by Donna Alward
Jack touched her sleeve.
“Come on. Let’s sit and have a break.”
She followed him to a ridge of large boulders. Some were high and round, not good for sitting, but a few were large and flatter on the top. With quick fingers he undid their snowshoes and then offered her a hand up.
“Isn’t it weird that these rocks are just...here? In the middle of your field?”
He laughed. “They’re called glacial erratics. Material left behind from the glacier that formed this valley millions of years ago.”
“It’s hard to imagine this place that long ago, isn’t it?”
He shrugged. “Things change over time. Nothing ever stays the same. But while it changes, it somehow stays the same, too. It’s one of the things I like about here. It’s...constant. There’s a permanence to it I like.”
He slid a pack off his back. “And now, as a reward for your novice snowshoeing efforts, I have a treat.” He undid the zip and pulled out a thermos. “Hot chocolate.”
“Oh, that’s perfect!” Amy leaned back on her hands and stretched, realizing that her feet felt strangely weightless without the shoes strapped on. The rich scent of chocolate wafted in the air and she accepted the cup gratefully. It was still piping hot, and she sipped it, cupping both hands around the steel mug.
“That’s not all.” He took out a paper-wrapped package. “Cookies. I grabbed them while we were in town and you were at the post office.”
She reached into the bag and pulled out a huge chocolate chip cookie. The first bite was heaven; buttery and chewy and loaded with chocolate chunks.
“I shouldn’t eat cookies,” she sighed, taking another bite and washing it down with the hot chocolate.
“With all the calories you’re burning this afternoon, you can get away with it.”
“You bring your clients here?” she asked, breathing deeply. The rest and the refreshments were just the thing to prepare her for the return journey. Maybe she could have done a lot more work, but feeding the birds and sitting on an old rock with Jack Shepard was a darned nice way to spend a few hours.
“Yes. Sometimes just some physical exercise and wide-open space does wonders. No one ever has trouble sleeping when they stay at Aspen Valley. As I mentioned, in the summer we hike it or trail-ride, and it’s an easy afternoon activity. In the winter it’s snowshoeing.” He bit into his own cookie. “I love it here. Stress just seems to melt away. Stress is very small compared to something this big, you know?”
“And were you stressed, Jack?”
He brushed off his hands. “Very. First there was leaving my Olympic dreams behind. And then...well, starting up a new business, then expanding it, took a lot of hours. A lot of agonizing over decisions and money. It was one of my distributors who invited me out here for a few days of R & R. After the third day, I never wanted to leave.”
“It suits you. Far better than the confident-businessman image.”
“You’re not the first to say that.”
She wondered who else. And if that person were male or female.
“So why stick with sporting goods?”
“It’s a big company. Hard to walk away from. I mean, this place is great and right now it’s self-sustaining, but it’s not a big income earner. Besides, I do still enjoy it. If I can do both, why not?”
“Doesn’t leave you much time for a personal life.”
“That hasn’t exactly been a priority.”
“Do you want to talk about her?”
He balled up the paper bag and shoved it in the pack. “Who?”
“The woman who broke your heart. It was the same year as you hurt your knee, wasn’t it?”
His eyebrows shot up. “That was a long time ago.” He made it sound like it barely deserved mentioning.
But he’d brought it up earlier. He’d lost the woman he loved and his dreams all in one shot. His safety net, as he’d put it. It was important.
“Doesn’t really matter when it was, does it? You still got stomped on.”
His gaze darted away and he stared out over the hills. “I was young and naive. I was a different person back then.”
“Wow, she must have really done a number on you.”
“I was the one who fooled myself into thinking it was more than it was. That it would somehow work out.”
Boy, could Amy relate to that. Her one and only relationship had been so short-lived. She’d thought he was wonderful and cared about her the same way. But it had exemplified the cliché of a May–September romance. He’d worked an internship that summer with a local vet before going back to school in the fall. Going back to school and conveniently forgetting all about her.
“When I was nineteen, I met a guy. Terry was working the summer with a local large-animal vet. We spent the whole summer together. He had one year left...one year where we’d have to deal with a long-distance romance. I was game for it. He was my first serious relationship.”
“What happened?”
“He went back to school. We had a few phone calls. He emailed me once, but then changed his address because everything came back undeliverable.” She shrugged. “So, clearly not as serious as I believed.”
“You never heard from him again?”
She shook her head and nudged his arm. “Your turn.”
He was quiet for a long moment. “Oh, hell,” he finally said, irritation plain in his voice. “It was all over the papers. You probably know the whole story.”
She laughed. “Like you can rely on the papers for the truth.”
“In this case, they weren’t far off. I had an affair with my coach’s wife.” He frowned. “When you’re nineteen, twenty, everything’s an adventure. Risk is a thrill, a game. I was full of myself. Was sure we could keep it a secret.... That I was invincible. That I could fix everything. Bulletproof.”
