The laughter around the kitchen table is a good sign.
I brought steaks and we grilled out. While Felicity is far too young to man the grill, she hung with me out back while I cooked the steaks, and Jenna and Emory worked on putting together a salad and baked potatoes. She talked about the dance and how fun it was and told me about her sleepover last night at her friend’s and how they put the covers over their heads and told spooky stories and then got so scared they could hardly sleep all night.
Emory appears to have moved past some of her worries we discussed. She’s not distracted like she was on the phone last night and her smile is easy. The kiss she gave me when I walked in was meaningful, and the look in her eyes told me that all was well. Then she kissed me again and when she pulled away, the sparkling of her blue irises told me that she needed alone time with me soon, as much as I needed it with her. Our next planned overnight “date” is in two days for the team Christmas party that Dominik is throwing. It will be our first team appearance as a couple, and we know it will make a statement.
She plans on staying the night at my condo but, as per usual, it’s a school night so she’ll be out the door super early to make it home before Felicity wakes up.
“Okay, okay,” Jenna says with a superior smile. “I got one.”
“Go for it,” Emory says, looking across the table at her daughter and winking.
We all watch Jenna expectantly.
“What do you call a tree that grows in your hand?” she asks us, glancing around the table to see who will answer correctly.
I offer a ridiculous answer because I know the punchline of this joke. “An oak tree.”
Felicity groans and rolls her eyes. “That doesn’t even make sense. It’s a palm tree. Get it?”
I scratch my head and frown in confusion. “I don’t get it.”
“Palm?” Felicity says, holding her hand out and pointing to that portion of her hand. “A palm tree.”
“Oooohhhh,” I drawl, changing my expression as if the light bulb had been turned on.
My eyes drift over to Emory, and the smile on her face as she watches our interaction is serene. I glance at Jenna, and her smile seems to be knowing.
As if she had expected us to be sitting at the table together—my girlfriend, her daughter, and her sister—having a family-style dinner and telling jokes.
As if it were the most natural thing in the world.
And yeah… while it feels different because I have twenty-six years of being a certain way, it doesn’t feel uncomfortable. In fact, I feel very comfortable in this new role.
I mean, just this side of two days ago, I was filling in at a daddy/daughter dance with Felicity. I can’t help but feel light inside when I think about it. When Emory texted me that Shane hadn’t shown up and she was going to take her to the dance, there was no doubt in my mind what I was going to do.
It never occurred to me that it was the wrong move or that it could be potentially awkward. Felicity’s face lit up when she saw me and the look on Emory’s face… well, oh man. If she looked at me like that every day for the rest of my life, I’d want for nothing.
We had a blast at that dance. There was a moment that could have been weird, but it was fine. One of Felicity’s friends asked me if I was her daddy, because she had been telling all her friends about him.
I merely said, “No, I’m a gallant knight riding in to take this fair lady to the ball.”
No fucking clue where that came from but Felicity and the little girl busted out in giggles. After that, everyone called me a knight and other little girls wanted to dance with me. Felicity let them each have one dance and I had to take about thirty-second turns to give everyone a chance. Mostly though, the girls danced with each other and once the other fathers realized who I was, we sat around talking hockey.
Emory just watched, tucked over in the corner talking to Felicity’s teacher. I wasn’t even tempted to ask her to dance with me because I was there for Felicity, and I think Emory appreciated that all the more.
At the end of the night, as we were parting to go our separate ways, Felicity gave me a big hug and thanked me for being her knight. The gratitude in her voice latched onto a piece of my heart and settled in right next to the spot that Emory held.
“Okay, I have one,” I announce, ready to tell my joke. The ones I’ve been telling are nonsensical, which makes them funny. Emory, Jenna, and Felicity all watch to see what I come up with. “Two tacos were walking in the park, and one taco fell down. What did he say to the other taco?”
Felicity, perplexed but still game, asks, “What?”
I change up my voice to sound cartoonish, “Hey… I lost all my lettuce.”
There’s dead silence as everyone soaks in the fact my joke makes no sense and the punchline is about as stupid as anything can be. We all look around at one another and bust out laughing in unison.
“Oh man,” Jenna says, shaking her head. “That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“What?” I ask jokingly, holding my arms out to the side. “He lost his lettuce. That’s funny, right?”
“Tacos can’t walk,” Felicity points out with a smirk.
I mimic her tiny but cute condescending voice. “Well palm trees can’t grow on hands either.”
Felicity bursts into giggles but before any of us can join in the laughter, there’s a knock on the door.
As if a cold bucket of water had been dumped on our frivolity, everyone falls silent. The air goes tense.
There’s no good reason for anyone to be knocking on the door, and I can see by the look on both Emory and Jenna’s faces they have a good idea who it is.
Just as I do, because I think we’ve all been expecting this.
Emory stands from the table, taking the napkin from her lap and tossing it on her empty dinner plate. “I’ll get that.”
Felicity is the only one who doesn’t seem to sense the tension, but Jenna leaps into action as only a diligent aunt would do. She stands up from the table and says, “Time to get your bath, Felicity. Jett will handle cleaning the kitchen.”
