by Jordan Marie
“That’s a smart woman,” Jansen says, staring at the door as if he can still see Ida Sue standing there.
“She wants me to get Kayla pregnant.”
“That doesn’t sound like a job a man would hate,” Jansen notes.
“Of course not. Kayla’s sweet, but we don’t have that kind of relationship.”
“That’s a damn shame. Still, the love of a good woman changes a man. Maybe she’ll make that idiot Tommy gain a few more brain cells and it will all turn out okay. Guess I better get out to work. Those cows don’t fence themselves in.”
I ignore him, staring out the window and wondering how I can save Kayla from herself. The idea of her marrying Tommy is wrestling around in my gut like poison. She’s too good for that prick. Why are Mom and Jansen so calm about it? Can’t they see that Kayla is destroying her life?
I’ve got to figure out how to talk some sense into her—and fast.
CHAPTER 3
KAYLA
I keep looking at the reflection in the mirror, hoping that what I see reflected back might change. My brown dishpan-water-colored curly hair is frizzy today. It doesn’t matter what I do; the humidity is winning the battle. I really should have stayed away from the pint of orange sherbet I ate after talking with White on the phone two days ago because it’s not doing my hips a bit of good. I bought this dress for the meet-the-family dinner tonight. And it might have said my size, but it looks unbelievably tight and ill-fitting now. Surely I couldn’t have gained that much weight in a week.
I don’t know why I keep hyperventilating, but for some reason I do. Frumpy. That’s the word I associate with myself. Plain, brown, over-curly hair with brown eyes that are dull, and way too many curves and rolls along the highway I call my body. You would think after almost thirty years I would learn to like the woman who stares back at me in the mirror. Most days I do. At least I like the woman on the inside. As for the outside, there have been too many men that have whittled away at my self-confidence and made me feel less. Just less.
It probably doesn’t help that the one man I love and will always love has never seen me as girlfriend material. We’re friends. He’s my best friend. His family is the only family I’ve ever known.
I have a half-sister who I’m not extremely close to. Rachel. Rachel is everything that I’m not. Beautiful with long-flowing straight blonde locks, skinny, able to fit into the latest hip fashions, and she is never socially awkward. Tonight, she would be fantastic in dealing with Tommy’s family. Me? I’d rather be on my couch in sweats watching movies and gorging myself on pizza—which might explain my hips.
Finally giving up—because honestly there’s nothing more I can do and I’m going to be ten minutes late to meet Tommy and his family at Rodrigo’s Restaurant as it is—I move from the mirror to find my heels. I love them. At least they will look great. I wouldn’t be so nervous if I wasn’t showing up all alone for a family dinner. Truthfully, I don’t have anyone to bring. Rachel and I barely talk and that was before I found out she slept with White. Now, I’d just rather not deal with her at all.
Our mother died when I was sixteen. Eventually my stepfather took his real daughter and moved to Galveston. If not for Ida Sue, I probably would have wound up in an orphanage. She took me in, took the necessary classes to become a foster parent, and never once made me feel like anything less than her own child. Heck, she even called me Buttercup when I was little because she said the dark centers of the flower reminded her of my eyes. It didn’t make sense, but I was just grateful to belong.
I would have brought Ida Sue and Jansen with me tonight, but Tommy’s ex-wife Cynthia will be there. I’m pretty sure Ida Sue would end up in jail by the end of the night if I put her in the same room as Green’s ex. I wouldn’t be able to blame her. Actually, I probably would have cheered her on because I can’t stand Cynthia. I don’t like the fact that she’ll be at this dinner, but Tommy says that as the mother of his daughter she needed to be there because she’s part of his family. We fought about it a couple of times, but in the end, I gave in mostly because I got tired of listening to him justify it. It became clear that he wasn’t going to change his mind.
With a sigh, I shake away my thoughts. I’ve put it off long enough. I walk to the door, gather my small purse, wrap, and the keys lying on the small table by the door. I take a deep breath to try and steady my nerves, then open the door.
