Chilled now, enough to make goose bumps rise on her arms, Francesca hurried to Grady’s room.
The door stood open. He was sitting on his side of the bed in triangle-patterned gray-and-black boxer shorts. His broad back looked sturdy and strong.
He glanced over his shoulder at her. “I knew you couldn’t resist taking another peek.”
She smiled. “It’s called new mother syndrome. I don’t think I’ll ever be cured from it.”
When he slid under the sheet and plump comforter, she realized she would be crawling in with him. She stood immobilized for a moment.
“Get under the covers before you freeze,” he advised her. “There’s a cold wind tonight.”
Practical. She had to view their relationship the same way. The king-size bed was so large, they wouldn’t even be touching. She went to the side opposite from him, lifted the covers and crawled in, stretching out flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling.
“Ready for me to switch off the light?”
“Sure. If we don’t fall asleep quickly, we might be up again before we get forty winks.”
He turned off the light.
They lay there in the darkness, a thread of moonlight shining through the window.
“I didn’t hang blinds because there’s no one for a couple of miles. I like to see the stars and the moon when it’s bright.”
The bed was in a position that they could do just that.
He reached over and felt her arm. “You’re still cold.”
Yes, she was, but it was an inner coldness. She didn’t realize she could feel so lonely, sleeping in the same bed with someone.
“You’re warm,” she returned. “And you showered.” She could smell the scent of his soap.
“So did you.”
She always used the same scented body wash and shampoo. Maybe its bouquet lingered longer than she imagined. “Grady, is this as awkward for you as it is for me?”
“It doesn’t have to be awkward. Come here. Let me hold you and warm you up.”
It was an invitation she could decline. She knew that about Grady. He was making an offer she could accept or refuse. He might not like what she did, but he didn’t react in anger. So different from the other men who had been in her life. His kindness and patience were two of the reasons she’d fallen in love with him.
Because she was in love with him, she moved toward him.
He moved toward her.
They met in the middle.
“Turn on your side,” he murmured. When she did, he wrapped his arm around her. The position was intimate, too intimate for her not to realize what was happening—he was becoming aroused.
When she started to move away, he said, “Don’t. It’s okay. I just want to hold you.”
With his breath at her ear, his arm around her middle, his body as close as if they were making love, she fell asleep and dreamed of possibilities.
Chapter Twelve
When Grady walked into his house the following evening, a feeling overcame him he’d never experienced before. There was an aroma of something cooking in the oven. Joshua was sleeping in his car carrier, which was sitting on the counter, while Francesca made a salad.
“Hi,” she said with a smile. “He just fell asleep again so I’m trying to put the rest of dinner together.”
All too well he remembered the feel of Francesca in his arms last night. She’d slept. He hadn’t during the first few hours. He’d been aroused and tried to distract himself from that with thoughts of the career Joshua might choose, the colleges he might attend. But he’d still been aware of Francesca’s soft body against his, her silky hair escaping its topknot on the pillow, the satin of her gown against his legs. When Joshua had cried, he’d told her to go back to sleep, and he’d gotten up and fed him a bottle, appreciating every moment of holding him.
The next time she’d gotten up and told him to go back to sleep. That time he had…until his alarm had beeped. Then he’d wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her, but something had held him back. She could go back to the Victorian at any time and take his son with her.
So now instead of kissing Francesca, he concentrated on Joshua. “Do you want me to lay him in his crib?”
“Would you? The chicken will be ready soon. Maybe we can eat before he wakes up again.”
A few minutes later in Joshua’s room, Grady adjusted the baby monitor. He was standing at the crib, smoothing his baby’s wispy, dark brown hair, when he heard Francesca’s cell phone ring.
Her leave of absence had started, but maybe the neonatal unit already needed her for a consultation.
He stood where he was, not wanting to eavesdrop, but unable to avoid it since her voice carried down the hall. Maybe because she was surprised by the caller.
“Darren?”
Grady’s heart rate stepped up its pace.
“Thank you for the offer, but I’ll have to pass.”
Offer for what? Grady thought.
“But why should I need to go to dinner with you just to discuss my part-time position? Right now it’s hard to get away. All of my time and attention are being taken up by the baby. Whatever you need to discuss, we can do it over the phone, can’t we?…Yes, Chez Marie’s would be very nice, but Darren—”
Grady heard the hesitation in her voice.
“I’m living with Grady now.”
There was a long pause and Grady wondered if that was on Darren’s side or hers.
“I know ‘living with’ isn’t ‘married to.’ But as I said, my hands are full with a new baby. I know you’re close to Dr. Gutieras and of course I’d appreciate a good word from you, but I can’t go to dinner with you, Darren. Our personal relationship is over. You’re a great doctor and I’ll consult with you, but a professional relationship is all we’re going to have.”
