by Sarah Noffke
That single day holds more regrets than any other. And the biggest one was that I failed to kill the devil. Maybe it was because Allouette still owned a piece of me. Maybe it was because my attention was distracted by the squirming mess in my arms. Or maybe it’s because I wasn’t as dark as I thought. I wasn’t a murderer. I released my mind control on Allouette prematurely, allowing God to decide what to do with the devil. And he decided not to kill his greatest adversary.
Chapter Twenty
It was simply unfathomable that I knew so much about this girl I had brainwashed under Allouette’s instructions, but that I never knew she was pregnant. For some reason I didn’t sense it when I was in her mind. It was hard for me to realize that I was so thoroughly responsible for a woman’s death, a mother-to-be. What would my own mum think if she knew I was to blame for taking away two children’s mother? She always said there was nothing I could do that she wouldn’t forgive, but what I’d done was unforgivable. I’d gone along with Allouette’s plan, knowing the result. Knowing a girl would be murdered. But everything in theory sounds much easier than it is in reality. To think about someone being killed and then watching it happen are starkly different. I will never forget watching Eloise be murdered during childbirth. It is the grossest thing I’ve ever witnessed.
With the images from that afternoon still playing in my head, I carried the two newborns through the streets of Stockholm. Being inside Eloise’s head for six months, I knew much about her. I knew her favorite ice cream was chocolate, that she loved poetry, and in the evening her husband would rub her swollen feet. I also knew her address.
The paranoia set in immediately. I knew Chase was going to come after me, I just didn’t know when. I whipped my head around constantly as I neared Trey Underwood’s residence. His children fussed in my arms and I had no idea if I was holding them properly or suffocating them.
I paused on the cobbled road outside his door and mustered a courage I never before needed. I’m not a man who has ever made any apologies. Actually, I’ve only ever made one, and it was on that day.
I had shuffled the babies around trying to free up a hand to knock with, but I couldn’t manage it. My elbow clumsily bumped against the door trying to make a knocking sound. A half a minute passed before a man pulled the door back. He had straight blond hair and a look of fear in his blue eyes. Of course, Trey knew his wife was missing. She’d abandoned him early this morning, as I had made her do under Allouette’s instructions.
Trey’s eyes scanned my face and then the wiggling towels in my arms. His eyes widened with a look of shock so horrifying my knees actually softened a great deal.
“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “I failed to save her, but I did save your children.”
“What are you saying?” he said through clenched teeth, his eyes sharpening with fury.
“Eloise is dead,” I said, my voice catching. “And it’s my fault.”
“It was you?” Trey said. I could tell then that he was a brilliant man and pieced together things very quickly. “You made her leave the house this morning, didn’t you?” He ripped the tiny, bloodstained babies out of my arms.
“Yes, I’ve had mind control on her for several months. I lured her away, but Allouette killed her. I didn’t know she was pregnant. I didn’t know so much,” I said, running my hand through my hair. “Chase and Allouette convinced me to do it. I didn’t know she was pregnant. I didn’t know what I was doing…and I can’t take back what I’ve done. I know I can’t excuse my behavior,” I said in a hoarse voice, my words rushed. They were all filled with panic. “If somehow I could prove to you that I never meant for this to happen then I would. I wish––”
And then I paused. Something suddenly appeared beside Trey. My eyes skirted to it at once. It was a girl who had just popped up. Not a projection, but a real girl. And yet I could see through her, like she was a ghost. And I knew at once she wasn’t actually a ghost. She was a Dream Traveler, in the other dimension. She was dream traveling, but somehow I could see her. I wasn’t supposed to be able to. The laws of the universe prevented it and yet I know for a fact that that day I saw a small blonde teenager staring back at me during my confession. Startled and shaking, I took a sudden step back. And then I realized that she couldn’t harm me. Driven by curiosity I stretched out my hand to the girl, wanting to know if I could feel her or sense anything about her. A look of shock blanketed her face then too. She realized I could see her and looked as perplexed by the happening as I was.
