When he didn’t answer, Regan ushered the children toward the path. “Come along, wee ones. We have chores to do at the house.”
He heard the tremble in her words.
The somber group trailed back up the path and entered the clearing. Granny stood a few yards in front of them, working on the last load of laundry. She shaded her eyes as they approached.
“Ah, you found them, safe and sound. I was hoping you’d join them for a while, Ian.”
Ian ignored her and stomped past.
“Ian?”
He rounded the lighthouse and hoped she’d let him be.
Granny left her laundry and followed him around the lighthouse.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t want company right now, Gran.”
“What on earth happened? I haven’t seen you this upset since right before Maggie ran off and died. Was there a gator? Did it give you a scare? They’re all safe, Ian.”
“It wasn’t a gator that gave me a scare, Granny. It was the words I overheard as I approached them at the creek.”
“Whatever could sweet Regan say that would put you in such a mood?”
His words were raspy with emotion, even to his own ears. “She talked about city life to the kids, Granny. She was talking about how much she liked living there. Even Johnny chimed in on how he wanted to go.”
He scrubbed a hand down his face in frustration. “I was hoping she’d fall in love with the area, Granny. And that she would fall in love with us. With me.” There, he’d said it. “I wanted them to stay.”
Granny walked over to place a hand on his arm. “I think you heard wrong, son. Regan loves it here. She’s told me as much. And I’m pretty sure she loves you, too. I’ve seen it in her eyes and on her face when she looks at you. She watches for you and her emotions betray her thoughts.”
Her words gave him pause, but he quickly dashed them away. “I heard exactly what she said, Granny! I didn’t misunderstand. She and Keera were saying how nice it was having all the shops available there, and Johnny jumped right in. It’s bad enough if they don’t want to stay, but to skew Johnny’s insight, too? It’s too much. I was gruff with them. Now she’s going to hate me.”
“I’m sure they’ll understand. And you were already upset about the possibility of alligators when you went after them. I’m sure her words just intensified the stress of the situation.”
“What am I going to do, Granny? I feel like I’m losing Maggie all over again, only this time it hurts a lot worse. What does that say about me? I knew Maggie for years, and I’ve only known Regan for a few weeks.”
“The heart knows, Ian. You hurt worse now because you knew how Maggie was, and you knew you’d already lost her. Regan isn’t Maggie, Ian. She loves it here. She’s told me so many a time. You need to talk to her. Ask her how she feels. What do you have to lose?”
“Her, Granny.” Ian refused to look at his grandmother as he fisted his hands and looked out at the water. “I could lose her.”
“Then go fight for the woman you love, son. If you let her get on a boat and sail away, you’ll have only yourself to blame. You’ll never forgive yourself. And consider Johnny—if you can’t do this for yourself—then do it for him. No matter how well we prepare him, he’s going to be hurt if they leave.”
“He can’t handle much more hurt, Granny.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. He’s resilient, and I think he’ll be fine, but we don’t want to find out the hard way. And he’s not the only one I’m worried about.” She eyed him. “So listen to my sage advice and go have a talk with Regan.”
Ian knew he didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t let Regan leave without telling her how much she meant to him. If she didn’t feel the same way, he’d never see her again. So what did he have to lose?
Chapter 7
It’s time to open the barrel.”
Ian’s abrupt announcement had the children running. They’d begged him for weeks to open the lone barrel the ship’s captain had sent—but Ian had wanted to wait until the right time.
Now, afraid Regan would leave before they had a chance to explore the contents, he rolled the barrel to rest at the base of the porch where all could see the contents.
Granny raised her eyebrows in question, but he avoided a response. He’d left her with the impression that he was on his way to talk to Regan. If Regan was into worldly goods he’d show her that anything she needed could be provided at the lighthouse, too. Maybe not as readily, but God always provided what they needed when they needed it.
He and Regan had talked often during their walks about God and His provision. This side of her surprised him. He wouldn’t have pictured her a city girl, not from anything he’d seen during their time together.
He glanced up to where Regan stood on the step, hip braced against the rail, arms crossed at her midsection. She stared out over the water, her expression contemplative.
Ian forced his gaze away and pried the lid from the barrel. He scooped some packing material out of the way and pulled out a brief note.
“It says that we can do what we please with whatever we find in here—if we want to put some things away for the future to feel free.”
“That’s considerate of him.” Regan stood a little straighter as Ian reached back into the container.
He pulled out three small dresses.
“Yellow and lavender and pink!” Keera squealed. “All for me? They’re too small for you or Granny, Mama.”
“Aye, it looks like the captain sent all three for you. What a thoughtful and extravagant thing for him to do.”
“I guess he figured he owed you as much after dunking you both in the gulf,” Granny quipped.
Ian held them out, and Keera snatched them from him, hugging them to her chest. “Thank you, Ian!”
Next were shirts and pants in matching hues for Johnny.
“Looks like brother and sister clothes to me,” Granny stated. “You two can match next time we go into town.”
