by Tessa Radley
“No wonder Bertha adores you.”
“She doesn’t know the half of it—” he gave her a warning glance “—and I trust she never will.”
“I won’t say a word.”
It wasn’t surprising that he didn’t trust love. It was clear that he’d never loved poor, needy Jilly. In her desperation, Jilly had driven him away before any relationship between them had gotten off the ground.
“Given the state of your relationship, why the decision to start a family?”
“Jilly had always wanted a baby.” Nick looked away. “She’d made that clear from the moment I placed a wedding band on her finger. I wasn’t spending a lot of time home…I think she was lonely.”
At the mention of their wedding Candace felt an unexpected stab of jealousy. Yet their union hadn’t yielded a child. Maybe that was never meant to be. But the flip side of that coin was equally hard to accept: she and Nick couldn’t possibly be meant to be, either.
Or could they?
“But something changed.” Nick interrupted her thoughts. “When Jilly stopped talking about our baby, I became convinced she had a lover, someone she preferred to father her baby.”
“Maybe she stopped thinking of the baby as hers,” said Candace slowly. “After all, the eggs and womb were mine. It had nothing to do with your role at all.”
“That would make sense.” Nick shook his head. “God, what a mess. I drew the wrong conclusion. But I didn’t care enough to confront her. I was relieved—all I could think about was paying Desmond back. In the back of my mind I knew I would eventually divorce Jilly. It suited me that her child wasn’t mine. It was an easy way out for me.”
She touched his hand where it lay on the table. “I’m sorry, Nick.”
He held her gaze. “It’s not a very nice story.”
“No. But you must’ve felt terribly trapped.”
“Like my back was against the wall,” he admitted.
“Yet you never took it out on Jennie.”
“I wouldn’t be truthful if I didn’t confess that I did resent her a little—I believed she was another man’s baby. But it didn’t take me long to figure out she’s the innocent in all this—and it’s not hard to love her. She’s very special.”
Her fingers were still resting on his hand. It was a masculine hand with scrapes and calluses. A strong, capable hand. His fingers closed around hers. Her gaze flicked to his, only to be snared in the blazing heat.
After that, Candace couldn’t have said what she ate when the main course arrived. The intensity of Nick’s gaze, the way her stomach bottomed out every time their eyes met—all left her with an edgy feeling of expectation that grew as the evening wore on. She couldn’t help thinking that Nick had depths she’d never expected. He’d suffered so much, worked so hard…and proven himself to be a man of honor.
A man worthy of being a father to Jennie.
Once back home, Nick followed Candace up the marble stairway.
She paused on the landing where it widened into a sitting area. “Thank you for dinner—it was lovely to get out.”
There was a moment of awkward silence, then Nick muttered, “The hell with it.” He stepped closer, gave her a brief chance to escape.
Candace murmured huskily, “I’ll go to my room now.”
Yet she didn’t move.
The silence between them stretched out. Two beats. Then three. At last, when Nick was quite sure she’d had all the time in the world to make her decision, he reached for her. Candace never hesitated. She flew into his arms.
It wasn’t a gentle kiss—Nick was far too aroused for that. The tension that had been rising in him for days had reached a breaking point. By the time it ended, he was breathing heavily.
Their eyes met. Something shifted, subtle, impossible to recognize.
Nick’s hands came up to tangle in her silky hair, holding her so that when he lowered his head a second time his mouth slanted across hers, creating the perfect kiss.
Candace didn’t object. She kissed him back with enough eager intensity for him to know that the blazing attraction was mutual.
Hunger twisted inside him, hot and wild.
When the kiss ended this time, Nick had to battle for control as tremors of anticipation quaked through him.
Slowly…
He’d thought he could leash the power, but Candace quickly proved him wrong. It didn’t take much. Her hands crept up, along his shirtfront…up…until they rested on his shoulders. Rising on her toes, her tongue tip tantalized his bottom lip, shredding what little restraint he still possessed.
His hands shaking, Nick unfastened the frustratingly small buttons of the chemise-style front of her dress. The edges parted, and his fingers found the soft skin of her breasts. She wore no bra. Heat exploded in him.
Nick groaned.
“I don’t know how much of this I can take,” he muttered hoarsely, his hands closing over the curves.
She leaned closer, her body pressing up against his. Nick released the soft flesh, and his arms slid around her. He let his hands wander down her back, over the cotton jersey that fell in soft folds over her hips. He clasped her hips, pulled her close to him, so she could feel his body’s hard response.
Candace moved in little restless circles against him. Nick’s erection leaped, straining to be free.
This was more woman than he’d ever held…even in his dreams. Nick groaned again.
She nibbled his bottom lip. Nick yanked her closer so that she was plastered up against him, her softness yielding to him. The shoestring straps of her dress slid down her shoulders. He bent his head and pressed openmouthed kisses along the crest of her shoulders tasting her…inhaling the hauntingly familiar sweet, spicy scent of her until Candace shuddered in his arms.
Nick’s heart pumped furiously, the blood pounding in his head.
