by E. N. Joy
Of course, now Tamarra would never consider engaging in the act of abortion, but back then, as a young girl pregnant by her own brother, who’s to say? “You ain’t been saved but a month of Sundays, so don’t you dare try to use God as a reason why you made me go through with that pregnancy. You and Daddy probably figured you’d been hiding everything else; surely you could get away with hiding my pregnancy too. Well, I guess you were right.”
“No, we were wrong, because what we failed to realize is that we couldn’t hide the child. She was here and there was nothing we could do about it, but you as her mother should have wanted—”
“I didn’t want her. I didn’t want her then and I didn’t want her when she showed up on my doorstep. I’m glad she’s gone. I’m glad she’s dea—” Before Tamarra could even finish her words, a stinging slap came her way by means of her mother’s open hand. The smack was so hard, striking part of Tamarra’s face and her mouth, that it knocked Tamarra to the ground. Her mother may have been frail and old looking, but she had a punch like Ali in his prime.
“What’s going on in here? I could hear you two all the way from the back bedroom,” Tamarra’s father roared as he entered the kitchen. Behind the swinging door were onlookers who looked too afraid to enter the ring.
Mrs. Evans stood trembling with her hands covering her face. Tamarra lay on the floor tasting the blood that was oozing from her bottom lip. Not knowing which woman to comfort first, Mr. Evans shuffled back and forth for a moment, then ran to the aid of his…
Chapter Forty
“Ah-ha! I caught you. I knew if I called your tail from a blocked number you’d pick up,” Mother Doreen spat from the other end of the phone. “You been dipping and dodging me, so since I couldn’t get a hold of you, I got a hold of Pastor.”
Deborah sighed into the receiver. She knew what that meant. If Mother Doreen had spoken to Pastor, then surely by now she knew Deborah’s plans to marry Elton.
“I hate to say it, but child, you’ve strayed. You’ve strayed from the Lord.” Mother Doreen spoke sadly, sounding disappointed.
“Mother Doreen, that’s not true. As a matter of fact, that’s the furthest thing from the truth. I haven’t missed a Sunday in church since I returned from my sabbatical.”
Mother Doreen burst out laughing. It started off low; then it got louder and louder. It was as if someone were tickling her and she couldn’t control the laughter. Deborah became frustrated.
“What’s so funny?” Deborah asked.
“You.” Mother Doreen continued to laugh for a few more seconds before she was able to calm down. “Whew, child. That was too funny. You almost sounded like a…sounded like a…”
“A what?” Deborah spat in anticipation.
“A Sunday-only Christian,” Mother Doreen said seriously, not a chuckle remaining in her voice. “Talking about you ain’t missed a Sunday in church. So what? The devil ain’t either. He’s sitting up in church every time the doors are open, so what does that say about you?”
“Well, I…” Deborah didn’t have an answer.
“Exactly. Do you think just because you show up in church every Sunday makes you close to God? Humph. How many Bible studies you been to? I mean really been to, not just going so Pastor can see your face and think you are a dedicated Christian. How many times have you really gone to get deeper into God’s Word? How many times have you cracked your Bible open in your own home in the last month?”
Now that Deborah thought about it, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d cracked open a Bible outside of the church walls. Not in the last couple months anyway. She used to read the Word daily before ever even thinking about reading or editing an author’s work. Heck, she didn’t even know where her house Bible was. The one she used at church was in her Bible bag by the door, but she couldn’t think off the top of her head where she’d last had her house Bible, or when she’d last read it.
“And I’ve talked to that little girl, what’s her name, Sister Unique. The girl says she’s been running the Singles’ Ministry without you. Guess you got better things to do on Friday nights these days. Thank God Sister Lorain will be off her sabbatical next week.”
Deborah had some reasoning for that one. “Technically, I’m not single anymore, so why should I have to be bothered by the Singles’ Ministry?”
“Bothered by it? Is that what you call doing God’s Kingdom work?” Mother Doreen was offended. “A bother?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Deborah explained.
“And what do you mean, you ain’t single? The last I checked a person was single until they said ‘I do.’ So, since you got the mindset that you ain’t single, then I hope you ain’t doing things that people who think they ain’t single do: you know, that thing that is reserved for married couples.”
Deborah was silent. She figured no reply was better than a lie.
“In the name of Jesus!” Mother Doreen belted out. “Oh, child, you’ve strayed. You’ve strayed far from God. Oh, what must the Bridegroom be thinking? When you wed Christ, you promise to love, honor, and obey, not love, honor, and stray.”
Deborah was so convicted that she felt a pain in her stomach, in her heart. She snorted back tears.
“Look, daughter,” Mother Doreen lovingly said, “I’m going to pray for you. I’m going to fast and pray that God puts up a supernatural barrier of protection around you. I don’t know all what’s going on with you, but I do know that the Elton I knew was a good man. That don’t mean he’s supposed to be your good man. But it sounds like to me you’ve made up your mind. So, I’m going to pray, pray for you both, that God blesses you both and watches over you in Jesus’ name.”
“Thank you,” was all Deborah could get out between the tears.