Grady heard only silence now, not even a goodbye, and he wondered what had happened. After he exited Joshua’s room, he heard the sound of Francesca chopping celery on the cutting board. She was chopping very fast and looked frazzled.
He wasn’t going to pretend he hadn’t overheard the conversation. “That was your old boyfriend?”
The look she gave him told him he shouldn’t use that terminology, even in sarcasm. “What did Whitcomb want?”
“Basically, he wanted me to go out with him.” She chopped some more.
“To discuss working part-time? What does he have to do with it?”
“He shouldn’t have anything to do with it!” she said angrily. “It’s up to the board. But he knows Dr. Gutieras very well. They play golf, they go out for drinks, they play cards together, and I think he wanted to barter. If I went out to dinner with him, he’d put in a good word for me, say that keeping me on part-time would be beneficial for the hospital.”
“And if you don’t go to dinner with him?”
“We didn’t get that far. I reminded him we weren’t going to have a personal relationship.”
“So now what do you think he’s going to do?”
“I don’t know. I hope nothing. But if he’s angry about our splitting up, if he’s angrier still now that he tried to resurrect our relationship and I rebuffed him, I don’t know what will happen. The worst will be that I will either have to go back full-time or lose my job. I’ll deal with whatever happens. I always have.” Her voice had picked up firm determination.
“But you want to work part-time, right?”
She brushed her hair from her cheek, looking beautiful…but tired. “Yes, I do. Very much.”
Following his instincts now, he went to her, took the knife from her hand and put his arms around her. “You’ll get the part-time position. I know you will.”
He would make sure that she did. She was not going to feel pressured by Darren Whitcomb about her job. His father was on the hospital board. Grady could ask him to call his cronies who were also on the board and pave the way for Francesca’s request to work part-time. This problem was solved as easy as that. But he didn’t want
to tell Francesca what he had planned. He wanted to make it happen first.
Holding her, he stroked his hand through her hair and wished to hell he could take her to bed. That might eliminate all the tension between them. That might lead her to tell him what she was thinking and feeling about where they were going to go from here.
Yet if the board meeting was the day after tomorrow, he’d better get out to the barn and make the call. Pulling away from her, he rubbed his thumb across her chin. “I have to go out to the barn and do some chores. Do I have a few minutes before supper?”
“Sure. I still have to cook the rice.”
He should tell her he liked having her here. He should tell her supper was the least of it. But he didn’t…because he didn’t have the courage to think about what the most of it might be.
Francesca had just laid Joshua down for his afternoon nap—the hospital board meeting on her mind—when her cell phone rang. Her heart sped up a little as she thought the caller might be Grady. However, when she checked the caller ID, she saw the call was coming from Dr. Gutieras’s private number. Was the chief of staff calling her with good news or bad news?
After hellos, he said, “I’ll get right to the point. I just wanted to let you know that your part-time position was approved. You’ll be receiving an official letter in the mail, but I thought you’d like to know sooner rather than later.”
“Thank you, Dr. Gutieras. This means a lot. I really was afraid the board might not go for the idea.”
“Well,” he drawled, “the calls from Patrick Fitzgerald didn’t hurt. But you already had the votes you needed.”
She was puzzled. “Calls?”
“Patrick has been a member of this board for three years now and is well liked. He’s also respected, so his vote of confidence goes a long way. And as I said, I could tell by the way the wind was blowing that you already had the votes you needed.”
And just why would Grady’s father make the calls unless Grady had asked him to? She felt first frustration and then anger rising up inside her. She didn’t want Grady interfering in her career. Was this the way he’d handle their son? Try to smooth the way and not let him make his own way?
After another thank-you and goodbye to the chief of staff, Francesca wandered the house, restless and upset. Maybe this had nothing to do with Grady. Maybe his father had decided on his own to make the calls on her behalf.
She was still ruminating as she prepared a pot roast and set it in the oven at a low heat. Next she checked her laptop and found her recipe for chocolate pudding. Fifteen minutes later, she was pouring it into custard cups.
The door opened and she was surprised to see Grady. “You’re home early.” She tried to keep her tone neutral. Was he home because he already knew the verdict from the board?
“Word has it there’s going to be a wind and snow storm this afternoon. I told everybody to go home. I didn’t want them driving in that.”
He took off his jacket and tossed it over a kitchen chair. “Something smells good.”
“Is the weather the real reason you came home early today?”
“What other reason?”
“Tell me something. Did you ask your dad to make calls to board members on my behalf?”
His guilty look was the answer. “Francesca—” he began.
“Why did you believe you could exert control over my career?”
“Don’t make it sound so dramatic!” he said. “If everyone wasn’t on your side and you needed a couple of votes, what was the harm? Whitcomb might have been able to hurt you by voting it down.”
“It sounds as if your father could influence enough board members that that would never happen.”
“It was a long shot. When I told Dad about it, he wanted to help. I don’t see what the harm is, Frannie. What’s the problem?”
