James grinned but managed to stifle the giggle that nearly burst forth at the comical sight of his lover, tangled in the sheet, trying to run while hopping. He contemplated staying where he was, but with how animated Seth had been, he figured snuggling and sleeping were probably out now. He’d really been looking forward to snuggling back into Seth and another round of sex. With a sigh, he sat up and looked around for his crutches before he remembered that Seth had carried him to bed.
Moments later Seth paced back in the room and ducked into the ensuite, retrieving James’s forearm crutches and talking on the phone. James kept quiet as he watched and listened to his obviously upset lover.
“When?” Seth snapped. The tension radiating off him was like a physical force in the room. “Yeah, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He listened for a few more moments. “Do not let anyone in to see her until I get there. No one!” he snapped at whoever was on the other end of the line. “Yes, thank you. Be there in ten minutes,” Seth finished, and then clicked his cell off.
“Oh God. That was the hospital. My little sister was just brought in and they aren’t sure she’ll make it. I….” Seth trailed off. He continued his whirlwind around the room, grabbing his clothes and quickly dressing.
“Seth,” James said softly. “Do you want me to come with you? I could drive.” He hoped Seth would say yes—he wanted to be there for Seth—but he feared that the answer would be no. It was a family situation after all.
“Huh?” Seth mumbled as he pulled his shirt over his head. “Oh, come with…? Uh, if you want but it’s just going to be a lot of pacing and waiting for someone you don’t know.”
“Tell me where we’re going. I don’t want to delay you with my lack of speed, but you shouldn’t be alone, Seth,” James explained as he stood and headed for his dresser. Seth was already dressed and headed toward the door before James retrieved clean clothes to put on.
James dressed quickly and they headed out immediately. He worried about Seth and his sister—a sister he had never met.
Valet parking was a godsend in James’s opinion, especially right then.
“Tell me where you’re going and I’ll meet you there.”
Seth paused with the door already open. “Emergency surgery. Just ask at the counter when you get there. Cell phones have to be off up there. I gotta…. Thanks,” he trailed off and took off.
He wanted to be with Seth, now. Even more so at the thought the news might be bad. No one should get bad news alone, though he figured Seth’s friends might already be there. He also felt that as Seth’s lover, he should be there for him, no matter what the news was. He really hoped it would be good.
As he headed for emergency surgery, he thought back to when it had been him rushed to surgery and Chase had been the one pacing the waiting room. Chase had always sworn that having his friends around while they awaited news made the hours bearable. He hoped the same would be true for Seth.
As he stepped off the elevator, James noticed Mel rushing down the hall with an empty wheelchair. “James! Your chariot awaits, hurry.”
Mel continued to hurry and spun the chair around next to James, practically shoving him into it, before he grabbed James’s crutches and went barreling down the hall again.
“Wait! What are you doing, Mel?” James demanded as he was manhandled and driven away.
“Seth said you were on your way. He’s stopped talking already. He just paces and glowers at the doors. Well, and growls when anyone gets near him. I’m hoping that having you here will help steady him.”
“I got in here as fast as I could, Mel. I wanted to come in with him but,” James said as he gestured to his legs and crutches.
“Understood, James. He needs you. We need you. If Quinn, if she doesn’t make it, he’s going to lose it. He calls her his sister. They’re that close. I can’t even imagine how bad this will be for him.”
Before James or Mel could talk more, they rounded the corner to the waiting area. Seth was pacing, just as Mel had said, but the dark look on his face caused James to draw in a pained breath. The look wasn’t scared or worried as much as it was murderous. He knew that look. It was the same one Chase had when he learned the extent of how the “accident” happened and about the lies Vic had told to escape any blame.
James maneuvered over to Seth, cautious so he didn’t block his pacing. “Seth?” he said softly.
Seth paused and looked up. “James? You came?” he queried. His head tilted as his face blanked in confusion.
“Of course, Seth. I told you I would be right behind you.” James moved to Seth’s side and wrapped his arms around him for a moment, hoping to provide some support if nothing else. “Do we know anything yet?”
