I don’t know whose jaw drops more, mine or Sam’s. Luke defending him? I never thought I’d see that in a million years. I shoot him a look full of gratitude and pride. He told me he didn’t consider himself a leader, but Coop couldn’t have done a better job deescalating the situation. Those who regarded Sam with suspicion only moments ago now shift away in embarrassment. Luke is a real leader, through and through, and I’d follow him to the ends of the earth. No question.
“Great speech, Whitman.” Dom is like a dog with a bone. He doesn’t want to give up. The cockroach must have taken his bold pill today. “I understand your Pollyanna belief that we can win this thing if we all stand together. Hell, I even want to believe it. But how do you explain them knowing where we’d be? That was no coincidence— hundreds of leeches out here in the middle of nowhere. They were waiting for us. How do you explain that one?”
“Last night when Gordo was on watch he saw a leech in the woods. And the leech saw him.” Luke’s words are low and controlled. “I think it was looking for us like the super mind ordered. Once it found our location it put out the word. That horde was drawn to the leech’s command, not Sam.”
Gordo’s panic-stricken face jumps around the truck bed. “I’m sorry guys,” he whispers. “I think that by letting that thing go instead of chasing after it and killing it, I led them straight to us.”
Dom turns his anger on Gordo. “For fuck’s sake, idiot.”
Sam comes to the kid’s rescue. “No, Gordo, you didn’t lead them to us by not killing it. As soon as that leech saw you, the others already knew. There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this.”
Gordo’s panic turns to relief as his shoulders sag. “Thanks, Sam.”
“Yeah, somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better,” Dom drones on. “You telling me that those things are looking for us now? That they fucking recognize us?”
As much as I want that douchebag to shut the hell up, he’s only saying what’s in my head.
Silence follows his comment. No one knows how to answer. As if our predicament wasn’t already a shit-filled disaster, this new twist makes it utterly terrifying. Luke takes control once more.
“Be that as it may, our priority right now is to get everyone to the farm. Once we’ve eaten and rested, we’ll figure out a way to deal with this new… development.”
Development. That’s one word to describe it. I’d rather call it a fucking colossal shift in control. Those bastards knowing our faces? It means we’ll never be able to stop looking over our shoulders. Ever. The moment one of those things see us, the others will be alerted and come. We’ll have to continuously run. Constantly move. It means not another moment of peace. We truly are the hunted.
By the time we reach the farm, our welcoming committee is aware of the attack. The doctor rushes Jonesy off while anxious faces stare as we empty out of the truck, terrified they’re not going to find the one they’re looking for. I can’t even meet Tina’s eyes as she waits for her uncle to appear. As the last of us step down, her puzzled gaze rests on me, and I shake my head in sadness. I’m spared watching her crumble. Amy runs straight for me and Sam, hanging tight to Mrs. D’s hand, and I focus on them instead, glad for the distraction. I can’t bear to witness any more grief.
“I knew you’d be safe.” Amy’s arms tighten around my neck. “Sammy put me in the truck with Jessica and promised to bring you back. He never breaks a promise.”
“Lucky for me,” I say into her hair. Over the top of Amy’s head, I see Kip in deep discussion with Polly and Lewis. Shit. She looks our way and then strides toward us, her face a mask of concern. Although she was more than willing to take us into her home, this new episode of crazy has thrown her for a loop. I can tell she wants answers, and she wants them now. I tilt Amy’s face up to mine. “I have to go talk with the others. Me and Sam both. But I bet you’re starving, right?”
She nods, and I look up into Mrs. D’s smiling face. She pulls me tight in her arms. “Good to see you, girl.”
“I’m glad to see you, too, Mrs. D. But can you please watch Amy for a bit? This is far from over. Maybe take her to the mess hall for some food?”
Mrs. D flashes Amy a reassuring smile. “Of course. I’d be happy to. Come on, sweetie. Let’s see what we can rustle up.”
I watch them walk away hand in hand as Kip pulls up beside me and Sam, Luke joining us as well. A tight smile lines her weathered face, but her eyes are filled with worry.
