“I remember Mason vaguely. He was a year or two behind your brother, right?” Mrs. Baumgartner asked her daughter.
“Handsome, rich, charming. Is that ringing any bells?” Lindy prompted her.
“Again, it’s not serious,” I reminded everyone. And it was already possibly over, after how I had acted the night before. I hadn’t dared to look at my phone yet.
Mrs. Baumgartner handed me a PB&J, which was as fancy as it was getting for dinner. “I’m still happy to hear it, Katie. I’m glad you’re dating again. You had your life on hold for a long time.”
She sounded just like my grandma. “I didn’t have my life on hold, I was living it. It just wasn’t going in the direction that everyone thought it would take.”
Lindy’s mom put her hand on my shoulder. “I don’t mean to sound callous. I know you enjoyed the time you had with Julian, too. But you were very young to shoulder the burden of care for him. His parents…” Her lips pressed together, as if she was holding in her words. “I would have liked you to be able to go away to school, like Lindy. To keep dancing, to keep up with your art.”
“Well, things aren’t always fair,” I said, keeping my voice light. “What happened to Julian certainly wasn’t. And I’ll always be glad that I was there for him, through everything. I don’t have any regrets about that.”
Mrs. Baumgartner hugged me. “You know how much we love you, Katie.”
“And you know how pushy we are,” Lindy added, now using a spoon to eat the peanut butter. Her mom took the jar away.
Lindy and Logan stayed the night at the cottage, and I was invited as well, but I really didn’t want to take the top bunk above those two. Not after everything Lindy had said about waking him up with her tongue. No thank you! Even though I loved everyone there, I had still felt a little bit of the odd woman out. In terms of numbers, I was definitely the fifth wheel, and it was time to head home. My little house seemed quiet and empty now, though.
I thought about the day. Mason had texted, not to let me know how awful he found me, but to check to see how I was feeling. He made no mention of going out again, however. I had spent a lot of the time during my recuperation in the deck chair watching Lindy and Logan. They were so good together. I had always thought so, and I believed it even more every time I hung out with them. They were goofy, but they were also considerate of each other. They were a team, in everything they did.
I wanted that, I thought. I wanted to have someone to hand me a towel when I got out of the water. I wanted to sit on someone’s lap and play with his hair. Logan had put his hand over Lindy’s flat stomach, and they had shared a smile, like they had a wonderful secret together. I wanted all of that.
I swallowed hard, lying alone in my bed. Mason was a nice boy. Damn my grammy for getting that stuck in my head! Mason was a nice man. Young man. Maybe he hadn’t put two and two together and realized that my abrupt reaction—falling over backwards—was to avoid his lips. I was sure he was a wonderful kisser. I forced myself to think of more. Mason’s hands on my breasts. I cupped them, in the darkness, and ran my thumbs over my nipples. I steadfastly focused my mind on his face. Mason, naked…
Nope. That was as far as I got. I turned on my side, frustrated in more ways than one. What was the matter with me?
∞
I was over at Davis’ house at my usual time on Monday, but he wasn’t in the kitchen yet. I started to make breakfast so he could eat something before his grueling therapy session. Even for someone as fit and tough as he was, the rehab was knocking him sideways. This recovery process was no joke. So I liked to fuel him up as well as I could to help him through it.
“Hello. You must be Katie.”
I spun around, dropping my spatula. I had been lost in thought about Davis at his appointments and the strain and exhaustion on his face when he came out each day. “You scared me!” I said, picking up the utensil. “Sorry. Yes, I’m Katie. Gavin?”
I remembered him from his time on the Woodsmen. He was obviously strong, but not in a Davis-sized way, and cute, but not in a Davis-sized way, either. And unfortunately, his football talent didn’t match Davis’, not even close. As I recalled, he hadn’t ever gotten very much playing time at all before he had been moved to the practice squad and then cut at the end of the last season.
He smiled at me. “You’re the one Davis calls the chipmunk.”
I smiled back. “It’s better than what he used to call me. I used to be known as the rat.”
Gavin laughed. “He does know how to sweet-talk the ladies. Actually, he’s never had to. They’re too busy falling at his feet.”
I turned back to the stove. “Yeah, I’ve seen some of that. Lucky guy. Are you interested in breakfast?”
“No, thank you. Davis hasn’t told me much about you, besides your charming nickname. But I remember you as Nutty. Are you still doing that?” Gavin asked me, taking a seat at the table and watching me.
We discussed my hijinks as the team Chipmunk, as well as how the Woodsmen were doing without Davis there. The man himself came in a few minutes later, looking a bit worse for wear.
“Good morning,” I said. “Late night?”
“Gavin yakked my ear off,” Davis said. He walked behind me and very briefly put his hand on my back. “Good morning.”
I kept myself from staring at him. “We have to hurry to get over to your appointment.”
“Katie has a thing about being late,” he explained to Gavin.
“Davis has a thing about making people wait for him,” I added.
“That’s not news to me. I’ve known him for a long time. We were roommates in college, too.” Gavin and I kept up the conversation as Davis took in his customary 800,000 calories or whatever it was. He’d work it right back off.
I came back to the house after dropping him off for rehab and found Gavin cleaning up the kitchen. “You don’t have to do that,” I told him.
“I’m used to it. Davis has always been a very messy person to live with.”
“Right?” I said, jumping into action and spraying the countertop. “He said you used to handle most of the household stuff. By that I assumed he meant that you kept it from looking like the monkey house at the zoo.”
“That was always my goal.” He laughed. “It’s much easier, living with my boyfriend. He’s neater than I am.” He quickly glanced up.
“It always helps a relationship to be the same level of clutter and dirt. That’s what I’ve noticed with my friends, anyway. My best friend’s new husband practically boils his shoes before he comes inside, and her messes makes him nuts.”
“They should hire someone to clean for them,” Gavin told me. “One less thing to argue about.” He hesitated. “Uh, Davis doesn’t know that. About the boyfriend thing.”
“Ok,” I said slowly. “Do you mean, he doesn’t know that you’re gay?”
“It wasn’t something I was spreading around the team.”
I shrugged again. “It’s not my business, either, but just out of curiosity, how did Davis not see it, with you guys as friends for so long?”
Gavin smiled at me. “Davis has never been known for his, let’s call it his emotional intelligence.”
“I think he does just fine,” I bristled. “Maybe it doesn’t matter to him, if you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend or either or both.”
“It mattered to the some of the other players in the locker room,” he answered, his face shuttered. “It always has.”
“I don’t think Davis would care. At least, I sure hope he wouldn’t. I don’t.”
“I never wanted to risk it.”
I thought of what I had been holding back about me and Julian. “I understand that. Sometimes it’s easier to let people believe what they want. Maybe now that you’re retired, you can let Davis in on that part of your life. If you want to.”
Gavin just nodded. “Listen, I’m going to go down to the beach. Want to come?”
“Oh, no thank you. I have things to do here. Di
d Davis mention that he’s having people over tomorrow?”
“He did.” Gavin looked at me a little oddly. “Was it your idea?”
“No, he suggested it. I think it will be really good for him to socialize a little, get his mind off everything. That’s why I was so happy when he said you were coming to visit, too. I’m really glad you’re here, Gavin.”
“I feel the same way about you,” he told me, and he sounded surprised.
I was running around for the whole morning before I had to pick up Davis. Gavin came in hours later, carefully rinsing the sand off his feet and drying them before stepping onto the clean kitchen floor. I really liked this guy.
“What are you and Davis doing this afternoon?” I asked him.
“I would assume helping you. Davis mentioned wanting to throw the football some.” He studied me. “Why the concerned face?”
“Well, I would just ask you to be careful. He really tires himself out at rehab every day, and then I know he’ll try to push hard if the two of you have a ball out. I worry that he’ll overdo things. I’m always trying to watch him when he’s exercising here.”
“I’ll be careful of him.” Gavin laughed. “Words which have never been said before about Davis Blake.”
I didn’t laugh. “Seriously, you need to be. He had a major injury and he’s had a hard time, physically and emotionally.”
“Emotionally,” he repeated.
“He does have emotions,” I returned.
Gavin held up his hands in protest. “I’m not arguing with you! I’m aware of that. I didn’t know many other people were, however.”
“I don’t think many other people. But I know him, a little.”
He nodded at me. “I’ll be careful. Don’t worry.”
Davis fell asleep in the car on the way home. “Hey,” I said once we were in the driveway. I put my hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t stir. I walked around the car and opened his door, then put my hand on his cheek. He hadn’t shaved yet, and the blonde stubble tickled my palm. “Davis.”
He opened his bright blue eyes at me. “I thought I was dreaming about you.”
“I’m right here.”
We looked at each other, then Davis put his hand over mine against his cheek.
“Hard day?” I asked.
“I’m just enjoying the moment,” he answered me, and I smiled. After a while, he let go to unclick his seatbelt, and he leaned on me a little as we walked inside.
I did have more to do, and while Davis rested, Gavin helped me. He had some good ideas but let me take the lead. Davis came out after a few hours, looking more like himself, and wearing his board shorts. “Let’s go swim,” he said.
I looked at my list. There were a few things left on it.
“Leave it,” he told me. “You’ve done enough. She was working through this all last week, too,” he told Gavin.
“I want it to be nice for your friends,” I told him.
“As long as there’s plenty of food, they’ll be happy.”
“Friends?” Gavin asked.
“Teammates,” Davis corrected. “You have a bathing suit here, right? Go change,” he told me.
The water did feel good. Gavin walked with Davis down the beach and into the water while I watched attentively. He was careful, not rushing across the sand, I was glad to see. I swam back and forth, diving down deep, before I remembered how Davis had gotten worried before. I came back up to the surface and waved to him. “I’m right here,” I called. He was watching me and moved carefully, propelling himself with his arms into deeper water.
I swam up. “Hi.”
“The water feels nice,” Davis told me. “I know you can’t touch bottom. You can hold on to me.” I put my hands on his shoulders like I had done before when we had swum together, and he put his hands around my waist. He squeezed gently. We were very close, and I could feel the heat from his big body in the chilly water. I shivered.
“Cold?” He pulled me closer, but I shook my head.
“Davis, this is so your life,” Gavin called from the shallow water. “You just happen to have a beautiful woman who likes to cook and carries around a bikini, hanging around your house. What lucky star were you born under, man?”
I pulled away a little, but Davis held on, his thumbs lightly sweeping up and down my stomach. It was kind of mesmerizing.
“Let me hold you. Let me help you, for once,” he said quietly. “All you do for me, let me do something.”
I looked into his eyes and felt a little dizzy. Maybe I hadn’t eaten enough that day.
“I went back to the art show,” Davis said.
“Wait, what? You did? Why?”
His shoulders moved a little under my hands. “I wanted to take a longer look at your paintings.” He glanced away from me and his gaze went out over the horizon. “My mom’s an artist. I sent pictures of your work to her.”
“You did?” I said again. And again, “Why?”
“I thought she might have an idea of what to do next.”
“There’s nothing to do next with my paintings,” I said, puzzled. “I’ll take them home and put them in the basement with everything else.”
“You should have a real studio with more room and good light,” Davis told me. “You should be selling your work.”
“That’s silly,” I scoffed.
“Why?”
“Well, for one thing, I don’t have the time to devote to it. I certainly don’t have the money to rent studio space. I have to be practical. But I appreciate it, a lot, what you’re saying, and that you talked to your mom for me. It’s really nice to have your support. Thank you, Davis.”
His eyes were almost royal blue above the sparking water. “You’re welcome.”
I swallowed, and really pulled away from him this time. “It’s getting late. I have to get over to the stadium. Sam is coming back to do a walk-through, his first time back. See you tomorrow.” I swam to where I could touch, then waved at Gavin as I awkwardly ran through the water up onto the beach. I looked back once over my shoulder, at Davis still watching me.
Even though we were only blocking our old routines that afternoon at the stadium, not in any way going full-out, Sam still panted in exhaustion. “Maybe I should have ridden that damn stationery bike like they said.” I turned to glare at him. “I don’t think that would have made a difference,” he clarified. “All those doctors don’t really know anything.” He took a cautious step and drew in a breath. “Shit. No, don’t help me. I’ve got it.” He twisted his mouth in pain.
“Can I do anything?”
“No one can do anything. You were probably better off here without me,” he snapped, but he looked over at me out of the corner of his eyes.
Out of breath and ornery as he was, I was still glad to have him back. “No, I wasn’t. We’re a team and I missed you,” I told him. “Should we stop? Are you sure you’re ok to go?”
“I’m as good as I’m going to be. Probably.”
Well, that was inspiring. Trish was staring at us, eyes narrowed. “Let’s try it from the top,” I said. “Rish-tay is atching-way us.”
“I love it when you speak in foreign tongues,” Sam told me. He loosened up quite a bit and by the time we were on our third number we were having fun, and it showed.
We snuck away to get water and give Sam a little rest while Trish was terrorizing the cheerleaders. “Wow, that was something!” she hollered at them. “I’m thinking of a number between one and ten as a grade. Who wants to guess the number? I’m sure you ladies are good guessers!” The Dames quavered in fear.
“How are you really feeling?” I asked Sam seriously.
“I’ve been better, but I’ll tell you, I’ve been worse. I competed in college through all kinds of shit, sprains, strains, tears. I can do this.”
“Don’t, if it’s going to aggravate your injury,” I said. “I mean it. I’d rather we skipped another game.” Although, who knew what would happen to us then?
Sam l
ooked away. “Katie, my darling, my back isn’t going to get any better. There’s pain management, and there are exercises, but this isn’t something that’s going to heal. Everybody has to get through shit sometimes. This is my time. Again.”
This was bad news. He wasn’t going to get better? I started to say something, but then I just nodded.
“Lyle in security tells me you’re hot and heavy with Davis Blake,” Sam said casually.
“What?” I burst out. “Lyle is a little gossipmonger. And he’s wrong. I’m working for Davis, and that’s all.”
Sam just looked at me, bored. “You’re going to have to do better than that.” He pointed to the Woodsmen Dames. “The whole squad thinks you’re screwing him. They’re turning green with jealousy.”
“I’m not…you know, I’m not going to argue this with you. You’ll just have to believe the truth as it falls from my lips, that Davis and I are not,” for some reason I couldn’t get the word out. “You know what you just said, and we’re not doing that.”
“Sure. Rish-tay is looking for us.” We hopped back on the field and stared another number.
“I’m good to go Sunday, yes, sir,” Sam announced loudly as we walked out past Trish and the panting Woodsmen Dames. She was killing them today and I felt sorry for them. I pretended to stop and scratch my foot every few steps so that Sam could rest. “Never felt better in my life,” he continued. “Like I’m a new man.” I saw that Stacy, the Woodsmen Dame retiree, was back in the lineup. That meant I wouldn’t be needed, unless there was another catastrophe.
“Rest and do your exercises,” I cautioned Sam as we left the building. “Please.”
“I’m right on it.” He leaned against the wall under the sign prohibiting smoking and lit a cigarette.
On my way home in the car, my phone rang. I glanced down at the name, Taryn, but I didn’t answer it. I knew what she wanted. Instead I killed time by driving as slowly as possible, taking the most circuitous route that I knew. When I got home I took a shower for a very long time and then thought it would be a good idea to clean the bathroom, too. By that point, it was too late to call anyone. So I didn’t.
The day of the party was sunny and beautiful. You never knew how many more of those you’d get in the fall in northern Michigan, and this was perfect for a backyard BBQ, as catered by Lindy and Logan. They got there early, just after I’d gotten home with Davis after his morning appointments. We went through a very awkward introduction between them in which Logan started babbling about playing football himself (“I was pretty good, for junior high, I mean”), and Lindy asked Davis if he’d ever measured around his biceps, but as soon as Lindy and Logan got to work they were like whirlwinds. “No, stay out of it!” Lindy told me, pushing me out of the kitchen. “Just sit and enjoy yourself.”
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