by Melody Anne
The dean of the school announced their guest speaker, and a man in a suit walked out. My eyes turned toward Miranda, and I saw the stunned look in her eyes. I laughed. It matched the expression of most of the students.
The audience was mesmerized as he spoke, including Audrey who was sitting next to me. The guy had respect and power. It was something I’d commanded my whole life. But I’d hidden away from the world. Then I’d somehow lost that power.
It was something I was determined to get back.
At one point the guy looked out at the students, and I saw his gaze pause on my wife. It was brief. It could’ve been in my imagination. Later I realized I’d known right then and there that my life would be forever changed.
When it was time for Miranda to accept her diploma, the man handed it to her, clasping her hand for a moment too long. I knew I wasn’t in love with her anymore because if I had been I would’ve marched straight to her and made it clear she was mine.
I didn’t.
I waited for the ceremony to be over then walked through the crowd to her. I pulled her into my arms and squeezed her tight. I was telling her goodbye. I wasn’t ready to let her go, but I had been doing it so slowly for a very long time. I was working on doing just that, and I knew she was doing the same.
Our clock was slowly dying and soon the hands would stop completely. I wondered what it would feel like when that happened. I wondered if I would be the same man. I was already different from the boy she’d fallen in love with. I wondered how many transformations I’d go through before the final product was cast.
I’m not sure the mold is ever finished. I think we’re all a work of art that never gets completed. Maybe there is another side. Maybe when we die we transform and that’s the final project. I guess I’ll either know someday or it won’t matter. If I just cease to exist, I guess the project is finished — flawed and imperfect.
I handed Miranda over to her father then I turned away. I was becoming less important in her life. She was becoming less important in mine. We’d shared our youth together, but we wouldn’t grow old together.
We’d go our separate ways. It was only a matter of time. The ending to our story was already written. We just didn’t know how we were going to get to those final pages — not yet at least.
Chapter Fifteen
I continued going to the apartment downtown, working on my projects. I didn’t tell Miranda about this new turn in my career. I didn’t leave her. We remained living in the same house, though neither of us were there too often.
I traveled for business at least two weeks out of the month, and she got a new job. The house became an empty shell — just like our marriage.
When I was in Portland I always stayed home — until one night. The first night I slept with another woman. I can’t forget that night because I can’t exactly explain my reasons for doing it. I didn’t necessarily want to.
I was angry. I felt pulled in two directions. I felt an utter loyalty to the woman I’d said my vows to, but I also felt I wanted to break those vows.
I was angry with Miranda. I was angry with myself. I was angry with the world. I wanted to punish her and myself. I felt so many mixed emotions. And then I went to the bar with my best friend, Tony.
He tried talking me out of what I was about to do. He’d always been a good friend. He loved Miranda. But he knew it all. He was the one who, on my wedding day, told me I couldn’t break her heart on that day, but I shouldn’t have put us in that position in the first place. He knew it wasn’t everlasting love.
I’d been angry at him then. I appreciated him now.
Miranda was at the coast with her father, a man I’d always envied. He lived his life the way people should, with no debt, no need for worldly things. He enjoyed nature and didn’t allow stress in his life.
When I’d first met him I’d thought he was slightly insane. But the more I got to know him the more I appreciated his choices. Now I can’t face him. He’d made me promise not to hurt his daughter. I’d broken that vow.
Tony and I sat on the rooftop lounge at Departure at the Nines hotel. We had a perfect view of downtown Portland with Mount Hood as the backdrop. It was a warm summer evening and we enjoyed our drinks and pumpkin seeds while we chatted.
My phone was on silent. Miranda and I didn’t talk a hell of a lot when she was home, let alone have long conversations while away from each other. There was no reason to have my phone.
I was in a bad place. I knew it. Tony knew it.
“You can’t go back,” Tony said when he noticed my gaze on the redhead at the bar. She took a cherry out of her drink and sucked the juice from it before running her tongue over it. She took her time placing it in her mouth, all while looking me straight in the eyes.
“I think I know that more than anyone,” I told my friend.
“Let’s get out of here,” Tony suggested. “We’re getting too old to be hanging out at rooftop bars.” Tony added a laugh to his statement, but there wasn’t a lot of humor in his voice.
“I like it here,” I told him. I didn’t plan on going anywhere.
Tony sighed, but when the waitress came back he accepted a second round. I lost interest in the redhead and after an hour the bar became more crowded as the weekend crowd searched for like-minded people, hoping to meet someone or just blow off some steam before their workweek began.
I wasn’t sure which category I was in. I wasn’t sure which direction my life was about to take.
It didn’t take long for a cute blonde to catch Tony’s eyes, and then all his good intentions flew out the window, and he left me sitting there alone so he could find somewhere a hell of a lot more private with the eager girl.
The ginger I’d forgotten about sat down in the chair Tony had been occupying. She smiled at me as she batted her long eyelashes.
“I’m Gina,” she said in a husky purr. “This is my last night in town. I’ve been here for a conference.”
