'Well, it looks as if the next person he blows a report at could be Charon the ferryman.'
'Oh dear, poor Charon'' sneered Momus, with the cheery expression of a man who was just thinking that if Anacrites had sailed away on the decrepit punt to Hades, he might immediately apply for Anacrites' job. Some state employees love to hear about a colleague's premature demise.
'Charon's going to be busy,' I commented. 'Villains have been cracking spies' heads all over the Esquiline. There was also a pleasant lad who used to do surveillance work.'
'Do I know him, Falco?'
'Valentinus.'
Momus let out a snarl of disgust. 'Oh Jupiter! Dead? That's terrible. Valentinus who lived on the Esquiline? Oh no; he was class, Falco. He must have been the best snuffler Anacrites used.'
'Well, he's not on the staff roll.'
'Better sense. He stayed freelance. Self-employed. I used him myself sometimes.'
'What for?'
'Oh… tracking down runaways.' The alleged overseer looked vague. I reckoned whatever Momus used Valentinus for would give me a queasy stomach. I decided not to know.
'Was he good?'
'The best. Straight, fast, decent to deal with, and accurate.'
I sighed. More and more this sounded like a man I would have liked to share a drink with. I could have made friends with Valentinus last night at the dinner, if I had only realised. Then maybe if we had rolled out of the Palace together like cronies, events might have turned out differently for the freelance. Together we might have fought off his attackers. It could have saved his life.
Momus was eyeing me up. He knew I had an interest. 'You going to sort this out, Falco?'
'It looks like a murky fishpond. Reckon I stand a chance?'
'No. You're a clown.'
'Thanks, Momus.'
'My pleasure.'
'Don't enjoy yourself too much with the hard-hitting insults; I may prove you wrong.'
'Virgins might stay chaste!'
I sighed. 'Heard anything about any dirty goings-on in Baetica?'
'No. Baetica's all sunshine and fish-sauce.'
'Know anything about the Society of Olive Oil Producers, then?'
'Load of old belchers who meet in the basement and plot how they can straighten out the world?'
'They didn't seem to be plotting last evening, just stuffing their faces. Oh, and most were trying to ignore a group of genuine Baetican visitors.'
'That's them!' grinned Momus. 'They pretend to love anything Hispanic – but only if it can be served on a dish.' I gathered that the Society was officially deemed innocuous. As usual, Momus knew more about it than a slave overseer should. 'Anacrites got himself voted into the club so he could keep an eye on them.'
Was political scheming likely?'
'Piddle! He just liked feeding at their well-filled manger.' 'Well, as anarchists they didn't look very adventurous.' 'Of course not,' scoffed Momus. 'I haven't noticed the world being straightened out, have you?'
There was not much else Momus could tell me about Anacrites or Valentinus – or at least nothing he was prepared to reveal. But with his knowledge of the unfree workforce he did know which usher had been running the dinner for the Society. While I was at the Palace I looked out this man and talked to him.
He was a lugubrious slave called Helva. Like most palace types he looked oriental in origin and gave the impression he misunderstood whatever was being said to him, probably on purpose. He had an official job, but was trying to improve himself by sucking up to men of status; the Baetican Society members obviously saw him as a soft touch to be sneered at and put upon.
'Helva, who did the organising for this exclusive club?' 'An informal committee.' Unhelpful: clearly he could see my status did not call for an ingratiating style.
'Who was on it?'
'Whoever bothered to turn up when I insisted someone tell me what was wanted.'
'Some names would help,' I suggested pleasantly.
'Oh, Laeta and his deputies, then Quinctius Attractus -'
'Is he an overweight senator who likes holding court?' 'He has interests in Baetica and he's the big mover in the Society.'
'Is he Spanish by origin?'
'Not the slightest. Old patrician family.'
'I should have known. I understood the Society's real links with Hispania are defunct and that members try to deter provincials from attending?'
'Most do. Attractus is more enlightened.'
'You mean, he sees the Society as his personal platform for glory and he likes to suggest he can work wonders in Rome for any visitors from Spain? Is that why he hogs a private room?'