A small gasp of surprise leaves my lips when I find White standing there looking devastatingly handsome in black casual slacks and a Kelly green pullover. His sandy-brown hair is a little on the shaggy side with small curls around the ends. Everything about this man always makes me happy. The fact that his hair looks rumpled and in need of a cut only makes him more appealing.
“White! What are you doing here?” I whisper so quietly I’m surprised he can hear me. I wasn’t ready to face him this soon.
“We need to talk, Kayla. Fuck, you look beautiful.”
His compliment takes me aback. I’m not used to him talking like that—especially about me.
“Um… okay. Is something wrong?”
“How come I’ve never seen you dress like this before?”
“Because we never go anywhere other than Hooters or the movies. Actually, we hardly ever leave our apartments together. I’d look pretty silly wearing a dress for that.”
“If I’d known you had shoes like that, I would have made sure we went somewhere just so I could see you in them,” he says, staring at my feet.
I look down at the black stilettoes I’m wearing—that even I have to admit are pretty spectacular. Still, his response is annoying.
“Can we forget about your previously unknown shoe fetish and instead concentrate on why you’re here before you make me late?”
“I’m here to take you to the family dinner.”
“I… you’re what?”
“Mom said you were having a family dinner with Tommy’s family tonight. We couldn’t let you show up without someone in your corner. Since I’m the one least likely to spear Cynthia with my steak knife during dinner, I was elected. Later on, you can explain to me why Tommy’s ex-wife is at the dinner.”
“But, you don’t want me to marry Tommy,” I tell him.
“I don’t,” he agrees. “But I care about you, Kayla. You have a family dinner and you need your people around you. You’re going to get it. All of us offered, but I didn’t figure you wanted your fiancé pissed because someone killed the mother of his child. So, you get me.”
“All of you?”
“All of us. Even Green.”
“Wow.”
“So are we ready? Where’s Tommy?”
“I’m meeting him there.”
“Shouldn’t he have picked you up? You are meeting his fucked-up family, after all.”
“It’s just a ten minute taxi ride, White. I offered to meet him there,” I tell him, leaving out the part that I really didn’t want to talk to Tommy either. I’ve been having second and third thoughts about this wedding, and they only seem to get worse after spending time with Tommy.
“Okay, then. We’ll take my car,” he says standing to the side and holding out his arm. “Come along, my lady. Your chariot awaits,” he jokes, his blue eyes sparkling with humor. This is the White I love—the White I fell in love with.
And this is the White I can’t think about—especially tonight. “You’re more than a little scary right now,” I tell him, not confessing why I find him so frightening.
Flustered, I turn and lock my door and then take White’s hand. It will be nice to have him there tonight. Tommy is a good person. Unfortunately, the rest of his family is more like Cynthia, and I’m dreading them more than I could ever say.
“Live dangerously, Buttercup,” he says, and I smile despite my nerves. With White’s help, I can make it through tonight. It’s good he’s here, even if it was a surprise.
CHAPTER 4
WHITE
“I just find it strange that my son’s fiancée is escorted
to a family dinner by another man,” Tommy’s mother says for the fourth time.
It’s all I can do not to ask the woman if she has short term memory loss. Kayla looks at me and I see the tension in her face and it pisses me off. Just as she’s about to placate the prissy bitch yet again, I decide to take control.
“I have to admit, Mrs. Haynes, I found it strange that Tommy decided not to escort Kayla to the dinner himself. But his oversight is my good luck. I guess I should be thanking you, Tommy. Though, you don’t want to leave a door like that open too many times. You might find a man has swooped in and taken her away from you. Women like Kayla are hard to find.”
I hear a few gasps around the table. Tommy is looking at me and I can’t tell if he’s upset or not. He’s been pretty withdrawn this whole night. I can’t for the life of me figure out what Kayla was thinking, hooking up with him. Kayla’s coughing catches my attention. She’s putting her glass down, obviously choking on the wine.