“I’m on it,” I say, popping up from my chair and that seems to move Felicity into action as she mimics me.
Jenna takes her by the hand and says, “Come on, Pip. Do you want peach or strawberry scented bubble bath tonight?”
I don’t hear her answer because as I’m grabbing my plate, I glance to see Emory opening the door.
Sure as shit, Shane is standing there. I can’t tell much about his appearance by the porch light, but I am assuming he’s sober since Emory lets him in the door, but she blocks him from further entry into the living room.
His gaze moves past Emory to me and I stare right back at him, my dinner plate in hand.
When he looks back to Emory, I move to the sink and give them my back for some modicum of privacy.
I’m not sure Emory wants it though, as she doesn’t lower her voice at all. I can hear her clear as a bell when she says, “What are you doing here, Shane?”
“I came to apologize,” he says contritely. “And see Felicity. I want to explain—”
“Stop right there,” Emory hisses with such venom, a damn chill shoots up my spine. “There is no way in hell I’m letting you see Felicity. You abandoned her and I know damn well it’s because you were high and don’t you dare try to convince me otherwise.”
“I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I had a really weak moment. I wasn’t feeling so great after you told me that you had moved on. I just want to let Felicity know—”
She cuts him off icily. “There’s nothing you could say to her right now to explain that and don’t try to pin this on me moving on.”
“I have a right to see—”
“You have no fucking rights,” she snarls, and while I can’t see her face, I bet it’s contorted in fury. I stand tensed at the sink, not knowing what Shane might do but ready to act if he does something. Emory continues on. “I have full custody. You have nothing. I only let you see her ou
t of the goodness of my heart and the sincere hope that you’d stay sober, but you couldn’t do it. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her be a part of the roller coaster of pain that comes with loving you. She’s seven years old and can’t handle it.”
“So you just cut her off completely?” he asks astounded.
“No,” she replies, and her tone has leveled out a bit. “But I’m going to let the courts decide what time you can have with her and the circumstances surrounding it. I’m also going to get a therapist involved to help me navigate how in the hell I explain all of this to her. She has to be prepared for you to fail her again.”
“Doesn’t sound like you have much faith in me,” Shane says bitterly, and I have to bite the inside of my cheek so I don’t snort with laughter. The man truly doesn’t get it.
Has no clue that he’s ruined every bit of trust where Emory’s concerned.
“You need to leave,” Emory says softly, but still loud enough I can hear it as I stare down into the sink.
“And if I refuse?” he asks snidely. “If I insist on seeing Felicity to apologize?”
I have no clue what this man may or may not do. I have no clue how pissed Emory might be if I intervene.
But I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him think he can muscle his way toward his daughter when Emory has made the boundary clear.
I turn from the sink, and the movement catches his eye. His expression darkens.
“You try to take one step past where you are in an attempt to get to Felicity and I’m going to make you swallow your teeth.”
Shane’s expression turns thunderous, but he also pales under the weight of my threat. Emory stands her ground, crossing her arms over her chest and never taking her eyes off Shane to look back at me.
“Leave,” she merely says.
“Fuck you,” he growls leaning in toward her but before I can start his way, he pivots and stomps out the door, slamming it shut behind him.
In five long strides, I’m across the living room. Before she can even turn around, my hands go to her shoulders, and I feel her shaking.
“Everything okay?” Jenna asks and I look over my shoulder to see her peeking around the edge of the hallway, concern etched all over her face. She heard the door slam.
“It’s good,” I assure her and she disappears to go handle Felicity.
“Are you okay?” I ask Emory, gently turning her to face me. The expression on her face is one I’ve never seen before and it makes my stomach drop. Her blue eyes are rolling with turbulent tides of angst.
And yet at the same time, her face is slack and expressionless.
If I had to put a word on it… she looks… broken.
Without thought, I pull her into my arms and she comes willingly, but her body feels stiff and unrelenting. Her hands press against my ribs but she doesn’t hug me or cling to me for comfort. She merely accepts what I give her.
“I can’t do this,” she whispers, a shudder running through her.
“Yes you can,” I murmur, pressing my lips to the top of her head. “You sent him on his way. You have time to figure things out with your attorney, and it’s a great idea to get a therapist. It will take—”
“No,” she cuts in over me, head tipping back so our eyes meet. “I’m not sure I can do this with you.”
I blink in surprise, stunned by her words. I knew she was feeling out of sorts about the whole Shane thing. She told me she felt fragile… like paper being torn.
But I told her I was here for her.
“I’ve got your back, Emory,” I remind her. “Lean on me however you need to. I won’t let you falter.”
The smile she bestows on me causes my heart to squeeze painfully. “I know all of that. But it’s also a complication and you know me, Jett. I don’t want complications.”
“How is this complicated?” I ask, dropping my arms away from her and taking a step back so she doesn’t get a kink in her neck from looking up at me.
The addition of space between us feels cold and she crosses her arms over her chest.