“So, uh, make sure you get international calling on that cell phone of yours and stay in touch. But I’ve got to go. I’ve got some praying to do. I love you, child.”
“I love you too,” Deborah said before they ended the call. She held the phone in her hands as her shoulders started to heave. She cried harder than she’d ever cried before. She didn’t even know why she was crying. She concluded that it must have been the Holy Spirit within her crying out. She’d grieved Him. She’d grieved Him bad.
“You know we’re going to miss you here at New Day,” Pastor said to Deborah as they stood in the church foyer after service. You’ve been such a blessing to us here, especially with the Singles’ Ministry.”
“Ahem!” Unique walked up on the tail end of Pastor’s statement and cleared her throat. In other words, she begged to differ.
“I know, I know, Sister Unique.” Deborah smiled. “I kind of left you hanging there, and I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, no worries.” Unique swatted the air with her hand. “We didn’t even have a meeting this month, because with Sister Tamarra being away on a family emergency, I had to be in charge of a catering affair for her that day.”
“How’s working with Sister Tamarra going anyway?” Pastor asked.
“Wonderful,” Unique replied.
“That’s good to hear,” Pastor stated.
“Actually, better than wonderful,” Unique assured Pastor. “Well, I need to go get my little angels from Children’s Church.” Unique gave Sister Deborah a hug. “I appreciate the help you did give me, though, and I’m going to miss you. But thank God Sister Lorain is back from her sabbatical. She and I can pick up where we left off.”
“You most certainly can,” Deborah said as Unique walked off, Deborah not knowing the half of where Unique and Lorain had left off. “Well, Pastor, I guess this is it.” Deborah smiled and shrugged her shoulders.
“I guess it is.” Pastor’s arms were extended wide. “You know New Day will always be home for you. No matter what. No matter what situation or condition you are in, know you can always walk through those doors anytime.” Pastor gave Deborah a knowing look that sent chills through her body.
“Yes, Pastor, I know.” She nodded, hardly able t
o even look her pastor in the eyes.
“Give Elton my love,” Pastor said, patting Deborah on the shoulder. “I’m sorry he couldn’t join you today, but I know he’s doing a lot of last minute things to make sure you guys are ready to leave the country in the morning.”
“Yes, but he sends his love to you, Pastor. And I love you too.” Deborah battled with the moisture forming in her eyes.
“Oh, go on and get out of here before I lock you in my office and make you miss your flight.”
“Okay, Pastor. Good-bye.”
“Good-bye. I’ll pray for you. I’ll be praying for you both,” Pastor said, holding back tears. It always hurt Pastor to see a member of the New Day flock about to make one of the biggest mistakes of her life, knowing all that could be done was to cover them in prayer.
“Thank you, Pastor. I’m going to need it,” Deborah said as she walked away and exited New Day, preparing herself for the days ahead.
Chapter Forty-one
“So, how was it filling in for my position while I was out this past week?” Paige asked Norman after returning to work. She hadn’t seen or talked to Norman in the last week or so. Actually, she hadn’t even thought twice about him, let alone having her head filled with nonsense fantasies about the two of them. That part of her life was over. Although it took some crazy turn of events, she now felt as though she really was living out a fantasy indeed: a real live fairy tale with her husband. No longer living in La-La Land, she’d made every fantasy she’d ever had with a man a reality, and with her own husband.
Paige realized that over the years, she might have been putting on a façade for the rest of the world about how she felt in her skin, but she couldn’t fool God. He’d shaken up her world; that was for sure. Paige wasn’t ashamed to admit that she blamed God for her diabetes, but in a good way. Had God not given Satan authority to curse her with the disease, a weapon formed against her, then she might have never come to terms with reality. God put her in a position that forced her to make the changes that allowed her to truly begin to love herself. When God’s word said that no weapon formed against her would prosper, that included diabetes. It would not prosper in her life; oh, but how life itself would prosper. She had a glow about her now, a shine that the world could see. She just had no idea that Norman would be blinded by the shine.
“Actually, I kind of liked being the man in authority,” Norman replied. He looked at her almost seductively. “Now I know how you felt being the woman in authority. And although it was nice filling in for you, I like it better when you’re in charge.” He winked then continued to look her up and down. “Have you lost weight?”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” Paige answered, a little thrown off by how strong Norman was coming on, but flattered by his compliment nonetheless. “Having diabetes has actually turned out to be a blessing. I’m losing weight. I feel good.”
“You look good.” Norman licked his lips as though he’d just eaten a piece of fried chicken.
Paige’s eyes zoomed in on Norman’s lips: his tongue slowly brushing across his top lip. She almost cringed. A couple of weeks ago she might have envisioned him looking like LL Cool J doing that, but today, she was disgusted. She shook the image from her head, bound and determined to stay on track, not to allow her mind to stray or be the cause of Norman’s mind straying to a forbidden place when it came to her.
“My health is good too. To maintain my health in the spirit realm, I continue to confess what God’s Word says about my health on a daily basis, such as the scripture Jeremiah 30:17.” She thought that throwing God into the conversation would serve as a crucifix to a vampire. But she was wrong.
“Umph, umph, umph! Well, to God be the glory,” he said.