“Get out of my sight,” Trey barked, revulsion in his voice.
I snapped my attention on Trey, feeling completely disoriented. My eyes flicked back in the girl’s direction as I nodded slowly. “Yes, of course,” I said, looking from Trey to the girl, my brow knitted with confusion. I stepped back, at a loss and also wanting to ask the girl a question, wanting to say more to Trey, but before I could he slammed the door in my face.
I wouldn’t meet that girl in person for sixteen more years, but I would know her for all of her life.
Chapter Twenty-One
August 1997
For three weeks I lived in a constant vigilant state. I didn’t dare stay in any place for long. I hardly slept or dream traveled. Chase would come after me. I knew that. I had betrayed him. He’d warned me what he did to people who went against him. Torture and kill them.
Eloise had died, but I’d taken her babies and brought them to safety. I saw then that Chase’s master plan had been to ensure the deaths of Eloise and Trey’s offspring. He would have total revenge. And just as Eloise had done I’d betrayed Chase, knowing exactly what he was capable of. I had deluded myself into believing she somehow deserved to die because she’d been so foolish to go against such a powerful man. Then I went and did the same exact thing. And now my punishment for that was Eloise’s death etched into my mind.
I couldn’t use any of my bank accounts during those three weeks, too fearful that it would flag Chase’s attention. I knew he had ways of finding people. He had found Eloise in Stockholm, a place she thought she would be safe from him. Every night I was in a different city, every few days a different country. I had gone back to scamming after my six-month hiatus. I needed cash to get around.
I was running a scam in a coffee shop in Prague when I was finally caught. To my astonishment it wasn’t Chase who found me first. I bolted to a standing position, leaving the old woman who was about to invest in my venture capital idea in a state of confusion. There standing in the entryway to the cafe was Trey Underwood, the Associate Head official for the Lucidites. He was regarding me with a flat, unreadable expression. I knew he was there to kill me. Whereas Chase had zero reason to murder me, as I knew he wanted to do, Trey had every reason.
I was the reason his wife was dead. I ripped my mind control out of the elderly woman’s head and instantly shot the claw of control at Trey. And it was then that I realized I was as screwed as if I was facing Chase. Trey’s mind was also guarded from my penetration. I could have tried hypnosis but my adrenaline was making it impossible to concentrate. Since Allouette, I’d lost a piece of my cool confidence. It was like losing a kidney. I was still functioning with my partial confidence but not at optimal levels.
My eyes darted to the back entrance of the cafe. I immediately thought I should make a run for it. And just then something crushed a part of my remaining spirit. I was now resorting to lowly criminal behavior. I was no better than a Middling if I was considering running to get out of trouble. I’d gotten in over my head.
Trey stood assessing me, his hand fidgeting at his side. I wasn’t certain what his gifts were or what he’d do to me, but if someone had killed the love of my life I’d smash their head in. Slowly.
I took two steps toward the exit. Trey just watched, not having moved since he entered the cafe. His eyes were studying me, measuring me with a strange calculating look. Making an impromptu decision I kicked the table in front of me in Trey’s direction. It knocked into the old woman. A
group rushed the scene to help her. I then darted for the exit. People jumped back as I barreled toward the alley. Behind me patrons erupted with complaints and I knew the path Trey would need to take was being partially obstructed.
I threw the exit door open and ran out into the alleyway. One side was blocked by a chain fence so I chose the other, which spilled out onto Jelení Street. I was halfway through the alley when I whipped my head over my shoulder and realized I wasn’t being followed. I turned back around. And then like a projection coming to life Trey Underwood sprang up from the bricks. I firmly believed it was an illusion meant to stall me and so I didn’t make the effort to dart around it. Besides, illusions in the physical realm aren’t solid. But to my horror I ran straight into Trey’s solid body. I fell back from the force of the collision, landing hard on the pavement. My hands came down to cushion my fall and my skin was instantly ripped off my palms. Trey, who must have expected I’d attempt to run into him, was jarred by the encounter but remained upright.
