But that’s okay, worry about all that tomorrow, she told herself but the frustrations were still there, churning away no matter how hard she tried to repress them as she continued placing the photos in the album.
Despite her best efforts, the smile slowly started to slip from her face.
THE FILMMAKERS
Jacob was uncomfortable as he fidgeted on the couch. Both with the images on the screen and also his reaction to them: the bulging erection was hot against his thigh and he could only pray it wasn’t visible from where his elder brother Michael sat perched at the opposite end. His cheeks felt hot and he knew he was blushing furiously but he couldn’t stop himself. This was a good part.
No violence and a lot of skin.
‘Enjoying the show, little bro?’
His brother snapped his eyes around and Jacob quickly looked back to the screen as he croaked out an affirmative reply. His voice sounded strange in his ears; all high pitched and cracking and he couldn’t stop himself from glancing back at his brother, hoping he hadn’t noticed. He relaxed as Michael cracked open another of the beers he’d nicked from their dad’s fridge, his eyes riveted to the television. Relieved, Jacob followed his gaze and winced as he saw the scene had changed. Now, instead of the shot showing the girl raising the hem of her dress, the frame showed one of the boys urinating in her hair. Jacob looked away quickly; he didn’t want to see that.
His brother’s cheeks were flushed when Jacob’s eyes, seeking something other than the onscreen antics, turned back to him. The beer stood, forgotten, half-raised to his lips as his eyes drank it all in. Jacob had noticed this trend throughout the three videos his brother had shown him. His brother would maintain a blasé attitude toward the nudity and sex acts – that time the thirteen year old had given a blowjob had almost made Jacob cream his pants – but when the heavier stuff started: the beatings, the humiliations, the girl’s hair being set on fire; it was like his brother transformed into a different person. One that made Jacob feel very uncomfortable.
Once he’d even seen an erection bulging his brother’s shorts as he’d watched the young girl in the circle of boys being pushed to and fro, slapped and pinched, until she was just a shattered wreck, sobbing in the fetal position on the ground.
Jacob deliberately didn’t look down now. If it was there, he didn’t want to know about it. Instead he focused on his brother’s beer and wondered if maybe he should have one this time. After all, his father was usually too pissed when he got home to notice there were fewer beers than before. Jacob just guessed that his father assumed he’d drunk them himself. Michael usually offered him one on his nightly raiding of the fridge but so far Jacob had never built up the courage. He couldn’t shake the feeling that his dad would just happen to march in unexpectedly when he had a can raised to his lips.
It would be just his luck.
He’d seen his father angry before: at the footy, at the news, at the women they saw passing in the street. It wasn’t something he cared to draw toward himself. And it was impossible to predict when he’d decide to return from the pub. It was Jacob’s experience that the time varied greatly: anywhere from seven till four in the morning. Jacob wished he had his brother’s courage on that point. The fear of being caught seemed not to concern him at all.
Probably why he’s Mr. Popular and I’m just…
Jacob’s thought cut off abruptly as Michael jumped from the couch, his gangly limbs in motion as he moved towards the television. Jacob quickly whipped back and was greeted by a close up of the girl, her hair matted down by urine, as one of the boys slowly drew a razor blade down her face. Jacob’s hard-on wilted instantly at the sight. Although garbled and distorted by the poor sound quality, the girl’s screams were all too real and Jacob’s mouth dropped open as a sick churning began in the pit of his stomach.
‘Mikey?’ he stammered.
His brother wasn’t listening. His eyes locked on the screen, he stooped closer, until his face was almost touching it, blocking the view. Jacob was thankful for that at least; he only wished the volume would disappear as well. The girl’s screams were building to a crescendo, leaving Jacob in little doubt something horrible was happening to her.
‘Mikey?’ he tried again, but his voice fell away into a mumble as he heard the sound of a zipper being opened and saw Michael’s shoulder begin to jiggle. Jacob traced down his brother’s arm to where it stretched around his front, confused by his actions. Then it dawned on him what Michael was doing and Jacob just didn’t know what to think. This wasn’t like the other ones. The violence of those had been troubling for him but this was different. This time there was blood. A strange lump had formed in Jacob’s throat and it was making it difficult to breathe and even though he knew he should get up and leave, he couldn’t bring himself to move. What if Mikey saw him? He could just hear his taunts now. Chicken, bwack, bwack, bwack. He couldn’t stand the thought of his brother calling him a coward.
Michael groaned from where he sat hunched in front of the television screen and his body went suddenly still. Fucking hell, Jacob thought, he jacked off to that? Without a word, his brother rose to his feet and Jacob caught a quick glimpse of his slimy penis as he tucked it back into his pants. He ejected the DVD and turned, glancing briefly at Jacob, before stalking out of the room, DVD in hand. Jacob sat in shocked silence. In that brief moment, with his cheeks flaming and that glint in his eye, Michael had not seemed like his brother at all.