I put my hand on her back and pat lightly. “You okay, Buttercup?”
“Buttercup?” blurts Mrs. Haynes.
Before I can answer, Kayla has settled her coughing and speaks up, though her voice is a little tight and winded. “White’s mother gave me that nickname when I came to live with them. She had named all of her girls after flowers and she didn’t want me to feel left out.”
“So you two are… step-siblings?”
“Exactly—”
“—Not at all,” I say at the same time, talking over Kayla. Her eyes go huge in disbelief, to which I just grin.
“I’m afraid I’m back to not understanding the dynamic here.”
“Kayla belongs to our family. She’s one of us. But I don’t know of a man who could look at a woman as beautiful as her and think of her as a sister if they aren’t blood related,” I tell Mrs. Haynes, but I’m not looking at her. I’m looking at Kayla—a Kayla who looks like she wants to strangle me.
“White, will you quit joking around? I’m sorry, Mrs. Haynes. White has problems realizing he’s not always as funny as he thinks he is.”
“I see,” she responds.
“Not really. I just don’t like the idea that someone doesn’t value what he has in Kayla,” I interrupt again, looking straight at Tommy.
Tommy puts his fork down and looks me in the eye. I’ll grudgingly give him bonus points for that.
“I know her value,” he states. “It’s why I asked her to marry me. I wasn’t stupid enough to have her around for years and not notice how special she is.”
Fucking prick. I see the self-satisfied way he’s looking at me. My mother’s words come back to mind, but I shut them down. Kayla and I do not have that dynamic. I’m not having kids. I can’t give her what she wants. Besides, even thinking about Kayla like that would ruin our friendship. That absolutely can’t happen.
“I think it’s time we change the subject,” Kayla says, and her voice is filled with an unspoken warning. I want to push it, but when I see her face, I stop. I’m here to support her and maybe shine a light on what a loser Tommy Haynes is.
“I’d like to know why Kayla inspires a pissing match,” Cynthia says, rather bored.
“Cynthia,” Tommy’s mother chastises.
“What? I find it a legitimate question,” she says, looking at her nails as if she’s bored. Maybe she is. From what I know of Cynthia, if she isn’t the center of attention, she’s not interested.
“I think I’ve had enough of the family togetherness,” Tommy says, his voice tight.
“Oh, is little Tommy put out because I don’t like his little girlfriend? I’ve already warned you that if you insist on going through with this marriage, our daughter will not be allowed to stay with you. I don’t want that bitch anywhere near my child,” Cynthia says.
“I see you’re as charming as ever, Cynthia,” I say, looking at her. “Did you insist on being here tonight just to make everyone miserable?” Every time I see her I’m reminded of the hell she put my brother through. I can’t stand her.
“Fuck you, White. If it wasn’t for your brothers and that crazy mother of yours, Green and I would have been fine.”
“Gee, you don’t think it had something to do with the fact that you cheated on him with his coach and at least three other men?”
“I don’t think this is something we should be talking about tonight. Tonight is about—” Tommy starts, and I decide to turn my attention to him. It’s his fault really, the fucker should have kept quiet.
“You don’t think that’s something we should discuss? Could that be because you were one of the men she was screwing while my brother was busting his ass in the minors just so he could get called back up?”
“I think we’ve had enough…” Mrs. Haynes starts.
“White,” Kayla begins.
“I didn’t realize they were still married at the time,” Tommy defends, but if the motherfucker thinks I buy that shit, he’s crazy.
“Of course Green would never have gotten called back to the majors if he hadn’t found out his dear, sweet wife was the village bicycle and everyone around was taking turns pedaling her.”
“You bastard,” Cynthia cries.
My eyes should have been on her, but they aren’t; they’re glued to the bastard who is trying to put his claim on Kayla.
