by Ramsey Isler
We both laughed and took another sip of wine.
“And what about me?” I asked after letting the wine warm my insides. “Do you see me as a case too? Which psychological disorder do I have?”
“You,” Newton said as he tilted his plastic cup towards me, “are something of an anomaly.”
“Oh really? In what way?”
“You’re completely sane,” Newton said.
I laughed. “And that’s an anomaly?”
“Yes, sir. We live in a crazy world, so it’s expected for most of us to be a little crazy. But you’re not. You’re compassionate. You’re selfless. You’re calm. You’re fearless, but in a rational way. But you’re also blissfully self-aware. You know your limitations, and your virtues, and you’re content with all of it. You’re the most well-balanced person I know.”
“Thanks, I guess.”
“It’s what makes you so attractive, and so intimidating.”
I pointed a finger to my chest. “Me? Intimidating. You’re the one with the two hundred IQ.”
“Whatever,” Newton said and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “IQ only intimidates people who care about such things. Smarts alone don’t bring people to your cause. Charisma does that. You have a charm and cleverness that’s just disarming.”
“I’ll keep that in mind next time I get kidnapped,” I said. “Maybe I’ll be able to disarm my captors with pure charm.”
“See?” Newton said, smiling. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Quite endearing.”
“You should give yourself some credit,” I said. “You’re endearing in your own way. Why do you think I keep letting you plug me into machines?”
“Because Dominique has you by the balls,” Newton said. “And because you know my research is a means to a great end. Nothing to do with me.”
I took another sip of wine. “You sure about that?”
“Yes,” Newton said. “People say they can’t get close to me because they feel like I see right through them. They feel like I’m always analyzing. And they’re right. That’s who I am. That’s what I do. People say that they want to be understood, but I say that’s bullshit. What people want is validation, not understanding. But my mind isn’t wired that way. I’m a scientist. I’m not interested in placating prevarications. I’m only after the truth, and the truth scares the shit out of most people. People want to believe that they’re pretty when they’re actually average. They want to believe they still have a shot at being a star even though they’re past their prime. They want to believe their actions are justified, even though they’re acting out of selfishness or fear. Most people like to spend their lives avoiding the harsh truths, and it’s hard to do that when you’ve got somebody like me constantly pointing them out. But that’s what makes you so special. You don’t want that validation. You don’t give a damn. You’re fully self-aware, and comfortable with your place in the world.”
“That could just be a nightcrafter thing,” I said.
Newton nodded. “Possible, but I don’t think that’s the only factor. I’ve only seen two nightcrafters up close, but I know Madison isn’t like you. If she was, you wouldn’t have been able to push her buttons so easily.”
“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” I said.
“Modesty is also one of your charming qualities.”
“Honesty is one of yours,” I said.
“First time I’ve heard that,” Newton said. “You must be trying to flatter me.”
“Well, maybe a little bit but it’s still true. I like that you don’t tell people only what they want to hear. You speak your mind. I don’t think you could be duplicitous even if you tried. You don’t have a dishonest bone in you.”
“That’s a vice, not a virtue,” Newton said. “Sometimes I wish I could be a little more dishonest, for the sake of others. Lies of various magnitude help people cope with uncomfortable realities.”
“That’s their weakness,” I said. “Not yours. Besides, there are still those of us that prefer a hard truth to a comforting lie.”
“Here’s a hard truth,” Newton said. “I’m falling for you.”
“I know,” I said before I even knew my mouth was moving. Hadn’t meant to do that but it was out now. I could see by the look on Newton’s face that he was bracing himself to be hurt by whatever I was going to say next. I could see how vulnerable he was at that moment, how he had opened himself up to me. I could see how much he wanted me to want him. He had me, right then.
“I have feelings for you too,” I said.
Newton relaxed. All the tension went out of his face and that adorable smile of his came back. “Well, that’s very good to know. Really great. But . . .”
“But what?”
Newton sighed and stared at the little beads of wine left in his cup. “You know that it could never work, right?”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Circumstance,” Newton said. “When Dominique said you were missing, it felt like someone had poured a bucket of ice water on me. We went to your apartment and ran all sorts of tests, which didn’t really yield much. But then we got the call, the one you made in Times Square, and it was like the happiest moment of my life. It felt like a thousand Christmas mornings rolled up into one moment. I can’t afford to be that attached to you. And you certainly can’t be attached to me. These are dangerous times, for both of us. You and I have an extremely important job to do. Further emotional entanglement would only complicate that.”
“Maybe,” I said. “But once this is over—”
“You assume this will ever be over,” Newton said.
Ah, sweet irony. The clever bastard was using my own words against me. It was bitter medicine, but effective. I willed the hurt away so my voice would be steady as I said, “I hope we can at least be friends.”
“No need to hope,” he said. “We already are.”