He stared after him for a moment, his heart thudding as he swallowed nervously and then slowly looked from the door back to the television. Michael’s half empty beer stood propped on top of it and the screen now only showed a blue background with the CoNIS brand affixed in its centre. It wasn’t the logo he was looking at though; it was the spatters that flecked the screen: the ropes of jizz that slowly eased their way towards the bottom.
He sat watching his brother’s sperm ooze for a moment before he stood up to fetch a cloth. After all, who knew when dad would decide to make an appearance? He couldn’t even imagine what the old man’s reaction would be to the current scene.
As he made his way toward the kitchen, Jacob told himself that he was doing this for his brother. That he didn’t want to see him get in any trouble. But underneath the thought lay another that was really too disturbing to focus on; the reason why he didn’t tell on Michael the first time he’d caught him watching one of his films. Although Jacob didn’t like the violence; he did like the girls that starred in the films. He liked seeing them naked and he liked seeing them touched too; not beaten, just touched. And for once he wished Michael would leave a DVD after he had shown him. Jacob would always hurry to his room to jack off afterwards but just once he’d like to wank while he watched one. Maybe he could now though. After all, his brother had got that particular ball rolling…
Although he doubted he’d be wanking today.
That final scene had somewhat obliterated the urge.
* * * * *
They called themselves The Filmmakers and all this started out innocently enough: filming stunts they did on their bikes and boards, filming themselves being fools and joking around, making the odd, horrible short film but primarily just filming themselves on their regular drinking expeditions down at the Claypits, the series of clearings that were left by the clay mining operation that stretched from the highway out through the Whipstick forest. Just eight friends, all male, all late teens, bored with life in the small town of Muirtly. Just fifteen minutes from the admittedly less than thriving metropolis of Bendigo, it was a quiet place: population three hundred, a pub, a general store and a fish and chips shop its entire CBD.
They were essentially carbon-copies of each other. All desperate to rebel and claim their individualism but defeating that purpose with their equally desperate adherence to the latest fashions and brand names. All attended the same school, Epsom High, a short bus trip away. All were of average to high intelligence but insisted on swamping their minds with excessive data abo
ut the latest musicians and television shows, comic books and other crap; anything to avoid facing up to the reality of the world. You know the sort. The kind that think politics are pointless despite the fact it decided the future of their country. Cloaking themselves up in the mantle of angst to avoid failing by just not trying in the first place.
I know all this because I know the Filmmakers well. I have been watching them for a long time now and I have finally run out of patience. I’ve seen them on their drunken outings, breaking things just because they could, getting into fights because they claimed they were bored. That it isn’t their fault; there’s just nothing to do in this town. Obviously the idea of opening a book has never occurred to them. Nor any of the constructive arts: paint some, draw some, build something, fucking knit if you have to – just don’t tell me you’re bored when there were so many options you haven’t pursued…
Anyway, back to the point at hand. The Filmmakers were heading towards a fall. I knew it was coming but even I – in my infinite wisdom - couldn’t have foreseen how quick they’d degenerate. It’s hard to pinpoint the exact start of their decline but as far as I can tell it all began to change when Steven killed that dog for whatever fucking reason he had. To be honest, I know for a fact he had no reason. He was just bored and wanted to see what would happen. He even muzzled the thing first – a true sign of cowardice if I’ve ever seen one; didn’t even give it a fighting chance.
He staked it down out in the fifth Claypit, right near the big dam and set to work. Michael manned the camera, while the other boys ringed the beast. I must give them this: the majority of the boys were hesitant. Well at least to start with. They didn’t hesitate long once Steven threw the first rock though. It struck the dog dead in the centre of the head and it went down with a strangled whimper. The poor mutt was dead long before the other boys started lobbing their rocks but they didn’t let that stop them. They kept hurling them until the dog was little more than a mess of pulp on the ground.
And I had to watch it all.
I can tell you I seethed with anger. But I held back. It’s a real problem of mine you see. I only really want to see the best in people.
You’d think by now I would know better.
It only got worse from there. It became apparent that the boys had gotten a taste for the sadistic. For awhile they contented themselves with a few more dogs and a litter of kittens but apparently that wasn’t enough to sate them. It was Matthew that suggested they take it further. It was also Matthew who arranged it all with the retard they went to school with. It was sickening to watch. The way the boy went about gaining her trust. Buying her little gifts and letting her hang around during lunchtime. Telling her she was his special friend and that they would be together forever. The elaborate setup was what frightened me the most. Especially when you consider all he’d really had to say to her was turn up here at this time and the poor girl would have been there. There was something of the ritual about how that boy lured her onto the bus and over to Bobby’s parents’ property.
And that was where the humiliations had started. The poor girl had been expecting to meet the love of her life for a romantic interlude. Instead she found herself surrounded by eight boys with wickedness on their minds. They teased her. They slapped her. And they made her expose herself. Then they set fire to her hair and pissed on it to put it out. And I was forced to watch all of it.
I had to watch it all.
Watch how The Filmmakers left her in the big shed down the bottom paddock of the property while they walked off to play their latest computer game. Watch them laughing and joking and giving each other high fives while she lay there sobbing.