“It’s just,” she starts, and then pauses as if trying to find the right words. Taking in a breath, her eyes lock onto me. “You’re so great. And Felicity is getting close to you, but Shane is such a problem for us. This is going to be a psychological upheaval to her, and me as well. And then I have a new job to deal with, and a sister I’m trying to get back into the world. It’s a lot, Jett, and there’s not much room to cut my responsibilities. I can’t let Felicity go, Shane’s not going away, Jenna is my sister, and I can’t give up my job.”
“I’m not sure where you’re going with this,” I say, but I actually do. She’s being vague where she’s normally a plain-spoken woman.
“I’m scared,” she finally admits with a sigh. “I’m scared of what you make me feel and I’m terrified of making a commitment to you. Shane pulling this shit only serves to remind me that once upon a time, he was a great guy too. It only took one accident and a pain killer addiction to change him.”
“Whoa,” I snap at her, holding a hand up. “You’re comparing me to Shane?”
“No,” she insists with her arms open to the sides in a silent appeal for me to give her a chance to explain. “I’m not comparing you at all. You’re not like him in any way because the ultimate fuel for his addiction was insecurity and low self-esteem. That’s not you and I don’t think it’s possible for you to ever let anything rule your life that way.”
“Then what’s the problem?” I ask in frustration, because none of this is making sense.
“I’m scared,” she says, an assertion she already made. “I’m scared because what I’m feeling for you is deeper than anything I’ve felt before. Deeper than anything I ever felt for Shane, and I know I have the potential to get hurt far worse.”
That catches me off guard and my breath freezes.
“I’m afraid of getting hurt again, and I’m afraid I can’t give you what you need because I’m being pulled in so many directions right now. I’m just… afraid where you’re concerned, and I can’t explain it any better than that.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I mutter, glancing away from her as I ponder her words.
“I know it sounds trite, but this isn’t you. It’s me and my insecurities. I feel out of control with you, Jett. And when my life is stable, that’s an amazing feeling and I never want to let it go. But right now, I feel ready to break into a million pieces because of Shane and how I need to get Felicity through this. And I have this irrational fear of being hurt by you, and I know that sounds ludicrous. I’m just a mess of feelings.”
“You want to break up?” I ask slowly, because I’m still confused as fuck.
She shakes her head. “No, I don’t think that’s what I want. I just want some time to handle things. To focus on Felicity and get this thing with Shane under control. I want a break, because when I’m with you, you make me forget everything else. Some would say that’s a good thing, but with you… it’s not. You’d make me forget the world and I can’t afford to do that right now.”
There’s part of what she’s saying that makes me feel good. That she feels so deeply for me, it’s become a complication.
I suppose that’s better than her not feeling nearly enough for me to keep me around.
I think.
Fuck if I know.
I’ve never had a serious girlfriend before.
“So you want a break?” I ask for clarification.
“I’m not sure,” she replies in a pained whisper.
“You want me to stay away? Not contact you?”
She nods. “I mean… I know we’ll run into each other, but…”
Her words trail off.
We’ll run into each other.
That sounds like a long fucking break to me, and I don’t like the sound of that at all.
My choices are clear. I can give her what she asks for and wait for her.
Or I can cut things off right now and be on my way,
because while I’m apparently a complication to her, she’s become a complication to me now that my heart got tied up.
I do the only thing I can do. Stepping into her, I dip my head and kiss her on the cheek. Pulling back, I look her in the eye. “You call me when you’re ready to give this a go again, okay?”
Relief floods her eyes, followed by wetness. I don’t want to see those tears drop so I give her an understanding smile and move past her to the door.
CHAPTER 26
Emory
He’s going to think I’m the absolute nuttiest woman he’s ever known and he’s going to send me packing. For all our big words and denials—how much we don’t like complication—the fact of the matter is that things have been so easy between Jett and me.
Even when things got serious.
The only complication that marred things was the one I created in my head just about two hours ago when Shane showed up at my house.
I knew I had been feeling out of sorts, all because Shane was using again and it was going to be a monster to deal with. That foreboding was pressing so heavily on me, that I was feeling a distinct lack of bandwidth to handle things in my life. I told Jett as much when we talked to each other on the phone just before his game last night.
But still, by the end of the call, he was the one I wanted to spend my extra time with. In my heart, I knew he would be nothing but good for me.
Then Shane showed up tonight and ruined our dinner.
Fucking Shane.
I would have preferred he come to my door blitzed out of his mind, but he was stone-cold sober. It wasn’t all that big of a surprise, because there are chunks of time Shane could withstand sobriety. It was usually calculated and to make an impression, so I took measure of his eyes. While bloodshot, they were focused, and I knew he was going to put on a show.
I invited him in because I knew I was safe in doing so. I knew Jenna had taken Felicity to get her bath, and Jett was a few steps away in the kitchen, I’m sure listening intently. I didn’t care what he heard.
What I did care about was letting Shane say his piece, and then being done with him. I expected his apology. I even expected him to ask to see Felicity which was a strong “no”.
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