She’d given me more information than I wanted to know. I gave her an assessing look. She was in her mid-twenties, stunningly beautiful, incredibly shallow, and a perfect one-night stand, if a guy was looking for that.
“Mason,” I said. I didn’t hold out my hand. Her smile grew as if my cold demeanor was a challenge. Maybe it was.
“Are you going to buy me a drink, Mason?” she asked as she sipped the rest of her drink.
“Have you had to buy a single one tonight?” I asked. She didn’t take offense. Her smile grew bigger.
“I’ve never had to buy my own drinks,” she said. She leaned forward with her arms squeezing her ample cleavage together. I was a man. I appreciated the view.
I held up my hand, and it didn’t take long for the waitress to appear. I ordered us each another drink. We didn’t talk much as we listened to the music and conversations going on around us. Gina scooted her chair a little closer and soon her hand found my thigh.
I looked into her bright green eyes wondering if they were real.
“Are you staying here?” I asked. I was on the cusp . . .
“Yes,” she said as her fingers trailed circles on my leg. I wasn’t unaffected. “Do you want to see my room?”
I paused. I looked past her to see if I could spot Tony. He was nowhere to be found. I looked back at Gina. I would guess she wasn’t often turned down. I held up my hand again.
“Can I get the check?” I asked. Gina smiled as her fingers brushed over the bulge beginning in my pants. I took in a breath.
I paid the check and followed Gina from the bar. I turned off the thoughts telling me I was a fool, telling me I couldn’t turn back from this. I hadn’t been a saint, but this was a step further than I’d ever planned on going. I blinked once as we reached Gina’s door and she smoothly opened it. When I opened my eyes I felt only one thing — no remorse, no anger, no regrets — just hunger.
; The door hadn’t quite clicked shut when I reached for her, pulling her into my arms. My lips smashed against hers as I pressed her against the wall. She moaned as her long fingernails ran up the back of my neck and sank in my hair.
Her lips tasted like lemon, and I got lost in her touch. I didn’t let myself think, didn’t try to stop what was happening. She tasted good and felt even better.
She began tugging at my clothes, and I pulled down the zipper on the back of her dress. She wore nothing — nothing at all — beneath it. The dress fell to the floor and she took a step back, standing before me in nothing but three-inch, black heels and thigh-high stockings. She began to reach for the shoes.
“Leave them,” I told her, my voice barely recognizable.
“Whatever you want,” she purred as she stood straight and turned. I watched her ass sway as she made her way to the bed then reached into a drawer and grabbed a condom, tossing it on the comforter. She climbed up on her knees and turned so she could see me.
I slowed down as I stripped off the rest of my clothes. If I was going to stop this, it had to happen right now. But I didn’t retreat. I made it to the bed and grabbed the foil packet, quickly sheathing myself. My cock throbbed as I gazed at her perfect ass. I ran my hand over it and then between her legs.
She was wet and hot. I slapped the skin of her cheek and she moaned. I did it on the other side, my arousal pulsing at the sound and sight. I climbed up behind her and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see. I only wanted to feel.
I grabbed her hips and thrust into her; she moaned with me as her tight heat pulsed around my cock. I began pumping, my fingers squeezing her. She tightened around me as she let out a cry and began shaking.
She was so damn responsive. I continued pounding into her, sweat dripping down my chest. She moaned as she came again, her hand moving between her legs and rubbing against herself, which turned me on even more.
I moved faster. With a cry I found my release. My body shook as I held tightly to her firm ass. It was several moments before I gained my breath. I pulled out of her, and she fell to the bed.
She turned over, propped herself up on pillows, and began fondling her breast with one hand and her swollen folds with the other. She smiled at me as she licked her lips and looked at my still thick cock.
“That was a fun beginning,” she said, her words husky. “I like a well-endowed man.”
I felt myself stir, something that hadn’t happened this quickly after a release in a very long time. I didn’t say a word as I walked to the bathroom and removed the condom. She was panting as she played with herself when I walked back out. The drawer was still open where I saw several more packets waiting.
I hated myself a hell of a lot as I grabbed one and climbed on top of her. I didn’t go home that night. That night I changed. That night I became a new man — I became an unrecognizable man. That night I died and was reborn.
I walked away from Gina without ever thinking of her again. But my act made it possible to open the door. It made it possible for Bella to step through . . .
Chapter Sixteen
After the night I let my marriage go, Miranda and I were strangers. I walked away from everything — from Bella, my friends, my family, my life. I focused solely on my art. I took a deep plunge down the rabbit hole and couldn’t seem to find a light at the end of that tunnel.
I existed.
There is nothing more to say about that year of my life. There wasn’t anger; there wasn’t joy. There was nothing but existence. I wondered if it was the same for Miranda. I wondered what happened to Bella.
Miranda came to me and told me everything. I felt nothing. There was no pain, no sorrow, no relief, no joy, no sense of freedom. I was a black hole.
I didn’t love Miranda. And I didn’t love myself. I didn’t know what I wanted. Maybe I wanted to start feeling something again — anything at all.
