FIRST ONE DOWN: A Paul Sutton Novel

by R. J. Belle

  Stepping back into her office, Tessa closed the heavy glass door behind her. She picked up the phone and dialed the number for her human resources manager. "Hi Claire, it's Tessa. I need to ask a favor. Can you please send over the entire employee file for an Olivia Foster? She resigned back in late 2009."

  "Sure Tessa, Is there something specific you're looking for? I may be able to look it up in our system."

  "No, nothing specific, I just need the file please. I promise to get it right back to you," Tessa said, as she hung up and reclined in her leather office chair. She had no idea what, if anything, she would find in Olivia's file but she wanted to try to track her down and make sure she was okay. If for no other reason, she needed to ease her own guilt about not having tried harder to reach out to Olivia when she resigned.

  CHAPTER 22

  Kali was starting to feel her nerves flare up as she pulled her overnight bag from under her desk and headed towards the ladies room to change for her date. Andrew would be by soon to pick her up for dinner, and she was excited to see him. She chose a violet, silk wrap around dress that clung to her body in all of the right places and simple black pumps, the highest ones she owned chosen specifically to compliment Andrew's substantial size. She smiled at the thought of him, his stature, his bright blue eyes and rugged good looks, his sincere smile, everything about him really. The feeling she got when in his presence was comforting and exhilarating. He made her feel safe, special and sexy with nothing more than the way he looked at her, how intently he studied her face; it brought a sort of foreign assurance to her wounded soul. The way she felt around him gave her hope that it might actually be possible to get over Nate Warner, to love again, to be loved by a man who knew what it meant to do so, a man who knew how to give and receive love.

  Applying the finishing touches to her makeup with the blackest of black mascara, Kali pursed her lips together smoothing out her hint of pink lipstick, looked at her face in the square bathroom mirror, and blew a kiss at her reflection. She ran a brush through her thick dark mane of hair and pulled it up off of her neck, securing it at the back of her head with a black, shiny clip. She pulled a few tendrils of hair down to frame the side of her face and one curled piece of bang. Pleased with the look, she took one more glance in the mirror, flashed a huge smile at herself and headed back to her office. When she arrived at the glass door to her office, she saw his large frame sitting in one of the chairs facing her desk, and her heart did a little flutter. Andrew.

  "You're right on time, Colonel."

  Turning his head around to face her, their eyes met and Andrew stood up. "Kali, you look absolutely gorgeous. I'm a lucky man tonight; I have the prettiest girl in San Diego on my arm." His cheeks grew a slight pink and he looked down at the floor, feeling uncharacteristically shy.

  "We'll aren't you just full of compliments tonight, Colonel." Kali said, flashing him that big, bright smile and feeling in control of the chemistry growing between them.

  "Where shall I take the lady for dinner?" he asked.

  "I would like to go to The Marina House and, if you play your cards right, after dinner I will take you to one of my favorite places in all of San Diego." Kali said, batting her long eyelashes in his direction.

  Holding his arm out to her, "Shall we?" he asked.

  They got so lost in random conversation during the drive to dinner, Kali forgot that Andrew was unfamiliar with San Diego and they ended up almost to the Mexico border. When Kali realized where they were, she began laughing hysterically and asked Andrew to exit the freeway. They exited the I5 at Palm Avenue and found the entrance to get back on the freeway, this time headed north. Kali had been unable to contain her laughter and when she was finally able to stop, it dawned on her that she hadn't laughed that hard or felt that free in a very long time. It felt good, really good, she thought to herself and, in that same moment, Andrew reached his hand over and brushed the top of hers. A bolt of electricity ran up her spine and goosebumps took over her arms. The two found the correct exit and got off of the freeway headed west, towards the Marina House.

  Andrew came around to Kali's side of the rental car and opened her door, holding his hand out to help her to her feet. Walking up to the restaurant, his hand found hers and he led her without pulling her; it was a secure feeling without being overpowering. Being with Andrew was completely different from being with Nate. He made her feel like an equal and cared for. He made her feel worthy of his attention, without having to prove herself, and without having to give more than she wanted to give.