He became aware of the chandelier blazing above them, of the backdrop of arched windows illuminating them to the deserted garden outside.
Scooping her off her feet, he headed past the closed doors of Jilly’s rooms to his suite beyond. He kicked the door shut, and four long strides took him to the king-size bed with its pile of casually arranged pillows. Muted light pooled from the two bedside lamps, warming the dull gold cover. He let her slide down his torso onto the bed with excruciating slowness, tormenting him, prolonging the pleasure. By now he was shaking inside, the desire he’d been suppressing spilling over.
“God, but you’re beautiful.”
With the straps already half-down her arms, and the bodice open, Nick pushed the dress over her hips. Underneath she wore tiny lace panties. Those went next. Grabbing the collar of his shirt, he yanked it—still buttoned—hurriedly over his head. Undoing his belt, then his pants, he shucked them off. They landed in a heap on the carpet.
Then he followed her down onto the bed among the mountain of dull gold and black cushions.
Her skin was pale and creamy. Luscious. He touched her with a trembling hand. So soft. So warm. Impatience clawed at him. He stroked her, his fingertips exploring the rise of her breasts, the valley between, the flat plain of her stomach. Driven by increasing desperation, he sought out the sweetest, most responsive spots.
By the time his hand found the moist skin between her inner thighs, she was damp and superbly responsive. He slid two fingers into the moist channel. Her hips came off the bed, and Nick almost came apart.
He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t wait…
There was a moment when he thought about the new pack of condoms in his bedside drawer, then he abandoned it. What did it matter if he impregnated her? He was going to marry her. Nick wasn’t conscious of making the decision—he simply knew that it was the right one.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, drawing his fingers out. She shuddered, her hips undulating. “I can’t wait.”
Nick shifted over her, covering her.
“Are you okay? I’m not too heavy?” He caught a glimpse of her incandescent silver eyes as she
shook her head forcefully, her hair whipping around her face.
Then her legs tangled with his for a moment before they parted, granting him the access he’d only fantasized about before. He pressed into the space, his heart thundering.
She’d borne his child.
“Take me,” she murmured.
All thought dissolved as her hands slid into the tight space between them and closed around the length of him.
Nick gritted his teeth. “I can’t hold back.”
Surging forward, the blunt length of him pushed into her readied softness. Nick fought against the strength of the sensations that shook him as her heat swallowed him; he fought to hold on, to give her time to catch up.
“I’ve never been this hot,” he whispered, and licked the soft skin behind her ear.
She arched up beneath him and gasped.
Nick clutched her buttocks and drove deeper. Pleasure ripped through him.
One. Two. Three thrusts.
Candace gasped again and flung her head back.
It was enough to send Nick spinning into oblivion. He shot deep inside her womb, where his child had lain, and then the passion and heat consumed them both.
Nothing had ever felt more right to Nick.
Candace opened her eyes—and the sight of the dark gold bedcover caused her to freeze. She didn’t need the shafts of sunbeams or the sinking sensation in her stomach to tell her she’d fallen asleep in Nick Valentine’s bed.
She jerked fully awake.
Jennie…did Jennie need her?
Then she remembered. Jennie was spending the night with Nick’s sister. She rolled over, and gazed straight into Nick’s lazy eyes.
“Hello,” he said softly.
His hand came up and brushed a strand of hair off her cheek. She managed not to flinch as heat arced through her. Shifting, her legs brushed against his naked ones beneath the sheets.
A fiery tide of embarrassment swept over her. Candace swallowed and anchored the silk sheet under her arms so that it wouldn’t shift. “This is so awkward.”
“Why?” His lips curved up. “Don’t feel that away. After all, we have a daughter—this should’ve happened a long time ago. We’ve done things the wrong way around.”
Oh, help!
A tender, teasing Nick Valentine was more than she could handle. How could she ever have thought those beautiful indigo eyes remote and inscrutable? The warmth and fire and emotion that filled them now tore at her heart.
She remembered how his passion had grown to a strange, very moving desperation last night.
He’d made her feel so special.
But now in the light of the morning after, it felt…wrong.
His fingers trailed down her cheek and came to a rest in the hollow of her throat. He caressed the sensitized, bare skin, and Candace was conscious of his square-tipped fingers touching her…slipping closer to the edge of the sheet trapped above her breasts.
And under the sheets his body was naked.
So was hers…
What had she done? All she could think of was that it was going to be impossible to keep working in Nick’s home. How could she have jeopardized everything? Her relationship with her daughter, her position in Nick’s house? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
And for what?
One night of desperate passion? That was forever going to lurk between them; they would never be able to put it to rest. She was going to have to leave. Leave Jennie.
Her heart clenched in pain.
And leave Nick.
The cold ache that numbed her chest was as unexpected as it was unwelcome.
No.
It couldn’t possibly hurt to think of leaving Nick…
No. No. No. He meant nothing to her.
Yet the denial did nothing to ease the ache as she remembered how he’d listened to Bertha yesterday, how he’d laughed when his sister had tormented him about having to kiss Princess Piggy, how he’d ripped her heart out when he’d told her about his hollow marriage at dinner last night.
