by Donna Alward
Callum barked out a laugh. “And she turned it down. I like her already.”
“She’s so determined. She was stuck in a rut here for a long time, but when she made up her mind...boy, there was no changing it.”
He realized something about Amy then. Every move she made was deliberately chosen. Even if she moved quickly, as she did with offering to go to Montana, she did it on purpose. Her offer to help. Her insistence that they keep things platonic. And then reversing that decision to be with him. They hadn’t fallen into each other’s arms by accident. She had chosen to. Knowing all along there was no future for them. She’d taken a risk. She’d shared herself with him and he’d handed it back to her as if it had meant nothing when in truth it was everything.
“I’ve been very, very stupid,” he said in a low voice.
“You wouldn’t be the first,” Callum said. “But I’m pretty sure you can make things right. I saw the way she looked at you at Christmastime.”
“I messed it up big-time....”
“Well, then, you’ve got nothing to lose.” Callum nodded. “As it stands now, you’ve already lost her. It won’t get worse. But it could sure get better. If you’ve got the balls.”
Jack punched Callum on the shoulder, and Callum’s breath came out in an “oof.”
“You got this?”
“Get out of here. Your romantic woes are annoying my cows. Happy cows give more milk.” Callum’s grin was sideways as he teased his brother.
“Thanks, Callum.”
“Let me know how it turns out. There’s a bottle of Scotch hidden in the feed room for emergencies.”
Jack gave one parting grin before heading out of the milking parlor. He was halfway back to town before he realized he was still wearing Callum’s boots and jacket.
* * *
AMY PARED THE last potato and put it in the pot for supper. She rinsed the vegetables, put fresh water on them and set them on the burner. All the while she saw Jack’s face in her mind, the anguished expression and tortured look in his eyes as he told her about that day so long ago that had shaped everything he’d done since then.
He was so afraid.
She was this close to going after him. To throwing caution to the wind and taking a chance. Maybe that was what he needed—someone to believe in him. To stick by him. To trust him the way that Sheila never had.
Then again, was she any better? She was sitting here at home for the same reason—because she was waiting for someone to care enough to fight for her. To be in it for the long haul. Boy, they were quite a pair, weren’t they?
Mary reached into the cupboard and took out plates and glasses. “You okay?”
“Fine,” she answered quietly. It was the third time Mary had asked since arriving home to find Jack gone.
There was a knock on the door.
“I’ll get it,” Amy said. At the first knock her heart had jumped and she’d beaten down the automatic hope that sprung up. Jack was gone. She would have to move on.
She opened the door and there he was, in a fleece-lined old denim jacket with a frayed collar and rubber boots. The scent of cows wafted in ahead of him.
“Jack?”
“Can we talk?”
“I was just getting supper.”
“Please, Amy. I said stuff this afternoon... There were things I should have said....” He ran his hand over his hair, leaving the curling strands a little on end. “Please.”
“Do you want to come in?”
“I thought we could go for a drive. I won’t keep you long.”
He looked so hopeful she couldn’t say no. And that was the problem. It was so hard to say no to Jack, and being around him only made her heart hurt more.
“Let me tell my mom and get a coat.”
Mary simply smiled and said she’d save Amy a plate. Amy went to the closet and got boots and a coat and within a couple of minutes found herself in Jack’s car as they made their way north.
“Where are we going?”
Jack kept his eyes on the road. “To the new place. I want to show you something.”
Her stomach flip-flopped nervously. Was he going to try to change her mind about the job? It was a good offer, she knew that. And it had been considerate, knowing she wanted to stay close to her mom. If it weren’t for her pesky feelings for him it would be perfect.
But she couldn’t get past the idea of Jack being her boss. Being close enough to touch but off-limits.
“Where did you go after you left my place?”
He smiled a little. “Can’t you tell? I was at Callum’s. I was halfway back to your house before I realized I still had his stuff on. I was helping him with the milking.”
“I thought I smelled eau de Cow.”
“Sorry.”
She laughed a little. “It’s a ranching community. You get used to animal smells.”
They left town limits and turned onto a service road, past Cooper Ford’s sprawling horse ranch until she saw a lane with a Realtor sign still at the end by the road. Jack’s headlights swooped across it as he turned in the driveway. The lane climbed a little until the house came into view at the top of a knoll. Rolling hills were dark shadows in the early evening light, the days so short now in the depths of winter.
The house itself was a large, sprawling log-cabin style with big windows facing northeast. Beyond it was a huge but vacant barn and several outbuildings. All of them empty and lonely-looking.
“What did you want to show me, Jack?”
She turned to him, his face lit by nothing more than the dashboard lights. It reminded her of Christmas Eve, when he’d driven her home from church and she’d asked to go along to Montana with him. Everything had changed.
He didn’t say anything. Just looked at her for a long, long moment. Then he reached down, took her hand and placed it along the side of his face. Turned his head into her palm, just a bit, and closed his eyes.