  Once inside, they were seated at a table in the back corner of the dimly lit patio area on the water side, overlooking a clear night sky, full of stars and hope. The quiet sound of the ocean water lapping against the harbor shoreline made for beautiful, natural background music. In the center of the table a small, flickering candle added a romantic flare, and the nearby patio heater kept Kali from having to cover up her sexy dress with a jacket. The waiter took their drink order as they settled into seats across from each other. Andrew removed his tan jacket, and draped it over the back of his chair. Under his coat he wore a white dress shirt that stretched over his massive arms and chest. When he sat back down, he caught Kali's gaze fixed on his muscular body. It wasn't the first time he had caught the attention of a beautiful woman because of the hours he put in at the gym. It was, however, the first time in a long time that he entertained that type of attention, and it was the first time in forever that the woman behind the gaze made his heart flutter nervously. It was uncommon for him to feel nervous or shy and even more uncommon for him to let that show. The very nature of his work forced him to carry himself with confidence and never allow himself to display any sign of weakness. But, in almost every moment spent with Kali, he struggled to maintain his composure.

  "I love the place you chose, Kali. It's an amazing view from where I'm sitting," he said, as his lips formed a half smile.

  "It's an amazing view from where I'm sitting too," she said, feeling her cheeks blush again and surprising herself at being so blatantly forward with him.

  "You know how to make a man blush."

  "Oh, I don't know about that, Colonel, I'm just a girl in the presence of a guy who I find fascinating and handsome. I guess you bring it out in me," she said, batting her eyelashes at him once again. She could see how uneasy her flirting made him and she found it mildly amusing, but more than that, she found it to be quite flattering.

  "'Just a girl' is definitely not a phrase that I would use to describe you. You are much more than that. But, I think you are aware of the ability you have to suck a man in, and I feel rather fortunate to be the current object of your flirtations. I desire to learn the story behind the girl. So, tell me, what man was crazy enough to let you escape his clutches before I came on to the scene?" Andrew asked.

  The question hung in the warm air between them for a moment while Kali thought through how much to divulge, and how. How would she ever be able to explain her past to a new man in her life? How could she fully explain the past four years of her life to anyone, even herself, she wondered? Placing her chin gracefully on her folded hands that were lifted up near her face, she inhaled deeply and raised her shoulders up. Exhaling, she set her hands back on the table and was in shock at what she was about to reveal, even as the words left her mouth.

  "I've spent the past two years of my life trying to get over a man. A man who I gave my heart to, no questions asked. A man who I learned some valuable lessons from. A man who gave me the insight I needed to know what I do and what I do not want from a relationship. It's been a tough journey from the girl I was, to the woman you are sitting across from tonight and I am so happy to be here, to have reached this side of the shore. I'm happy to be here with you, Colonel."

  Looking down for a moment and then back up, across the small wooden table, and fixing his focus directly on her eyes, Andrew spoke the words that would stay with her for a lifetime. "I don't know you that well, but it pains me to think of any
man hurting you. What many of my gender don't realize is just how fragile your gender is, or the power we have to build a woman up or break her down. I learned this with my late wife. I watched her go from having a bright light in her eyes when she looked at me, when she planned for us, and our future together, to eyes that were dull and lackluster just a few short years into our marriage. I've spent a great deal of time reflecting on that relationship. What I gave, and what I didn't. Mostly I think about what I took from her. Things I shouldn't have been allowed to take. I took her dreams away; I turned her fairytale into a structured, routine existence that had mostly to do with step-by-step instructions on how to reach the goals that I thought equated to a successful life. The part I failed to write into that plan was magic, fun, togetherness, carelessness, passion. I didn't make time in that plan to sleep in, to get away together, and to learn to cook or dance together. I wrote a plan for two people to lead separate lives in an attempt to build for a future we would never realize, even if she were still here, because somewhere along the way, we lost each other. And, without each other, I know now, those goals I had set and planned for us to achieve, well, they didn't matter in the end. Even if she had not been taken from me the way she was I would have lost her eventually." Placing his large hands over hers, he looked off into the distance for a moment and then back into her eyes again and continued. Kali was too awestruck to interject at that point, and he didn't leave much room for her to do so.