She couldn’t believe he really didn’t know her yet…that he hadn’t realized her independence meant everything to her. “The problem is, I didn’t know what Darren was going to do and it didn’t really matter. I had talked to each of those board members. They knew my reasons for wanting a part-time position, as well as insurance benefits to go with it. It was no secret that lots of mothers might like similar positions. And what if Darren had pushed against it, simply for old times’ sake? He could have pushed, but I still made my point with other members. They all have equal votes.”
Grady harrumphed. “He’s a cardiologist. The other members are teachers, business owners, a plumber. His influence could have swayed them.”
“The board is set up to have balance from the hospital and the community,” she reminded him impatiently.
Grady plopped his hat on the hat shelf. “Why are you so angry?”
“I shouldn’t even have to tell you.”
He took her by her arm and swung her around. “Explain it to me.”
She stared him straight in the eye. “I want to live my own life, Grady. I want to run my own life. I want Joshua to learn to run his. I’ll take care of him, I’ll support him, but I won’t go over his head to affect what’s going to happen to him. That’s control. When I learned your father had made those calls and you had probably asked him to do it, I felt as if you were trying to take control of my life…of our child’s life.”
“Getting that part-time slot might not have been so easy if Whitcomb had interfered,” Grady still insisted.
“I would have fought my own battle if it had come to that. I think he finally realized from our conversation that what he did or didn’t do wouldn’t make any difference because he and I are finished. What were you trying to do, compete with him?” She didn’t get a “don’t be ridiculous,” and that was an insight in itself.
Grady threw up his hands in frustration. “I was just trying to help.”
“Well,” she protested, “help is assuring me that no matter what happens, I’ll find a way to work and take care of Joshua. What you did was take control. You want control over what happens to me, how I live my life and how I raise our child!”
“You bet I want control over how you raise our child. Just wait until he learns to drive and sneaks some beer. You’re going to want control like hell then.”
“My son won’t drink and drive.” Her voice was higher and louder than she intended.
“My son won’t, either, because he’ll have the right values. He’ll be able to come to me and trust what I tell him.”
“And you don’t believe he’ll be able to trust what I tell him?”
“What you and I tell him has to match, even if you’re living on one side of town and I’m on the other.”
“How can they match if we don’t talk about the situation first?” He hadn’t discussed with her bringing his father into the mix.
Now Grady looked angry, too. He grabbed his hat down from the rack, brushed it against his thigh, and then plopped it onto his head again.
“Why didn’t you trust me, Grady, to let this play out the way it should? Why didn’t you trust that I’d find another job if I had to? Why didn’t you trust that I would do what was right for our baby?”
“And what about me? What if the right thing for you is moving back to Oklahoma?”
She gazed up at him with absolute sadness. “You still believe I might take your child from you. And I have to wonder, Grady, in the dead of night, do you still wish you would have had a DNA test taken?”
“No!” he erupted. “I have no doubt Joshua is my child. But I do have doubts that you’ll stay.”
How could she stay when he didn’t love her?
He lowered the brim on his Stetson. “I think we’d better shut this down before it gets nasty. I’m going out for a while.”
As he grabbed his jacket and left, she wanted to call out to him. But she couldn’t. Not because she was afraid of his anger. Down deep inside, she knew Grady was a different man from her father…a different man from Darren. She didn’t call out because she was afraid if she did, she’d find out she loved him with all her heart…but
that love wasn’t returned.
The wind roared as Grady drove to Liam’s. His brother was surprised when Grady turned up on the steps of the row house he rented.
He beckoned him to come in with a warning over his shoulder. “You shouldn’t be out. The wind’s already over thirty-five miles per hour. It’s supposed to go to fifty…with snow. What are you doing here?”
Grady didn’t soft-pedal what was going on. “Francesca’s upset. I had Dad make phone calls on her behalf to the board members.”
“So she could get that part-time job?”
“Dad told you?”
“Yeah, he told me. He tells me everything. He tells you everything, too. And John. So why was she upset? Didn’t she get the job?”
Grady opened the snaps on his jacket and lowered himself to the sofa. “She got the job. But the chief of staff told her she had the number of votes she needed before Dad made those phone calls.”
“Oh, that was great of him. But I still don’t get it. Why is she upset?”
“I told Dad to make the calls. She sees that as trying to control her life.”
“You didn’t ask her if she wanted Dad to make the calls?” Liam’s voice sounded incredulous. He didn’t even give his brother time to answer as he went on, “That’s psychology 101 with women, Grady. You have to ask if it’s what they want before you do it. Hell, that’s why my marriage broke up. I never asked. I never really even knew what she needed. What does Francesca need?”
“She needs—” Grady stopped. “She had a rough childhood.”
“Abuse?” Liam asked soberly.
Grady nodded.
His brother whistled low. “Then you can’t put her in a position where she thinks you’re making all the decisions and ordering her around.”
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