by G. M. Dobbs
‘That’ll be all,’ the chief inspector said without looking up from his paperwork and Twice closed the door, leaving Granny alone with the inspector.
Granny sat down.
Several moments passed with the inspector continuing with his paperwork, ignoring Granny.
Granny cleared her throat.
The inspector continued to make alterations on the typed sheet he was working on. He was clearly setting perimeters here. There would be no mistaking the fact that he was in charge, which meant the old woman would wait until he was good and ready to talk to her.
‘What do you think about Colorado Beetles?’ Granny asked and that stopped the policeman short. He looked up from the paperwork and stared at Granny.
‘Sorry?’
‘I though that would get your attention,’ Granny said. ‘Now do you know who I am?’
‘You’re Mrs Smith,’ the inspector said, a perplexed look upon his face.
‘I am, yes,’ Granny said. ‘But I’m also a member of the public and you, my man, are a public servant. I didn’t come all of the way down here, with important information, and expect to sit here and watch you fiddle your expenses.’
The inspector’s face clouded over with fury and he took a deep intake of breath. He seemed to be in some sort of discomfort as he momentarily closed his eyes and took in another huge breath.
‘What information?’ he asked, presently.
‘It’s about Edith’s murder,’
The inspector steepled his fingers to his chin, ‘I thought it might be.’
‘Well,’ Granny said, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. ‘What did the post mortem tell us?’
‘The post mortem didn’t tell us anything,’ the chief inspector said, placing emphasis on the word, “us”. ‘The findings of the post mortem are police business and public servants or not we don’t share this kind of information all and sundry.’
‘That’s not a very helpful attitude.’ Granny drummed her fingers on the inspector’s desk.
The inspector massaged his temples before continuing.
‘Look I’m a busy man,’ he said, struggling to keep his voice reasonable. ‘Now do you or do you not have any information for me?’
‘Oh, I’ve got information,’ Granny said. ‘Stan didn’t do this and it’s about time you started looking elsewhere for your killer.’
‘Either tell me what it is you came to tell me,’ the inspector said, firmly. ‘Or I’ll have a public servant throw you into the street.’
Granny told the inspector of the gathering at her home earlier today, and of Stan’s outburst when Sheila had come around with the wedding invitations. She told him, word for word what Stan had said. She then went on to outline everything that had happened afterwards, leaving no detail out. She told the inspector of how she had gone around to see Stan after everyone had left, and asked him what he had meant by his accusation. She outlined the fact that Stan had been reluctant to tell her anything and that she positively had to drag it out of him, but in the end he had told her. And now Granny told it to the inspector just as Stan had told it to her.
When she’d finished she sat back, a smug look upon her face.
The inspector looked at her, incredulous.
‘That’s information?’
Granny nodded. ‘That’s how it happened.’
‘And how does that help me?’
Granny frowned.
Hadn’t the inspector listened to her? She had told him clearly what Stan had meant by his outburst. That it was Sheila and Nigel they had seen that afternoon at the fete just before Edith vanished, and that Stan was certain that whatever it had been on his wife’s mind, whatever the reason for her strange behaviour, it was something to do with Nigel and Sheila. Surely that should have raised questions in the policeman’s mind.
‘Well surely it’s worth looking into?’ Granny fought back the urge to smoke her pipe. If this was a book or a movie the inspector would use all the resources available to him to investigate the possibility that Nigel and Sheila were involved in the murder, but this was real life and the inspector didn’t seem to be that arsed.
‘This is a police investigation,’ the inspector said. ‘And we will explore all possibilities. Now if there’s nothing else I am rather busy being a public servant.’
‘No wonder the police get criticised,’ Granny said. ‘If a speed camera needed maintenance you’d have an armed response unit there in a blink of an eye.’ Speed cameras were a particular bug bear with Granny who had accrued twelve penalty points and lost her licence several months previously.
‘Is that all?’ the inspector said, keeping his voice calm but his eyes belied the fact that he was in control. They blazed with fury and the inspector was nervously chewing on the corner of his lower lip.’
Granny stood up and turned on her feet. She opened the door but before leaving she turned back to look at the inspector.
‘I’ll prove Stan is innocent,’ she said.
‘You do that,’ the inspector turned back to his paperwork, but then he looked back at the old woman, locking eye contact. ‘But don’t involve yourself in police business and keep out of our way. If you make a nuisance of yourself I’ll send one of my public servants around to arrest you.’
‘You’ll see,’ Granny said and now it was her turn to fight to keep herself under control. The policeman’s superior attitude was getting up her nose. ‘I’ll prove Stan is innocent. You just watch.’
She then thought it prudent to quickly close the door behind her and leave in as rapid a fashion as was possible.
Nine
For Twice life couldn’t really get much better.
‘Of course I had to do a course before I was allowed to drive the police car,’ he said, taking great pleasure from the cars slowing down in front of them as soon as they noticed him in their rear-view mirror. ‘Two courses, actually. I’m allowed to use the vehicle for patrols and in a response situation.’
Granny smiled and pressed the button on the dashboard that was marked, sirens. Immediately the police siren sounded and the lights upon the roof started to flash which had the effect of bringing the traffic in front of them to a virtual standstill.
