by Jordan Marie
Then I'm in my car, the engine idling and my GPS set for the Lucas farm. I might be in love with White Hall Lucas, but no one is ever going to tell me what I can and cannot do—even him.
CHAPTER 30
WHITE
"Where the hell is my woman?"
"Well, hello to you too," Green says, and he's grinning in a way that makes me want to smash his face in.
"Fuck you. Where's my woman?" I growl, brushing by him and looking around his living room only to find the place empty.
"Come on in, please," Green mutters, but I can still hear the laughter in his voice—the asshole. "And I didn't know you had a woman."
"Kayla," I grate through clenched teeth. He doesn't know how close he's coming to getting his ass kicked.
"Kayla? I thought she was just your buddy, your pal."
"Fuck you," I repeat because I'm lame and have no fucking comeback. I just want my woman. I want to bend her over my knee and spank her ass and maybe after I calm down, fuck it. Maybe before.
"You seem a little tense, brother."
"Are you done with your fun yet? Are you going to tell me where Kayla is or not?"
"Haven't seen her," he says and he's looking at me head-on, so I know he's not lying.
"Shit. I thought for sure she'd be here. She's not answering her phone."
"Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you?" Green suggests, sitting on the couch. I follow, picking the chair across from him. I rake my hands through my hair, feeling completely on edge. I can't ever seem to pin this woman down. Just when I think I can breathe easy, she does something else.
"Probably not," I sigh. "She ran away while I was sleeping."
"Kayla's always been pretty levelheaded. You running away, I could understand."
"The only running I've been doing is in circles, chasing after her," I confess, truthfully.
"Well that's different."
"Everything about Kayla is different."
"What was the big fight about?"
"It wasn't a fight, well not really. I forbade her to do something and I'm pretty sure she's going to prove she can do what she wants."
"Women don't like to be told what to do, that's for damn sure."
"Learned that through your vast experience, have you?"
"Do you know you're a smart-ass?”
"I've been told."
"Whatever. I know my history with women sucks. You don't have to rub it in. At least I have Allen out of it."
"Can't deny that. He's a good kid, but Kayla is not teaching him."
"That's not what she says."
"That's where our misunderstanding is," I tell him, raking my hand over the side of my face. “She’s not going on the road with you,” I growl. “I can’t handle it. The damn woman is already driving me to drink.”
I wince as I stretch my arm a little too much. I hope against hope that Green doesn't notice it, but I know I'm not going to get off that easy.
"Your shoulder's not healing." He says it quietly and it's not a question. He might be in a different sport, but he knows the score. He understands better than any of my brothers would, except maybe Gray. I rub the shoulder in reflex, grimacing.
"No. It's not. The last report wasn't good at all. I go back on the first of next month to check the range of motion and flexibility."
"What are all of the doctors saying?"
"Not a lot. They're going to try and put me in a cryogenic chamber next month and see if that will stimulate healing. Black mentioned it and I was stupid enough to bring it up to the team doctor."
"Fuck. That shit is painful."
"You've had it done?"
"Nah, a buddy on the team did last year. He says he still feels ice cubes on his fucking balls."
"I've heard the same. Still I have to try something. I'm not going to be able to play again like this."
"Maybe it's time to hang up the jersey."
"I’ve been thinking about it. Just not sure what comes next."
"You have options, man."
"Yeah, but I love football."
"There's other things to love," he says, and for some reason Kayla's face comes to mind.
"Would you give it up?"
"What? Baseball?"
"Yeah."
"In a heartbeat if I had a reason and if I couldn't play anymore. I could walk away without regrets."
"That's the kicker right there. Regrets."
"Do you have any?"
"A lot. Right now, I'm not sure they revolve around football though."
"And that brings you back to Kayla."
"Pretty much."
"I see what you mean about the circles," Green jokes and I shrug.
"I guess I better go find her. My luck, she's at Blue's."
"Why is that bad?" Green asks as we get up and walk towards the door.
"Because then I'd have to kill my brother."
"Finally found out he asked Kayla out?"
"You knew?"
"All of us did. Blue's quiet, but he knows what he wants. He sees in Kayla the kind of woman he wants long-term. You can't argue; Kayla's a hell of a woman," Green says as we make it to the door.
"That she is."
"Let me know if you find her."
"Will do," I tell him, turning away and trying to figure out where to turn next.
"Oh, and White?"
"Yeah?" I ask, looking over my shoulder.
"I'm going to fight to keep her as Allen's teacher. Just so you know."
"It's not happening."
"We'll see," he says, shutting the door behind me. I dismiss him from my mind. I need to figure out where to go next. It's past supper time and I haven't had dinner. I'll swing by Mom’s and get some leftovers. Maybe Mom has heard from Kayla.
CHAPTER 31
KAYLA
"Hello?"
"Hey, baby girl. White was just here looking for you. He didn't seem real happy."
"I didn't figure he would be," I tell Green with a sigh. "Did you tell him where I was?"
"I told him I hadn't seen you, which technically I haven't, but…"
"He's headed here.”
“Probably,” he laughs.
“It's okay. I expected it,” I tell him, and I did. I mean, I ran away to his mom's. Probably because in my heart, I didn't want to get away from him.
"Listen, if working with Allen is going to cause you two issues—"
"He's being unreasonable. He's worried about me going on the road. It'll be fine. It's four or five months away. He'll get used to it by then."
"You're sure?"
"Positive. You know as well as I do, you can't let White make every decision; he's too damn bossy."
"I hear some women like that kind of thing," Green says, and just the memory of the sex that White and I shared earlier makes my insides quake.
"Goodbye, Green."
"I still can't believe you put me on your list."
"I should have never told you."
"Oh, but just think of the fun I'll have with White about it."
"Dear God, are all you Lucas boys giant kids?"
"Bye, baby girl. See you tomorrow."
"Bye, Green," I say, laughing.
"That fucker knew you were here?" White demands from the front door.
So much for advance warning. "White Hall! Watch your mouth!" Petal yells from across the room. Her son, River, is with her building houses with blocks and she is not happy when one of her brothers uses bad language around them—which is often.
"He knew you were here and didn't tell me? He lied to me. I'm going to string him up by his balls—"
"You asked him if he had seen me. Technically, he hadn't." I shrug, moving towards the kitchen. I figure this conversation might get a little more heated, and being out of Petal and River's ears is for the best.
"Why the fuck did you just leave like that?" White growls.
"I didn't feel like arguing with you and you were being stupid."
"So you thought you'd j
ust run away?"
"I didn't run, White. I left. I was planning on coming here tomorrow, anyway. For some reason, I wanted to talk to Green before you talked him out of hiring me."
"You're damn right I would have. You don't need to be—"
"The only objection you have to me working for your brother is that he was on a short list of suitable fathers."
"That's not the only—"
I sigh and walk to him, stretch up on the tips of my toes and kiss his lips to stop him. It's a quick kiss, there's nothing even remotely sexy about it. Unless you count the way his arms come around me to hold me. I steady myself on his upper arms as I pull away.
“I’m not looking for a potential father now. There’s no reason for you to be upset.”
“You had a crush on him,” he grumbles, sounding like a little kid who has had his favorite toy confiscated for being bad.
“White, that was ages ago and lasted a minute. I missed you,” I tell him in complete honesty.
“Then you shouldn’t have left. There were things we had left to discuss.”
“Is ‘discuss’ code for sex here?”
“Maybe,” he says, and his lips spread into a smile as he relaxes. I can feel the tension leave him.
“Then maybe we can discuss things later,” I tell him and this time I know it’s not my imagination that his hands bite into my hips as we stand there. Suddenly out of nowhere it hits me that White thinks I’m pretty. It’s there in the way he’s looking at me, and the smile on his face. It’s in the way he’s holding me, and the way he’s jealous over his brother. To a woman who has never felt particularly pretty in her entire life, this discovery is life-altering.
“What you two better be discussing is why no one told me about my grandkid you are hatching!”
My head goes down with a wince and I close my eyes. I’ve told Ida Sue that I’m not pregnant. She’s either completely tuning me out or thinks I’m lying. I hear White’s matching groan of frustration and feel his fingers bite into my hips again. There’s definitely going to be bruises there tomorrow.
“Mom, I told you. Kayla’s not pregnant.”
“Then what was all the crap in the papers?”
“Someone who knew me saw us standing in front of the clinic and snapped a picture, Ida Sue. She sold it for money. I promise you, if I was pregnant I would tell you.”
“What a fur-burger,” she grumbles. “White, what were you doing at the clinic anyway if you hadn’t knocked up my girl?”
“Fur-burger?” I repeat, mostly dumbfounded. I’m used to Ida Sue. It’s just I’ve never heard of that particular term before.
“Yes, dear. You know a hairy twat. A fur-burger.”
“I want a fur-burger!” Little River says, coming in with Petal and Petal’s face goes pale as a ghost.
White loses it, laughing into the back of my neck as he pulls me into him.
“With the way the boys in this family are, you probably will someday,” Petal mumbles, and this time I have to bite my lip to keep from joining White in laughing.
“You don’t want one. How about a regular hamburger instead?” Ida Sue says, bending down to the little boy.
“No, thanks. Daddy is coming to take me to dinner. We’re gonna have pizza!”
“Yay. When’s Puke-a getting here,” Ida Sue mutters.
“His name is Luka and can you please be civil about him around River? He is his father,” Petal whispers.
“He’s not paying attention to me,” Ida Sue says, and it’s true since the little boy in question has moved to the other side of the room and is petting a dog.
“Still, Mom. You know better. Luka is a part of our lives.”
“I didn’t choose that. I remember telling you from day one you were making a mistake with that one.”
“Did you ever think that if you had lightened up on Luka, we might have made it?”
“Don’t go blaming me for the reason your marriage ended. The fact that Luka was cozying up with his new female deputy had a lot more to do with that than me.”