Eventually she dragged herself to her feet and was picked up four hours later by a friend of the family as she trudged down the highway in the opposite direction to her house. She was never persuaded to tell what had happened to her and she never returned to school. But the worst bit is: I can see her future now and I can see how this event changed things and that just makes me even angrier.
At the time I knew the boys had well and truly overstepped the bounds of decency but I also knew if I acted in the mood I was currently in then I would almost certainly do something I’d later regret. So I gave myself a few days to cool off, to allow myself some perspective.
It was a mistake. I admit it.
The boys used the respite to up the ante once more.
A DVD of the assault began making the rounds of Epsom high school. Sold for five dollars a piece, it showed in graphic detail the girl’s trauma and almost overnight became required watching for the cool kids. I must admit I was unprepared for the sheer number of people who looked on it as a joke. Something to giggle at. The sick fucks.
After the latest provocation, I couldn’t wait any longer so I decided to act. Nothing over the top – as I’m sometimes prone to do – but I acted nonetheless. At least I can say that…
* * * * *
Jacob laid in bed, his thoughts whirling, conflicting desires waging war inside. The DVD’s were getting worse. Getting more violent and he was torn between his conscience that was telling him to tell someone: his father, a teacher, the police, anyone; and his loyalty to his brother. But underneath that to and fro, a far more disturbing desire lurked: and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, it just wouldn’t go away. It was the voice telling him not to dob so he could see more naked girls and it made him feel so fucking disgusted with himself.
He knew he was a geeky looking kid. A mélange of carrot top hair, a rounded face and freckles interspersed with just budding pimples. He’d never even kissed a girl before and didn’t like the chances of doing it in the near future. He knew the girls at school thought he was a joke. The fat red-head that only incited mirth. Where else would he ever see a pussy except on the video?
Besides what good would it do to tell? Nothing had happened when the DVD had been discovered circulating the school and that had been months ago. Despite the shoddy camera work a couple of the boys involved had been identified. Jacob still saw them around. As far as he was aware, the police hadn’t even charged them.
So what was the point of saying anything? The cops had already been out to interview Michael on suspicion of being involved in the DVD’s distribution but he had denied it and his father had told them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves. He’d been fairly wasted at the time and, although Jacob was fairly certain that the cops didn’t believe his brother’s story, they hadn’t returned. Not even when the other girl had disappeared.
Why would it be any different this time?
Jacob didn’t know what to do and every time he tried to get it straight in his head, his mind kept drifting back to the girl from the DVD that afternoon. He didn’t know her name but he had seen her around school. She was a year older than him and Jacob thought she was the prettiest one so far. Not beautiful but pretty nonetheless.
The way, at the start of the film, she’d danced around between the boys, her underwear around her ankles, flashing herself at them. Before it had started to get heavy, she’d looked like she’d almost been enjoying herself. Jacob’s penis stirred to life as he remembered the way she’d laid back, her legs raised to the sky, the pink lips parting slightly as her thighs spread. He didn’t even notice he was masturbating until his sperm splashed hotly on his stomach.
But once he’d cum though it was a different story. The images that had followed the good bit came rushing in.
They had ringed her and began to poke, prod and tickle her. It hadn’t been too bad at the start but then one of the boys had reached down and pinched at her flaps until she squealed. It had been the signal for it to degenerate. She laughed along with the others – who thought it was hilarious – but you could see that something had changed in her eyes. That fear had begun to set in. She’d been reluctant to show her pussy again but the boys had bullied her into it. Then three of them had held her down while a fourth had urinated in her hair. Jacob felt physically ill as that image flooded h
is mind. The piss pouring down her face as she struggled to free herself, desperate to scream but knowing she’d end up with a mouthful if she did. And then the cutting had started…
Sleep didn’t come easily for Jacob that night.
And the next morning things weren’t made any easier.
* * * * *
I think I was in denial for a long time after my original plan didn’t work. It’s the only excuse I can come up with. Sounds like crap I know but it’s the only reason I can justify why I allowed it to continue for so long. I just couldn’t believe they got away with it. Even after I made sure the video fell into appropriate hands. I mean, some of their faces were on it for fuck’s sake. It just didn’t seem possible.
But no, the parents of the girl seemed more ashamed of her than anything. They didn’t want a fuss made and didn’t press charges. They left town soon after and The Filmmakers… well it didn’t faze them at all. They just got more careful. They started wearing masks for one thing. They also stopped selling the DVDs at school. Now it was just for them. For their own personal amusement and edification.
The next girl was nine and those boys pretty much ruined her for life. No one should have to see what I saw that day. I mean one of them even tried to force his cock into her. It was just fortunate it wouldn’t fit but unfortunately he made up for that by wanking himself until he came right in her sweet little face. She was almost paralytic with shock at that point and didn’t even seem to notice it.
They dumped her body further from home too. Another sign of their caution. I can’t imagine what the girl’s thoughts were when she woke up in the Claypits – almost at the exact location where they stoned that first dog. Her feelings when she tried to stand and the pain ripped through her body. Surely they couldn’t get away with this, I told myself. It’s just not possible.
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