We refilled our cups after that, and resumed our stargazing in silence. When the night breeze got too chilly we headed into the cabin and drank even more. The wine dulled our senses and coaxed us into easy relaxation. Newton produced a heavy blanket from somewhere and somehow we ended up huddling for warmth under it. In our mildly intoxicated state, his hand found mine. I grasped it lightly. Our fingers intertwined. His head rested on my shoulder. The last thought I can remember before sleep took over was that it had been a long time since I’d found someone I wanted to wake up next to.
But in the morning he wasn’t there.
* * *
After I got over the disappointment of not seeing Newton beside me, I shook off the light hangover and went looking for him. A few minutes later I found him in the basement. He had spent some time assembling the lab equipment by himself, and at the moment he was peering into some machine while holding a flat-head screwdriver in one hand and a flashlight in the other.
“You’ve been busy,” I said.
“Mhmm,” he muttered without taking his attention off his work.
“Need any help?”
“Uh uh,” Newton replied.
“O . . . kay then. I’m going to go for a run,” I said. “Will you be joining me?”
“Afraid not,” Newton said, and I was glad he used actual words. “The data from the Times Square event is troubling. I need to figure some stuff out. The nightcrafters are further ahead in the game than we thought, and we need to catch up fast.”
“I see,” I said. “I guess I’ll leave you to it then.”
“Wait,” Newton said. “There’s something I have to ask you.”
My insides did a backflip. I wondered if he would ask about last night. But instead he said, “This phasing ability that allows people to go into the Rift is a new spell, right? Nightcrafters couldn’t do this before.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding in. “As far as I know, they couldn’t.”
“So none of the nightcrafters would have that much practice with it,” Newton said. “Most of them would have to speak the word
s?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks,” Newton said. I waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t. He just kept his eyes on the equipment.
“Okay then,” I said. “I have my phone with me. Call me if you need anything.”
“If you see anyone,” Newton said, “run the other way. It’s doubtful there’s anyone out here who would recognize you, but one can never be too safe.”
“Right,” I said. I stood there for a few more seconds just to see if Newton would say anything else. But he was absorbed in his work. I realized that he was totally serious about what he said last night. We had a world to save. No time for anything else.
I left the cabin and jogged at an easy pace. It felt good to run. It felt good to be free. The air was fresh and cool and smelled like the sea. My days of captivity with the nightcrafters had been filled with sweat and fear and darkness. But this was different. I felt alive again.
The landscape here was flat and open. I ran along old dirt roads that looked like they had been created decades ago and abandoned shortly afterward. Wild grass and moss covered most of the area, but there were also spots of bare earth and rock. There were a few short and stout trees here and there, but for the most part it was all just open land under an uninterrupted sky. The wind was crisp and hit me full on, but I didn’t mind. It was a glorious day and I was glad to be able to enjoy it. I kept running.
Unfortunately, I’d never been much of an athlete. Sometime around the third mile, I started wheezing like a fat man chasing an ice cream truck. My legs and lungs burned. I bent over, placed my hands on my knees, and let the sweat pour from my forehead. I laughed. It was blissful agony.
While I gasped for air, I took a moment to observe my new surroundings. The tree line was about a quarter mile away, and it marked the beginning of a creepy forest with tall trees huddled together tightly. Their broad leaves cast deep shadows on the forest floor. In a heartbeat, I found myself transfixed by the place. There was magic here; an old magic that even people without nightcrafter training could feel. It’s that feeling that makes your stomach fluttery and the hairs on the back of your neck raise up. The place drew me in with an irresistible pull. Most people would’ve turned the other way and run like hell from that place. But I am a student of the dark. I had to see more.
The forest was dense and tricky to walk through. I didn’t see a single animal in it. No birds. No rabbits. Not even any insects. As I went deeper into the woods, the world seemed to quiet down. Even the wind stopped. I could only hear the crunches and scuffs of my feet trampling along thick roots, fallen leaves, and broken branches.
I walked for a good while, until the edge of the forest was lost far behind me. I moved along a winding path that was not marked by stones, signs, or walkways. There was some invisible string pulling me gently forward until I found what I had been unknowingly looking for.
A cave.
The cave entrance was an inconspicuous thing — just a six-foot tall hole in a grassy hill surrounded by leafy trees and shrubs. I might have walked right past it and never known it was there if I had just been using my eyes. But there was something special in the darkness that only a nightcrafter could follow. I went inside, without even a hint of fear.
The cave went on for some time. It twisted and turned so much it felt like I was walking through the insides of a giant snake. A sickly-sweet aroma tickled my nose; the smell of things decaying in the dark for years, or decades. But the cave floor was fairly smooth, and my feet weren’t caught up by bones or carcasses.
When the faint glow of daylight at the cave entrance disappeared, I kept moving forward. I opened myself to the Rift for comfort and to get a better sense of my surroundings, and I nearly fell over when I felt what the Rift was like here. It wasn’t like the fountain of power that flowed in hot spots, like that abandoned elementary school I used to train in. This was something different. Everything here felt like it had been here since time began. It’s hard to explain how I knew that. It’s kind of like how you visit an old European town and you can just feel the history there. The roads are weathered and uneven. The houses are made in a way that’s rough and unrefined. It’s kind of the same in the Rift, but instead of roads and houses there’s a different physical sensation surrounding you.
