by Kuhn, Steve
Cutty—The first time I saw you, I was scared shitless. I’d never show it on the outside, but I’ve never met someone who really intimidated me by appearance alone. But there you were, large and in charge. I’m sorry that people judge you like that, and I’m sorry I did the same. I’ve never known a kinder, gentler soul than yours. Never ever lose faith. Those around you depend on that. They depend on you. I never got to thank you for some of the things you’ve done. I wish I had now. Risking your life in the arena against Cholo was something you could have done for yourself and Rebecca, but you did that for all of us. And when you picked me up and held me in your arms after I lost the baby… You’ll never know what that meant to me. Take care of them, Cutty, just like you always have.
Jon—Stop acting so tough. Don’t ever think that I don’t know you. Underneath that gruff exterior and behind your shit-eating grin is a sensitive and caring man. I’ve seen you with Lilly, and we’ve talked behind closed doors on more than one occasion. Your pillow talk is much more attractive than when you’re acting like a dick. I know you can’t be alone. I know that you try to carry that alpha-male aura because you’re too afraid to look in the mirror and realize that the world no longer revolves around John Campbell. Please… let your true self shine for the others. Put someone else ahead of yourself. Maybe it will start with Lilly. Just know that I could have loved you. It’s a shame that when you looked into my eyes, you were too busy looking at your own reflection.
Murphy—You took us into your home and shared your secrets. You covered our asses more times than I can count. Your talent for reading people is uncanny, and you’re easily the smartest and wisest man I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. Use that! Keep them honest, and never let them lose sight of who they are. Call bullshit when they’re trying to mislead you, and teach them to never be taken advantage of.
Rebecca—We’ve had our differences. I hated you for taking my eye, and I held that grudge for way too long. But it was an accident, and shit happens. You’re a strong woman and a damn fine survivor. I’m so sorry about Trey and the way we handled that. We made a mistake, and sadly, that cost you more than any of us. I wish I would have just hugged you and been there for you like you were there for me after the baby. You got me through that and probably saved my life. You cleaned me up and gave me the shoulder to cry on that I never gave you after Trey. I am so, so sorry I wasn’t a better friend to you. I can only hope that by saving you at the dump I’ve made my peace.
Dext—My knight in rusty armor. Stop being so insecure. Stop second-guessing yourself. You’re stronger than you think. The problem is, you’re too damn smart for your own good. Sometimes you have to just act instead of thinking things through so much. There’s a time and a place for everything. Now is the time to lead. The people we’ve lost weigh heavily on your mind, and you’re right to never forget them. But never let it own you. Just honor them: Gary, Hope, Kate, Chuck, Junior, Tom, Bizzy, Trey, Wyatt, Fool, even my own little girl. Never list me among the dead, Dext, please. Write your story. Tell the world what it took to be a survivor and to be human in these times. They will find the answer, and they will rebuild from the ashes, but the generations ahead of us need to know what we did. They need to understand what was lost and who gave their lives for us all to carry on. Thank you for being my friend. You should have kissed me a long time ago, Dext. Damn you for thinking and not acting.
Wish me luck. Take care of Lilly. She’s all that matters now.
With Love,
Kylee
Cotton put his hand on my shoulder and said, “We gave her enough food and water for a few weeks and some ammo, even though we couldn’t spare it. She’ll be okay, kid.”
Harris nodded a tightlipped apology and offered, “I’m sorry this happened, but I hope you understand that it was for the safety of everyone.”
And with that, they turned and left me alone.
Progress Report
To: Col. Lang
From: Dr. Robert Albert Morofsky
Re: Progress Report
Date: unknown
I am unclear as to how long I’ve been awake. I honestly can’t even tell what day it is anymore. What I can tell you, however, is that my work with Subject 17 has been a staggering success thus far.
My arrival at the New Mexico facility was a testament to the fine men and women who were tasked with my protection. I hadn’t been out in the real world for months, and I had no clue just how bad things had gotten out there. By my calculations, the dead must outnumber the living some four hundred to one at this point. We came under attack no less than thirteen times on our way here, and even with the superior marksmanship of my escort, we lost nearly half by the time we arrived.