But I couldn’t.
Miranda told me everything . . . I told her everything . . . and we set each other free.
Maybe now I’ll find myself. Or maybe I’ll be lost forever. Only time will tell.
Miranda
Leaving my husband has to have been one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. And for the briefest moment when I walked out of that house I thought maybe I’d begin to heal, maybe everything was going to be okay.
I was so very wrong.
I can truly say I loved Mason. I loved him with all my heart — at one point in my life. I can also say I fell in love with Kaden. He gave me something I never thought I would find.
I grew lost in my marriage with Mason. He stopped wanting me, but he wasn’t willing to let me go. Then I met Kaden who desired me, made me feel things I didn’t know were possible. I fell in love with that feeling.
But I also resented him. I carried the guilt of cheating on my husband. It didn’t matter that I found out Mason had cheated on me, too. This wasn’t about Mason. It wasn’t about Kaden.
It was about me. It was about who I wanted to be.
At the end of the day I discovered what I wanted to be was . . . free.
This might be where you think my love story ends. But you’d be wrong. This is where it is just beginning. I’m in love with myself for the first time in my life. Because of that I know I deserve more. I deserve to treat myself better, and to not allow someone else to dictate who I am or what my actions will be.
Let the new adventure begin . . . Let me learn how to truly live, not just exist. Let me find my own love story, one that’s written in the stars and not in the sand. Let me fall in love with life again.
Coming Soon; The next full length book in the Torn Series. See where Miranda’s journey will take her next in a life that hasn’t been perfect but has led her to who she is today.
Miranda Kendrick married her high school sweetheart and somewhere along the way they fell out of love, but neither of them let the other go. And then she met Kaden who swept her off her feet, leading her into a long lasting affair, and changing how she felt about herself and her life.
In the end Miranda lost everything — her husband and her lover. But that’s when she was set free to live the life she never imagined existed. That is until something more tragic than she ever imagined happened to her.
Will Miranda let the pain pull her under, or will it set her free? Find out in the next full length book in the Torn Series.
Preview of first book in Melody Anne’s NYT’s best selling series; Surrender;
Prologue
Divorce.
His throat closed up at the mere thought of that word. He was twenty-eight years old and had conquered the universe — or thought he had.
No! He had.
Then his picture-perfect world had shattered with a single word.
Divorce.
He’d been respectable and respectful, always treating women with admiration. He hadn’t jumped into marriage at twenty-one, but had dated the same woman for three years, had cherished her, had given her everything. He thought he’d found perfection, but found disillusion instead.
Raffaello Palazzo sat straight up; his eyes narrowed.
No! He wasn’t this man.
Even if groveling had been in his nature, which it most assuredly wasn’t, he wouldn’t consider doing it now.
“Goodbye.”
He barely glanced up as Sharron walked past, her five-thousand-dollar purse slung over her shoulder, and flaunted the smirk on her face as she slammed the door in all finality. She was gone, and he was grateful.
A couple of her complaints against him were that he worked too much and he wasn’t as attentive as she thought she deserved.
When he’d walked in the week before with a bouquet of roses, attempting to give her the attention she’d demanded, he’d seen that she wasn’t choosy about the source of the attention. She’d been in bed with his bu
siness partner. Then, to add insult to injury, she’d attempted to take him for all he was worth.
She’d lost.
Rafe’s eyes closed as he pictured that horrible afternoon.
“Are you cutting out on us?”
“It’s my anniversary. I had my wife’s favorite flower, the Hawaiian Flora, delivered express to the floral shop, and I’m picking up her bouquet, then taking her on a surprise trip to Paris. That’s where we celebrated our honeymoon.”
“You’re the most whipped man I know, Rafe,” his assistant, Mario Kinsor, said with a smile.
“I’m half Italian. My father learned the ways of my mother’s country and how gallant the men are and he taught me how to cherish a woman,” Rafe replied genially, not offended in the least. He hoped to have as strong a marriage as his parents had, and for just as long.
“When does Ryan get back? If you’re cutting out, I’ll need one of the business partners here to get work done.”
“He’s flying in on Friday. I spoke to him a few days ago, and he said he met someone. I’m looking forward to meeting her.”
“I can’t take any more of this mushy talk. Get out of here before your lovesickness becomes contagious. I’ll see you Monday.”
“Night, Mario. Thanks for all your hard work this week.”
Heading for the door, Rafe waved to his faithful assistant. Life was great — his corporation was flourishing without help from his family, and his personal life couldn’t be better.
It didn’t take Rafe long to breeze into the florist’s and then arrive home. When he couldn’t find Sharron downstairs, he smiled in anticipation. Maybe she was stretched out on their bed in a sexy nightie…
When Rafe opened the door, he did find her in bed, and scantily dressed — hell, not dressed at all — but she wasn’t alone. He froze as shock filled him.
“Ohhh, Ryan!” Sharron cried out, and Rafe’s illusions of happily ever after shattered.