by Tracy Sharp
“You’re in your thirties now, Kicks. Gonna start feeling stuff catch up to you. I know the feeling. It sucks.” He bent his head from side to side, trying to loosen up his neck muscles.
I was the one who put that tension in his shoulders this time. Seemed I’d eventually be the death of anyone who cared about me. “Need to wake up.”
“I’m making pancakes and sausage in a minute.” Jack stood aside and let me by him.
“And coffee?” Jack made the best coffee on the planet. I didn’t know how he did it. I’d tried, using his exact measurements of coffee and water, but it never tasted the same. It had to be made by Jack. He had the magic touch.
“And coffee.”
“Okay. Be down in a minute.”
I took another shower. A long, steamy one.
One of these days, I’ll actually feel clean. I sighed, letting the water run over me. I looked through the rivulets of water running down the glass shower doors.
A blurry Pango sat outside the bathtub, watching me.
I peeked out at her.
She smiled at me. Her tail thumped on the floor.
“Be out in a minute, girl. Go keep Jack company, okay?”
She stood up and ambled out of the room.
When I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen, I didn’t feel like talking. Jack seemed to know this, and didn’t speak. He glanced at me, and then went about the business of pancake making in silence.
It was nice. I didn’t have to explain things to him. We could spend hours together not saying much and it was cool. He was the only person I’d ever met who was like that with me.
And that’s the way it was when he placed a stack cinnamon apple pancakes before me, sausage on the side, and my mug of coffee.
We sat and ate together, and didn’t have to say a word.
***
A week after Rina and Noel’s house of horrors, I got a call from the hospital regarding the results of the rape kit. I was supposed to go in and discuss them with the doctor.
I didn’t want to. But I knew that I had to. There were all kinds of repercussions associated with having been raped by Gabriel. The least of which, in my mind, was the possibility that he’d given me a sexually transmitted disease. Yes, I did say the least of which. The reason being was that I could honestly deal with that better than I could the fact that I’d been raped. That would be a total mind fuck for me. That is where it would get dangerous.
But putting things into perspective, I wasn’t doing all that badly, considering. I’d escaped the bloody basement, where if I were honest, I’d been pretty sure I was going to die. Things had looked mighty grim. But somehow I’d gotten out, and I’d helped bring a baby girl into the world safely.
So my life didn’t completely suck.
I stood, looking out my kitchen window, through the lace, at a bright, shiny winter day. Considered what I might want to do that day. Jack was at the office, I made him go. He was making me twitchy, which meant I was getting back to being my old self again. He said he didn’t want to see my face there for a few weeks. Didn’t think I was ready. I probably wasn’t.
We’d both gracefully bowed out of the missing pregnant women case. There were still several who hadn’t been found. Neither of us had the heart for it. We were putting our faith in Lucas and the police. Sometimes you just had to let go. This was one of those times.
He was sifting through some new cases. Nothing too emotional. Just keeping himself busy.
I looked down at Pango, who sat beside me, looking up at me.
So now what? I sighed. “Let’s go for a walk, girl.”
And then my cell rang.
It buzzed away on my on my kitchen table. I stood watching it. I’d taken the ring tone for Lucas’ cell number off my phone. I really didn’t want to answer, but the curiosity was killing me. I stepped to the table and picked my cell up.
“This is Leah.”
“Leah. It’s Declan.”
I blinked. I’d forgotten about Declan. “Declan. How are you?”
“I’m doing better. Thanks.”
“Good,” I said. My stomach tightened a little. He couldn’t be calling for anything good. “What’s up?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about getting back into the land of the living.”
“Yeah? Doesn’t seem like a bad idea. You’ve been kind of in a cave for a while, haven’t you?” Just like I’d been for the past couple of weeks.
“Right. I was wondering…”
“Yes?”
“If you’d like to go grab a beer or something. Just casual. You know? Just kind of hang out with me. If, you want to.”
I felt my mouth drop open. This I didn’t expect. “Sure, Declan. That would be great. I could use a beer.”
He gave a nervous laugh. “I could use several. But I’ll just keep it at one or two.”
“Right. I know the feeling.”
“Okay. Great. Are you busy tonight?”
I thought of what my plans were for the evening. Sitting on the sofa, sharing microwave popcorn with Pango. “No, tonight would be good.”
“Great,” he said, his voice filled with enthusiasm that surprised me and made me smile.
“Do you want me to pick you up? Or do you just want to meet somewhere?” He asked me.
This was feeling more and more like an actual date. I paused for a few seconds. Where did I want this to go? Well, I couldn’t disappoint him now. “You can pick me up. Six o’clock? We’ll get some food while we’re at it. I love wings. Somewhere with good beer and wings.”
“I know just the place.”
“Where?”
“Well, you’ll have to wait and see.”
“Really.” I grinned. “Sounds interesting.”
“It could be. Okay. I’ll see you at six. Casual, Leah. No pressure. Okay?”
I nodded, though I knew he couldn’t see me through the phone. “Okay.”
Sounded like just what I needed.
I smiled at Pango, who sat giving me the ‘who was that’ face.
“A friend, girl. I have to get myself prettied up. I think I have a date.”
Pango seemed to smile back at me.
“I’ll let you know how it goes when I get back tonight. You’ll meet him when he comes to pick me up, anyway. You can tell me what you think.” And she would. I’d be able to tell what she thought of Declan within seconds. Dogs are good judges of character, and Rottweiler’s have particularly expressive faces. Their body language says it all, too. You know if a one is digging you or not, in a hurry.
Anyway, I decided to keep the appointment to discuss my results. I’d deal with them when I had to. Until then, was just going to enjoy my date with Declan.
I was just going to live my life. I wasn’t going to think of missing women or babies, or rape kit results. I was just going to take it one moment at a time, and deal with other things as they came to me.
I knew I wasn’t quite right yet. Didn’t know if I’d ever be. I’d been in some dark places recently, both physically and emotionally, and I needed some time to heal. But real healing doesn’t come from lying around and being too careful with yourself. It happens when you get back up, put one foot in front of the other, and get yourself going again. It happens when you do things you need to be doing. It happens when you live your life.
I was just going to go on with living, because by some miracle, against the odds, I had the luxury of doing that.
I’d start with taking my dog for a long walk on a brilliantly sunny winter day.
The End
Contents
Title page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirtee
n
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty