He kissed my forehead. “I guess we need to go.”
“We do.” I didn’t want him to leave his happy place, but he needed to make the funeral. Not only would he regret it if he didn’t go, but it would hurt his family. Feeling guilty for something that wasn’t his fault was one thing, he didn’t need to give himself something real to feel bad about.
He laced his fingers with mine. “Will you come with me?”
I looked down at our entwined hands that fit together perfectly. “Of course.”
“And after? You’re not going to leave?” There was a vulnerability in his eyes and voice that nearly broke me.
“I’m here for as long as you need me.”
“Even if that means forever?”
“Even if it means forever.” I squeezed his hand.
***
Funerals are always hard, no matter who they are for. Death may be a natural part of life, but there is nothing that comes natural about laying someone to rest—especially when the person is as young as Dylan.
My heart broke as I watched Grace and Steve standing by as his casket was lowered into the ground, but I forced myself to stay composed and focused on holding Kyle’s hand. He held on with dear life, almost hurting me with the intensity of his grip. He hadn’t said a word since we’d pulled up to the small graveside service open only to family and friends. Kyle had declined the opportunity to speak, and Dana did it instead.
My friend Juliet gave me a sympathetic look from where she stood tucked against her boyfriend’s side. Her relationship with Dylan was complicated and ugly, but I knew she hadn’t come for him. She’d come for Grace and maybe herself. Sometimes you need to physically see something before you can get the closure you need.
Chapter Thirty-One
Kyle
Two Months Later
I looked out over the rail at the water slopping against the side of the bridge. Jade had convinced me that I needed closure, and I knew she was right. I brought a box of memories with me. I’d planned to toss them over the edge, but at the last moment I couldn’t.
Jade and I had grown closer in the months since Dylan’s death, but it was as friends. Jade had insisted on it. At first I’d argued, terrified that it was her way of politely leaving me, but eventually I understood. I needed to heal before I could begin to face the challenges of building a real relationship with her.
Neither of us dated anyone else, and she let me take her to her sorority date party. I’d already promised myself she’d never go to one alone again, but our time together was platonic, and as much as I wanted her, I resisted. They were the longest two months of my life.
“Here, toss this instead.” She put one of the flowers she’d brought into my hand. “It will feel good.” Like the return to friendship idea, the road trip had been her idea as well. I’d learned to stop questioning Jade. She was full of good ideas, especially when it came to me.
I tossed the yellow orchid in and watched as it slowly drifted down. The water accepted the offering, and the orchid drifted out to sea. I took another flower. And another, until they were all gone.
We stood there watching the yellow and purple flowers floating away. Despite the flowers, the waves hadn’t changed at all. Nothing had. It all looked exactly the same. Just like there was no evidence of the way Dylan’s car had careened into the water at the exact spot two months before.
Jade squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back. Despite all the hell of the past months, she was still there with me. No matter how hard I’d pushed her away she came right back.
***
“I’ve missed you so much.” She ran her hands down my chest in the same way she always had before. It felt good through my shirt, but I knew how good it felt when there was no cotton separating her soft fingers from my skin. We’d just arrived back on campus, and without either of us discussing it, I knew it was time.
“I’ve missed you too.” I rubbed her back, marveling as always that she gave me the time of day. I knew I wasn’t the easiest guy to deal with, but it never seemed to deter her. I swore up and down that I’d make it all up to her. I’d be exactly the man she needed in her life. But for now all I could do was live in the moment, and enjoy the look of complete love on her face.
“Don’t leave me again. I can’t lose you.” Her words were whispered as her lips brushed against my ear. She wasn’t talking about us breaking up, she was talking about the way I’d shut her out. I’d hurt her more than I’d realized at the time.
“You never really lost me.” I took her hand in my own. “I only lost myself.”
“I lost you.” Tears spilled down her unbelievably beautiful face.
I wiped away a few tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you.”
“You only did it because you were hurting.”
“That doesn’t excuse it.”
“No, but it changes things.” She blinked a few times, offsetting a few tears that had settled on her eyelashes.
“Why did you wait for me? Why are you still here when I pushed you away?”
“Because love does messed up things to you.”
“It does…” I pulled her closer. I needed to feel her heartbeat.
“I never wanted to love you.”
“I did. That’s all I wanted from you. Your love, and your heart.”
“And it’s yours.” Her tears continued to pour from her eyes, and I knew wiping them away wasn’t enough. I left gentle kisses across her cheeks, trying to replace each tear with my lips.
“How in the world did I ever get so lucky?”
“You can’t mean that. With everything you’ve been through, you can’t actually feel lucky just because I’m here.”
“That’s exactly how I feel.” I brushed my lips against hers. They were as soft and sweet as always. “You’ve brought more happiness to my life than you’ll ever know.” I returned my lips to hers, and we moved them together gently. But that didn’t last. It couldn’t. We both sped up the pace, and she parted her lips to let me inside. I let my tongue enjoy coming home, as I slipped my hand under the bottom of her dress. I needed to feel her skin. I needed to feel her.
