by Hua Bai
Ren and changed her dancing styles and patterns like a
kaleidoscope. Some were purely her own invention. The
dozens of young men and women in the dance were
extremely excited. As their sweat cooled them down, their singing rose. Sunamei sang an improvised song to a traditional tune, expressing the hot spring of happiness in her soul. Yet her happiness was tinged with a trailing sorrow.
She sang,
White clouds bend down to the river
Embracing the flowers along the bank
Before white clouds turn to rain
Flower petals wither away
Carrying tears of white clouds
They sink gradually in the stream.
Before she could finish the lingering trill, Luo Ren’s
string broke. He gazed at Sunamei as if in a trance. He
found it incomprehensible that Sunamei’s soul could pro-
duce such a tragic effect at the extreme of her happiness. She was a flower in full bloom. In spite of the beauty of her voice, what made her a talented singer were her exceptional sensitivity to art and her soul. It was rare to see such a genius born in such a remote place, among such a primitive people.
“Sunamei,” Luo Ren said. “I’m going to call on Dabu
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Cai’er of your family. Shall we go together?” “Yes.” Throwing on her cha’erwa, she kindled a torch from her friend’s hand and led Luo Ren away by the hand. All the young men and women dispersed with their torches, like lava flowing through a hilly woods viewed at a distance.
Luo Ren stumbled behind Sunamei, so she stopped now
and then to wait for him. She led him over ditches and
ridges. She was so familiar with these paths that she could find her way home with her eyes shut. Entering the gate, they found Dabu Cai’er searching for missing hens. Those lazy bones, blind at night, must have been sleeping at the foot of the wall. She picked them up by their wings, and they screamed their surprise. Dropping them into the
chicken coop, Dabu Cai’er asked out of habit, “Mo, is that Yingzhi?”
Sunamei giggled. “Someone passed away in Yingzhi’s vil-
lage. He has to help wash the horse for the funeral.”
“Who is it, then?”
“He is an axiao I found for you.” Excitement made Sunamei forget hierarchy.
“Dabu Cai’er!” Luo Ren hurried to the side of Cai’er. “It’s me, Luo Ren. I’ve come to see you.”
Cai’er slapped Sunamei’s back. “Comrade Luo Ren, please
come to our yimei and have some wine.”
“Have the children and elders gone to bed?”
“Yes. It’s late.”
“Ami, why not go to my huagu, ” suggested Sunamei. “I have some wine.”
“Good idea.” Cai’er let Sunamei go ahead to make a fire.
Then she took Luo Ren in and sat in front of the fireplace.
Sunamei poured two bowls of wine for them. Cai’er said,
“You’ve been away from Youjiwa Village a long, long time.
We miss you badly. How are your wife and children?”
“Fine, thank you.”
“Is the Cultural Revolution still going on outside?”
“No end in sight.”
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“Still terrifying?”
“Not any more. Like a sky covered with brooding clouds,
it can neither thunder nor clear up; it is just stifling.”
“How could Chairman Mao think up such a fantastic
idea? What is he thinking now? Does his wife still rule at court?”
Luo Ren suppressed his laughter. Unable to answer, he
remained silent. Cai’er, however, had no interest in getting an answer. “We Mosuo don’t like fighting. The stone cannot be kindled. Though it can be split in a fire, it seems they do not intend to burn it any more.…”
Sipping a little wine, Luo Ren changed the subject. “Su-
namei, the singing and dancing troupe of our county has
been reestablished.”
“The singing and dancing troupe? What is that?”
Sunamei was still too young to have been to Yongning
Dam and Yongning Street. How could she know anything
about a singing and dancing troupe? Ami Cai’er explained,
“It is a group of people who make their living by singing and dancing.”
Sunamei giggled, betraying disbelief and amazement.
But she had to believe it because it was from Ami’s mouth.
“Are there really people who make a living from singing
and dancing?”
“Yes, quite a few. The provinces and Beijing have even
more of them.” Luo Ren looked at her face burned red by
curiosity and the fire.
“Those people must lead a merry life.”
“With a lot of hardships.”
“Do they work in the fields?”
“No.”
“Then, where do the hardships come in?”
“They have to undergo hard training.”
“Training? Training for what?”
“The skills of legs, waist, and voice – ”
Sunamei giggled again. She could hardly imagine how
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such training could tire a person. “Because they practice every day, I guess they are all good singers or dancers.”
“Not really. Singing and dancing require talent. A wood-
en club cannot learn to dance and sing even in a thousand years.”
Sunamei laughed. Pulling a stick from the fireplace and
holding it high, she amused herself by imagining the way a club would dance. When the teapot screamed, she poured
tea for Ami and Luo Ren. “Brother Luo, do you think I have talent?”
Luo Ren took a look at Sunamei, her eyes radiating with
self-confidence and pride. He said slowly. “I can’t tell – ” He shut his eyes as he drank his tea.