“My people tell me you ran into a bit of trouble.”
Luke tilts his head. “Yeah, you can call it that.”
“Hmm.” Her gaze travels over all of us, taking in our disheveled, gore-caked appearances. “We need to discuss some things. Follow me.”
She treads toward the main house without another word. I let out my pent-up breath in a huff. “Man, she don’t look happy. What if she’s changed her mind about letting us stay?”
“Then we are as good as dead.” Luke’s blunt answer adds to the anxiety already building in my chest.
Typical Luke. “Nice of you to tell us a tiny white lie to gloss over the situation.”
He ignores my sarcasm, calling over his shoulder, “All unit four crew with me. You, too, Cook.” He holds up a hand as Gordo starts heading our way. “Not you kid. You’re on fill in duty. Go find the others from the Grand. Let them know we made it, safe and sound. And take Morley’s people with you. If anyone can help them cope right now with their loss, it’s Mrs. D.”
For once Gordo doesn’t argue about not being included, but the reason’s obvious. He’s been met enthusiastically by Evie and Scruff, both hovering and hanging off him like he’s the second coming. Luke’s giving the kid time to hang out with Evie and get over the shock of everything. Lucky bastard. The rest of us don’t get off so easy.
We’re herded up the hill to the main house, Polly and Lewis bringing up the rear.
The core room of the big house is just as I remember. A fire burns bright in the huge hearth. The braided rugs on the floor and pops of flowers everywhere adding to its warmth. But it doesn’t feel as welcoming as before. Maybe it has something to do with the way Kip and her advisors are sitting at the long, wooden table awaiting our arrival, arms crossed, and lips pulled tight like they just swallowed something bitter.
“First things first. My people tell me you all have a target on your back. Can you promise me that you won’t lead those animals straight to us?”
Luke steps toward them and pulls out a chair. He sits down and drops his hands wearily onto his knees. “I really don’t know, Kip. I think they need to see us to know where we are. I’m pretty sure we left them behind, and that won’t be an issue. But am I one hundred percent positive? No. I’m not. I’m sorry I can’t give you a better answer than that, but I’m fucking tired. I’m hungry. I’m sleep deprived. That’s the only answer I can dredge up at the moment. If it’s not good enough for you, then tell us now and we’ll leave. It’s only this group you need to worry about. The rest of our people have nothing to do with this. You promise to let them stay, and we’ll leave here without a peep of protest. I promise that much.”
I’m not sure if it’s the desperate plea in Luke’s voice or his obvious exhaustion, but Kip’s face softens, and she drops her defensive posture.
“My daddy always said only the good put the welfare of others before themselves.” She points Luke’s way. “You, I think, are a good person. So no one has to go anywhere, not quite yet. But you need to tell me what the hell is going on. Polly says a horde attacked. A horde bigger than any of us have ever seen. And that the attack was planned and organized to take you lot down. Is this true?”
Luke nods.
“How? How is such a thing possible?”
Christ, do we really have to go through this again?
“It’s a long story, but I’ll tell you what you need to know. This guy,” he says, motioning to Sam, “he’s our secret weapon. He has a connection to those things. To the one in contro
l.”
Kip holds up her hands. “Wait a second. The one in control? The creatures have a leader?”
“Right. I forgot you guys don’t know this shit yet.” Luke sighs. “Yeah, so, the docs at the research clinic believe there’s a leader, a super mind, controlling all the leeches in its hive. McKinley’s seen where this thing hangs out, mutating into some fucking queen-ass ugly beast no doubt. He can’t pinpoint it yet, but he will. Until then, it’s painted a target on our backs, so we can’t be seen by any of the beasties. Once they see us, they’re all made aware of where we are. If it makes you feel any better, we’ll be leaving again in the morning.”
All of us stare at Luke in surprise. Since when was this decided?
Kip studies Luke with pursed lips, like she’s battling to comprehend everything he’s saying.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m starting to regret letting you people through my gate. You are the proverbial bearers of bad news.”