'Well, unofficially. Other members annoy him by barging in.'
'They think he's someone to annoy, do they?'
It looked to me as if Attractus, and possibly his Baetican friends, had been under observation – probably by both Anacrites and his agent. Was Anacrites suspicious of something they were up to? Did Attractus or the Baetican group want to wipe him out as a result? It looked all too obvious if they were the attackers. They surely must realise questions would be asked. Or was Attractus so arrogant he thought the attacks could be got away with?
Needing to think about that, I went back to my original question. 'Who else organises events?'
'Anacrites
'Anacrites? He never struck me as a dinner party planner! What was his role?'
'Be reasonable, Falco! He's a spy. What do you think his role is? On rare occasions when he exerts himself, he causes upsets. He really enjoys carping about the guests other members bring. "If you knew what I knew, you wouldn't mix with so-and-so…" All hints, of course; he never says why.'
'Master of the non-specific insult!'
'Then if ever I upset him he'll query the accounts for the previous party and accuse me of diddling them. The rest of the time he does nothing, or as little as possible.'
Did he have anything special to say about yesterday?' 'No. Only that he wanted space for himself and his guest in the private room.'
'Why?'
'Usual reason: it was bound to offend Attractus.' 'And the spy's guest was Valentinus?'
'No, it was the senator's son,' said Helva. 'The one who just came back from Corduba.'
Aelianus?' Helena's brother! Well, that explained how Aelianus had wheedled his way in – on the tunic tail of the Chief Spy. Unhealthy news.
'I know the family – I didn't realise Anacrites and Aelianus were on such good terms.'
'I don't suppose they are,' Helva remarked cynically. 'I expect one of them thought the other would do him some good – and if you know Anacrites you can bet which way the benefit was supposed to flow!'
It left an unanswered question. 'You knew who I meant when I mentioned Valentinus. Who brought him last night?'
'No one.' Helva gave me a narrow look. He was trying to work out how much I knew. All I had to do now was work out what dubious situation I was reckoned to know about, and I could press him hard. Until then I was likely to miss something important.
'Look, was Valentinus an official member of the Society?' Helva must have known I could check up; he reluctantly shook his head. 'So how much money did he slip you to let him in?'
'That's a disgusting suggestion; I'm a reputable state servant -'
I named the sum that I would have offered and Helva in his gloomy-faced way told me I was a mean bastard who gave bribery a bad name.
I decided to appeal to his better nature, if he had one. 'I don't suppose you've heard – Anacrites has been badly hurt.'
'Yes, I heard it's a big secret.'
Then I told him that Valentinus was actually dead. This time his face fell. All slaves can spot serious trouble. 'So this is bad, Helva. Time to cough, or it will be the Guards you have to talk to. Had Valentinus paid you to admit him to any previous dinners?'
'Once or twice. He knew how to behave himself. He could fit in. Besides, I had seen Anacrites wink at him so I assumed it was something I was supposed to
allow.'
'How did he wangle himself a place in the private room?'
'Pure skill,' said Helva, frowning with admiration. 'He picked up one of the Baeticans as they arrived in the lobby and sauntered in chattering to him.' I knew the trick. A few minutes discussing the weather can admit you to many private parties. Quinctius Attractus was not officially supposed to reserve that room for himself. If there were free places anyone could take them.'
'So he didn't object to Valentinus?'
'He couldn't. Any more than he could complain about being landed with Anacrites. They took their couches among his party as if it were a coincidence, and he had to put up with it. Anyway, Attractus is not observant. He was probably so busy getting hot under the tunic about Anacrites, he never noticed Valentinus was there too.'
I wondered if the blinkered senator had noticed me.
I asked Helva about the entertainment. 'Who booked the musicians?'
'I did.'
'Is that routine? Do you pick the performers yourself?' 'Quite often. The members are only really interested in food and wine.'
'Is there always a Spanish dancer?'
'It seems appropriate. She's not really Spanish, incidentally.' Just like most 'Thracian' gladiators, 'Egyptian' fortune-tellers, and 'Syrian' flute players. Come to that, most of the 'Spanish hams' bought at food markets were previously seen skipping around pig farms in Latium.