I’ve kept them for further study. No reason for them to go to waste. I’m sure they would be proud to know they served the greater good even in death.
You’ll be pleased to know that Subject 17 is in wonderful shape even with the daily sedatives we’ve been giving him. The poor bastard’s nearly been comatose since the second wave began, and we’ve stuck him with more needles than I would have thought possible. Yet, he still regenerates every time. Even his vascular integrity remains fully intact. He doesn’t even bruise anymore after injections or tissue samples. It’s absolutely astounding!
I’ve also managed to pin down the mutation that causes the ‘running’ phenomena, and you’ll be pleased to learn that only one in three hundred retain this level of physical ability and, as such, the threat level is minimal. It is not a number that will increase over time, as it is not a trait passed on through the bites of the dead, but more of a reaction within the person they were before death. However, I do expect them to be pack leaders in future instances.
That brings me to my next order of business, the alphas. This sort of ‘alpha’ dominance among the dead is purely natural and is, in my opinion, a very clear retention of instinct with regards to the exploitation of food sources found everywhere in nature. It is why lesser animals gravitate to the dominant being in nearly every case. It is because they are able to ensure the pack eats. So, it is only logical that beings such as these, driven wholly by the need to feed, would group in herds led by the ones more capable of seeking out and capturing their food source. It’s just that their particular food source is, well, us. If they exhibit some of the same natural behaviors as other species found in the natural world, there may be more behaviors they have in common. The next logical step is to find out what these behaviors are and how they can be exploited.
In the coming days, I plan to try some very exciting experiments to see if I can get them to view me as an alpha. Bear in mind that this is not an attempt to domesticate them in any way, but more an effort to see if they can be led effectively. That is to say, we could perhaps act as ‘pied pipers’ on a grand scale for their wholesale extermination. Imagine leading them by the thousands into kill zones! I feel that would be much more efficient than throwing million-dollar bombs by the dozen into every city, especially if those cities still contain pockets of survivors. But I digress.
Now for the bad news. A proper vaccine still eludes us. We’ve managed to make it so that we can prevent subjects from turning after death, but two things are still driving me insane. The first is the biting. Every single case that I’ve seen of a bite from the undead has been fatal. Even in the case of a vaccinated individual who didn’t turn after death, the bite was a killer. So, while there is hope to prevent the reproduction of the animated dead, I cannot seem to determine why the bites are a death sentence. The second is the cases of the vaccinated turning for no reason in their sleep. We think it’s a side effect of the meds, but I can’t seem to get around it. I have a theory that it has to do with the lower blood pressure and heart rate while sleeping, but nothing concrete yet. We’ll keep working at it, though.
I’ve heard word that SSG Chalmers may be on his way to this facility. I can’t say I’m surprised since he is clearly a trusted confidant of yours, which was why I was certain
you wouldn’t mind me filling him in on the more sensitive matters of my studies. He admires you greatly, Col. Lang. Once he arrives, I will show him the results and perhaps even allow Subject 17 to wake long enough to meet him personally.
Regardless, you’ll be hearing from one or both of us soon enough.
- Dr. Morofsky
Entry 101
It was no real surprise that I was woken up by a boot to my ass. I snapped awake to the sound of Cutty’s voice booming, “Get yo’ ass up, nigga.”
He had his pack on, and he was flanked by JC and Murphy with Fart panting near the doorway to the bedroom where I had been spending my nights. I knew what was up. Cutty had his machetes on his hips, and JC stood by with his bear strapped across his back. Murphy, following suit, stood with his arms crossed, his bow and quiver strapped across his back.
I was rubbing the sleep outta my eyes when Murphy told me, “Move your ass, Sally. She’s got nearly a full day on us. The longer you take to change your tampon, the further ahead she’s gettin’.”