Still bound and determined to stay on point, she said, “Yeah, and uh, there are also physical things I do along with reading and confessing and living by God’s Word. Now that it’s March and spring is practically creeping in, Blake and I have been walking every evening when he comes home from work.” Maybe mentioning Blake’s name would remind Norman that she was another man’s wife.
“I try to tell women all the time that there is nothing like a good workout with a man.” Norman winked.
Oh, goodness, Paige thought. Had she brought the beast back out in Norman? Had just a couple of weeks with harmless flirting cancelled out all she’d accomplished in changing Norman’s worldly conversations and actions with her?
“Exercise is good.” Paige still kept her thoughts and her mind on the path of righteousness. “Paul writes in 1 Timothy 4:8: For bodily exercise profiteth little… Well, my prayer is that I make the most out of that little. I mean, God, indeed, has a part to play in our health, but our part in keeping our temple healthy is just as important.”
“I hear you. And I see you too.”
It was obvious to Paige that Norman just wasn’t getting it. Perhaps she would have to start back at square one and do what she’d done originally: invite Norman to New Day so that he could witness the God in her firsthand and back off. Then again, this time, why not just nip it in the bud herself?
“Look, Norman, I really appreciate you being there for me when Blake wasn’t. You are a good friend—but that’s all. I’m sorry if I led you to think otherwise, or that I looked at you in any other way. Right now, my focus is my husband and my disease.”
It was funny to Paige, the expression that crossed Norman’s face. She assumed it had something to do with the word “disease.”
“Disease?” Norman said, looking Paige up and down, but this time with a hint of disgust, as if Paige had just told him she had an STD or something.
“Yes, Norman, what I have is a disease in my body. Diabetes is a disease.” Paige went on to school Norman a little bit about diabetes and how it was forcing both her and Blake to make a change in their lifestyle.
“I… I didn’t know diabetes was so serious,” Norman said. “You could have died. You still could if you don’t take care of yourself.”
“You’re absolutely right,” Paige confirmed. She then went on to give him a little bit more information regarding the disease. By the time she finished the conversation, Norman and Paige had said a prayer regarding her health, and he’d promised to visit New Day on the upcoming Sunday to make sure he was still in God’s good graces, so as not to be struck with a plague. Paige decided she’d wait until after he visited New Day to correct his thinking. For now, whatever it took to get him back up in church and prevent him from straying from God, so be it.
As Paige left the ticket booth, she laughed inside. Once again, her diabetes, instead of being used as a weapon against her, had allowed her to prosper in her situation with Norman. “God sure is good,” Paige said out loud to herself, “all the time!”
Chapter Forty-two
Tamarra felt as though she’d been sitting out in the shivering cold all of her life and that a warm blanket had finally been thrown over her. That’s the warmth and the comfort she’d longed to have felt. That is the warmth and comfort she felt as her father embraced her as if he were protecting her from a wild animal. That was the warmth and comfort she realized her only child had wanted from her.
Knees not as strong and as healthy as they once had been, Mr. Evans had managed to lower himself to the floor and wrap his arms around his wounded daughter. He knew that she was wounded not only on the outside, but on the inside too. He knew of those wounds she’d carried around for years, and he felt partially to blame. He hadn’t protected her as a father should have when she was a little girl. He had done what parts of society might have considered the right thing then, when it came to the sexual abuse against his own daughter by his own son. He’d kept what went on in their house in their house, but he was going to protect her now.
Tamarra, for once, felt that her father had finally—finally—come to her rescue. Not only was he protecting her from the swinging fist of his wife, but from the swinging fist of life. That huge, powerful, invisible fist had been swinging at her since she could
remember, knocking her down, and just when she’d gotten up and dusted herself off again, here came that fist to knock her down yet again. This love, this comfort, this sense of security and protection she was receiving from her father was a sort of healing balm. It was mending all her wounds.
For years Tamarra thought her father didn’t love her. Didn’t want her. He’d left her in order to be with and protect his other child. For Tamarra, that felt like a cycle she’d experienced with every man in her life. Her ex-husband left her and went off to be a family with his child. Maeyl had just recently done the same thing. It was a cycle, a curse that was being broken at that very moment in the name of Jesus.
Mr. Evans pulled himself away from Tamarra and held her at arm’s length, the two of them sitting on the floor. He stared at her for what seemed like forever as tears rolled down his face. He shook his head in awe at what a beautiful daughter he had. He allowed his imagination to wander back to him, sitting there holding his crying daughter and comforting her the day she told him and his wife about what her brother had done to her. But he hadn’t. Instead, he’d just walked away, went off to his bedroom to think of a quick fix to the situation without his son having to go to jail and without too much shame and embarrassment coming to the family. An hour later, he came up with the entire charade of him and his wife faking a divorce. At the time, it had felt like the right decision; of course, at the time, they hadn’t known Tamarra was pregnant. The goal was to just separate brother and sister.
Upon finding out a couple months later that Tamarra was pregnant, he knew it had been the wrong decision. His actions had separated him from his daughter, and although they eventually ended up moving back into the same home together, their relationship remained severed.