'She? Is it always the same one?'
'She's not bad, Falco. The members feel reassured if they recognise the entertainment. They don't watch her much anyway; they only care about their food and drink.'
Attractus was boasting he paid for her. Is that usual?'
'He always does. It's supposed to be a generous gesture – well, it shows he's rich, and of course he gets to have the dancing performed first wherever he's dining himself. The other members are happy to let him contribute, and his guests are impressed.'
He told me the girl's name was Perella. Half an hour later I was bracing myself to square up to the immaculate body that I had last seen in hunting gear.
I had a slight surprise. I was expecting to meet the dashing Diana with the blue-black hair who had elected to be so rude to me. To my surprise Perella, who was supposed to be the dancer who performed regularly at the Society of Olive Oil Producers of Baetica, was a short, stout, surly blonde.
XI
'Blonde' was putting it kindly. She had hair the texture of mule fodder and about the same shade. It looked as if she styled it once a month then just poked in more bone pins when ends worked loose. You could see why independent- minded pieces of the fantastic coiffure might want to make a break for freedom. The high-piled construction looked as if she was keeping three white mice and her dowry in it.
Lower down, the scenario improved somewhat. I won't say she was tasty, but her person was clean and tidy. As a chaste, ethereal moon goddess she would be a disaster, though as a companion in a wine bar she might be cracking good fun. She was of an age where you could rely on her having had a fair old amount of experience – in almost anything.
'Oh! Am I in the right place? I'm looking for Perella. Are you her friend?'
'I'm her!' So Perella was definitely the wrong dancer. She was putting out a smile that she meant to be winsome: wrong assumption, but I could cope with that. 'What might you be looking for, centurion?'
'Chaste conversation, sweetheart.' She knew better than to believe it. Her outlook on society was mature. 'The name's Falco.' It meant nothing to her, apparently. Well, sometimes it was best if my reputation had not gone before me. Critics can be uncouth. 'I expect you'd like my credentials. Do you know Thalia, the snake dancer at Nero's Circus?'
'Never heard of her.' So much for my guaranteed entrto the world of Terpsichore.
'Well, if you knew her, she'd vouch for me.'
'As what?' asked the dancer, pointedly.
'As an honest man on an important quest with a few simple queries to put to you.'
'Such as?'
'Why wasn't a luscious piece like you dancing at the dinner for the Society of Baetican Oil Producers two nights ago?'
'Why do you ask?' leered Perella. 'Were you there hoping to watch me – or were they only letting in the rich, handsome ones?'
'I was there.'
'I always told them they had a slack door policy.' 'Don't be cruel! Anyway, you're a regular. What happened to you that night?'
Getting tough actually softened her up. 'Don't ask me,' she confided in a cheerful tone. 'The message just came that I was not wanted so I stayed in and put my feet up.'
'Who sent you the message?'
'Helva presumably.'
'No. Helva still thinks you did the act. He told me to ask you about it.'
Perella squared up, looking angry. 'Then somebody's messed me about!'
The thought crossed my mind that Helva himself might have decided to employ a higher-class dancer and that he had been scared of telling Perella – but then he would hardly have sent me along here to give him away. 'Who was it came to warn you off, Perella? Can you give a description?'
'No idea. I never took any notice of him.' I waited while she scanned her memory, a slow process apparently – though I did wonder if she was considering whether she wanted to tell me the truth She looked older than a dancer should, with coarser skin and bonier limbs. Close to, these performers are never as refined as they appear when in costume. 'Dark fellow,' she said eventually. 'Had a few years on him.' Sounded like one of Diana's tame musicians.
'Seen him before?'
'Not to remember.'
'And what exactly did he say?'
'That Helva apologised, but the bloody Baetican troughnuzzlers had decided not to have music.'
'Any reason??
'None. I thought either the new Emperor had put his foot down about them using the rooms for enjoying themselves, or they had run out of money and couldn't find my fee.'
