Mama’s message was cut off midsentence. I was wondering how long it was going to let her talk. I was happy to hear from her, but at the same time, I cringed at the Southern tone she used. Her words were slow and drawn out, which is why she probably got cut off. But still, that was Mama’s style, slow and steady.
Third saved message.
“Yo’ machine cut me off so I had to call back. I don’t know why it did that to me ...” with me hoping this time she would get out what she wanted to say in this message. “... but anyway, all I was trying to say is yah living so far away don’t mean you can just forget about your dear parents. Baby, we miss you. Give us a call so we can hear your voice and know yah still alive. Baby, life too short so pick up that phone as soon as yah get this message. Call me. I love you. Bye.” Beep.
I decided now was not a good time and I would have to call her later. I knew if I got on the phone with them, I would be talking for at least an hour. And that would be because I would have to speak with each of them and anyone else who was in the house this day. And it was Saturday. Everybody and their mama were perched up somewhere in Mama’s house, and I didn’t feel like answering the same questions over and over again.
“What you been up to?”
“How’s city life?”
“What’s the temperature today?”
“Where you going?”
“You met any celebrity people?”
“You got any sexy friends you can hook me up with?”
“When you coming home?”
I was not trying to go through that right now so I decided to take my shower and get ready to leave so I could work out some of this stress that was building.
After taking my shower and getting dressed, I grabbed my duffle bag to leave. I picked my keys up and headed out the door. Zacariah wasn’t here yet, and I wasn’t about to wait for her slow behind to show up. Zacariah saying, “I’m coming right over,” meant three hours later.
Walking down the sidewalk, I looked at my keys in my hand to unlock the car when I was taken aback at the sight before my eyes. My mouth fell open and right at that moment an insect saw this as an opportunity to fly into my mouth. I choked, gagging as I tried to cough up the bug and get it out of me. Staring at my car, I looked at it in disbelief. Somebody had covered my car in what looked like petroleum jelly. Hair grease? Who in the hell would do this to me and how in the hell did they manage to come up with so much of it?
Walking closer to my ride, I could see it was smeared on the hood, the door panels, the roof, lights, trunk, and all the windows. A quick blast of water was not going to get this off my car. Under the wiper blade sat a white piece of paper. I pulled it out, holding it with the tips of my fingers, trying not to get the substance on my hand.
“Since you like screwing people over, I thought I would give you some lubricant to help you with that. Watch your back, trick.”
What was this all about, and who did this? I hadn’t screwed anybody over. Maybe Zacariah, but not me. Maybe this person got me confused with her or somebody else. I was hoping so, but if they did get it right, I didn’t have any clue about who could have done this tome.
Kea
What better way to find out about Jaquon’s goings-on than to talk to the main person he claimed to be with all the time? After arriving home, I couldn’t stand being in the same place with him. He was acting like things were cool with us. His “I don’t give a damn” attitude ticked me off a lot, and I refused to live like this. If he wanted somebody other than me, than he needed to go. But today, I chose to leave.
I knew Derrick didn’t want to meet me because like any man, he didn’t want to get involved. I called and practically begged him to meet me at a local donut shop. Derrick stuttered over his words, looking for every reason not to meet me, but I knew my tear-filled voice persuaded him.
Entering the facility, the sweet smell of the donuts engulfed me. I instantly became high with excitement about eating one of these warm pastries. For a second, I almost forgot why I was here. Looking around, I saw Derrick sitting toward the back of the establishment. I went to the counter and ordered two glazed donuts and a cup of hot chocolate before going over to him.
Looking at Derrick’s dark mocha skin and neat close cut tapered to perfection made my heart flutter a bit. I had never had this reaction to him before, but seeing him looking more handsome than ever flipped a switch within me that I didn’t think could be turned on by another man.
“Have some,” I said, trying to break the awkwardness of our meeting. I didn’t know why it was awkward. I had known Derrick for a long time, so this shouldn’t have been as uncomfortable as it felt.
“No, thank you. I just ate two myself.”
“I was really hoping you were going to say no anyway,” I said smiling.
He smiled back saying, “You know those things are addictive.”
“I know, right? Especially when they’re warm. These just came out too,” I said looking down at the glazed bread. I picked one up and bit into it. The taste made me close my eyes in tantalizing delight.
“Good, isn’t it?” he asked.
“Too good. I think I could eat a dozen of these things, but I know I don’t need the extra pounds.”
“A little weight won’t hurt you,” he said watching me lick the glaze off my fingers. Just the thought of him watching me made me wonder what he was thinking. Then I thought I knew what he was thinking as I removed my wet index finger from my mouth. This was too much like ... like ... Well, you know.
I picked up a napkin wiping my hands.
“Derrick, I’m glad you came to meet me.”
“Well, you really didn’t give me a choice in the matter.”
“Sorry for the tears, but I really needed to talk to you.”
“I know this has to do with my man, so what do you want to talk about?” he asked getting to the point.
I lowered my head trying to build up the courage to ask him these questions I had to know the answers to.