  "To sit here across from you, such an amazing woman, and see the hurt in your eyes as you try to sum up the reason you are single, and how you got here, in a few short sentences; it's impossible not to see that you are like my Laura. Lost in the void that a foolish man left in your heart. And, although I can't go back and change your past, or mine, what I can do is try to ease the road you're on in some way, even if a small way. And, not to satisfy a need to ease my own guilt over the ways I failed in my marriage, but because I sincerely care for you. I knew it, I felt it from that first time I touched your shoulders. It was as if your energy seized me, rendering me helpless to fight against letting myself be overtaken by your beauty, your inner beauty, Kali. You may see me as some big, hard ass Marine who doesn't think deeply, who doesn't feel deeply. If you do, I understand, that's the image I put off - on purpose. But if you don't believe I think about you or that I feel for you deeply, you're wrong. I might have bumped into your life at an inopportune time, hell, it's definitely not what I came out to San Diego to do. But, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and the truth is, you have saved me from falling further into the big black hole that I was plummeting into before the day I met you. For that, no matter where we end up, together or not, I owe you. And, I am going to do everything in my power to show you that a man can love, wholly, with intention and purpose, to satisfy more than his own selfish needs. I promise you that I will never hurt your heart. The look in your eyes that I saw moments ago, that's not a look that will ever be in those beautiful, dark eyes because of something that I did. What I hope for you, and for me, is to replace that with a bright glow brought about by the realization that fairytales exist for girls like you, for girls exactly like you, Kali. You may have been the first one down that day we met in the hallway, but I was falling right after you."

  With all of that said, he looked off into the distance again, and when Kali opened her mouth to try to form a response to the prettiest words she had ever heard come out of a man's mouth, her voice caught in her throat and tears welled up in her eyes. He looked back at her and gave her hands a light squeeze. The waiter arrived, as if on cue, to interrupt the beautiful silence that had fallen over the table.

  "Have we decided on dinner?" the waiter asked.

  With a chuckle, Andrew said, "I think we need a few minutes."

  The waiter moved along to another guest table and Andrew pulled his hands away from Kali's and opened the menu. "What does the lady recommend?" he asked.

  "The lady recommends that you order a bottle of wine," her voice quiet and her mind still trying to dissect every word that he had spoken to her.

  Could this be real, she wondered to herself? Could this man truly mean the things that he just said to her? And, if so, how could he see that pain in her? How could he know so much about her? She thought she hid it well, all of the hurt inside, all of the humiliation she felt at the things she had allowed herself to do with Nate, and all of the pieces of herself that she had allowed to be taken away. How could this man sitting across from her possibly know all of that? She sat in her chair feeling naked, vulnerable and transparent. Fear began to creep in, and she fought the urge to run away. Sometimes the fear of allowing someone to see that deeply inside her heart was too much to bear. But, she felt safe with Andrew. Fighting against all the fear screaming inside of her to push this man away, she began to feel a stronger feeling of security - the feeling of knowing and, more importantly, believing, that he wouldn't hurt her.

  The bottle of merlot Andrew ordered was delivered to the table by their waiter, who seemed eager to take their dinner order.

  "The lady and I will have your Miso Ahi," he said, looking up from the menu at her for approval.

  "Sounds wonderful," she said.

  A smile came across Andrew's face again as the waiter filled each of their glasses before collecting their menus and venturing off towards the kitchen.

  Andrew held up his glass, Kali followed suit and they clinked them together.

  "To fairytales," he said, as his smile grew even wider.

  "To fairytales," she mimicked.

  Her eyes met his gaze and, for the first time in a very long time, she felt a warmth between her legs brought on by an innocent, yet strong sexual attraction. No thoughts of blindfolds, or chains, or pain. Just the unspoken promise of being taken. Passionately. Tenderly. Being taken, and loved.

