have a problem that needs a little attention,” I say with a smile and glance down at my growing erection.
What can I say? She’s hot as hell.
“Come on, angel. I have something to show you,” I say, opening back up the burlap curtain that covers the front door.
“I just bet you do have something to show me,” she mumbles as she carefully bends down and wobbles through the opening.
Before I can fully get inside the fort, I hear her gasp. She’s standing cockeyed, her head angled uncomfortably against the low ceiling, in the middle of the room. I’m practically doubled over by the low ceiling, but I can still see her reaction. Her eyes are wide and brimming with tears as she looks around the small space we used to play in. Battery operated candles are placed all over the wooden floor with large bouquets of red roses in every corner.