She ain’t wrong. I can see her point.
“But we also can’t live here with our heads buried in the sand. If we need to take a stand against these things, we stand together.” She glances over at Sam. “I knew there was something strange with you lot when we picked you up. Although you seem to have fared better than the rest.”
Sam’s eyes narrow and his jaw hardens. “What do you mean? What’s happened to the rest that came in with me?”
Kip shrugs. “Gone. All of them. Up and left in the middle of the night with no explanation. About a week ago.”
“And you just let them go?”
“We’re a farming community, not a prison. If someone doesn’t wish to stay, we don’t force them. But I won’t lie to you, I was happy to see them go. Their behavior was becoming very erratic, but from what you just told us it kind of makes sense now.”
Kip’s words scare me shitless, and I want to yell at her to stop. I don’t want to hear anymore, but she keeps talking.
“They were alienating themselves more and more from the rest of us. Not eating or talking much. Not to us, anyway. It was eerie to be around them. It was as if they could communicate with each other without words. The children especially were terrified of them. We didn’t understand at first. It was almost like they were being controlled.” She glances up sharply at Luke. “Does that mean what I think it means? Were they somehow connected to the one in control like he is?”
Despite the warmth from the fire, a cold chill runs over me. Is the same thing going to happen to Sam? No. I won’t let it.
I can see the same question in Luke’s eyes as his gaze passes over Sam and me.
“I can’t give you an answer because I honestly don’t know. All I know right now is McKinley is our best chance at finding the one calling the shots.”
“And then what?” Kip questions. “How do you propose to take care of this threat? You barely made it back here alive. How are you going to stay low on their radar once you leave here?”
Luke sits up straighter, his shoulders square. “I have no fucking idea, to be honest. I’m hoping the docs at the lab will have some good news for us. Maybe help us track the big bad down, or at least have some idea why Amy can understand these fuckers while we can’t. And maybe they won’t be able to help us with a damn thing. I don’t know. What I do know is we don’t have a choice. We need to find this thing. To kill it. It’s us or them right now, and I don’t know about the rest of you, but I refuse to go down without a fight. I’m sick of this whole damn war. It needs to end.”
Chapter Twelve
I stare at my cold food in disgust as I move it around on the plate. I haven’t eaten anything but jerky and soup in days. I should be starving, but the lump congealing in my gut won’t allow me to eat another bite. Meatloaf. Mashed potatoes. Corn, for Christ’s sake. A meal fit for a king, but I can’t eat it.
Sighing to myself, I push the plate away. My fork rattles as it falls on the tabletop, and Gordo stops shoveling food in his piehole long enough to arch a brow at me. I ignore his silent question, letting my gaze wander round the mess hall. Despite the loss and pain we all suffered, there’s a bit of a celebratory feel in the air. Our people are reunited. Some didn’t make it, no, but we managed to bring back so many we thought were lost to us. But still. What a fucked-up world we live in. Happy to be getting some of your people back alive. Like that’s considered a victory.
Ever since our meeting with Kip earlier today, I feel out of it. Luke’s unexpected bomb of us leaving in the morning is partly the cause. I know he’s right, and we need to move as soon as possible, but we just got here. At least give us a couple of days to recuperate.
Seeing the survivors is the other reason. I’m not that fucking messed up. I’m happy the ones here made it. But seeing their faces only reiterates the fact that so many others aren’t. Since leaving that shitshow behind at the Grand, I’ve been focused on only one thing: finding my people and exacting revenge on Gunner. I was denied the revenge because Gunner wasn’t there. Maybe that lack of fulfillment is the cause of this damn edginess and anxiety. Something has me riled up and feeling like I want to bite someone’s head off and shit down their neck.
I hate this feeling. My heart beating out of my chest. My stomach in knots. My head hates the sounds of the room— the laughter and chatter. I want to scream. I want to yell. I want to lash out as my gaze bounces around and finds no Liv, or Coop, or Kingsley. We failed them. Hell, we couldn’t even keep fucking Morley alive after all he did for us. My perusal stops on the faces of unit four. My crew. My good as dead crew.