  Dinner arrived and after admiring the dishes, they dug in. Andrew told her of his years in the Marine Corps and about all of the far away travels he had experienced. Listening intently, she laughed at his crazy stories of funny incidents that had taken place in other countries amongst other cultures, and sat silently as he spoke of things that she was sure affected him in ways she would never be able to digest. Although he did not go into much detail, she could tell that he had some deep wounds from those years, and she made a mental note to tread lightly around such topics when in his presence. As Kali sat there, learning about this precious man, layer after layer, she couldn't help but wonder if similar experiences were responsible for forming the violent nature that Nate seemed to carry within himself. Andrew seemed so poised, calm and peaceful inside, and it made her question how the same type of experiences could have such a diverse affect on two different men. Realizing that Andrew had picked up on her mental check out, she shifted her mind's gears back to the present. It was hard for her to comprehend how Nate could force his way into her thoughts, even now, as she sat across from this man who earlier all but promised to be hers for the taking. She smiled and forcefully pushed Nate from her mind, reclaiming the space now absent his memory, for more worthy thoughts, for a more worthwhile man. For anything but Nate Warner.

  "So, did I pass the test?" he asked.

  "Test?" she questioned, her mouth turned up in a half smile.

  "Yes," he said, with a snicker, "you said if I 'played my cards right' you would take me to one of your favorite places."

  "Oh, yes!" she squealed, clapping her hands together like a kid, "I forgot about that. Yes Colonel, you passed the test. You aced the test."

  Standing in front of the Marina House, Andrew reached in his pocket for the keys to the rental car and as he was pulling them out, Kali placed her hand on his and said, "You won't be needing those. My favorite place is right there," she said, pointing in the direction of Words By The Cup which was just steps away from the restaurant.

  "Words By The Cup?" he asked, a puzzled look on his face, "What is that?"

  Kali grabbed his hand in hers and pulling, led him to the
back door of the coffee house. As they walked inside she said, "This is the home of San Diego's best cappuccino and the most amazing collection of books and novelties in the city." She looked back at him, stood up on her tippy toes, and pulled him close. Whispering in his ear, she said, "This is where I come to escape, to think and to soak in the goodness of life. It's my safe place. It's my shelter. And, I couldn't think of a more fitting place to take you to right now." With that she moved her face slightly and brushed a light kiss on his cheek then, tugging his hand again, led him to the coffee bar.

  After Carmen made two perfect cappuccinos and set both cups on a tray, Andrew picked up the tray and followed Kali up the stairs to the top floor. He laughed to himself, marveling at the perfect view he had, and thankful he chose to follow behind her. Watching her dress move side to side along with her hips, as she climbed the stairs made more than just his heart flutter. Once they made it to the top floor, he set it down on a small, round, stained glass table next to the wooden rocking chair that Kali sat in. He sat down next to her, and admired the place. It really was an interesting collection of books and novelties, and very quaint. It had a peaceful feeling about it, like going home after an extended time away. He could see why Kali felt safe here, he understood soon after walking in the door why this was one of her favorite places.

  They settled in to the cozy rocking chairs, side by side, and sat there for a few minutes sipping their cappuccinos in comfortable silence. Andrew's hand found hers, and she turned to look at him.

  "You know how my marriage ended and I have admitted my shortcomings in that marriage to you. Frankly, I'm a bit taken aback at being so candid with you. You seem to bring that quality out in me," he said, with a smile that left his face as quickly as it came. "If you are comfortable telling me, I would like to know what ended the relationship that you spoke of earlier tonight."

  Kali's posture became tense and she shifted her legs, crossing them so that her right foot was free to tap away. She set her coffee cup down on the small table and turned away from Andrew, looking straight ahead and steeling herself for the story she was about to hear herself say out loud. Her mind raced wildly as she grasped for the right way, the right order to tell him about how she came to have a broken heart.