She slipped her hand under my shirt, running her hand up and down my body in the teasing way she’d done the very first night at the lake.
She broke the kiss. “I need you, Kyle.”
“I need you too. I always need you.”
“Show me.”
I didn’t waste a moment. I slipped off her dress, taking in a breath as her bare breasts came into view. She pulled off my shirt slowly, before moving on to my pants and boxers. I gently laid her back down and pulled off her panties. I held back and just watched her. I watched the beautiful woman who I’d come so close to losing because I couldn’t stand the thought of loving anyone. “You are too beautiful for words.”
“Thank you.” She locked eyes with me, and she didn’t cover up.
I lowered my mouth to her breast while I cupped the other. I needed to explore every inch of her again as though it was the first time. In some ways it was. Neither of us were the same people we were that night at the lake, and neither of us were pretending that what we were about to share was anything short of everything.
She moaned beneath me, gently stroking me with her hand. I released her breast with my mouth and left kisses all the way down her body while I slipped my hand between her legs.
She opened up to me while locking her eyes with mine.
“I need you, Jade.” I moved above her, watching for the signal that she was as ready as I was.
“Show me you need me.”
I nodded before thrusting into her. I didn’t take it slow or gentle. I moved in and out quickly, needing the full length of myself inside her, needing to feel complete.
She wrapped her legs around me as she pulled my head down to meet hers. Her lips eagerly melded with mine. The combination of her lips on mine while I moved inside her was almost too much.
She moaned, her body heaving underne
ath me. I broke the kiss long enough to say the words I needed to say. “I love you, Jade.”
“I love you, Kyle.”
I reached my release and stayed inside her.
She looked up at me again with tears.
“Did I hurt you?” I wiped away her tears.
“These are happy tears. You have them too.”
I ran my hand over my cheek, she was right. At one time in my life that might have embarrassed me, but not now. Not when it was because I was finally reconnected with the girl I loved. I kissed her lightly. “You’ll stay tonight, won’t you?”
“I’ll stay any night you want me to.”
“Then stay every night.” I rolled next to her.
“I’d like that.” She rested her head on my chest. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“There’s no one else I’d want to be with.” I ran my fingers through her tangled hair.
“It looks like we’ve moved passed friends again.”
“That we did.” I laced my fingers with hers. “I guess sleeping with a friend isn’t so bad.”
“I don’t want to go back to being just friends ever again.”
“We’re never going back there. We’re staying right here forever.” I put our hands right over my heart.
“I’d like that.”
“I’d love it.” I kissed the spot right over her heart.
Want more Hazards? Check out the other books in the Hazards series: The Hazards of Skinny Dipping, The Hazards of a One Night Stand, The Hazards of Sex on the Beach, and The Hazards of Mistletoe.
Keep reading for a preview of On The Rocks, a New Adult Romance by Alyssa Rose Ivy
For more information about Alyssa Rose Ivy’s books, please visit her online at:
www.AlyssaRoseIvy.com
www.facebook.com/AlyssaRoseIvy
twitter.com/AlyssaRoseIvy
[email protected]
To stay up to date on Alyssa’s new releases, join her mailing list: http://eepurl.com/ktlSj
On The Rocks
Love is best served on the rocks.
My roommates look really good naked. At least one of them does. I’m sure the other one does too, but I haven’t seen him without his pants on. Living with two guys wasn’t something I’d ever considered, but the opportunity fell in my lap, and I’d have been crazy to turn it down.
College went by in a great big blur leaving me with less of a direction than I had going in. Add in a family that wanted nothing to do with me, and my post-college plans were less than clear. What’s a girl to do when she has nowhere else to turn? She moves to the Outer Banks and learns to bartend. After all, it was my horrible bartending skills that led me to my roommate’s bed and into his heart.
Chapter One
Carly
I’m all about ‘80s Flashback Fridays on radio stations as long as I don’t have to listen. I love music, but the ‘80s is one decade of tunes that needs to be buried—in a deep hole—and covered over. At least that’s how I felt as I sat in traffic while the sun beat down on me through the window.
My Camry is a great car. I love every little thing about it, except for its malfunctioning radio, and said radio’s impeccable timing of getting stuck on a station at the worst moment. That’s how I came to be singing along to Madonna’s Like a Virgin at the top of my lungs with the windows down as I drove into Corolla, North Carolina. I need to amend my earlier statement; there are a few redeemable songs from that decade.
I hadn’t actually told my brother that I was coming to stay with him. That kind of forewarning would have resulted in him trying to dissuade me from visiting. As cool as Colin was, he had a thing about privacy, especially now that he had a serious girlfriend. He’d been home from Paris less than a month, but I knew he was trying to convince Maddy, the girlfriend, to move in. From what I understood she was resisting. Maddy also happened to be one of my favorite people in the world, so I was trying to be Switzerland in the whole situation. Of course her moving in might make it more likely that they’d get married, which would mean I’d see her for the rest of my life. I guess in that way I was kind of biased.