“Nothing. All I know is that Danni was with friends when this happened so at least she wasn’t hurt too. Oh God, Mel. We have to go get Danni. If—if…,” Seth choked, unable to finish his thought.
“Seth, I called Britt. She and her assistant Bryce are on their way to pick up Danni. You’ll have a full waiting room of her friends and yours shortly, but until then, you have James and me. Danni’s a big girl and she knows Britt. Don’t worry,” Mel soothed.
James looked over to Mel as he guided Seth to the chairs and mouthed, “Who’s Danni?”
“Danni is Quinn and Seth’s daughter,” Mel whispered back.
Chapter 12
QUINN and Seth’s daughter? Seth has a daughter?
Even as James continued to hold Seth and provide comfort as best he could, he tensed and wondered what else he didn’t know that might be important. He knew Seth had a history, but a kid? With someone he referred to as his sister?
Before James worked up the courage to ask Seth anything, Britt entered the waiting area. A moment later an adorable little girl of maybe six bounced into the room, closely followed by a tall, powerfully built man—Bryce, he presumed.
The little girl bounded right over to where Seth now sat, her red pigtails swinging with every movement. “Unca Seth, why you look so sad?” Danni asked as she put her little hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look up at her. Her voice was high and sweet, and made James immediately think of bubble gum and ponies.
“Hi, princess,” Seth replied, his voice a little wooden. He scooped her up and held her close. “Do you know why we are here?”
“Auntie Britt said mommy was sick, and we had to come here to see her. When can I see mommy?”
“I don’t know, Danni. We are waiting for the doctor to come tell us how your mommy is. Do you need anything to eat or drink?” Seth asked the little girl. “Do you know if she’s eaten yet, Britt?” he asked, turning to face Britt.
“Yes, and I have some snacks and even a couple of juice boxes. Relax, Seth. I have raised a couple of kids of my own, ya know.” Her voice was chipper, though James could see the worry and pain in her eyes.
Seth nodded to her as he shifted Danni sideways. James paused, not sure if he should sit next to Seth or not. Did the little girl, his daughter, know her daddy was gay? Would it be appropriate? More importantly, did Seth even want him to be there? With the way Seth had greeted him, he wasn’t sure.
“James, come down here,” Seth said, his voice barely above a whisper.
As James settled in the chair next to Seth, Danni looked him over carefully. “Why you have those funny things on your arms? Did you get hurt too, mister?”
Despite his irritation at not having known she existed and fear for Seth and Quinn, James was enchanted by the cute little pixie primly perched on his lover’s lap. “No, sweetie. My legs don’t work quite right so I use these to help me walk. Don’t worry.” He set the forearm crutches aside and extended his hand to her. “I’m James. A friend of….” James paused a moment to think of what to call Seth.
“He’s my boyfriend, princess,” Seth interjected.
“Oh, he’s cute, Unca Seth,” she chirped, then suddenly leaned forward, landing in James’s lap, her arms wrapped around his neck. “Hi,” Danni sang.
&nbs
p; Uff. “Um, hi.” James nearly chuckled.
“Well, looks like you pass the kid test,” Britt commented with a soft smile. “Though you, little miss, shouldn’t launch yourself at people you don’t know.”
“But Unca Seth said he was his boyfriend,” she insisted with a pout. “My Unca wouldn’t date a bad man,” Danni said with all the conviction a six-year-old could muster. Even though James wanted to be upset, he just couldn’t. She was so adorable!
“It’s okay, Britt. Danni didn’t hurt me.” As James shifted her so it wouldn’t be a lie, a man in scrubs entered the waiting area. The green scrubs were rumpled, and the man’s expression was serious as he looked around.
“Seth Burns?” the man’s clear voice called out. Seth was up and over to him faster than James could hardly process.
“I’m Seth.”