My heart elevates into overdrive at the nasty words in my head, and a flash of dread washes over me, covering me in a cold sweat.
“You okay, pal?” Gordo finally stops chewing long enough to check on me. Do I look as bad as I feel?
“Fine,” I mumble. Leaping up from the table, I make a beeline for the door, ignoring the startled looks of my crew. I just need to get out of here.
The frigid night air feels wonderful on my flushed face. I don’t know where I’m headed. Anywhere but here. Hurrying, I brush by people on their way into the mess hall, banging rudely into them. I don’t bother with apologies. I move faster and by the time I’m out of range of the light spilling from the mess hall, I’m jogging.
The shadowy fields empty of their fall harvest, beckon to me. Soothing me as I get swallowed up by the night. The pounding of my feet against the frozen ground competes with the blood pounding in my ears. I’m grateful it blocks out the sounds of the camp. The laughter and talking. The normalcy. There’s nothing normal about the way I feel.
Finally pulling to a stop under a large pine tree, I bend over, leaning against the rough bark for support, and try to catch my breath. Each gasp I take mists in front of my face as I tilt my head and stare up at the star filled sky, wanting to lose myself in its expanse. It doesn’t work. The sky presses in on me, cutting off my air. I suck in deep, attempting to breathe as I whirl around, but it feels like I’m fucking drowning.
“Argh!”
The scream rips from my throat. I can’t stop it. Slamming my hand again and again against the rough bark, I try to burn up my frustration. It only seems to add to it. The jagged trunk rips against my palm and my hand becomes slippery with blood. The pain hits me, and I stop with the attack, sinking to my knees. I hold my bleeding hand to my chest, the wails pouring out of me. Tears stream down my cheeks.
This is it. I’ve fucking lost my mind.
A quiet, “Bix,” emerges from the shadows behind me, but I don’t bother to turn around. I know who it is. I wipe at my face with my elbow, squeeze my hand tight to stop the blood. Swallowing my sobs, I lock them inside, even though it feels like my chest is going to burst apart from the effort.
“Go away, Sam,” I finally manage to throw over my shoulder. I don’t want him to see me going off the deep end. I don’t want any of them to see me. This crazy party is by invite only.
He ignores my command. Instead, he settles beside me on
the frost tipped grass, pulling his knees up to his chest, his hands hanging loose between his legs. His face is hidden in shadow, so I can’t see his eyes, but I feel his stare burning my skin.
“It’s okay to lose your shit every now and again. You lost some of the most important people in your life, and you’ve been holding that loss in. Denying its existence. You need to grieve, Bix. You need to talk about it and let it out.”
I bite back the urge to scream at him to fuck off and leave me alone. I don’t want to talk about it. But I breathe deep, my shoulders quivering with the effort.
“Do the others think I’ve lost my shit, too?”
His quiet laugh echoes above our heads. “The others think you lost your shit a long time ago. Still doesn’t stop them from worrying about you. The minute you ran, Moose was up on his feet and ready to give chase. I told him to back off since this was my field of expertise. He didn’t like it, but he conceded.” Sam pauses. His next words hold a tinge of sadness. “I think he really loves you.”
His words tear at my heart. I wipe the fresh tears away with my sleeve again. “Maybe he did once. Not anymore. There’s only so much rejection and so many lies love can forgive.”
“Nah. Love gives you blinders to the faults of those you care about.”
A tiny smile lifts the corner of my mouth. “Funny. Luke said almost the same thing to me about you.”
“Hmph. Maybe he’s not as big and stupid as he looks.”
I snort, the laugh catching in my throat. The laughter twists into a sob. “I miss them so much. Coop and Liv were my family. I hate that they’re gone. I hate that I feel it’s my fault. I hate this whole fucking messed up world.”
Strain of Vengeance (Bixby Series Book 3) Page 12