After getting a few stares from pedestrians, I lowered the volume of both my voice and the radio. There was no reason to annoy the neighbors—even if they were mostly tourists.
I pulled into Colin’s driveway, taking in his gorgeous two story beach house. The place wasn’t actually his. His company owned it, but it was still pretty cool.
Nine o’clock at night seemed like a safe time to show up unannounced. It was late enough that even my workaholic brother should have been home, but it was early enough that I wouldn’t interrupt any activities he was having with Maddy. I’d done that before, and Colin was less than thrilled.
Maddy was there. I noticed her bicycle leaning against the garage. I was surprised Colin hadn’t brought it inside. He was very much into keeping the property visually appealing. I know I’m probably painting him in a negative light. I’m not trying to. He’s a great guy, a fantastic brother and all that, but he could be incredibly uptight about some things. Maddy seemed to chill him out and bring out all his good qualities. She needed to stick around. In my defense, I knew he was good for her too. I guess you could say they brought out the best in each other.
I popped the trunk and pulled out a couple of bags. I’d probably over packed, but I didn’t plan to leave for a while. Going home to my parents’ house was out of the question, and now that I had a college diploma, my on-campus apartment was no longer an option. I brought everything I didn’t want to leave in storage. I walked up the steps dragging an oversized duffel and a large rolling suitcase. By the time I reached the top stair I regretted the decision to drag them up myself. Colin could have lifted them and saved me the effort.
I took a deep breath and readied myself before knocking.
The door opened, and Maddy pulled me into a huge hug. “Carly!”
“Hey!” I shared her enthusiasm. I was probably even more excited to see her than I was to see my brother.
Maddy opened the door wider and picked up the duffel. I’d taken two steps into the entryway when Colin walked down the hall.
“Carly?” Wearing only jeans and with wet hair, Colin’s appearance made me doubt my timing analysis. But then again Maddy’s hair was completely dry. Maybe he’d just taken a post-work shower.
“Hey, brother.” I dropped the handle to my suitcase and hugged him before he could respond.
“Uh, why are you in my front hall with all of your belongings?” He looked around the entryway like the walls might provide him with an answer.
“You think this is all my stuff? You did live with me for fourteen years of your life.”
Maddy laughed. “Are you in town for awhile? When we saw you at graduation you said you were planning to stay around campus for the summer.”
“Yeah. Change of plans.” The staying around idea had sounded good until my friend who was supposed to be splitting the rent in an apartment went and got engaged. The trials of being a single twenty-something.
“So you’re here for a few days then?” Colin’s voice lilted a little. He was afraid of my answer.
“Maybe a week—or a month or something.”
“Carly!” Colin turned red. That’s what he always did when he got annoyed.
“What?”
“You know I love you, but you can’t move in here.”
“Why not? You have tons of room.”
“It’s my house.”
“I’ll be good. I was helpful when I was here in December.” The jab probably got him where it hurt. I’d rescued Maddy when he’d stood her up on their three-month anniversary because of work. That should have entitled me to something.
A smile crossed his lips, and I knew he was done fighting. “Fine. You can stay a few days.”
“Awesome!” Maddy popped up on her toes. I’m pretty sure I brought out the giddy, girly side in her. I got the feeling she was usually more reserved. Her c
urrent position was as a bartender, but she definitely seemed very type-A personality. That side of her nature mirrored Colin’s.
I edged my way further into the room. “I’m sure you guys already have plans, so I’ll go unpack.”
“Plans? Not exactly.” Maddy reached for the duffel she’d dropped, but Colin went and picked it up along with my suitcase. He moved them easily down the hallway to the guestroom.
He returned a moment later smiling. He could act tough, but he loved seeing me.
“Then what should we do? Want to go out for a drink, or watch a movie or something?” I threw out suggestions, wanting to keep things fun.
Maddy tried to stifle a yawn. “I was thinking about baking something.”
“Baking?” Colin and I asked in unison.
Maddy laughed. “Ok, you two sound related right now. Why are you surprised?”
“You don’t bake,” Colin said matter of factly as he pulled his t-shirt on over his head.
Maddy put a hand on her jean clad hip. “Brody’s teaching me. He’s given up on the cooking, but he thinks I have some ability when it comes to baking. I like it. It’s more of a science.”
I made myself at home on one of Colin’s couches. “Oh yeah. Brody’s a chef, right?” Brody was one of Maddy’s two roommates. I’d only met him once but he’d seemed cool.
Maddy sat down next to me. “Yeah. He’s amazing. He’s also a good baker, but it’s not his specialty.”
I stretched, I’d spent entirely too long in my car. “Not only do you live with attractive guys, but one can cook. You’re a lucky girl.”
Colin scowled. “And you wonder why I’m frustrated she hasn’t fully moved in yet?”
Maddy gasped. “You told Carly that!”
The Hazards of Sleeping With a Friend Page 18