“I don’t want to talk with you about this,” Petal sighs. “I’m going to get River ready to see his dad.”
“Fine with me. I’d rather not think about that idiot. It will ruin my appetite. Besides, I’d much rather know what Kayla and White were doing outside a family planning clinic.”
“They give out rubbers at those things too, Mom,” White sighs.
“Nice try, dear. But I’m not buying that since Kayla here wants a baby and we all know that.”
“Mom, you ever start to think that maybe none of this is your business?”
“White,” I complain, because I don’t want to hurt Ida Sue. Ida Sue is just Ida Sue. She’s a force to be reckoned with, sure, and she can definitely be overbearing. The thing is, however, when it comes to hearts and being there for people she loves, she would lay down her life without even blinking.
“It’s okay, Buttercup. If my own son wants to treat me like I don’t matter. If he wants to disrespect me and break my poor heart…”
“Oh for Christ’s sake. We went to the clinic to get tested,” White says, exasperated, and I feel heat flood through me.
“Tested? What on Earth for?”
“Diseases.”
“Don’t be an idiot!” Ida Sue says, hitting him lightly with her hand. “I meant what on Earth would you be worried about that for? Did you catch something from one of those football groupies that follow you around? I swear, I warned you and Green both, women like that would end up giving you something to cause your dicks to rot off. Thank God, Buttercup is smarter than to go into things blindly.”
“I don’t have anything. Jesus, Mom. Kayla just wanted to make sure we were both healthy before we started…”
“Started?” Ida Sue says, and I swear she’s grinning.
“White,” I say, trying to stop him, but it doesn’t do any good. I knew it wouldn’t, but it couldn’t hurt to try.
“Kayla wants a baby,” White says and the way he says it causes my stomach to drop. Kayla wants a baby. He said we’re going to try to have a baby, not we’re going to start a relationship. Kayla wants…
The decision to stay on birth control seems smarter and smarter. Now, if I could just work through the guilt.
CHAPTER 32
WHITE
"You okay, honey?"
"Yeah. Why do you ask?"
"You just seem awful quiet. I'm worried about you," I tell Kayla. We had a sandwich together and visited with my crazy family for a little while and now we're back in my room. I was afraid Kayla would insist on staying in her old room, but she hasn't.
"I'm just tired, White," she says with a smile. I want to believe her, but something seems off. Instead of pushing it, I just let it go. I'll figure it out eventually. Right now, I'm just really glad I have her in my arms.
"Where do you think Mom went off to in such a hurry?"
"No idea, though she mentioned needing to go to the grocery store," Kayla says, walking away to go into the bathroom.
"This late at night?" I voice my doubts, yanking my shirt over my head and throwing it on the ground. I stretch out on the bed, picking up the remote and start sifting through the channels.
"Who knows? Ida Sue is special."
"That's one way of putting it."
"Lay off your Mom. You're blessed and you know it."
"I do, doesn't mean she doesn't scare the hell out of me sometimes," I answer as Kayla comes in from the bathroom, wearing a long t-shirt that has the name of Green's baseball team on it. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"
Kayla rubs lotion on her hands and stops with a confused look on her face, like she doesn't know what I'm talking about. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe I am being unreasonable. But Jesus, it's like she's begging me to spank her ass.
"What are you going on about now? I swear you harp more than a fifty-year-old woman who's going through menopause."
"Umm, honey, talking like that right there, is way t
oo much like my Mom. Try to nip that shit in the bud."
"Whatever. You, White Hall Lucas, are a whiner."
"Oh, I are, are I?"
"You are."
"Come down here and I'll show you a whiner."
"Maybe I don't want to. You might bitch about the size of my hands or something," she huffs, standing over me. I reach up and pull her until our bodies collide and she’s lying on top of me.
God. How do you go your whole life without touching someone in any sexual way—without even thinking of them like that—only to learn that your arms are empty without them? Worse, you're missing something extremely vital without them.
"I love the size of your hands. I think they're perfect," I tell her bringing her hand up to my lips and kissing it. The taste of her skin mingles with a hint of the cherry flavoring in the lotion. Kayla.
"Perfect?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Mmm… hmm… Just right to stroke my cock and squeeze it tight..."
"Pervert," she mutters, shaking her head, but she kisses my hand that's holding hers.
I slowly bring my hands down her body, once again memorizing the feel and shape of her. I move slowly, taking my time, rewarded by a small sigh of pleasure as Kayla settles against me, laying the side of her face against my chest. I don't stop until my fingers are around the edge of the shirt she's wearing. Then I slowly begin to gather the ends in my hands, distracting her by letting my thumb brush back and forth around the back of her leg, driving up to the globe of her ass.
"White!" she squeals. Once I get the shirt gathered, I waste no time in moving it up and over her body, holding her still as best as I can so we both don't end up in the floor. "What are you doing? I'm not sleeping naked in your mother's bed!"
"I wasn't planning on sleeping at all," I tell her honestly.
"I'm not having sex in your mother's bed either!"