“Were you in on it, too? Helping her arrange it so the coach would give Green every shitty gut-punch he could to keep him away from home? All so you could get the bitch to—”
I’m cut off when Cynthia slaps me across the face. I rub the corner of my mouth where I can feel a sting of blood—probably from that rock she’s wearing on her finger. I wonder what idiot was stupid enough to give her that. Hopefully not my brother.
“I think my work is done here. Kayla, you going home with me or are you staying here?” I ask, getting up.
I’m watching her closely. In my head, I’m urging her to pick me. She jerks her head to look at me. I see panic and stress in her face, and I hate that I put it there, but I need her to see these assholes for who they are. I need her to see who the fuck Tommy is. I mean, what kind of numb-nuts invites his ex to a dinner where his fiancée meets his parents?
C’mon, Kayla. Kick them off like dirt on your shoe. Come with me. Come home to me.
“My fiancé will be staying with me where she belongs,” Tommy answers, wrapping his hand around Kayla. It takes all I’ve got not to tear the fucker away from her and throw him into the wall. The only thing that stops me is Kayla’s gentle voice.
“Tommy will bring me home, White.”
Fuck. Shit. Damn.
I push away from the table, shoving the table back a good foot and spilling food on Tommy’s parents. I walk away without a second glance. I told Mom and Jansen this was a stupid idea. I should have let Cyan come instead, but I thought I could use it as a way to get through to Kayla. Instead, I probably pushed her further away and into Tommy’s waiting arms.
And son of a bitch, if it doesn’t cut like a motherfucker that she didn’t leave with me tonight. Why does it feel like Mom’s right and I’m already losing her?
CHAPTER 5
KAYLA
“Do you realize it’s seven in the morning?”
I yawn, opening my front door to see White standing there holding a white paper bag and two large cups, which I’m praying contain coffee.
“You always get up early,” he defends, pushing his way inside. I sigh and close the door behind him. It appears I have early morning company.
“It’s Saturday,” I half-grumble and half-yawn. “Besides that, I’m not sure I want to talk to you after last night.”
“Your future in-laws are fuck wads.”
“You still didn’t have to go off like you did. I hope that’s coffee,” I tell him, reaching for one of the cups.
“Two sugars and cream.”
I ignore him, take a drink, and close my eyes as the caffeine begins to infiltrate my veins. If coffee is a drug, I’m a total addict. “Heaven.”
“A man could be jealous of that cup,” White says, and when I open my eyes, he’s looking at me strangely.
“What’s going on with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re acting all weird. Then there was the chaos of last night, and now you’re showing up at 7 a.m. with coffee and… oh my God! Are those Bavarian cream-filled doughnuts?”
“Your favorite, if I remember correctly, Buttercup.”
“Am I dying?” I ask as I bite into pure confectionary heaven.
“No one knows you like I do, Kayla. No one ever will,” he says with an odd look on his face.
His words hit this part in my stomach that literally hurts and then leaves it raw. My hand goes there almost in defense as I feel the burning bloom and curl around me, entering my bloodstream. He’s right. No one has ever known me like White does. We’ve been best friends since high school and, as much as it hurt to be in love with my best friend, the terror of not having him at all has kept me from ever telling him how I really felt. White is gorgeous. Women would flock to him regardless. Being a football god just makes it that much worse. He’s way out of my league. Not even in my zip code, honestly. Plus, White doesn’t do relationships. He’s horrible at them. The longest one he ever had lasted two months. Usually by the second week, he becomes so bored that he’s inventing reasons to stay away from them. By week four, he averages seeing them once a week with sporadic phone calls. By the second month, only the really stupid women are still hanging around, and he always sends them flowers with a note that says, in essence: “It’s not you—it’s me.”
The idea of ever becoming one of those women would kill me. I’d rather have my buddy than nothing at all… or I always had. But, now I’m tired of always being on the outside looking in. I don’t want to be the woman who was in love with a man she could never have, and because of that, failed to have kids and a family of her own. I want a home. A real home. A life I never had growing up until Ida Sue steamrolled her way in.