Trent was aching and sore after his sparring session with Justin but being able to look over and see the smile on Victoria’s face helped to ease the pain. He’d been watching something on television the night before when they’d showed someone in a wheelchair shooting. He’d wasted no time contacting Justin to see if it would be possible for Victoria. Clearly, it had been the success he’d hoped it would be. He was just so glad to be able to spend even more time with her doing something she enjoyed, too.
“My part of this deal was to make you a home-cooked meal,” Victoria said as he pulled out of the compound a little while later. “But you didn’t give me enough advanced warning.”
He reached over and took her hand, resting their intertwined fingers on the console between them. “You’ve cooked me quite a few wonderful meals lately. How about we go out to eat?”
“I’m not really dressed for dinner,” Victoria said.
He glanced over to see her frowning. “I’m not suggesting a five-star restaurant. Just someplace comfortable that serves good food.”
“Okay.”
She still didn’t sound entirely at ease with the idea, and Trent wasn’t sure why. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d been out in public together, although most their recent outings had been limited to the park or the ice cream parlor. In the end, he decided to go to the restaurant that Lucas was part owner of. Victoria had been there before so presumably would be more comfortable in that environment.
When he mentioned it, he could see the tension ease from her and knew he’d guessed right. He still didn’t understand her feelings about them being out in public together. Granted, they hadn’t gone to places like the mall which would have been crowded with people, but one of these days she would have to face that hurdle and realize it wasn’t as big a deal as she thought it would be.
He phoned ahead to see if Amber would save them a table which she readily agreed to do. When they arrived, she took them in immediately. It was barely five o’clock, so the evening rush hadn’t started yet.
“Take your time,” Amber said after seating them. “Someone will be here to get your drink order in a few minutes.”
It didn’t escape Trent’s notice that Victoria had taken the side of the booth that hid her from the view of most of the rest of the room. Of course, given the training he’d had through BlackThorpe, he would have insisted on taking the side that gave him the best view of the room. Same result but entirely different motivations.
But seeing her relaxed and comfortable, Trent didn’t bring it up. There would be time for that later. All he wanted was for her to care less about what the world thought about the two of them being together. If she was okay with it and he was okay with it, that’s all that should matter to her. Sometimes he felt that her concerns about how society perceived them were more her imagination than reality. Sure, people stared on occasion, but no one had said anything rude to them. Hopefully with time, she’d become more confident.
They ate their dinner slowly and ended it sharing a wonderfully rich chocolate soufflé.
“I need to get a recipe for this,” Victoria said as she dipped her spoon into the bowl. “You’re definitely a chocolate lover.”
“You betcha, but I’m not the only one. You’ve matched me bite for bite here.”
Victoria laughed, her dark eyes sparkling. “True, but a real gentleman wouldn’t have commented on that.”
“Ah, well, one slip-up is allowed, right?”
Though he wished they could have stayed there longer, Trent didn’t want to tie up the table on such a busy night so he signaled for the waitress to bring their bill. Once he’d taken care of it, they wove their way through the tables to the front of the restaurant and out into the fall air. It was a bit of a crisp evening, but not uncomfortably so.
“Want to walk for a bit?” Trent asked. The restaurant was located on a street with quaint little shops, and he could see other people were taking leisurely strolls along the sidewalks.
Again he saw the apprehension on her face, but he wasn’t going to give her a way out unless she outright said no.
“Okay.”
As they walked along the sidewalk, he kept his hand on her back. It was the closest thing they could come to physical contact while they walked at this point. “Hey, look. A fudge shop.”
“More chocolate?” She looked up at him and grinned.
“Let’s go get some.”
They took their time picking out a piece of homemade fudge for each of them from the many flavors they had. Trent carried the small bag as they left the shop and continued along the sidewalk. They stopped to look in the windows of a couple of other shops but didn’t go inside. As they stood in front of a toy doll display, Trent rubbed his hand on her back, enjoying the feel of her silky hair on his fingers.
“I think Sarah would love this shop. Maybe we’ll have to bring her some time,” Victoria said as she looked up at him.
His heart clenched at the happiness on her beautiful face. At that point, he would have taken her and Sarah to any doll store in the world they wanted to go to if it made her smile like that. “Yes, we’ll bring her sometime and treat her to whatever she wants.”
They turned from the store and continued to walk down the block slowly. A group of kids brushed past them, and Trent suddenly had a flashback to the theater. The kids stopped a few yards in front of them and turned around. It was then he realized that they weren’t teens but looked to be college age. He braced himself, waiting for one of them to make a comment to Victoria.
“Hey, man!” One of the young men called out. “You into little girls? Is that what turns you on, huh? You’re a pervert!”
Rage not unlike what had gripped him at the theater once again flooded him.
“Trent!”
He heard Victoria’s voice through the blood pounding in his head but it didn’t stop him as he took two quick strides and grabbed a fistful of shirt.