There was a long sigh. “I just wanted to get through the season by keeping it quiet. Then we could go public. I would get another coach and we would be together....”
He zipped up the pack and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You weren’t the only one who was naive and trusting. The risk was the thrill. But the feelings...they were real. More real than anyone would believe.”
“Including her?”
“Especially her.”
The sun dipped behind a cloud and the wind shifted, bringing a bitter edge. “We should get back,” he suggested, pushing himself off the rock. “Come on, I’ll help you get strapped in again.”
The carefree mood of earlier was gone. Instead they both seemed more introspective on the hike back through the woods to the ranch house. The forest protected them from the wind once they were back within its shelter, and they passed the spot where they’d fed the birds only an hour earlier. Only a few peanut crumbs remained as they pushed on. As they neared the farmyard, Amy became aware that the afternoon was waning. Dark would soon be upon them. Winter days were short. The light was fleeting and Amy had the strange desire to hang on to every bit of sunlight she could.
To make the most of each day.
Jack had slowed his pace to accommodate hers, and once they were back by the house he quickly undid his snowshoes and then moved to help with hers. She was already kneeling in the snow working on her straps when he dropped to his knee beside her.
“I can manage, Jack.”
“Four hands are faster than two. Are you cold?”
Her nose and cheeks were cold and her toes were feeling slightly chilled, but the rest of her was sweating from the exertion. “Not really. My heart rate kept the blood pumping.”
He slid the last strap from the buckle. “You go on inside, and I’ll put this stuff away.”
“See you in a few minutes.”
She went inside the warm house and shrugged off her
coat and ski pants, leaving her boots on the mat and hanging the rest on hangers in the closet. She went to the kitchen for a drink and saw Jack through the window, carrying the snowshoes to a shed between the house and the barn. She sipped on her glass of water and thought back over the afternoon. The easy way she and Jack had been together, the way they’d laughed while feeding the birds, the thrill that had raced through her at the touch of his hands lifting her up out of the snow.
When they’d first started drinking hot chocolate on the boulder in the field, she’d had a quick thought that maybe he’d kiss her again.
But the conversation had turned serious. Smooth, confident, charismatic Jack had disappeared. Instead he’d let down the walls of charm and self-assurance and she got the feeling she’d had a glimpse of the real Jack Shepard. A man who wasn’t as ruthless as his reputation indicated. A man who could break hearts but who had also had his broken.
A man she had more in common with than she’d first thought.
She thought back to what he’d said over breakfast. If you’re looking for forever, Amy, say no right now. Because I’m not your guy.
She wasn’t looking for forever. Not even close. The man she married would have to adore her. He’d have to want to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him. He’d have to respect her dreams and wishes and not just expect her to follow along with his.
She was starting to seriously doubt such a paragon existed.
And Jack was right here. Available. Maybe only for a few weeks. And she wasn’t going to fall in love with him. But dammit, it was good to feel like someone saw beneath the surface. That someone understood even a little bit.
Jack shut the door to the shed and started walking back to the house, his long stride eating up the ground, his shoulders hunched against the cold.
The big question was, could she have her few weeks of fun and walk away unscathed? Or should she keep it professional and not take a risk?
* * *
BY MIDMORNING JACK could see that Amy was stressed out.
“I never should have taken yesterday afternoon off,” she lamented, glasses pushed up her nose as she stared at the computer. “Okay, so the flight comes into the airport at three o’clock and you’re meeting it. But there are ten people coming. How are they all getting back here?”
“I have an eight-passenger van in the garage. The SUV seats four more plus the driver. Miguel’s taking the passenger van. We’ve got it covered, Amy. We’ll be back here in time for registration and refreshments, and dinner at seven.”
“Right. And the chef arrives this afternoon.”
“See?” He wasn’t the least bit nervous. He’d been through this tons of times before. It was all very relaxed and she’d see that in time.
“I still have to ready the rooms for everyone....”
“You are going to do fine,” he said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder.
He shouldn’t have touched her. She was already wound up tight as a spring, and her muscles tensed beneath his fingers. He supposed he should be relieved that she was taking this all so seriously. And yet...he’d been distinctly disappointed when she’d claimed fatigue last night, and had disappeared for a bath and bed.
He should never have said anything about Sheila. Talk about a mood killer.... Plus he knew what it said about him that he’d fallen for a married woman. Even though things weren’t as black-and-white as they seemed to the casual observer, putting himself in the middle of that volatile situation had been wrong.
He knew exactly what Amy meant when she said people had long memories. Even if he’d changed, he would never live that down. Never forgive himself....
He slid his hand off her shoulder and stepped back. “I’ll let you get to it. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“The activity tomorrow. Do we need a waiver for that?”
“No. That’s covered by the company running it.”
“Okay. And New Year’s Eve...”
Right. He’d forgotten that the group would be here that night. They should have something special. Food and drinks. Music. Party hats.
“Damn. I totally forgot. I’ll handle it, Amy.”