“Dr. Greene,” the man replied and extended his hand. Seth shook it on autopilot. The two men moved to just outside the doors. James could only hear snippets of the conversation, but the “I’m sorry, sir” and Seth’s tears and shoulders shaking made it obvious that the news wasn’t good. James did what he could to keep the little one in his lap busy and distracted. Those in the know needed to be the ones to tell her what was happening, not her overhearing things.
JAMES found Seth in his arms shortly thereafter, the others having cleared out, Danni included. Mel was the only other person still there.
“Seth,” Mel said softly. “I know you don’t want to talk about this yet, but we need to start proceedings as soon as possible. To protect Danni.”
Seth nodded but didn’t let go of James. “I know, but you have all her papers; the paternity affidavit, her will, and…. Can’t you just file? You’re the lawyer.”
“Yes, Seth. I am the lawyer that drew up everything, but I need to know if you are really able and willing to take Danni and raise her. When you agreed to this no one thought you would actually have to raise her. You were simply the surrogate and Uncle, now you have to be both mom and dad for your little princess.”
Seth’s head snapped up, a cold expression in his eyes. “I am well aware of what I agreed to and what I expected. Danni is my daughter, period. I will, I will make it work. Her things can be moved over to my—”
“You don’t have a guest bedroom in your condo, Seth,” Mel countered.
“I do,” James whispered. “You could keep her at my place until you can figure out what to do. I-if, if you want.”
Mel and Seth both turned to look at James. “At your house?” Seth asked, his tone flat, yet his eyes were shadowed in confusion.
“I’ve been to your condo, Seth. Mel’s right. It’s not set up to handle a lively little girl. You don’t have a room for her. There’s no yard for her to play….” He trailed off. He swallowed hard, looking down at his shoes, and then added, “I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet now.” He couldn’t believe he’d spoken up like that. Like Seth would want to move him and his new daughter into his stone cottage-type home, even temporarily. Ha!
“Those are good points, Seth. At least until you can provide a better situation, if you want. Quinn’s parents are likely to fight this, you know that. You need to show how well you understand and can cater to her needs. You already provide things like her private school, but children need love and a home much more than fancy schools or expensive clothes.”
“But that cottage is James’s home,” Seth stated firmly. “I will not just take it over to simply attempt to look good to people who hate me. There is nothing in my life that they can use to show I’m not capable of caring for Danni.”
Mel arched his back and several vertebrae popped. He relaxed in relief before opening his eyes to take in Seth’s scowl. “Seth, I never said you should take over James’s house, nor did I say your life was in any way lacking. What I said was that your condo is not suited to your new situation, and as your lover here pointed out, his place would be better for a little one.”
“If you don’t want her exposed to us or don’t want to risk her getting too attached to me, I can ask Chase to let me stay with him until you can find a new place. Your place is great for a bachelor or maybe even a childless couple, but—” James paused to take a deep breath. “—but I think she would be happier in a house with a yard and her own room,” he finally added in a whisper.
“James, we don’t even live together, and now you are offering to move both me and my child in? A child you did not even know about until today? Why? Why would you do that?” Seth watched him intently, though James was uncertain what he found.
“He’s right, James. This would be a huge change for you,” Mel added. Only James noticed the hopeful gleam in his eyes as he looked between the two men.
James nodded slowly. “I would really like to ask a million questions about Danni and her mom, and why you never told me you had a kid, but right now taking care of your daughter is more important than placating my worries or questions. And, well, you’re always there for me….” Slowly meeting Seth’s inquisitive eyes, James swallowed and added softly, “Let me be your shoulder and partner, please.”
“YOU did what?” Chase squeaked.
Jaw tight, James set his glass down with such force the juice he had just poured splashed out, making his hand and shirt wet and sticky. “Invited Seth and Danni to move in, at least for now,” James explained for the third time. “What else was I supposed to do, Chase?”
“I don’t know…. Demand to know why he’s not bothered to tell you he had a kid,” Chase snapped. “I mean, you two have been together long enough that something that important should have been discussed. And what about this ex or sorta-sister or whatever the hell the mom was?”
“I don’t know yet, but Mel said something about Seth being her surrogate. I couldn’t ask right then. He obviously cared for this woman, and she’d just died. Right then was not the time to act the jealous boyfriend.”
“Maybe, but now you’ve got someone else’s kid living in your home,” Chase murmured, finally winding down a bit. “I just worry about you, Jamie. A kid that age is going to be hell on your mobility, and what about your art? She’s too young to be allowed near most of your work.”
“I’ll figure it out. I can’t not be there for Seth. Chase. I think I love him. Kid aside, he shouldn’t be alone, and I—I want to be the one to help him. Do you really think I did the wrong thing?”
“No,” Chase answered with a sigh. “I would probably do the same if I found someone as great as you have. I just worry and well, ignore me. How old is the kid and what does she like?”
“She’s six and seems very girly. You know, pigtails and ponies, and she wore a lot of pink. Why?”
“Because, your house isn’t set up for her yet so I’ll go shopping and be back later,” he explained. As he headed out, leaving James confused and nervous, he could be heard mumbling. “Six. Girl. Right, pink and dolls and like frilly stuff, probably.”
James set to cleaning up the mess, and then headed toward his bedroom to change when the doorbell rang. He’d gotten as far as taking off his shirt but not putting a new one on. With the ringing being so insistent, he hurried on his crutches back out front in just his jeans.
“Chase, did you forget your keys again?” James asked as he opened the door.
Instead of Chase he found Seth and the pixie-sized Danni standing there. She clutched Seth’s hand with one of hers while her other hand had a death grip on a stuffed, pastel tie-dyed bunny in a tiny white and green Irish dancing dress with miniature black Mary Janes. The bright-eyed happy imp of a girl was gone, and in her place was a puffy eyed, sad little waif.
“Hi, James. You still want us to stay with you?” Seth’s voice was soft, tired and sad but still cautious as he looked from James to Danni and back.
“Of course I do.” James tore his eyes away from Seth and locked onto Danni’s. “Let me finish getting dressed and then we can get Danni settled.”
Danni looked up at him with big doe eyes. “Thank you, Mr. James.
Can Ms. Rainbow stay too?” Her light earnest voice and trembling bottom lip broke James’s heart.
“Ms. Rainbow can stay as long as she wants. Does she need her own bed or is she going to stay with you, sweetie?”
“With me.” A small smile spread across her little heart-shaped face.
James returned her smile. “Good. Then why don’t you and your daddy, um uncle—” he corrected quickly, “—go pick out which room will be yours, and I’ll come find you two in a minute?” James looked back up to Seth, cautious. “That work for you, sir?”
“Of course, baby. And James, thank you.”
James left them to explore the two guest rooms. He finished dressing, wondering how long Seth would want to stay. He secretly hoped they never left even as he questioned if he would really be able to handle the new living arrangements.
AS SETH came back from settling Danni in the bedroom beside James’s studio—across the house from his bedroom—Chase stood. “I should let you two have some time together now that the little one is asleep. I’m glad she liked the stuff I brought over, but you both look beat.” Chase leaned over to hug James, then offered his hand to Seth. “I’ll stop by in the morning, okay?”
They both agreed. Seth walked Chase out but came right back.
“You ready for bed, Seth?”
“Not sure I will actually be able to sleep but yes,” Seth answered. He bent to kiss James’s lips lightly, then moved back to allow him space to get off the couch.
Once in his, now their, bedroom, they each took turns cleaning up and dressing for bed. James in sleep pants and a worn T-shirt, Seth in sleep pants only.
For the first time, James pulled Seth to him, wrapped his arms around him, and tucked the covers around them both.
“James,” Seth said after an indeterminate time.
“Hmm?”
“What are we doing?”
Carding his fingers repeatedly through Seth’s hair, James thought for a moment before he replied. “We’re going to sleep. You need to rest, Seth. I left the door open in case Danni wakes up and needs you, so don’t worry. I told her she can come in if she wants to. Now, close your eyes, please.”
Designs of Desire Page 11