“You have known me for quite a while now, and I hope we have become good friends.”
I looked to him for confirmation, and he said nothing, but his nod gave me the answer I wanted. So I continued.
“I know we are not close as you and Jaquon, but I hope you know I’m not a bad person.”
“I know this, Kea,” he said leaning with his elbows on the table.
“I need to know one thing. Is Jaquon cheating on me again?”
Derrick lowered his head shaking it.
“I know he’s your best friend, and you don’t want to betray his trust, but I have to know. Please tell me,” I said with pleading eyes, which he was trying to avoid.
“Did you ask him?” Derrick questioned.
“You know I have, and he denies it. He denied it when he was cheating before so why would he start telling the truth now? To be honest, I don’t know if I can bring myself to believe anything coming out of his mouth.”
“Kea, I don’t want to be involved in this,” he said genuinely.
“Just tell me. Shake your head yes or no, anything to help me decide what I need to do.”
“What does your gut tell you? Deep down, I know your womanly instinct has already given you the answer you’re seeking.”
“I’m scared that my paranoid state could have a lot to do with my gut, Derrick.”
“Is that what Jaquon is telling you?”
I nodded.
“Kea, you know the answer already. I don’t have to be the one to confirm or deny this. What do you feel?”
“I feel he is cheating on me again. What are you going to tell me?”
“You are putting me in a bad situation. I can’t believe you expect me to help destroy what you all have.”
“So are you saying he is?” I asked.
“That’s not what I said, Kea,” he replied nervously.
“Derrick, you are not helping in the destruction of what Jaquon and I have. He’s doing a good job of that all by himself.”
“So why do you need me? I can’t betray my friend.”
“I’m going to take this as you having something terrible to tell me,” I said complacently.
“Again, I say, go with your gut. You’re a smart, beautiful woman. You know what you need to do.”
“Was he at your house last night?” I asked like he didn’t say anything.
“Yes,” Derrick said nodding.
“What time did he get there?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Was it late?”
“Yes,” he said.
“Were you out with him?” I asked not wanting to give him the opportunity to think of a lie.
“No.”
“I knew it. He told me he was with you all night.”
“He was, but it was earlier, so he’s not lying about that.”
“Don’t lie for him, Derrick. That’s not your style.”
He nodded.
“He’s lying again. I know it, and I’m sick and tired of dealing with his games,” I said getting upset. I covered my face with my hands trying to calm my nerves and will the tears back into their ducts. Dropping my hands to my lap I said, “Why does it have to be like this, Derrick? Why can’t he just love me and be true to me?”
“I don’t know. But what I do know is you deserve to be happy.”
“But I’m not. I’m miserable.”
“So put yourself first for once in your life.”
“But it’s so hard,” I said with my voice cracking.
“I’ve been where you are. Zacariah stepped out on me, but I gave her another chance,” he said.
“And you trust her?”
He looked around as if the answer were going to fall out of the sky.
“Not fully,” he said turning back to look at me.
“So why are you with her?” I asked finally taking a sip of my now-warm cocoa.
“I’m with her the same reason you’re with Jaquon.”
“Love,” I said nodding.
“We’ve been through a lot together, and I guess another reason I might stay with her is fear. I’ve been with her for so long now, I don’t know how to be by myself. I don’t feel like getting back into the dating scene.”
“That’s how I feel.”
“Kea, you don’t need me to help you with this. Regardless of what I say, you’re still going to be with Jaquon. You’ve proven this already when you caught him before.”
“You’re right,” I said, looking down at my half-eaten donut.
“Jaquon has done some trifling things in his past, but one thing I do know is that he loves you. He may not show it like he should, but I know he does care for you deeply. You’re the best thing that has happened to him.”
“Derrick, I’m really not feeling the love right now.”
“Talk to him. Hear him out and go from there.”
I finally got the courage to look Derrick in his face after looking at everything but him during our conversation. Most of the time I spent twirling my fingers and looking out the window or at my donuts, but this time, I wanted to look into his eyes which represented a genuine spirit I wished Jaquon had.
“Why us?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Why did we choose individuals who cheat on us? Why couldn’t we find each other since the two of us are the ones remaining true?”
He smiled saying, “Jaquon lucked out and got to you before I did.”
“I wish I would’ve met you first, Derrick. I know I wouldn’t be going through what I’m going through now.”
We stared at each other a few seconds too long before Derrick broke the connection.
“Okay. I think it’s time for me to go, that’s if you don’t have anything else you want to talk to me about.”
“Nawh. We’re good. I appreciate you speaking with me.”
“It’s all good. I hope things work out for you. Remember what I said. Try making yourself happy first and everything else will come together.”
Zacariah
Essence was no fun this evening. Each time a nice-looking guy came up to her, she turned him away with her face all frowned up telling them she was gay.
“What the hell is your problem tonight? You’re turning away perfectly good prospects.”
“Did you forget what happened to me? My car was put into the shop due to somebody trying to destroy it. You think I want to smile up in a man’s face?”