“You mean between horseback rides and dogsledding and skiing and anything else you’ve got planned?”
“It shouldn’t be left up to you.”
She let out a huge sigh. “One thing at a time. I need to make a list, and then stick to it. Jack, if you can make sure that the spare outerwear is organized that would be great. Just in case people forget mittens, ski pants, that sort of thing. I’ll get the rooms ready and show the chef around when he arrives. Plan for drinks and snacks at five.”
She got out a pad of paper and began jotting down items. As he watched, the list got longer and longer until it was nearly to the bottom of the notepad.
Then she began numbering them—in order of priority.
She wasn’t kidding. She didn’t look the type, but the girl was super organized. He wondered how she reacted when a monkey wrench got thrown into the situation. Cool control, or did her well-ordered plan fall to pieces?
“Take a breath,” he commanded, and turned her chair so she was facing away from the desk and looking up at him instead. “Relax. Everything will get done.”
She bit down on her lip. He couldn’t help it; his gaze dropped to where the pink fullness was pressed by her teeth. He forced himself to look away and found himself staring into her eyes. It wasn’t just the volume of work she was unsure about, was it? There was something more at work.
“What’s really making you nervous?” he asked. He braced his hands on the arms of the chair, making it impossible for her to duck away. “What are you truly worried about?”
“You’re wasting time, Jack, and I have work to do.”
“You’ve got lots of time. I’d like an answer.” He kneeled down a bit so their eyes were level. “I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s really freaking you out.”
There was a long pause as she considered. A long pause in which their gazes held and she seemed to be testing him—though for what, he wasn’t sure.
“What if they don’t like me?”
She put her feet flat on the floor and pushed, sliding the rolling chair out of his grasp. “Oh, man, that sounds so stupid outside my head.”
“That’s what you’re worried about? But that’s silly. You’re one of the most likable people I’ve ever met. You’re very good with people.”
“But this is different. This group who is arriving...they’re executives from some Fortune 500 company and I’m used to flower arrangements for Joe down the road who doesn’t know an orchid from an alstroemeria.”
Ah. He got it now. “Amy Wilson, you are just as good as anyone who walks through that door. Don’t let a title or a bank balance intimidate you. Underneath we’re all people. And the measure of a person has little to do with what name is on their door or the size of their 401(k).”
“Easy for you to say. You are one of those people.”
He frowned. Was this why she kept backing off each time they got close? Because she was intimidated by his...his what? His success? His bank account? Sure, he’d worked hard and he was used to fine things when he wanted them. Like the chartered jet. Like the luxury SUV in the driveway. But that wasn’t all he was. Not when you got beneath the surface.
Except that was generally off-limits. On purpose.
The problem with Amy Wilson was that he really couldn’t figure her out at all. She could flirt like a champ but he got the impression she was more innocent than she appeared. She was extremely personable and yet insecure, very capable but also unsure of her abilities.
“Look,” he said quietly, “this place—Aspen Valley—it’s about stripping away all the superficial layers and leveling the playing field. No one is more importan
t than anyone else. I don’t want to hear another word about you feeling inferior, you got that? You’re as good as the rest of ’em. And they are going to love you. All you have to do is smile your beautiful smile and you’ll have them in the palm of your hand.”
“Like I have you?” she asked, skepticism rife in her voice.
“Like you have me,” he confirmed.
“Jack...”
“Why’d you disappear last night?” he asked. He hadn’t been planning to. He’d told himself to let it go.
“Because I had to think. I needed time to think about whether or not I can walk away from this in a few weeks and be okay. I meant what I said at breakfast. I should keep my distance now.”
“So you were avoiding me.”
She smiled, just a little. “I had a glass of wine and a hot bath and a good night’s sleep, which was just what the doctor ordered.”
“And did you come to any conclusions?”
“I didn’t. I like you, Jack. I like you a lot. And everything you said yesterday made perfect sense. You were honest and I appreciate that. Clearly there’s something between us. But taking that sensible approach and applying it to reality...that’s where I’m struggling. And until I know for sure, I’m going to play it safe.” She looked down. “I’m not a risk taker, Jack. I like to pretend I am, but I’m really not. If I were, I wouldn’t be where I am in my life.”
Jack stared down at her. Wisdom. He hadn’t expected wisdom from her. With her hair up in a little twist and her glasses perched on the bridge of her nose, she looked beautiful, and smart, and irresistible.
He stood, keeping his hands on the arms of her chair. Then he leaned forward and touched his lips to hers. She responded, not with the flame of passion but with a soft sigh that affected nearly the same result. God, she was sweet. Sweeter than she realized. Sweeter than he deserved for sure.
“The ball’s in your court,” he said, though it pained him to say it. He was used to going after what he wanted and getting it and the hell with whatever stood in his way. He wasn’t the kind to step back and wait for opportunity to come to him. But this wasn’t business. And she wasn’t the usual type that hung around waiting for their chance. He could see right through those types. Amy was different, and he felt the need to be careful with her.