‘Stop that,’ Twice said and switched off the siren. ‘You’ll get me in trouble. You’re supposed to sit in the back, you know.’ He quickly overtook several of the cars in front before pulling back into the line of traffic.’
‘You said you can use it in a response situation.’
Twice smiled, as though dealing with a child.
‘But taking you home is not a response situation.’
‘The inspector told you to take me home and you responded,’ Granny saw the road ahead that led to the rear of the community centre. That was where Edith’s body had been found. ‘Left here.’
‘What?’ Twice looked at the old woman. ‘I know the best way to your house. I’ve been to your house many times.’
‘I want to go that way,’ Granny said. ‘Now take this left.’
Twice sighed, turned left.
They were driving along the old mine road, skirting the industrial area which had fallen into disrepair since the industry had left the area. Every now and then Twice had to steer to avoid debris in the road.
‘Pull in there,’ Granny said, pointing to a lay-by.
‘What for?’
Do it, please,’ Granny said.
Again Twice sighed and, knowing it was no use arguing with the old woman he pulled the car over.
‘Now what?’ Twice asked.
‘There,’ Granny said, pointing to a banking that ran alongside them. ‘Up there is where they found Edith’s body.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes,’ Granny said and let herself out of the car.
‘Wait,’ Twice said and then jumped out himself. He watched as Granny stepped over a clump of nettles and carefully made her way up the banking. ‘Where are you going?’
‘To take a look,’ Granny shout
ed back over her shoulder.
Twice locked the police car and followed after her. He wondered if he could arrest the woman for being a pain in the arse. That would show her that he had the same powers as the regular police.
‘The police would have already searched the area,’ he shouted. ‘I don’t know what you’re expecting to find.’
They reached the top of the banking and stood there, looking at the remains of the police tape. Most had been removed but there was still a small section helpfully marking the spot where the body had been found.
‘That’s the community centre in the distance,’ Granny said. ‘That’s where Mrs Enoch and Snooky came from. They walked across the field and the dog found the body in the ditch there.’
Twice nodded. He had heard from his wife that it was Mrs Enoch who had found the body of Edith Sullivan.
‘The police would have been over every inch of this ground with a fine toothcomb,’ he said.
‘But maybe the police didn’t know what they were looking for,’ Granny said, and started to where the police tape fluttered in the wind.
‘Do you?’
‘I’ll know when I find it,’ Granny said.
Resigned, Twice followed after the old woman. It was a good thing the weather had been so dry lately otherwise they would have found themselves up to their knees in mud, and the special constable would have hated to get his regulation boots dirty. As it was the ground was baked hard and they had no problem crossing the uneven surface.
Granny reached the police tape and then knelt down, looking into the ditch in front of them, thinking this was where poor Edith had been found.
Had she been brought here alive and then finished off?
Or had she been killed elsewhere and brought here afterwards?
No, Granny didn’t think the latter was the case as it was much more likely Edith had used the field as a shortcut to the village after leaving the fete when her attacker had come upon her. The problem with that was that it would mean that neither Nigel nor Sheila could have had anything to do with the murder, because they had been at the fete all day.
‘Can you find out what time Edith died?’ Granny asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Twice said. ‘Maybe I could. It depends.’
‘Will the post mortem tell us that?’
‘I think so, yes.’
‘To the second?’ Granny asked.
Twice shrugged his shoulders. ‘I know they can narrow it down to a few hours but I’m not sure as to the exact second.’
Pity, Granny thought. Since finding out the reasons behind Stan’s outburst with Sheila earlier, Granny had convinced herself that Sheila and Nigel were somehow involved in all this.
Had Edith found something out about Nigel?
Had she been silenced because of that discovery?
None of it made any sense but other than the possibility of this being a random attack, it was the only theory Granny had.
Twice stared thoughtfully into the ditch. The breeze seemed to pick up and sent a chill down the back of his neck.
‘There’s nothing to see,’ he said. ‘Come on let’s take you home.’
Granny looked up at Twice and smiled, weakly. She nodded and with a groan straightened her legs.
‘Tell me,’ she said. ‘Do you think Stan killed her?’
Twice looked at the old woman for a moment before answering. He had known both Stan and Edith a long time, and although he couldn’t discount the possibility he had to admit that no, he didn’t think Stan was capable of such a thing.
‘No,’ he said. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘Nor do I,’ Granny said. ‘But your inspector seems to think it was Stan. I don’t think he’s going to look elsewhere.’
‘The inspector’s a good policeman,’ Twice said. ‘If Stan is innocent then I’m sure he’ll find out who the real killer is.’
‘I hope so,’ Granny said. ‘I really do hope so.’
‘Come on, let’s go.’ Twice said.
Granny nodded.
‘Come on then, Dai Twice, she said. ‘Take me home in your nice new police car.’
‘Constable Davies,’ Twice reminded her.
‘Aye, Constable,’ Granny said. Though he’d always be Dai Twice to her.
They carefully made their way down the banking but when they reached the bottom they found that their way back to the road was blocked by thick shrubbery. They had drifted a few hundred yards coming down the banking and would have to walk back along the hedgerow until they came across a clearing that would allow them to get back to the road.