I told him I was going as fast as I could. It was the truth, too. I’ve never been a morning person. Pair that with some of the best sleep I’ve had since the beginning, and it’s a recipe for a lazy Dext—just sayin’. I suppose I should’ve been in more of a rush to leave or I should’ve been stoked at the fact that everyone was on the same page about what to do, but the truth is, I wasn’t. I’m not. Even right now, I’m not really backing it.
Bottom line for me is that Kylee said her good-byes. She did what she needed to do, and she did the right thing by writing that letter. She gave me the closure I don’t usually get from those around us that die. In my mind, that should be all there is. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss her already or that I won’t worry about her. It simply means that she’s gone. I just think we should leave well enough alone. She wished for us to be safe here, and she wanted the best for us. I think we should honor her wishes in that sense and just stay.
Does that make me a dick?
Yeah, I thought so, too. So, I strapped up my laces, tucked my pistol down my pants, and put my backpack on. What the fuck else was I gonna do? Tell Cutty ‘no’? Those dudes stood there motionless the entire time as I got my shit together, too.
We hit the steps at the front porch, and I could hear Rebecca shouting angrily at someone off to my left. “What do you mean ‘no’? You have to! What else did you think was going to happen? Oh, that’s right, you didn’t think! You didn’t think of anyone but yourself!”
Cutty came down off the steps to break it up as we heard Dana shouting, “She’s not mine! I don’t want her to be mine! I’m her nanny, not her mother, and it’s not exactly paying well these days!”
Cutty stepped between them and said, “Eeeeeasy, y’all. Calm down. What da problem is?”
Rebecca, pointing at Dana, snapped, “She’s not going to keep Lilly here. She’s actually telling me that if we leave, we have to take her.”
Wide-eyed and disgusted, Dana told him, “She’s not my burden anymore. I’m twenty years old. I don’t want a kid. I don’t want any kids. If you leave her here, she’s going to be an orphan. It’s not my problem anymore.”
Cutty was gettin’ pissed. “Dat li’l girl was with you all dis time, and you gon’ jus’ tell her she on her own now! Da fuck is wrong wit’ you?”
Dana scoffed and retorted, “Oh, big surprise that you’re going to side with your precious Rebecca. Look, I love her, but I don’t want her. You guys killed her parents. You deal with it.”
Cutty’s jaw dropped, and he shook his head, saying, “Dat ain’t fair, Dana…”
After all this time, you get a sort of sixth sense about people or things that may or may not be behind you. I got that feeling just then and turned around to see Lilly standing in the doorway of the house. She was clutching her stuffed dinosaur, her bottom lip quivering and tears filling her eyes. Lilly turned around and ran back inside. Goddammit…!
I started to run after her, but I stopped when I heard Cotton call out, “Hey! I can’t have y’all disturbing the peace like this. Besides that, it’s early. People are trying to sleep.”
He dropped his hand casually to his sidearm, tapping his fingers thoughtfully on the butt of the weapon. That was very likely just a natural habit for Cotton, but I found myself nearly drawing my own piece. Luckily, Cotton must’ve sensed the tension and let his hand drop. He raised his eyebrow at me, and I offered a silent apology for being twitchy by holding up my open hand.
He suggested, “Let’s go inside. We can talk about it privately.”
Dana narrowed her eyes and told us all, “I told you, I’m done. I’m not going, and I’m not keeping Lilly. It’s just not going to happen.” She stormed off towards the houses on the opposite side if the street while the rest of us followed Cotton inside.
We all sat around the dining-room table with the exception of JC, who said, “I’ll go talk to Lilly.” He dashed upstairs.
Cotton drummed on the table, and after a moving rendition of “Shave and a Haircut,” he said, “Figured you’d be going after her…”
Cutty sarcastically replied, “Yeah, thanks fo’ all yo’ help, Mista Cotton.”
Cotton sighed heavily and told us all, “It wasn’t my call. Still, to be honest with you, I probably would have sent her away if it was my call. There’re too many people at risk here—good people. If Vietnam taught me anything, it taught me that you don’t take risks with the people you care about if you can help it. This is one of those situations.”
