Raging Heart On: Friends to Lovers Romance (Lucas Brothers Book 2)

by Jordan Marie

  “I love you, Kayla.”

  “White—”

  “I know we have shit to work through, Buttercup, and we will. But you have to know that I love you.”

  “I’m not sure what I know anymore,” she whispers, looking up at me.

  “We’ll get through this, Kayla. We just have to hold on and get you healthy.”

  “Maybe I was right all along and we’re just not meant to be together.”

  “Bullshit. Do you love me?”

  “Of course I do, but…”

  “And Kayla, no matter what you think, I love you.”

  “White…”

  “I love you.”

  “Maybe love’s not enough.”

  “Maybe it’s everything.”

  “I’m scared, White.”

  “Believe it or not, honey, I am too. But I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You don’t? But what about Rachel and—”

  “I never slept with Rachel. I don’t know her game, but I can tell you that. I think it’s time you and I talked everything out and made a plan.” Kayla looks me over for a minute, completely silent. I almost feel as if I’m holding my breath. Then slowly she shakes her head in agreement, and all I can feel is relief.

  CHAPTER 59

  WHITE

  “What the fuck are you doing here, Rachel?”

  “We needed to talk. Are you drinking?” she asks.

  I look down at the shot of whiskey in my hand. “So what if I am? Jesus, with the week I’ve had, I deserve a drink.”

  “Kayla really took you for a ride, didn’t she?”

  “You could say that,” I tell her, looking her over. I’ve never liked her a lot, but how the fuck could I not see how fake she was before now?

  “Did you really break up with her?”

  “I’m not wasting my time on a lying bitch,” I growl, finishing my drink. I doubt she will see the truth or the irony in that statement. I’m staring at the biggest lying bitch I’ve ever met. After my talk with Kayla yesterday though, I have one goal: to make Rachel tell me what her damn game is. With that in mind, I do my best not to get up and choke her. I’ve never hurt a woman in my life, but damn if she doesn’t tempt me.

  “Kayla always causes drama. I tried to maintain a friendship with her because we are sisters, even if it’s only half, but we’re just different kinds of people.”

  “I can see that. You two are nothing alike,” I tell her. Jesus, truer words have never been spoken.

  “Thanks, White. I guess we have a lot to talk about.”

  “Not really.”

  “We need to discuss the baby.”

  “We’re not having a baby. I don’t know what your game is, Rachel, but you need to cut the shit.”

  “White—”

  “Whatever game you’re playing needs to stop. I don’t know who’s the father of that baby you’re carrying, but I know it’s not me.”

  “You’re wrong. We—”

  “We did nothing. Even if I had wanted to, and I did not, I was too drunk that night to do anything.”

  “Then how do you explain this?” she asks, her hand petting the prominent curve of her stomach.

  “Fuck if I know. It’s probably not immaculate conception, so I figure you found some idiot to knock you up.”

  “You’re being crude.”

  “That’s who I am.”

  “No, it’s not, and I understand that, White. You were looking for a child and a marriage and I can give you that. I can give you that better than Kayla ever could.”

  “I—”

  “I’m serious, White,” she interrupts. “I fit into your life better than Kayla ever could. I’ve been in the world more. Your lifestyle is the kind that I live daily. I know how to be exactly what you need not only in bed, but in your career. I can help you advance and network.”

  “My career?”

  “Exactly. You want to be the star quarterback in Dallas. I can help make that happen. The woman in your life is a reflection on you when it comes to your bosses and the general managers of other teams. I know how to fit in and behave, to make you proud. Kayla would only ever embarrass you.”

  “You have it all figured out, don’t you, Rachel?”

  “I do.”

  “You forgot one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I no longer play football.”

  “What? Of course you do! You’ve just been on—”

  “Medical leave, and as of yesterday, that was made permanent. The shoulder is never going to be game-ready again. So there is no big team dinners, no networking to be done, no hopes of ever being the best quarterback in Dallas.”

  “What are you going to do? You need to talk to the doctors and make sure they know how important this is!”

  “But it’s not.”

  “It’s not?”

  “Without Kayla, none of it is important. She’s the love of my life.”

  “You’re not going to be playing football anymore?”

  “Hell no. You’re looking at a washed-up has-been,” I tell her, finding a certain amount of satisfaction in the look on her face.

  “What will you do?”

  “Do?”

  “For a job?”

  “I’m going to take up ranching and help Blue.”

  “Well, I mean, with what you made in the past, I’m sure you’re not really hurting for money, so I guess whatever makes you happy. But you’re not cut out to stay in the backwoods.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. I don’t care if I ever step foot into the city again.”

  “But…”

  “None of this is your business, Rachel. You really need to leave. I’ve got more important things to do, like visit the outhouse.”

  “I don’t remember you being so crass before.”

  “You weren’t trying to fuck up my life before. What I don’t understand is what you could possibly hope to gain from this shit. You and I both know there’s no way I could be the father of your kid.”

  “You were drunk.”

  “Drunk enough to pass out, not fuck.”

  “You could have—”

  “Besides, my dick hasn’t fallen off, and I’m pretty sure if it got anywhere near you that it would have.”

  “I’m going to leave. I obviously can’t talk to you when you’re in this mood.”

  “Before you go, here,” I tell her, handing her the envelope that I’ve been staring at for the last thirty minutes.”

  “What’s this?” she asks, taking it from me.

