“You’d better go,” she said, not looking at him.
“Yeah, sure. Just let me get this.”
Winston turned and snatched up the flashlight. The main breaker was flipped, and when he clicked it back into place he heard the hum of the air conditioning switch on upstairs. The basement remained dark, but for the flashlight. He turned around and Jessica was right behind him again, clutching her shirt to her chest.
“Thank you,” she said earnestly.
“Sure. Let’s go upstairs.”
The light was on in the living room and seeing Jessica half-naked in the light didn’t help his throbbing hard on. Neither of them spoke until they reached the front door. Winston looked down at her and it was hard to breathe for a second. She really was beautiful, and she looked so vulnerable. Jessica was torn between her desires and her morality. The emotions warred on her face. It only made him want her more. And he wanted her to choose it and own the choice. She was so very different from her friend Nicole. It was funny that he thought of Nicole then. It was so easy with her. The two friends were so different, but they both had a hold over him, he realized.
“I’m sorry. I just…”
“Stop apologizing, Jessie. It’s all good. I will see you soon.”
Winston gave her a final kiss and he felt her melt under it. Yes, he could have her right there on the living room floor if he pushed it, but it would be so much sweeter when Jessica came to him. At least, he told himself that when he broke the kiss and walked out into the soothing rain.
eighteen
Jess felt so strange that she thought she might be in shock, as silly as that seemed. She felt everything and nothing at the same time. Her brain was numb, but her pussy was throbbing. Winston gave her a climax in the basement, but that hardly made a dent in how incredibly horny she was. The moment Winston kissed her she wanted him with every cell in her body. She had no idea how she resisted when he tried to pull her pants off.
Left alone, the waves of guilt crashed over her. It didn’t matter that she suspected her husband would approve. Jess had taken vows. She was raised better than this. Cheating on your husband was wrong—no matter how he felt about it. But she had never been so tempted. She had never wanted something so wrong so badly. She was so keyed up that she couldn’t control herself.
Leaning against the wall, just inside the door, Jess pushed a hand down the front of her pants and inside her thong. Her pussy was unbelievably wet. Her fingers slipped right over her lips, but she found her clit and jogged it with her middle finger. She slid down the wall, sitting on the floor with her legs spread wide, while her growing moans filled the silent living room. As she touched herself, she remembered how thick and strong Winston’s cock felt in her hand. She had marveled at the pictures of it, but it felt even larger when she touched it. All she could think about was pulling it out so she could see it, but she couldn’t make herself do it. She knew what it would mean if she freed his prick.
Jess licked her lips. She still tasted him there. He was so delicate, so sweet. Those lips felt wonderful on hers. She didn’t know how she would look at those lips again without kissing them. Even now, she wanted to run out into the rain and throw herself into his arms.
Her quick fingers brought Jess to orgasm easily. Even her toy didn’t usually get her off that fast, but in just a couple minutes she cried out and clenched her thighs together as the climax slammed through her. The pleasure pulsed through her body, leaving Jess drained, and she sagged to the side. She could have stayed there all night. Jess had no desire to move, because once she did she had to face the music.
Jess pushed to her feet and found her phone before dragging herself upstairs. She peeled off her clothes and took a very hot shower. The further she moved away from being with Winston, and closer to having to deal with Kyle, the heavier she felt. She had to tell her husband what she did, but she didn’t know how she would find the words. How could she tell Kyle she’d been unfaithful? She could argue that he’d pushed her into it, but deep down that was not the truth. She let Winston kiss her, and touch her, because she wanted him. Kyle’s strange fantasies gave her an excuse, but she didn’t do it for him. She wanted Winston for herself. It was just convenient that Kyle wanted the same thing. But did he really?
Kyle was turned on by fantasizing about Winston touching her—even fucking her—but that didn’t mean he really wanted it to happen. He might flip out when confronted with the reality. He might leave her. Jess would be devastated if she made a fatal mistake that ended her marriage. Kyle could very easily be disgusted by her now. Maybe he’d never get the image of Winston’s dark hands all over her out of his head. She couldn’t. Just because Kyle had started this little game, that didn’t mean he wanted it to truly lead anywhere.
Jess kept coming back to Kyle. He was the one who first suggested Winston was checking her out. Kyle was the one who teased her that their neighbor wanted her, and as she overheard, he even encouraged Winston to play along. It was easy to try and blame her husband. She wondered if any of this would have happened if Kyle had never teased her and sent her mind down that road. Would she have discovered a crush on Winston on her own? She didn’t think she would have gone out of her way to tease him if it wasn’t to torture her husband as well. But Kyle wasn’t wrong. Winston did want her. But she encouraged him. Would he have eventually made a pass at her anyway, and would she have resisted? Her chemistry with the handsome black man was so visceral that she wondered if their being together was inevitable, no matter how she felt about her vows, or what Kyle thought. Her mind was a swirl of confusion while she scrubbed her body clean under the hot water.