Ian tried to control his grimace. Why’d she have to paint such a picture of family after the conversation they’d just had? If Regan was pining for the city, she might not stick around long enough to take a family-style jaunt into town.
Granny wasn’t making this easy, and he had a feeling her effort was purposeful.
Johnny and Keera crowded closer, trying to see what was next.
“Food.”
Both said the word at the exact same time, disappointment dripping from their tongues. Sacks of flour, sugar, and other staple items stacked up one by one.
“Food isn’t a bad thing, wee ones,” Regan explained. “We need to be grateful and to give thanks for everything God—and in this case the captain—gives to us. God is providing the basics, and we mustn’t take that for granted.”
“I’m sorry, Mama,” Keera said.
“Sorry, Papa,” Johnny echoed. “You prayed for provisions and God answered.”
“That’s right, son.” Ian kept digging. “I know it seems boring, but look here—the captain sent some treats that we don’t get very often.”
“Candy!” Keera handed her dresses off to Regan and ran over to bounce at Ian’s side, cupping her hands in anticipation.
Johnny looked undecided, then, with a shy smile, handed his clothes to Regan, too. She folded them over her arm as she had Keera’s, and Ian couldn’t help but envision her doing such a thing as Johnny’s mother. She looked so natural taking his possessions and adding them to Keera’s, as if she’d been doing so Johnny’s whole life. Ian longed for the image to be true. He wanted that for his son…for himself.
Shaking himself from his reverie, he dug deeper. “Fabric for Granny and Regan.”
Several folds of brightly colored fabrics and ribbon, threads and trim were added to the growing pile in Regan’s arms.
“Beautiful.” Granny caressed the notions. “We can make some beautiful skirts and dresses from the yardage.”
“Aye, we can.” Regan’s voice held awe. �
��The captain was very good to us.”
Granny touched her arm. “Your misfortune brought good things to all of us, Regan.”
Regan blushed. “I’m glad you think so.” She glanced over at Ian and when their eyes met her smile slipped. She looked away.
Ian turned back to the barrel. “Sturdy work pants and a couple of shirts for me. Those’ll come in handy.”
“They’re nice,” Regan responded. “The colors are good for you.”
“Thanks.” Will you be around long enough to see me wear them?
He didn’t know why he suddenly felt her departure was imminent, but he wanted to make sure his feelings were known so she could weigh them in to any decision she made about leaving. If she truly missed the city, he figured she’d find a way to get there sooner rather than later.
Ian motioned Granny and Regan closer. “A few of these things at the bottom look like they might be good Christmas gifts. That must be what the captain referred to with his note.”
The women peeked over the rim.
A rag doll for Keera, and a wooden train for Johnny. Warm slippers and sleep shirts in five different sizes, one for each of them.
“The kids would love waking up on Christmas morning to see that each of us received new sleeping clothes.” Regan’s delight showed on her features.
The response confused him. She didn’t appear to be in any hurry to leave. He felt a tiny ray of hope that Granny was right, and that what he’d overheard hadn’t been heard in full context.
“I agree,” Granny added. “We’ll slip them into the attic when the kids aren’t looking.”
“Aye, sounds like a wonderful plan.”
“What else do we have, son?”
Ian dug deep into the barrel. “A new clock for the house. Socks for each of us. A few trinkets to decorate with. Spices for the kitchen…”
He leaned in and lifted the final object from the bottom. “And a family Bible.”
“It’s beautiful,” Regan whispered. She reached out to touch the black leather of the huge book. “I’ve never seen a Bible as big as this.”
“It’s nice.” Ian turned the first few pages. “Look. It has space to record weddings and births.”
“What a wonderful way to document family history.”
“I agree.”
Silence was his response. He glanced up and looked around.
Keera and Johnny had lost interest in the barrel after the candy was unveiled. They sat together on the bottom step, sucking their peppermint sticks and giggling in quiet conversation.
Ian’s heart lurched. He wanted them to grow up together. They seemed as perfect a fit of brother and sister as he felt he and Regan were as a couple. He wanted to write all four of their names in the family Bible, along with Granny’s.
He didn’t want to see Johnny’s heart broken any more than his own. Johnny had never connected as strongly with the kids in town as he had with Keera. Losing the little girl’s company would tear the boy apart.
He felt Regan’s eyes studying him as they stood there in silence. In the moments he’d been watching the children, Granny had slipped away, leaving him alone with Regan. He continued to watch the kids.
“They have a special bond.”
“Aye, they do.”
It was now or never. “I’ve felt a bond between us, too.”
“Aye, so have I.” She watched him with her vivid green eyes.
“But the tug of the city pulls harder?”
Confusion clouded Regan’s features. “I don’t understand.”
“I overheard you and Keera at the creek. You talked about town and all the things you could get on a whim. You seemed to miss it.”
“It’s true. You can walk down the road and most everything you could possibly need is there.”
“I guess I see it as sort of being like this barrel.” Ian waved a hand at the vessel in front of him like it was evil. “Candy, food, spices, clothes, fabric. The barrel is nothing more than a jaunt into town bundled up in a nice wooden package.”