My tailbone instantly ached from the crash to the ground. A searing pain shot up my back, sending my face into a series of grimaces as I made to stand. I was a man and I was going to face what came next standing upright. But first I had questions and maybe they would buy me time. I wiped my bloody hands down my trousers.
“How are you solid?” I asked.
“You think I’m an illusion, but I’m not. I’m really here,” Trey said in a calm voice.
“How did you get…?” I turned and looked at the alleyway and then to Trey.
“I teleported,” he said.
My mouth fell open but nothing came out. Fuck, I thought. I know how to make badass enemies.
“I’m not here to hurt you, Ren,” Trey said, a diplomatic elegance in his voice.
I stared down at my raw hands and flicked a skeptical glare at him. “Somehow I doubt that.”
“I apologize that you have been injured, but I couldn’t risk letting you get away,” he said, his voice strangely sounding sincere. “It’s been incredibly difficult to track you down.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “How did you find me?”
“News reports,” he said.
“What? I’ve made the bloody news?”
He shook his head. “No, my apologies. I meant the Lucidite news reports. They are confidential and only shared with Lucidites.”
Now both my eyebrows were raised, wrinkling my forehead.
Reading the confusion on my face Trey said, “We have a team of clairvoyants at the Institute. They’re known as news reporters. We use them to find future events of concern. Most times they find urgent events. Ones where we can intervene. Tragedies, natural disasters, you get the idea?”
I nodded.
“Well, I had my team hone in on events connected to you until I found this moment in time. It wasn’t their normal job but they’re trained well enough that they can usually find events related to certain people’s energies,” Trey said.
“Teleporters and news reporters who report on future events. Do you all fly too?” I said, pulling a handkerchief from my jacket pocket and wrapping it around my bleeding palm.
“No, flying would be ridiculous,” he said, a lightness in his voice but none of it present on his face.
“So you wanted to find me. Here I am,” I said, holding my arms out in a presenting manner. “What exactly are you going to do to me now?”
Trey ran his hands through his short blond hair. The guy looked tired but he’d kind of been through a lot thanks to me. “I’m not going to do anything to you. I’m here to ask you a question.”
“How do I want to die? Is that the question?” I said, stretching my compressed back, which was now throbbing from my fall.
“No, I was going to ask you if you wanted a job,” Trey said.
I dared to put my back to this man and walked over to the brick wall. I leaned up against it, kicking one foot up behind me to support my balance. “I suppose you want me to go after Chase. I can’t take back what happened, but I’m off doing jobs for other people. I don’t want to get mixed up in love triangles gone wrong anymore.”
Trey swiveled so he was facing me straight on. “I don’t want you to seek revenge on Chase for me.”
“Allouette then?” I said. The bitch hadn’t died. Apparently God decided he would lose his followers if there was no devil to pray for protection from. I had seen her stalking me in Turkey a week prior. I hightailed it out of that country at once. She’d probably been able to dream travel to a GAD-C and generate her body before it drowned.
“No, I don’t want you for any revenge. Retribution doesn’t work. And it’s not what Eloise would have wanted,” Trey said, his voice catching on his wife’s name. “This job doesn’t involve hurting or lying or stealing.”
I shot him a look of mock confusion. “Well, what else is there?”
“There’s helping people, saving them, and preserving a safer future for everyone,” he said with a passionate conviction.
This guy sounded like he was about to start preaching at me. I didn’t do sermons. “How are your children?” I asked in an attempt to divert wherever this was going. This wasn’t a typical question for me, but I felt a strange obligation to care about this man and his children.
“They’re fine but I had to send them away and split them up,” he said, a new grief springing to his features.
“What?” I said, not having expected that answer.