Normally, using Rift magic makes me feel like I’m swimming in a vast inky ocean. But this place gave me a strange and new feeling. When I felt the Rift-material around me it was like diving into a ball pit — those padded areas full of hollow plastic balls you see at playgrounds and play centers for kids. The stuff oozing out of the Rift here didn’t feel like liquid that I could make waves in. It was more solid here. It felt like I could just reach out and grab clumps of it.
I stayed in the cave for a good long while just so I could fully experience its unique sensations, and I wondered if other nightcrafters knew about this. Was this something that was part of the later training? Maybe Madison would know. Kellar definitely would, but I doubted we’d ever rekindle that teacher-student relationship.
My internal alarm clock reminded me that I’d been gone for too long, and pretty soon Newton would start to get suspicious. I reluctantly left the cave, and as my eyes adjusted to the light outside, I decided I would have to come back here. This place was too special to leave behind without exploring more.
Fatigue forced me to do a slow jog back to the cabin, and I ended up walking the last half mile. I was drenched in my own juices by the time I got to our lonely little temporary home. I had only been gone for a couple hours, and I figured that Newton would still be sequestered in the basement and working on his arcane studies. Sure enough, he was sitting in front of several monitors displaying a variety of readouts.
“Anything new?” I asked.
“I have a lot to figure out here,” Newton murmured.
“I have a lot of things to figure out too,” I said. “There’s some interesting magic around here.”
Only Newton’s eyes moved toward me. The rest of him stayed stock still. “Oh really?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I found a cave out in the forest. It’s got a different vibe in the Rift.”
“Anything I should be investigating?” Newton asked.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “It’s not a particularly strong area it’s just . . . different. I doubt your gadgets would help much. I just want to spend some time there. I’ll give you a full report when I get back.”
“And when will that be?”
I shrugged. “Maybe a couple days.”
“You’re going to sleep there?”
“Maybe. Might not sleep at all. I’ve done it before.”
“Okay then,” Newton said as he walked over to a tool box and retrieved a couple of items. “But take these with you.” He handed me a radio and a GPS watch.
“GPS won’t work in a cave,” I said.
“Correct,” Newton said. “But it will tell me your last position before you entered the cave. And if something unexpected happens and you are forced to leave the immediate area, I’ll know that too.”
“Worried?” I asked.
“Just taking precautions.”
I smiled. “I’ll be back in forty-eight hours, tops.”
“I’m sure you will be. And I’ll be right here waiting for you. Or coming to save your ass if you don’t show up.”
“I’ll be sure to be on time then.”
I walked into the bathroom and took a quick shower. Then I grabbed some fresh clothes and a bottle of water. I had one foot out the patio door when I heard Newton’s voice.
“Kal.”
I turned. Newton stood in the kitchen doorway, his face stoic and unreadable. “Why are you really going?”
That was a good question. Hadn’t thought about it much. “I don’t know,” I said. “It just feels like I have to. Maybe there’s a bunch of other places like it in the world, but I’ve never felt this way about anything in the Rift zone before. I have to take advantage of this while I can, e
ven if I can only enjoy it for a little while.”
Newton nodded. “I know exactly what you mean.”
I stood there for a moment and tried to think of the perfect response for that. When I couldn’t find the words, I just left. The sun was sinking below the horizon, and for the first time in a while I was eager to see what the night would bring.
* * *
There were creatures here.
They appeared about three hours after I went back into the cave. I didn’t even know they were there at first. The Rift-kind here didn’t make the kind of ripples in the Rift that I was used to. In this strange clumpy pool of Rift matter I couldn’t even detect Rift-kind until they were right next to me. But I was happy that they found me. They were beautiful.
I didn’t sense their beauty through sight. The cave was totally dark and my eyes were useless. But I could detect them through some different sense. It was like all my other senses combined into something new. I could smell, hear, and feel them all at once. I remembered something about synesthesia in a movie about an LSD addict. Synesthesia is a condition where sensation pathways in the brain get all mixed up and colors have tastes and sounds have smells. It felt like I was going through that now. For some reason, in this deep cave where the Rift had been coalescing for centuries without the faintest hint of light, I could “see” things differently.
There were Rift creatures roughly shaped like mini manta rays gliding through the air on undetectable breezes. In my mind’s eye I associated them with all sorts of sensations. They were surrounded by spots of fluorescent greens and oranges, and when I looked at them I tasted a hint of citrus in my mouth and I could hear tiny bells. The darkness was unchanged, and my eyes weren’t actually involved in this process at all. Instead, the awareness of the Rift I’d developed through my nightcrafter training was being used differently than I’d ever experienced before. It was a completely new type of sensory input, and my mind was just making the best translation it could by involving my other senses.
It was an amazing experience. All I could do was stand there and observe as the creatures went about their business. I was sure they knew I was there, as they casually veered away whenever their lazy flight paths put them on a collision course with me. But they didn’t seem to care about my presence, and I was left to study them in peace.