“I don’t understand, Ian. You seemed angry at the creek and you seem angry now, but I have no idea who or what it is that you’re angry at.”
“I can’t compete with the city, Regan. My life is here at the lighthouse.”
Lord, please help me to understand what Ian is saying. Help me bridge the chasm he’s placed between us.
“Why would you need to compete with the city?”
“Your heart seems to long for the life you’ve left.” Ian slid his hands into his pockets, his dark features daring her to deny it. “I know you miss the city, so I have to assume it’ll be a matter of time before you head to your aunt and uncle’s.”
“You think we want to leave?” She looked incredulous. A smile tugged at her lips. “You couldn’t be more wrong, dear Ian.”
He’s upset because he thinks we want to leave! The realization thrilled her to the core.
Bravely, she stepped closer to him. “Keera and I would play a little game when we lived in the city. We tried to convince ourselves that the city held promise the lighthouse didn’t. Of course, deep down the longing to return to my father’s land never left me, but it seemed to help Keera tolerate life in town. So while we can get most everything we want in town, it isn’t where I want to live.”
“Most everything?” Ian now stared at her in confusion. “What can’t you get?”
“You.”
“Oh.”
She stood directly in front of him. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “If you think I want to leave here, you’re sorely mistaken.”
She glanced over at the kids, but they weren’t paying them any attention. Granny was nowhere to be found.
“You want to stay?” Ian’s face transformed. His brown eyes closed with relief. The lines of stress on his face melted into dimples, and a warm smile bloomed where the lines of stress had been. He opened his eyes and searched her face. “Let me get this straight. You want to stay here?”
“Aye, I want to stay, but only if you want me to.”
“Regan, I’ve wanted you to stay since you first washed up on shore.”
She reached out to stroke a strand of his curly brown hair. She pushed it into place. Just like the man it adorned, it had a mind of its own.
He wants us to stay!
She couldn’t believe her good fortune. God had brought them here, to this desolate place, and in doing so had blessed both families beyond belief. Her loss of independence had blossomed into a blessing beyond anything she could ever have wished for on her own.
“You really want us to stay?”
“Ah, Regan.” He took her hand and held it against his heart. He stepped closer and put his forehead against hers. She stepped into his embrace. “I would love for you to stay.”
“I’m sorry you misunderstood what Keera and I were talking about, Ian. The fact is, my heart is happiest when it’s by the sea. The only benefit of living with my aunt and uncle would have been the fact that the gulf was within walking distance. Or at least that’s what my father told me.”
“You can’t get closer to the beach than this.” Ian swung Regan around and faced her toward the water. He stood behind her and pulled her against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she clung to them for dear life. Together, they watched the surf crash against the shore. “Would you be happy here?”
“Aye, that goes without saying! I love everything about this place.” She couldn’t resist sending him a teasing smile over her shoulder. “The lighthouse, Granny, the beach, Johnny, the sunsets…”
“Ah, so it seems you love everything about the place except me.”
“Not everything but you, Ian.” She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m just saving the best for last—you.”
“So you could see yourself marrying me and settling down?”
“If that’s a proposal, then yes.”
“It’s a sloppy one, but yes. I’ll give you a proper proposal soon. Can you live
with that?”
“Aye!” Regan whispered. She’d found her safe harbor.
“Then I only have one more thing to say.” Ian bent and pressed his lips to hers, his kiss filled with promise. “Welcome home, Regan.”
WHISPERS
ACROSS THE BLUE
by DiAnn Mills
Dedication
To Tony and Cathy Barrett, who bless my life with love and encouragement.
Trust in him at all times; ye people,
pour out your heart before him:
God is our refuge for us.
PSALM 62:8
Chapter 1
1875, Bolivar Point, Galveston, Texas
This will be my last voyage, I promise,” Captain Mason Channing said. He cupped Jule’s chin with his hand, and she met his dark blue gaze—the same color as an angry sea. “I will return two months before our wedding, plenty of time to begin work with my father.”
Jule’s heart plummeted with Mason’s words. “But you said you were finished with a sea captain’s life, ready to enter your father’s import/export business.”
“I know,” he whispered, and lines furrowed his brow. “Do you think I want to be separated from you for two months?” He paused and glanced out at the calm, glass-like waters. “I would gladly honor my word, except Father is insistent I take a cargo of cotton and rice to New York. I no sooner dock than I pick up a load of grain and set sail to Liverpool, where I will exchange the goods for tea and head back to New York. There, I take on coal before sailing home.” He raked four fingers through his sandycolored hair. “This is difficult for me too, Jule. When I told you I planned to trade a ship’s anchor for two feet planted on dry ground, I meant it.”
Shivers raced up and down her arms as she recalled the repeated nightmares of Mason lost at sea.
“You are remembering your bad dreams,” he said, his voice soft and tender. “I can see it in your eyes.”
He drew her close to him, and she gladly embraced his wide, strong shoulders. The muscles beneath her fingertips felt hard and strong from the years of hoisting sails and working side by side with his crew. She felt protected and loved, yet frightened.
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