Murphy was quietly observing him and finally spoke up, saying, “If you’re all done justifying your actions and making yourself feel better, we’d like to get going.”
Cotton chuckled, and he knew he wasn’t really welcome among us. He reached down to his belt and unclipped a large radio then set it on the table in front of him. “Vietnam also taught me that you don’t leave one of your own behind. Now, I’ll admit that this situation is… unique… but the fact remains that you have a member of your group out there, and you want to ensure her safety if for some reason that bite doesn’t burn her out.”
He shoved the radio over to me, and I caught it before it fell off the edge of the table. “Those marines left us two of these before they took off when Harris sent ’em away—told us that if we changed our minds, we could try and make contact using those. The batteries crap out quick, so don’t leave it on all the damned time. I figure your best bet is finding those marines if you somehow manage to catch up with your girl. One of my guys is a good welder. He said the armor on that rig of yours looks like shit…”
Murphy snorted at the dig on his workmanship.
“I had him tighten it up for ya, and I’ve seen to it that you have food and water loaded up. I’d very much appreciate it if we could keep that bit of information from Harris. Don’t suppose he’d take too kindly to me handing over supplies like that, but you’re going to have that little girl with you, and I refuse to send you out unprepared,” he said to us.
He stood up to leave and offered a handshake. Cutty clasped it tightly and told Cotton, “You a good man, Cotton. We appreciate it.”
Murphy told him, “Harris won’t hear anything about this—you have my word. We’re leaving immediately.”
I escorted Cotton to the door and out onto the porch, where we both stood there looking out over the neighborhood. I took a deep breath and took in what would likely be one of my last breaths of safe air for a long time.
Cotton put his arm over my shoulder like an old friend and said, “You got a good group there, boy. They care about one another. Now… I’m sorry about what’s happened here, and I’m sure there’s a part of you that thinks we’re just heartless for what we had to do. And maybe we are. That girl of yours really thinks you’re somethin’. I hope you find her, and I hope you’re right about this business of a cure or whatever it is. Use that radio and get to those marines, boy. I wish you the best of luck.”
He smacked me on the back and walk
ed off towards the gate. Along the way, he turned and called out, “There’s an old apartment complex about twenty miles to the southwest. We keep it clear and use it as an outpost sometimes. If she stopped to sleep, she was probably there.”
When I got back inside, JC had Lilly in his arms. She was calmed down and even smiling.
I found it to be an interesting sight that he could have something so peaceful and pure cling to his front half and something so ugly and destructive as an assault rifle strapped across his back.
JC let her down to her feet and asked, “Ready?”
I nodded and looked to Cutty. “Le’s do dis.”
Murphy scratched his head and took a quick glance around to ensure we hadn’t forgotten anything and nodded at Rebecca. She nodded back and said, “Lilly?”
Everyone looked down at Lilly as I asked her, “You ready to go, kiddo? We’re going to go get Kylee back.”
Lilly asked me, “Is Dana coming?”
I told her that Dana was going to stay and we would probably be able to say ‘good-bye’ on the way out.
Lilly squinted one eye as she weighed the situation in the dramatic fashion of a sassy five-year-old and said, “Finally… I get to kill some monsters.”
Cutty told her, “Eeeeeeasy, baby girl. One thing at a time.”
Entry 102
Cutty’s a mess. We all are, really. I can’t find a way to curb his rage, and I don’t have any desire to step in on him at the moment. He’s been in the apartment for about a half hour now, and all we could hear at first was him throwing shit around and breaking glass. Finding what was left of the body, and it wasn’t much, affects us all very deeply, but no one more than Cutty.
First of all, the apartment complex was far from clear. I can only assume that Cotton was telling the truth about them using it as an outpost and all that, because he’d never had reason to lie about anything. Frankly, why would he lie about that after setting us up so well before we left? They must not have been there for a while, though, because the place was crawling with bernies.