'They looked a well-packed lot.'
'Mean, though!' replied Perella, with feeling. 'Most of them spend the whole time moaning how much the dinners cost them; they wouldn't have entertainers at all. There's a swank who pays -'
'Quinctius Attractus?'
'That's him. He usually pays up, but it takes several tries to get it and there's never a sniff of a tip!'
'So he could decide to hire his own girl, if he wanted to?' 'The bastard could,' Perella agreed sourly.
'Would he bother to tell Helva?'
'No. He's a nob. He doesn't understand about organisation. He wouldn't think of it.'
'And would the girl be able to get in without Helva noticing that she wasn't you?'
'Helva's so short-sighted you have to get an inch from his nose before he can see who you are. Anyone who rattled a tambourine would sail straight in.'
So there had been a set-up. It came as no surprise that the so-called 'good girl from Hispalis' was not as good as she pretended. In my experience good girls never are.
Perella had nothing more to tell me. I was left with a loose end: unknown entertainers had deliberately muscled in and taken the usual dancer's place. They knew enough to use Helva's name in a convincing fake message. Knew it, or had been told what to say. Were they specifically booked by Attractus, or did he just accept that Helva had acquired them? And why? I would be asking the senator, but somehow I guessed in advance that tracing the lovely Diana and her two dark-skinned musicians would be next to impossible.
They could have been sent to the dinner by Anacrites. They could have been infiltrated by someone outside (a jealous would-be member of the dining club, perhaps?). Or they could have come of their own accord. They might have nothing at all to do with the attacks on Anacrites and Valentinus. Even though circumstances had made them look suspicious, they mignt simply be struggling performers who had failed to persuade Helva to give them an audition, and who then used their initiative.
But I told Perella she had been trounced by a very slick rival, and probably one who had had more tha
n Spanish dancing in mind. Perella shoved a couple of new hairpins into her tumbling scarecrow coiffure, and gave me an unfathomable look. She threatened to 'sort' the girl from Hispalis. She sounded as if she meant it too. I left her my address in case she had any success.
'By the way, Perella, if you do meet this girl be careful how you tangle with her. It looks as if she was involved in a killing that night – and in a nasty attack on the Chief Spy.'
Perella went white. 'Anacrites?'
As she stood staring I added, 'You'd do best to avoid her. Finding this one is a job for an agent – and a good one at that.'
'And you reckon you're up to it, Falco?' Perella asked drily.
I gave her my best smile.
I was not yet ready for another conversation with Laeta, so I escaped from the Palace, ran some domestic errands, then went home to Helena for lunch. Fried anchovies in a plain wine sauce. Unassuming but tasty.
Helena told me I had received a message of my own that morning. It was from Petronius. He had found out something useful: I went straight out after eating, taking Helena with me for the exercise, and also Nux in the vain hope that while the scruffy hound was careering around in circles we might lose her somewhere. Petro was at home, off duty. Helena went off with his wife while Nux and I found my old. crony in the yard at the back, doing woodwork.
'This is for you, Falco. I hope you're grateful.' 'What is it – a small coffin or a large brooch box?'
'Stop playing the fool. It's going to be a cradle.' Nux jumped in to try it. Petro turfed her out again.
'It's going to be a good one then,' I smiled. That was true. Petro enjoyed carpentry and was skilled at it. Always methodical and practical, he had a decent respect for wood. He was making a bed where eventually the sturdy unborn one who was already kicking me in the ribs every night would be safe; it had half-moon rockers, a knob to hang a rattle on, and a canopy over the pillow end. I felt touched.
'Yes, well; it's for the baby, so if your lousy behaviour makes Helena Justina leave you, this cradle will have to go with her.'
'I doubt it,' I scoffed. 'If she flits she'll leave the baby behind.' Petronius looked horrified, so I carried on appalling him: 'Helena only likes children when they are old enough to hold adult conversations. The bargain is, she'll carry my offspring and give it birth but only on condition I'm there to defend her from the midwife and that afterwards I bring it up myself until it's old enough to pay its own tavern bills.'
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