“Forget about your car. You got the mess being clean up. It’s time to have some fun,” I said moving in my seat to the beat of the music.
“I’m not feeling it tonight, Zacariah.”
“I bet you if Jaquon was here, you would be feeling him.”
“How did you know his name?” she asked curiously.
Between her frantic state of mind about her car and my near-death experience, I never got a chance to bring Jaquon up. “Because he’s Derrick’s best friend.”
“Are you serious?” she asked surprised.
“Girl, when you walked up in here with him the other night, I thought I was going to fall off my bar stool.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Duh, you were occupied with him and your car situation.”
Essence said nothing, twirling the beverage with the stir stick.
“I wish you would stop looking depressed. What you need to do is catch you a score. Making money always makes a girl feel good.”
“Don’t you mean taking.”
“Making. Taking. Whatever; it’s still money.”
“Did you ever stop to think maybe I’m tired of this game? Hell, it’s probably the reason why my car got greased up.”
“Girl, I think your car getting greased is hilarious,” I laughed.
“Ha-ha. I can’t believe you’re laughing at your best friend’s misfortune.”
“Come on, Essence. You don’t find it funny?”
“Hell, no! My car is in the shop. I’m driving a rental.”
“Oooh, you got a point there. But why did you get that compact box anyway? It looks like a child should be driving it. They didn’t have an Explorer or Suburban?”
“I had to get what the insurance claim could afford me.”
“You couldn’t sweet-talk the person filing your claim?”
“It was a woman.”
“And?”
Essence shook her head and said, “Something is wrong with you.”
“But you love me though,” I said looking at this guy who sat next to me.
“I’m just tired of all of this. In the beginning, I was doing this for the money, but I have a great job and can take care of myself without scheming all the time.”
I put the back of my hand to her forehead to feel if she was running a high temperature. She pushed my hand away.
“Maybe you’re sick. That’s what it is because you can’t be telling me you tired of getting paid.”
“I’m not saying I’m completely done with this, Zacariah. Then again, I could be. I don’t know right now. All I know is tonight is not the night. I need time to step back and think about things,” she said sipping her drink. “I should be home talking to my mother right now, letting her know I’m still alive. I can’t believe I’ve let so much time pass without seeing her or my father.”
“How long has it been?”
“A little over a year I think.”
“Do you know how lucky you are to have both of your parents alive and still together?”
“I know. And here I am not appreciating them. Too busy trying to get paid,” she said glumly.
“Go home and call them. Better yet, go home and mark a date on your calendar to go visit them. Then call them with the news of you coming to visit. If you want, I’ll go with you.”
“You would do that for me?” Essence asked.
“Girl, a free trip to Georgia? Hell, yeah, I’d go,” I said laughing, bringing a smile to Essence’s face. “Now leave before it gets really late. Maybe you can still catch your mama u
p. I know old people like to go to bed early, but I think she’ll wake up to talk to her long-lost daughter.”
In saying that, Essence gathered her purse, hugged me, and left to go home, leaving me to do this thing on my own. It wasn’t the first time, and I hoped it wouldn’t be the last. Essence really did sound like she was ready to give this game up. It just helped when she was with me in case I came across a fool not knowing how to act. In those situations, we would pretend to be together. You know, girlfriend and girlfriend. Many guys got turned on by that and wanted to join, making it a trio. If he looked as though he had money, then that worked because the two of us worked together to get paid, but in other instances, we would totally dismiss the guy.
Maybe I should have thought about quitting this myself. I mean, a woman ended her life in front of me. I’m fearless but going into that restroom had me on edge. Not to mention the argument I had with Derrick about me going out afterward. Maybe one day I would stop, but that was a big maybe. Tonight, I was determined to have my fun even if it was by myself.
After about an hour of mingling and getting my drink on, I found myself another prospect. He was tall and sexy with dark skin, a clean shaven face, and neatly locked dreads tied up. He noticed me immediately. When I smiled at him, I felt my cell phone vibrate. It was Essence.
“Yeah, girl, what do you want?” I asked staring at the chocolate brother.
“Will you call Derrick?” Essence shouted not saying hello.
“Why are you screaming at me?”
“Because your man wouldn’t let me get in my place good before he was ringing my cell phone off the hook. I was in the bathroom trying to handle some business and couldn’t concentrate from him calling me every few minutes. I guess he couldn’t get in touch with you, so I was the next best thing.”
“What did he say?”
“He wanted to talk to you, and I told him you had gone to the restroom and I would have you call as soon as you got back.”
“Thanks, girl. I’ll call him.”
“Do it now, please, so I can have a peaceful, uninterrupted night.”
I didn’t want anyone around me to hear my conversation in case I had to lay Derrick out, so I went to the hallway leading to the restrooms. I was not about to go into the ladies’ room. Tonight, if I had to use the bathroom, I was going to use the men’s bathroom. Before I could dial his number, though, Derrick buzzed me. I answered.
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