‘Have you met that Nigel Charlton?’ Granny asked as they made their way across the uneven ground.
Twice nodded.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘At the village fete, funnily enough. I was with the wife and we bumped into them and Sheila introduced us.’
‘What did you make of him?’
‘Well, he seemed a nice enough sort. Well spoken, a little posh.’
‘And they didn’t strike you as odd?’
‘In what way?’
‘Well as you say, he’s a little posh and Sheila’s as common as muck. Nigel’s also a very handsome man and Sheila, well she’s Sheila.’
‘It takes all sorts,’ Twice said and then added with a grin: ‘Mind you if Sheila had any money I would have thought he was after her for it.’
‘Precisely,’ Granny said.
‘You know what they say,’ Twice pointed out. ‘Love is blind.’
‘Well, short-sighted at least,’ Granny answered, thoughtfully.
‘Oh no,’ Twice said, as if suddenly remembering something he should have done.
‘What?’ Granny looked at him.
‘Look,’ Twice pointed ahead of them.
Granny followed the finger.
‘What is it?’
‘A dog, I think.’ Twice said.
A dog! It was a massive beast; a creature that would put the hound of the Baskervilles to shame and it was coming towards them at great speed. As Granny watched she picked out a distant figure of a man running, waving a stick above his head and shouting at the creature. The dog’s owner, no doubt.
‘Do you think it’s nasty?’ Twice asked, and wished he had his pepper spray with him.
‘Just keep still,’ Granny advised. ‘Don’t show your fear. Dogs can sense fear and they don’t like it.’
Twice felt his stomach lurch. Any moment now and he wouldn’t have to worry about showing his fear, the dog would be able to smell it.
The dog was close enough now to identify and Granny recognised it as a Great Dane. A hulking jet-black creature with a tail that whipped the air behind it as the powerful leg muscles propelled the beast forward.
‘It’s coming straight at us,’ Twice stammered, stating the rather obvious.
‘Keep still,’ Granny warned. ‘Show no fear.’
‘Fear,’ Twice stammered. ‘I’m shitting myself.’
Now the dog was only ten or so feet away from them and they fancied they could feel its breath on the air. Spittle dripped from the sides of its massive jaw and its tongue flicked back at forth, revealing glistening white fangs.
‘Don’t move a muscle,’ Granny warned. ‘Keep perfectly still.’
And then the dog was upon them, but rather than attacking them it seemed largely oblivious to them and it simply barged between them. Its powerful hindquarters struck Twice on the leg, unbalancing the special constable and sending him toppling into the hedgerow.
The dog simply kept running, its owner yelling and screaming as he ran after it.
‘Sorry,’ he said as he passed Granny and continued his pursuit of the wayward animal.
Granny looked around for Twice but the special constable was nowhere to be seen. She frowned and then heard his groans coming from within the hedgerow.
‘Are you okay?’ Granny asked peering through the thick brambles.
‘I banged my head,’ Twice said. ‘And my ankle’s killing me.’
/> ‘Where are you?’ Granny asked. She couldn’t see him through the thick brambles but she could hear him moving about. The hedge shook as somewhere within, Davies snapped another branch as he tried to get to his feet.
‘Can you help me out?’ Davies yelled and then let out another yelp. ‘My uniform’s going to be ruined with all these thorns,’ he complained and once again let out a cry or pain.
Granny spotted him. She could see one of the high visibility stripes on his jacket as he thrashed about getting more and more entangled with each movement.
‘Stop panicking,’ she shouted. ‘You’re just getting yourself trussed up like a turkey. Just walk out slowly and watch your eyes, those brambles can do some damage.’
‘You don’t say,’ Twice said, managing sarcasm the best he could given the circumstances. He started thrashing about again, let out another yelp of pain and then fell silent, still.
‘What is it?’ Granny yelled, trying to see what was happening but from what she could make out Twice was standing perfectly still, head down, looking at the ground.
‘I don’t believe it,’ Twice said.
‘What?’
Suddenly Twice threw himself forward and shielding his eyes with a protective forearm he forced his way out of the hedge and stood panting. Granny noticed his face and hands were a mess of tiny scratches, several of which were bleeding.
‘What’s is it?’ Granny prompted.
‘Stay here,’ Twice said. ‘Mark this spot. I’ve left my radio in the car and I need to radio this in.’
‘What?’ Granny grabbed his arm, before he could leave her. ‘What is it?’
‘I think we may have found the murder weapon,’ Twice said, pulled himself free and started running towards the police car.
Ten
‘Well, well,’ the chief inspector said. ‘If it isn’t Miss Marple on steroids.’
Granny, sat on a folding chair that one of the constables had provided, sipped at the brandy she had been given. She didn’t really feel the need for it but the doctor had insisted and she could see no reason to refuse a medical man.
‘Maybe this will prove that Stan had nothing to do with it,’ she said.
‘That remains to be seen,’ Miskin said but Granny noticed that he didn’t sound quite so arrogant as he had earlier. That gave the old woman some satisfaction and she pulled her pipe from her pocket and, after filling the bowl, took a match to it.