She couldn’t possibly have—
No, she didn’t want to think about it. Falling in love with Nick would be the stupidest thing she’d ever done.
“Come here.” He pulled her into his arms.
For a split second, Candace resisted, then she let herself be drawn up against him. Shivers of delight raced through her as his bare skin brushed hers. He kissed her. Her mouth blossomed beneath his, opening, taking him into her, drawing him deep.
With a shock she realized how easy it would be to succumb.
Candace tore out of his arms, putting the length of the bed between them.
“Nick—no.” Her breathing was ragged. She paused for a moment. “I don’t want to make love again.”
“You don’t mean that—”
“I do,” she said with a firmness she was far from feeling. “It’s not going to happen again. This was the one and only time.”
The soft light went out of his eyes. “Don’t dismiss something you might regret losing later.”
“Believe me, I won’t regret this. We can’t be lovers. It won’t work.” She said it with a finality that she hoped was convincing. And prayed he wouldn’t recognize the undertone of desperation in her voice.
Twelve
The throaty roar of the Ferrari coming up the driveway caused the tension that had been lurking in the pit of Candace’s stomach since Nick had made love to her two days ago to tighten another notch.
Run. Hide.
The anxiety that had been gnawing at her resurfaced. You’re not in love with him. Candace sharply pulled herself together. There was no need to run, and she wasn’t retreating to hide in the nursery. She was going to stay seated right where she was—on the carpet of the upstairs sitting room, playing with Jennie.
“You’re losing it,” she admonished herself. “Nick’s home. So what?”
The memory of the time he’d kissed her here in this very place after she’d held the ice pack to his head flashed through her mind. Oh, God. Nowhere was safe from him, from the emotions he aroused in her.
Then Jennie gurgled, and, as always, Candace’s heart warmed.
The baby’s smile put everything in perspective.
She’d done nothing wrong. So she’d slept with Nick Valentine—a foolish mistake. Hardly the love of a lifetime. She had to keep telling herself that. Despite the starbursts of intense pleasure the experience had released, despite the sense of inevitability about what had happened, it was an error of judgment she bitterly regretted.
But there was no reason for it to cause her this much distress.
Except if there were consequences…
Candace told herself there wouldn’t be. It was the wrong time of month. But she’d been reckless. Stupid. It was time to come to terms with what had happened, take the necessary steps to deal with any unfortunate circumstances and move on. She couldn’t allow every thought of Nick to keep causing her heart palpitations.
The only problem was that Nick was making it incredibly difficult to put that night behind her.
Every look, every comment, seemed to be calculated to throw her into a state of confusion, where desire warred with good sense.
Even now, the sound of his footsteps coming up the marble stairway made her pulse go wild.
Nick was coming!
For one panicky moment Candace wished she’d retreated to the nursery when she’d had the opportunity. Then she steadied herself.
Get over it.
But the sight of his grim face knocked her off the frivolous emotional seesaw of her own dilemma.
“What’s wrong?”
Something terrible had clearly happened.
Nick crossed the carpet, tossed a large envelope on the coffee table, and reached for Jennie.
“Nick…” The cold, set expression on his face as he lifted the baby into his arms unnerved her. “What’s happened?”
He turned his head and gazed at her over the baby’s head. There was a blank
opacity in his eyes that made her heart stop. “Talk to me,” she said. “You’re scaring me.”
“Desmond—” He broke off, burying his face in Jennie’s neck.
“What about him?” What could his father-in-law have done to evoke this kind of reaction?
“He wants Jennie.”
“What do you mean?” Chills goosed over her skin. “What’s going on?”
“He’s launched legal action.” Nick raised his head and nodded toward the envelope he’d cast onto the table. “He wants custody of Jennie.”
Candace covered her face with her hands. “Oh, my God.” Spreading her fingers, she raised her head and stared helplessly at Nick. “Will he get it?”
“Not while I breathe.” Determination turned his voice to steel. “He has money and power, but so do I. And this time I’m going to fight him.”
“Why is he doing this?”
Nick hesitated, then said reluctantly, “He claims that I am a womanizer, that Jennie is neglected. It appears it was sparked by seeing you with me at the carnival—perhaps he thought I’d defiled his daughter’s memory. That I’d already replaced her…with you.”
That only made her feel so much worse. Because Desmond hadn’t been wrong. By the end of the day she had been in Nick’s bed. Jilly’s bed. Oh, darn… How sordid.
So much for putting it all behind her. It was proving to be impossible.
“Surely he won’t have a case? He’d have to prove you grossly neglected Jennie.” Anyone could see that wasn’t true. Jennie was exploring the buttons of his chest, so at home in his arms that it brought a lump to Candace’s throat.
Nick’s mouth slanted up. “Even you thought that was true at one time.”
“But not anymore.” And that was true.
“He’ll call Jilly’s friends as witnesses to say I never cared for her, that I ignored her while we were married. Emotional abuse, they’ll call it.”
“But it was understandable,” Candace defended him. “And it doesn’t relate to Jennie.”