The house had not cooled yet, so she changed into a cami and panties and turned on the ceiling fan. It didn’t help much. The heat was inside her. She still ached for Winston. You have to get over it! she thought. Let it go! It can’t happen! But god, she wanted it to happen. Even though she knew it was wrong on every level, Jess still wished she hadn’t stopped Winston. She picked up her phone and called Kyle with all of that swimming around in her head. Time to face the music, but she couldn’t actually face him. She did not make a video call.
“Hey, Jess. Did you get the power straightened out?” Kyle asked, as soon as he answered.
“Yeah, everything is turned on now,” she quietly replied.
“Good. Sorry about earlier. We were just wrapping up a business dinner that wasn’t going well and I couldn’t be distracted. I’m proud of you for facing your fear. I hope no icky spiders got you.” He chuckled lightly.
“I didn’t go down alone. I went over and got Winston.”
“Really? How did that go? Did he stay for a beer?”
“He didn’t.”
“What are you wearing, Jess?”
She was surprised he hadn’t picked up on her flat tone. The only way she could keep from freaking out was to tamp everything down. She still didn’t know how she was going to tell him what happened.
“Uhm, I was just back from yoga.”
“So you’re in yoga pants? I bet he appreciated that. He was staring at your ass, wasn’t he?”
“I just came out of the shower. I’m not in my workout clothes anymore.”
After a long pause, he asked, “Is he waiting downstairs?”
“No, he’s gone. Kyle… Listen…”
“Jess, what is it?”
“I don’t… Honey… Something happened.”
“Jess…”
“He kissed me. We were downstairs and it was dark and there was this moment and he reached for me and I don’t know he just kissed me.” The words came out in a rush, running together. If she paused she would have chickened out.
“Winston kissed you?”
“Yes.”
The line was silent. Jess tried to imagine what her husband was thinking, but it had all become so muddled that she had no idea what he might be feeling. His speechlessness wasn’t promising.
“You kissed him back?”
“Yes.”
Her answer was barely audible.
“What happened?”
“I just told you.”
“That was all that happened? He kissed you and then walked away?”
“No.” She rushed to add, “I didn’t sleep with him. I stopped it.”
“But not right away?”
“No. I’m so sorry.” Emotion hitched her voice and tears welled in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Kyle. I know it was so wrong. I mean we talked about it, but I know doing it was wrong.”
“Jess, honey, hush, come on now. Don’t cry. I’m not angry, not really.”
“You’re not?”
“No, I don’t think I am. Maybe I should be? I don’t know. It’s not like you were just with another man out of the blue. There’s been something going on. We both knew it. And we both kind of wanted it.”
Jess didn’t answer.
“You wanted him to kiss you, didn’t you?”
She sniffed back her tears and said, “Yes.”
“I’m not angry,” he repeated. “I can’t be.”
“You didn’t make me do anything. I’m a grown woman. I know the difference between right and wrong.”
“But is it wrong? I mean, if I encouraged you to do it, and I guess I did, did you do anything wrong? How can it be cheating if I’m okay with it?”
“Are you okay with it?”
“I don’t know how I really feel. I’m feeling everything all at once. It’s confusing.”
Jess was relieved the attention was off her for the moment, and saw that Kyle was experiencing a rare moment of reflection. Maybe he would finally be completely honest with her.
“Are you jealous?” she asked.
“Yeah, I guess I am. It’s complicated, but knowing you want another man makes me jealous. Don’t apologize again. It’s okay. I’m jealous, but it’s weird…”
“I have to confess, I’m glad you’re jealous. Something would be really wrong if you weren’t—if you didn’t care.”
“Oh, I care. I’m lying on the bed, but I feel like I’m being tossed on a ship at sea. My chest feels like it’s going to explode. It doesn’t really feel like I thought it would.”
“You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?”
“I have, more than I want to admit. It was all kind of a joke, a little tease, before he planted the seed in my head.”
“What are you talking about?”
Jess did a good job of acting surprised. She wondered if Kyle would really come clean.
“A few weeks ago when Winston was over, we had a chat while you were putting Maddy to bed. It was kind of weird. We started talking about Nic, but then we were talking about you.”
“So as soon as I leave the room you start discussing me with other men?” She tried to sound playfully arch.
“I never had a talk like this before. We were talking about how hot you are, and then he asked if I like it when men hit on you. I know I do, but I never really thought about it more than that. It was just a cool thing to have a hot wife. But after that, I did think more about it, and it did turn me on that other men wanted you. That’s why I was encouraging you.”
“And you never told me any of this?”
“Come on, Jess, this isn’t the kind of thing you confess to your wife. It was guy talk, and I knew you had me figured out. I didn’t think anything good would come from saying it.”
“Why not?”
“I didn’t want to scare you off.”
“I’m a big girl, Kyle. I think I've proved I’m not the shrinking violet type.”
“Yeah, true enough. These games we’ve been playing. They were so hot. I didn’t want them to stop, even if I didn’t really want to think about where they might be going, not in a real way.”
“It was the same for me. I really didn’t think about the flirting as being anything more than harmless, but then Winston started acting a little differently, and it seemed more real.”
“Well…”
“What?”