With a cunning wink, Sunamei fixed her eyes on Luo
Ren’s face and challenged him. “Brother Luo, I don’t think you are telling the truth.”
Meanwhile she held his hand and scratched his palm with
her fingertip. Luo Ren was so startled that he spluttered out a mouthful of hot tea into the ashes. Dabu pinched Sunamei’s thigh. With an exaggerated cry, Sunamei fell into
Ami’s arms. “Ami, you are so mean. Look, my thigh is turning purple.” Holding up her skirt, Sunamei bared her slender, white leg up to the thigh.
Luo Ren thought admiringly, “The body and limbs of a
Mosuo woman are indeed given and nurtured by the god-
dess. It is said that children born to two mutually loving souls must be beautiful. It’s the truth, isn’t it? Their sexual congress, devoid of social and psychological burdens, is like two springs from the woods merging together.”
Sunamei feigned a cry: “Ami does not want me any more.
All right, I’m going to the city. Brother Luo Ren, please let me join the singing and dancing troupe so I can earn my living by song and dance. How cruel my ami’s heart is! Am I not the flesh of your flesh? Am I not a root of our yishe?
Brother Luo, please take me away. Please take me away!”
Ignoring her complaint, Ami smiled, stretching her hand
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to feel her bare thigh. Sunamei jumped up, held Ami by the neck and gave her cheek a playful bite.
“Mo, Sunamei!” Ami embraced her and asked affectionately, “Do you still want to go?”
“No. I’ll never leave you.”
“But Ami will die one day.”
“No. Ami will never d
ie. Ami can’t die.”
“Death, life, birth, these are not things one can allow or forbid. Sunamei – ” Ami was shedding tears over a nameless sorrow. “Dabu’s key must be left to you – ”
“Ami!” Sunamei held Ami desperately, as if she were dying.
Leaning against the wall, Luo Ren looked tired. His eyes, hidden behind half-closed lids, were fixed on mother and daughter as they gradually calmed down.
“Luo Ren.” Ami addressed him. “You came to Youjiwa
Village to take my Sunamei away, didn’t you?” Her voice, although quavering, carried a dignity that forbade him to lie or avoid answering.
He replied honestly, “Yes.”
Sunamei raised her head from Ami’s lap and looked at
Luo Ren with wide-open eyes and closed lips. He straightened up and said somberly to Ami, with his eyes on Suna-
mei, “Sunamei has a rare talent. Like a flower growing along a stream deep in a dense mountain forest, even she, like the trees, stones, and flowing stream, is unaware of her beauty and importance. It would be a great pity for her to bloom and wither there. Ami Cai’er, Sunamei will become a star.
The whole county will know her name and thousands of
people will spend money to watch her sing and dance. She will bring honor to you, to Youjiwa Village, even to Xienami and to the entire Mosuo people.”
Sunamei’s eyes lit up. Looking at Ami, she saw her eyes
grow dim and sad. She could not understand why Ami was
not as excited as she. For the first time, she had learned that people will spend money to watch others sing and dance.
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And for the first time, she had realized that her dancing and singing could be exchanged for money. She would not only hear praises from her kinsmen and neighbors but also win thousands of admiring glances from an unknown audience.
She thought, “How wonderful that would be! From the
ancient times to today, has there been a Mosuo woman luckier than me? How many talented Mosuo women have
bloomed and withered like a flower by the stream in a deep mountain woods. I will break into the outside world with my singing. I will stride into the outside world with my dancing. I was told by Longbu, a caravan man, that the outside world is endless. It has thousands, millions of interesting people – but why does Ami look worried?”
Ami watched Sunamei’s face glow with confidence,
hope and eagerness. She became even sadder. Luo Ren said,
“Ami Cai’er, today things are different from in the past. The highway is complete, and a day will be enough for you
to visit our county. If Sunamei follows me to join the singing and dancing troupe, when you miss her, you can go to her. When she wants to see you, buses are always available.
What are you worrying about?”
Shaking her head, Ami Cai’er said softly, “The outside
world is entirely different from ours. I am afraid my mo will not be able to adapt to it.”
Sunamei let out another giggle. “I am accustomed to all
sorts of living conditions. Ami, you forget that, when you wanted me to look after pigs, I looked after pigs, and, when you wanted me to herd cattle, I herded cattle. When I was ten, you sent me with a Tibetan family to drive the cattle to pasture high in the mountains: I went, didn’t I? I slept in their tent and drank their strong buttered tea. I got used to their ways of living in no time, didn’t I? I also learned to sing their songs – ”
“You were still a child then. Now you are grown.”
“What’s the difference? If someone tries to bully me, I
will simply run home. Whether by bus, or on horseback, or 2 2 7
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neither, no matter how long the road is, it cannot scare Sunamei.”
“Quite true,” agreed Luo Ren. “Sunamei learns fast and
will adapt to any surroundings in time. And I will take care of her.”