“No, you punk.” As he gave the guy a small shake, Trent could see a spark of fear in his light gray eyes. “I’m into that beautiful, courageous and strong woman who, though she may be small, has more maturity in her pinky than you have in your whole body. I love her and will not let you degrade her or our relationship by making her into something less than she is. She is not a child. She’s all woman and yes, she’s all mine.”
Though he’d spoken the words low, he knew that every member of the group heard him. The ones he didn’t have a grip on stepped back. “What is it with you kids these days? Do none of you respect other people and the differences in each of us? You all need to grow up and realize that being different isn’t a bad thing. With attitudes like you have, you’re all just a pack of bullies.”
He let go of the kid and waited for him to scamper away like his friends were doing. Last time, the group at the theater had taken off pretty quickly. This time, the young man stood his ground and met his gaze. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Taken aback by the kid’s apology, all Trent could do was nod. The kid spun around and sprinted to catch up with his friends who were now almost half a block away. He stared after them for a moment before turning back to find Victoria. She was leaning against the arm of a bench several yards away, her face pale and her mouth drawn.
It hit him then. This was what she’d been waiting for. This was why she’d been reluctant to be out with him. She’d known something like this would happen. And now it had.
“Let’s go,” he said as he approached her. Though he knew she was likely to protest, he scooped her up and pressed her close against his chest. Her arms were trapped by the crutches, but she held herself stiffly in his arms.
Anger and fear pulsed through him. Would she trust him enough to know that he could handle stuff like this? He didn’t care what they said about him. His anger had been because of how it had made their relationship seem, not because of how they’d perceived him. He knew he wasn’t any of the things they said. He’d never viewed Victoria as a child and n
ever would.
Once they got to the car, he set her on her feet while he got the keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. She was silent as he lifted her into the car and buckled her in. He usually stole a quick kiss when doing it, but something told him that wouldn’t help this situation. Instead, he braced a knee on the bottom of the door frame and leaned back against the dashboard.
He reached out and lifted her chin. Her eyelids swept down, and her eyelashes fanned out against the paleness of her cheeks. “I need you to look at me, sweetheart.”
Slowly, her eyes opened and his heart clenched at the pain he saw there. The rage that had ebbed away since the kid’s apology returned in a flash. Did those kids even think how their careless words might wound someone? That the thing they chose to tease and mock about was something over which she had no control? That beyond that exterior they chose to focus on was a gentle, loving, beautiful soul?
“It’s okay, sweetheart. They were just idiot kids who needed a bit of an education.”
She still didn’t say anything, but he could see her lips trembling. It scared him to see her like this. There was no way they could live their relationship strictly in safe places away from the crowds of people in the world. Somehow she needed to be able to deal with stuff like this without letting it overwhelm her.
“Please take me home.” The words were barely a whisper, and they weren’t what Trent had wanted to hear, but he knew they couldn’t talk as long as she was feeling vulnerable by being in public like this.
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. Soft and gentle, just enough to let her know that he didn’t think of her as a child but as a woman.
His woman.
After shutting her door, Trent walked around the back of the car, pausing to take several deep breaths, willing the anger away. Victoria didn’t need to see his anger over this.
Unfortunately, she spent the trip back to her house with her head bent, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. What had been such a perfect evening was now threatening to end in a way he just couldn’t even consider. Trent wanted to pound the steering wheel but instead kept a tight grip on it as he drove them home.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
VICTORIA was relieved when they finally pulled into the driveway of her house. Even knowing the discussion that lay ahead, at least now she was at a safe place.
After turning off the engine, Trent held out his hand. “Your keys.”
Victoria fished them out of her purse and dropped them into his palm, being careful not to touch him. His hand hovered there for just a second before he closed his fingers around the keys and got out of the car. He opened the back door and got her crutches and then went to the house.
When he got back, he didn’t even give her the option of walking. Trent’s jaw was set as he bent into the car to pick her up. He walked with her through the open front door and gently set her down on the couch. Still not saying anything, he walked out of the living room.
Victoria briefly wondered if maybe he was just going to leave. On one hand, that would make it all so much easier, but they’d come so far now that she knew he wouldn’t just let it go. He would push about this until it was resolved. One way or another.
She clasped her hands together to stop them from trembling. Though she’d known they were going to face this exact situation, Victoria had never before reacted like she had this time. She had been praying specifically that God would keep them from ever running into someone who would say to Trent exactly what had been said earlier. But they had, and it wouldn’t be the last time. She knew that much from experience.
Trent came back into the living room and sat down on the floor in front of her. If he’d settled on the couch beside her, she could have avoided looking at him. But with him sitting right in front of her, Victoria taller than him for a change, it was much harder to not meet his gaze.
“Let’s talk about this,” Trent said, his expression determined. “What they said tonight didn’t surprise you, did it?”
Victoria wondered which response would anger him least, but in the end, she settled for the truth. “No, it didn’t.”