Her heart wept.
“Jack,” she whispered. “Please...you’re tearing me apart.”
With his eyes still closed, he kissed the soft skin at the underside of her thumb. Then he opened his eyes.
“When we were in the bathroom at Callum’s wedding, I told you Rhys wasn’t worth your tears, remember?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“And I said that you deserved to be with someone who wanted to be with you, and only you. Who couldn’t live another day without you. Do you remember that?”
Her throat was tight. “You know I do.”
“You are no one’s consolation prize, Amy Wilson. Least of all mine. I love you. I love you so much it scares the living daylights out of me and I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t stand the thought of being hurt again but I can’t bear the idea of being without you for the rest of my life.”
“You...love me?”
She hated how the words came out soft and unsure, after all the hard work she’d put in to be strong and self-assured. And yet she needed to hear him say it again. Longed for it. To be sure he meant it.
“I do,” he confirmed. “I love you. I didn’t realize it at first. All I knew was that I felt better when I was around you. I looked forward to seeing you and God knows I was attracted to you. I did such a good job rationalizing it at first. And then...”
“And then the clock struck midnight,” she murmured. “And everything changed.”
His eyes glowed at her. “Yes,” he said, “everything changed at New Year’s. I couldn’t hide from you anymore. When we made love...it was more than sex. It was like something fell into place. And it scared me so badly that I acted like a complete ass.”
“You’re afraid of getting hurt again. I know that, Jack. And I took such a hard line because I’m so afraid of losing myself again. I want to be str
ong....”
“You are strong.”
“I was such a fool for so long, chasing after rainbows that didn’t exist because I was afraid I’d be alone like my mom. But there are worse things than being alone. There’s being in love and not having it returned. There’s knowing that you will never be enough. I am so determined to not be like my mom. Not because she’s weak. But because she’s unhappy.”
“The question is, are you willing to let yourself be happy? To give me a chance to make you happy?” He squeezed her fingers, lowering her hand from his face and resting it on the seat between them.
“You really mean that.” Hope swirled through her.
“I really mean it,” he replied. “Callum said something to me today that made so much sense. I asked him how he moved past his fears to be with Avery. And he said it was because being without her was far more frightening than whatever it was holding them apart. I’m asking you to give me a chance. To take a risk on me, and in return I’ll do whatever I can to make you happy. If you want to go to school, we’ll make that happen. Whatever it takes. Because nothing works without you, Amy. Nothing at all.”
She unbuckled her seat belt and slid closer, wishing the car had a bench seat instead of buckets with a console in the middle. “Maybe you could kiss me while I think about it,” she answered cheekily, though she knew there wasn’t much thinking to be done. The words she’d never thought he’d utter had been said. He loved her. He wanted to be with her. She knew there might be tough roads ahead. But it would be better to travel them together than be apart.
He leaned forward and kissed her. Not the tentative kiss she expected but a wholly encompassing outpouring of emotion that washed away her teasing smile and shook her to her core. This was the man who’d held her in his arms in the dark as they welcomed in a new year. Who had gazed deeply into her eyes as they were joined together, whose heart called out to hers when his voice couldn’t.
“I love you,” he said when their lips finally parted. “Say I’m not too late.”
“You’re not too late,” she breathed, touching her forehead to his. “You’re not too late.”
They clung to each other in the confines of the car for a few more minutes until Jack finally let out a breath and straightened. “Come with me. Just for a minute.”
“Okay.”
They got out of the car and he reached for her hand, guiding her up the rest of the driveway to the house, past the porch and to the backyard. Even in the dark, the starlight illuminated the vastness of the rolling prairie below them. “Ours,” he said softly. “If you want it to be. I was thinking we could divide our time between Aspen Valley and here. You’d be close to your mom most of the time and she could always come stay with us from time to time if she wanted. I know that’s important to you.”
“What about your family?”
He put his arm around her and pulled her into his side. “Callum and Avery and Nell are here. Taylor’s moving here to be with Rhys. Other than my parents, my family is here.”
He looked down at her and she looked up at him, the feeling so utterly right she could hardly believe it was possible.
“Amy,” he said gently, “even if they weren’t in Cadence Creek, you’re here. And that’s where my home is. Nothing was the same after you left. You’re the piece that’s missing.”
“Oh, Jack...”
“Those things you wanted...marriage, a home, a family... I think I want them, too. It might take me a little time, but I want to get there. With you, Amy. Only with you. If you’ll walk down that road with me.”
“Kind of lonely walking it alone,” she answered, wrapping her arms around his middle.
He kissed her again, wrapping her in his arms until she could no longer feel the cold winter air on her cheeks or fingertips or toes. He pulled her against his hard length, freer now that the barriers between them were gone and until desire swept through them both, leaving them longing and wanting. His hand crept inside her jacket and beneath her sweater, cool fingers on warm skin. He was hers, she realized. And she was his. Finally.