“We talked again, last week. I talked to him the night Nic was over.”
“So that’s how you were so sure I didn’t do anything!”
“I really never thought you would take this too far, but I’ll admit, I was starting to wonder, based on the way you were acting. This time, though, I knew you were teasing.”
Jess felt the color rising in her cheeks. It was one thing when she overheard Kyle and Winston talking about her. They hadn’t said anything that bad and nothing really came of it. But now she felt like the guys were collaborating behind her back. Was she manipulated into this?
“So you and Winston were making plans for me? You two set me up?”
“No! It was nothing like that. I just happened to call him.”
“Did you now?”
“Okay, maybe I was getting paranoid that maybe you really would do something. You were really pushing it.”
She was glad he couldn’t see her smile. Despite her anger, she was pleased that Kyle had taken her seriously. But she still wasn’t happy that the men were colluding. “What did you guys talk about that time?”
Kyle exhaled loudly, like he was preparing for a confession. This time, she had no idea what was coming. Fear knotted in the pit of her stomach. Jess was the paranoid one now.
“Well, I started fishing. I wanted to know if he noticed you were flirting with him. I guess I wanted to know if he liked it. I’d been thinking about it, like I said, and I was fishing for information because it turned me on. I want to hear how hot he thought you were.”
“And did he?” She was tingling from her head to her toes. The anticipation was silly, she knew, since she already got her answer earlier in the basement.
“Yeah, of course he did. A guy like Winston knows when a girl is coming on to him. He even thought you might be having an affair with someone else, the way you were acting.”
“What did you say?” Jess was shocked, and more than a little pleased with herself.
“I told him of course you weren’t having an affair. But, uh, I might have said too much.”
“What did you say?” she asked slowly, drawing out the sentence.’
“Uh, I may have spilled the beans.”
“What does that mean, Kyle?”
“I didn’t tell him everything, but I sort of told him a little about what you were up to…”
“Kyle!”
“I think I mentioned your crush, like maybe you had one.”
“Jesus, Kyle! How could you?”
“I don’t know. We were talking like guys and it just came out. I was weirdly turned on, and obviously I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“But how could you tell him that?”
“I don’t know. It just came out.”
Jess was fuming. Kyle sharing her secret was a major betrayal. No wonder Winston came on as strong as he did. He figured, she’s interested, why not? And every time she heard the word crush she felt like a silly little girl. Was that what Winston thought? Did he see her as a silly girl with a crush on her exotic African American neighbor who would be easy pickings? She started to get angry at Winston too, but realized it was misplaced. He hadn’t done anything wrong. How could she blame him for taking advantage of a situation? From his point of view, it must have looked like she was throwing herself at him.
“I feel like such a fool,” she growled.
“Why would you feel that way? He didn’t judge you. He was totally into it. He thought this was great.”
“Of course he did. Here’s some silly suburban girl throwing herself at him, looking for a little excitement.”
“Winston doesn’t see you that way at all, Jess.” The backpedaling was audible in his voice. Now she wished they were on a video call so she could see his desperation.
“How do you know?”
“I know what he told me. I know Winston kept talking about how hot you are. He kept talking about what a great ass you have.”
“Really?” she asked. But then she knew that. She�
�d overheard that.
“Yeah. This wasn’t just some one-sided thing, like you’re making it out to be. He didn’t make a move on you because it was easy. He said you’ve been looking really hot. He picked up what you were putting out there before I ever said anything. He was being cool about it before, but maybe he did think he had a green light. But if he kissed you it’s because he’s wanted to for a long time, not because he thought you were some easy mark.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel better, and dig yourself out of a hole.”
“Trust me, Jess. Winston wants to fuck you. I can tell.”
That shut her up. It was such a stark thing for her husband to say. He wasn’t saying it while they were playing out some sex fantasy. Kyle said it like it was just a matter of fact, and like there was nothing wrong with it. Jess might have smacked him if he’d said something like that in the past. Now, it gave her shivers. It brought the heat from her cheeks right down between her legs. It wasn’t only because Winston wanted her, but because she wanted him too, and for the first time she realized she could have him if she chose that.
“And you sound okay with that,” she said tentatively. “How does that make you feel? It’s not like this is just some guy checking out my butt at a bar. This is a man who lives across the street. A man who has already kissed your wife.”
“And a man who my wife wants to fuck,” he finished for her.
“I never said that. We’re talking about you.”
“Don’t hate me, but it turns me on. Okay, I said it. I know he wants you, and I know you want him, and when I think about you just giving in to your lust and giving yourself to him it turns me on. I get so hard it hurts.”
“I could never hate you, Kyle. I love you. I’m a little annoyed right now, and very confused by everything that’s happening, but no matter what happens, I love you. I didn’t kiss Winston because I don’t love you. It was this overwhelming thing. I wanted him and I couldn’t stop myself, even if it was wrong.”
“You still want him, don’t you?” His voice was low, intimate.
Jess paused. The conversation had shifted out of nowhere. They weren’t hashing things out any longer. They were getting real, and it was sexy.
Gentrified Page 17