Ami, her eyes shut, seemed not to hear any more. Suna-
mei told Luo Ren, “Leave Ami to me. I can persuade her. I have made up my mind to go. You know I am good at singing and dancing. You must take me with you. Thank you
for your kindness, Brother Luo.” The world before her eyes had suddenly broadened.
Finishing his wine, Luo Ren said, “Ami Cai’er, thank you for the wine and tea. I must be leaving now.”
With some surprise, Ami Cai’er said tentatively, “I
thought you were going to stay in Sunamei’s huagu? ”
Luo Ren laughed. “Sunamei does not like me.”
Jumping up, Sunamei challenged him. “If Sunamei likes
you, what will you do?”
“I will stay.”
“Okay, please stay.” Beating the dust off his clothes, Luo Ren turned to leave. Sunamei grabbed him from behind and gave his back a big squeeze before letting him go. Looking up at the huagu from downstairs, Luo Ren saw Ami Cai’er staring at the flames in the fireplace in bewilderment; Sunamei, twisting her hips and swaying her skirt, was already starting her performance.
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I gaze at her window. In the past, it was pasted
over with black paper; now a cloth curtain with tiny blue flowers hangs there.
We political criminals were now allowed to
step out of our cells and participate in collective labor in a large courtyard encircled by high walls. Blockhouses with embrasures stood on the southeastern and northeastern
corners. The guards thrust the barrels of their machine guns through those embrasures so that even prisoners with the poorest eyesight could see them. From beyond the wall we could hear sounds of the human world: cars honking, children crying, women quarreling, police sirens screaming. We could also hear flocks of pigeons whistling across the sky.
When I first stepped into the blue sky, I nearly fainted. The waves of city din that had bored me in the past were now beautiful melodies.
Our job was breaking stones, delivered during the night, into thumbnail-sized gravel. We were told that the job was to implement Chairman Mao’s supreme directive, “Dig the
tunnels deep.” It was magnanimous of them to assign such a glorious task to us wretched criminals so as to give us a chance to do penance. The prisoners of each cell sat in a circle on the ground, each with a fist-sized hammer on a bamboo handle. The hammer was pretty springy and one care-
less knock could smash one’s fingers. So we pleaded with the warden to return our leather belts during the day so we
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could use them to hold the stone and avoid smashing our
fingers. We promised to return the belts when the day’s
work was done so they did not have to worry about suicides or stranglings. Our request was accepted. From then on,
our hammering din became part of the prison scene. Our
inmates, taking advantage of the loud noise, boldly enjoyed their fireside talks. I had not expected this sweaty job to give us so much freedom.
Our circle’s conversation was excited by a six-year-old
girl. As soon as we entered the vastness of the yard, we surveyed our new world. The northwestern corner was inhab-
ited by female prisoners. Although both male and female
prisoners were placed within range of the machine guns,
male prisoners darted their glances at the females, and the females cast theirs at the males, as though playing a courting game.
Number 96, although he wore a sleepy face all day long,
became invigorated the moment he entered the yard, revealing the true man who had compiled The Ouyang Dictionary of Self-Criticism. Locating his seat in the southeast but facing northeast, he selected the best vantage point, and thus
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br /> established his superior position. It was he who first discovered that there was a six-year-old girl among the female prisoners, smashing stones with a small hammer. We hotly debated the girl’s status – was she the convict, or was it the young mother by her side? At first we all agreed: we took it for granted that the mother had been arrested. Because
no one would take care of the child, she had brought her along to the prison. This reasoning seemed natural, for there were historical precedents. But our conclusions were soon negated by number 96. As he was able to see from his vantage point, the little girl had a prison number on her chest; her mother did not. Nor did her mother wear prison clothes.
Out of her love of cleanliness, she had merely hung a prison gown over her blue-dotted white blouse. And she was wear-2 3 0
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ing leather shoes. All these were clues that she was not a prisoner.
When number 95 – the fifteen-year-old Zhang Guotao –
heard that a six-year-old convict was incarcerated in his prison, he scoffed and laughed. But no sooner had he started arguing than he realized how dangerous it was for a prisoner to laugh in broad daylight. If caught, he would get a good beating. He suppressed his laughter and even shed a few
tears. We now had a satisfactory answer about the little girl’s status. But the question of what crime she had committed was equally puzzling. What was the answer? We
were anxious to find out. Like students sitting for a university entrance examination, although our hands were ham-
mering stones, our minds were being gnawed by mice.
Our number 98 – the riddle Kang Sheng had failed to
solve – suddenly said, “Listen, they are talking about this behind us.”
Number 98’s ears were truly sharp. We immediately
pricked up our ears like rabbits. Behind number 98’s back sat A, B, C, D, and E – the five inmates of cell number
10046 – and E was saying something expansively. It was
hard to measure the power of our senses. However, almost magically, our erect ears, like radar, caught the acoustic signals amid loud hammering, soft gossiping, and the musical din of the human world. And, as if our ears were equipped with Dolby, all unwanted noises were filtered out.