“You’ve heard it before?”
She nodded as she looked down at her hands. “You’re not the first average-size guy I’ve dated.”
“Look at me, Victoria.” The firm request startled her into glancing up and meeting his gaze again. His expression was unreadable, but the gentleness she was used to seeing in his eyes was gone. “Why didn’t you tell me? Warn me that comments like that might come our way?”
“I had hoped that they wouldn’t.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I had prayed that they wouldn’t.”
“If you’d told me, I wouldn’t have reacted like I did tonight. It took me completely off-guard. I never really thought people would look at us together and peg me as a pervert.” Trent’s brows drew together. “Was it how I reacted that upset you?”
“Not really.” Victoria looked down at her hands again.
“Do you think it’s true?” The words were harsh in tone and meaning.
Her gaze jerked up to meet his before she could stop herself. “No. I have never thought that about you.”
“Then what is it? Help me understand what’s going on here? Why aren’t we just brushing this off as comments made by some uninformed idiots and moving on?” He leaned forward, his eyes darkening with intensity. “Why am I getting the feeling that you’re going to let this impact us far more than it should?”
And once again it was truth time. Swallowing hard, she said, “I prayed about this. I told God that if He wanted us to be in this relationship, that He had to make sure the ugliness of that accusation would never touch us. But it did.”
Trent straightened, his gaze hardening as he stared at her. “So let me get this straight. Because God didn’t stop those kids from making that comment to me, this is over between us?”
Was that really what she wanted? Pain shot through her heart. She wanted to have a relationship without the possibility of having it tainted by comments like what they’d heard earlier. She’d wanted to have that with Trent. But now the words had been said. And would be said again.
“Listen, Victoria, we live in a fallen world.” Trent sandwiched her clasped hands between his. “God never promised us that things would be easy. Nor that they would be nice. People suffer from far worse accusations and tortures than what I heard tonight. What happened earlier opened my eyes to more of what you’ve endured because of your size, but it hasn’t made me change my mind about how I feel about you. About us.”
I’m sorry, Tori, but I just don’t think it’s going to work. I can’t go through life being pegged as a pedophile. It’s just not worth it.
She hadn’t been worth it. Twice before she’d been through this. And both times she hadn’t been worth it.
“Victoria, I don’t recognize this side of you.” Trent’s grip on her hands tightened. “You’ve always shown yourself to be so strong and confident. Why don’t you have enough confidence in me...in us…to know that we can weather something like this? I want this relationship with you more than anything, but I need to know that you want it enough, too. I’m not going to try to talk you into staying with me if you feel like we have to live out our relationship behind closed doors. Sticking only to situations where you feel safe from stuff like what we dealt with today. I refuse to do that. I want the world to know that I’m proud to walk at your side. To hold your hand. To be with you. I need you to feel the same way otherwise it’s never going to work.”
Trent released his grip on her hands and got to his feet. Victoria looked up at him, dread spiraling through her. Could she do what he wanted? She knew it would be more than just saying she could, he would expect her to show him she could.
Fear bubbled to the surface. But what was it a fear of? The fear of having to live the rest of her life without Trent? Or the fear of facing society with its perceptions of their relationship?
Trent cupped her face in
his hands and bent down to press a lingering kiss to her lips. When he pulled back, he ran his thumbs over her cheeks. “One more thing you need to know is that I love you. When you’re considering what is worth the most in this situation I want you to keep that in mind. Know that I would do all I could to protect you from hurt, but even when I can’t—like what happened today—I will love you through those times.”
Before Victoria could respond, he turned from her and in three long strides he was out of the living room and into the hallway. Then she heard the door open. Close.
And he was gone.
What have I done?
“What have I done?” Trent muttered the words aloud as he stared out the front windshield, waiting for the red light to turn green.
Giving her an ultimatum like that had to have been the stupidest thing he’d ever done. Opening the door for her to walk out of his life had been stupid. And hard. But it had also been necessary. He needed her to decide to continue their relationship with confidence that it was where she wanted to be. That they would face the world together knowing God would be with them, too.
But it seemed like she had set it up for herself to have an escape. In telling God that if He wanted them together that He would make sure they didn’t hear things like they had was setting them up for failure. She knew comments like that were more than likely to come their way. Had she given God a timetable? Because how could she guarantee it would never happen even if they got engaged and then married? Maybe she hadn’t wanted this as much as he had.
His heart clenched at the thought, and he thumped the steering wheel with his fist. A horn honked behind him, and he glanced up to see the light had turned green.
Irritated with himself, Victoria and the world in general, Trent didn’t check before he pressed down on the accelerator and surged into the intersection. When horns around him blared, he looked to his right to see headlights approaching rapidly as a vehicle ran the red light and plowed straight into him.
Metal crunching.
When There is Love: A Christian Romance (The McKinleys Book 3) Page 17