Jack’s lips swept down the column of her neck. “You know, I don’t think this is going to be as difficult as I thought.”
She couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on her lips, a smile of joy and happiness. “That’s very good news, but I do have one piece of advice.”
He straightened, still holding her close as if afraid to let her go. “Just one?”
She nodded. “You’re going to have to get something without bucket seats if I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off you. Like every self-respecting cowboy, you’re going to have to invest in a pickup truck.”
“Done,” he decreed, tightening his hand on her waist. “But I doubt we’ll get far. I don’t plan on letting you out of my arms for a while yet.”
She snuggled into his chest as everything clicked into its proper place.
“Sounds good to me,” she answered.
Epilogue
The air around the lodge was filled with the scent of grilling burgers and the sound of laughter. Amy pushed open the French doors to the deck with her hip as she carried two enormous bowls of potato chips for the friends and neighbors gathered at Shepard Lodge for a grand opening barbecue.
She paused for a moment, gazing down at the scene before her. The Diamonds—Sam and Angela, Ty and Clara, Molly, the children. Rhys and Taylor, who’d just returned from their honeymoon, and Callum, watching a toddling Nell with eagle eyes while Avery rested her hand on a noticeably rounded belly. Amy’s mother, sitting with Harry and Susan Shepard in the shade of a poplar tree, chatting away and smiling. Melissa and Cooper Ford, also newlyweds, holding hands as they ambled up the dirt path that linked the horse barn to the yard around the house. It was Cooper’s fine riding stock grazing in the field in the distance.
Their friends.
And Jack, standing next to a stainless-steel barbecue, spatula in hand as the meat sizzled.
“Nearly ready?” she asked as she put down the bowls.
“Another few minutes,” he replied, putting down the lid and hanging the spatula on a hook.
He went to her and slid his arms around her waist. “Glad we decided to hold a party?”
“Absolutely,” she replied, lifting her head so she could place a kiss on his lips. There was a confidence and contentment that came from sharing Jack’s life—and his heart. It didn’t matter what anyone thought or said anymore. She loved him, and he loved her, and that was all that mattered.
She looked down at her hand, the diamond ring sparkling there in the July sunlight. “You know what?” she said, sliding her hands over his ribs and linking them behind his back. She looked up into his eyes. “Let’s just have a small wedding. Everyone we love is right here in this yard. Let’s do it just like this...before the end of the summer, here at the lodge. We’ll get a justice of the peace, Avery can make cupcakes...”
“You know Taylor is going to want to dip her fingers into the planning. She won’t be able to help herself.”
“She’s awesome and efficient. Why not? I mean it, Jack. I don’t need a big church wedding. Just us and the people we care about most, and our home.”
“What about the honeymoon?”
She smiled. “We could always go to Aspen Valley. Where it all started.”
After Jack had proposed, they’d made a decision. Summers they’d spend in Cadence Creek and at Shepard Lodge. Winters, with the proximity to the winter activities, they’d spend in Montana. And down the road, when they had to think about school years for their children, they’d reevaluate.
“Miguel and Rosa would love that.”
“As long as we’re together, it’s all good.”
Jack put his palm along her cheek. “You’re really okay with not going to school this fall? You’re sure
this is what you want?”
“I’m sure.” She grinned. “Hey, I waited long enough for you. I’m not going to be separated from you any more than I have to be. Besides, I fully intend to do my learning on the job.”
Someone cleared their throat and Amy and Jack turned to see Taylor standing behind them. “Um...I was hoping to get some drinks from the cooler.”
Amy and Jack broke apart and Taylor scooted by, opened the cooler and grabbed two sodas.
“Taylor? How long would it take to put together a casual wedding? Say, outdoors, with maybe twenty or thirty guests?”
She frowned. “It would depend on the location and their definition of casual.”
Jack pulled Amy close to his side. “Say here? Mid-August?”
Taylor’s eyes widened. “Holy cow. I owe Callum twenty bucks. He said you’d have a short engagement, but I bet him it’d be after Christmas. Damn.”
Amy laughed. “I’m not about to let your brother get away.”
“Let me grab a notebook and we can start making lists.”
Amy reached out and touched Taylor’s wrist. “Not today. Let’s just enjoy the afternoon. I just want to hang out with your family and our friends.”
Taylor’s face softened. “Honey, you are our family.”
Jack pressed a kiss to her temple as her eyes started to sting.
“It kills me to say it, but for once my little sister is right.”
Taylor squeezed her hand and hopped down the steps. She hadn’t even reached the bottom when they heard her call out, “Hey, Callum, guess what?”
Jack chuckled down low as together they looked out over the land and the people they cared about most.
“Happy?” Jack asked simply.
“Happy,” she answered.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from HER SECRET COWBOY by Marin Thomas.
We hope you enjoyed this Harlequin American Romance story.
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