“They’re being hunted. It was for their protection,” Trey said, and I saw the deep regret in his eyes. “They weren’t safe with me.”
“Oh, Chase, right?” I said, nodding, thinking of how he probably already had Allouette stalking the infants when she wasn’t after me.
“Yes, Chase, but someone else too. Someone as dangerous as him,” he said.
Damn, this guy makes enemies like I do.
“Ren, there are dangers in the world. Dangers that with skills like yours I could fight with greater success.”
“I’m responsible for your wife’s death,” I said, having a hard time with the sentence. “Why would you want to offer me a job?”
Trey blew out a long breath. “I don’t think you knew what you were doing, not until it was already done. Your power has made you calloused to the world around you. I think now you will see things differently. Make decisions differently. I regret that my wife had to be the mistake that made you change, but I think now you will,” Trey said. The look in this man’s eyes was strange to me. He was looking at me directly, and not flinching like most. And then there was something else in his expression. I think it’s called “sincerity,” but I didn’t think it was a real thing. I thought sincerity was a myth that didn’t exist in real people, only those in the bible and Santa Claus and my parents, of course. “I recognize that you’re incredibly powerful and intelligent and have abused that skill,” Trey continued. “I’m offering you a second chance to become something different than what you’ve been. I’m offering you a job to rid this world of some of its evils.”
A chill ran through my sore back at the mention of “a second chance.” The phrase reminded me of my mum’s words on her deathbed. I shook away the feeling. “Some of its evils?” I repeated. “Right, because it’s impossible to stomp out all of them,” I said with a cold laugh. “Trey, I appreciate your ‘make a better future’ mentality but the reality is there will always be evil. Yin and yang. Light and dark. God and devil. You can’t have one without the other.”
“Believe me, I know that,” he said and allowed an edge of the pain I knew he harbored to skip to the surface. “But another very possible reality is that one overtakes the other. The Lucidites clean up the messes, like things the Voyageurs do. In some cases we prevent it from happening. But the balance is wrong right now. And news reports are bleak about the future. Currently we are facing losing to evil but with your help we could have more of an impact. I don’t have anyone with skills like yours on my staff and it’s what we need at this point. You
could help me save my children from this evil,” Trey said. This guy had a demeanor about him I’d rarely encountered. He was real. What he said he meant. It was a strange thing to witness after my time with Allouette and Chase.
I regarded Trey for a long few seconds. What would Dahlia think if I took the good guy role? Would she laugh and say it wasn’t me? I blew out a frustrated breath, furious that I was even caring what she’d think. “Look, buddy, I’m sorry about your kids and I’m even sorrier about your wife, but saving the world isn’t my style,” I said, kicking off the wall and strolling back to the cafe.
“So what, are you just going to keep scamming old women to make money and then looking over your shoulder for Chase for the rest of your life?” Trey said to my back.
I had walked off only a few paces. I turned. “How is it that I won’t have to do that working for you? I know crusaders get paid shit since it’s mostly charity work. And Chase or Allouette will find me sooner or later. There’s no safe place.”
“News reporters don’t just report on urgent situations. They also report future lottery numbers, winning horses, and stocks that will become lucrative,” Trey said matter-of-factly.
“So what does that mean for me?” I said, crossing my arms.
“It means I’ll pay you well.”
“Pay me well?” I said, doubt heavy in my tone.
“You’ll be able to keep your multimillionaire status.”
“You can afford to do that?” I said, still in disbelief.
“The Lucidite Institute is extremely well endowed. We have supporters with deep pockets and multiple opportunities for investments every day. What we do and how we live isn’t cheap, and even still we have more money than we know what to do with.”
“Yeah, I know how that goes,” I said.
“And if you took this position then you would be a full-time resident of the Institute and I can promise you Chase and Allouette can’t trespass our grounds,” Trey said, all confidence. “We have top-notch security and are protected from most invaders. Voyageurs especially can’t break in.”