  “You’ve just been served.”

  “What? What are you talking about?”

  “Those are from my attorney. If you insist on this shit, then you better fucking believe I’m going to be demanding DNA, medical records, everything.”

  “I thought you didn’t believe we slept together!”

  “I know we didn’t, but you’re so fucked up that I wouldn’t put it past you climbing on me while I was asleep… dreaming about your sister. So let’s get this clear. Whatever game you’re playing, it’s not going to work.”

  “You can’t get DNA while I’m carrying the baby.”

  “I can when you get so far along, and believe me, Rachel, I’m big enough of a bastard to demand that.”

  “I’ll fight it.”

  “I wonder between the two of us who can afford to fight the longest.”

  “You bastard.”

  “Glad you’re starting to figure that out,” I tell her and watch as she sizes me up and then walks out the door. I didn’t get what I wanted, but it’s a start.

  CHAPTER 60

  KAYLA

  I have to sit down. It’s physically impossible to remain standing. I fall back in the chair.

  “Without Kayla, none of it is important. She’s the love of my life.”

  “You okay, Kay?” I look over at Black and there’s a million and one things I should be concentrating on, but the only thing I can say, the only thing that I can compr
ehend right now is…

  “He loves me.”

  “He does.”

  “Maybe he just said it because I was listening?” I question, then immediately get mad at myself. White’s not like that. If he said it, he means it. He loves me as much as I love him.

  “Kayla, honey, you have to start having confidence in yourself. In White. You’re selling yourself and him way too short. You’re an amazing woman and my brother finally has a brain.”

  “I know he loves me. I’ve always known that. But there’s a difference in being in love with someone and loving them.”

  “Are you finally believing White truly loves you?”

  “I was before this mess. After his visit in the hospital and our small talk, I think I still do. It’s just hard, Black.”

  “Does he know you’re pregnant?” Black asks.

  My eyes go wide and I exhale a loud breath. My hand goes to my stomach and I rub it. There’s no sign of a child yet, but somewhere in there is a little miracle that’s a part of White and a part of me, growing and getting stronger every day.

  “How did you know?”

  “Mom.”

  “I should have known she couldn’t keep a secret.”

  “She just told me because she wanted me to watch out for you. She’ll keep your secret—for a while. You’re going to have to tell my brother. He deserves to know. He thinks you’ve been on birth control all this time.”

  “I know. I plan on telling him. I’m still trying to digest it all. I don’t know how it happened…”

  “Kayla, sweetheart, you two have been going at it like bunnies.”

  “Yeah, but I thought…”

  “What’s the big deal? You two wanted a child, even if you didn’t realize how serious White was. You should be celebrating that little peanut you’re carrying in there.”

  “I am. I mean, I’m very happy, it’s just… White is busy trying to figure out what my sister is up to, and there’s so much going on between us. I just wish we had things settled beforehand… you know?”

  “So settle it. This crap with Rachel will come to a head quickly.”

  “It will? Because she’s not that far along. Your idea of quickly and mine…”

  “It won’t go that long. I’ve got a man on her now. All we have to do is follow her enough to find out exactly what’s going on.”

  “A man on her? Is that legal?”

  “She’s trying to blackmail my brother. It’s very legal. But regardless, other than the listening devices and a few other things, very little of the department’s resources are being used.”

  “Except the fact that you have a man on her…”

  “Luka volunteered.” Black grins. “But my boss would have sprung for it. When a star football player reports an attempt at blackmail, it’s taken very seriously.”

  “She hasn’t asked for money or anything, really…”

  “They don’t need to know that just yet. It’s all going to be okay, Kayla. You just need to have faith in yourself and White.”

  “That’s easier said than done. I mean, not about White. I love him. It’s just—”

  “Kayla I get you went through years of hell at the hands of your stepfather and Rachel. Plus, I’m sure it did things to you to have them leave you behind. But you are not a little kid now. You’re a grown woman who worked hard to put herself through school. You have friends, family, and love. You are not alone. If you had let us know, you wouldn’t have been alone then.”

  “It’s hard for me to wrap my head around certain things sometimes…”

  “Have you thought about counseling?”

  “Even after all these years?” I ask him, twisting my hands nervously.

  “It’s never too late and it’s clearly still causing you problems.”

  “I might check into it…”

  “Do it. You want to be healthy for that baby and my brother, but most of all, for yourself.”

  “Okay, Black.”

  “Good. Now how about we talk about the important stuff?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like naming my nephew Black Jr.,” he jokes, and I let out my first real laugh in days.

  CHAPTER 61

  KAYLA

  “Where’d she go?” White growls as he bursts into the room. His eyes are on Black, but when he sees me, I can feel the anger increase. Black and I are hugging because I was getting ready to leave, but with White here, I don’t try and leave. Instead, I walk over to him. He looks down at me and I’m acting on instinct, or maybe I’m just finally letting myself be completely truthful and honest, letting go of all the guards I have between us. I reach up on my tip-toes and wrap my arms around his waist. I give myself a second to breathe in the masculine scent that is all White and then I kiss his chin before burrowing my head into his chest.

  “I love you, White.” His arms go around me, and he tightens them in reflex at my words. I feel his chin settle against the top of my head.

  “I love you too, Buttercup.” It’s a simple exchange, but for now, it’s enough. I stay there in White’s arms. I think he needs it, but I do too.

  “I’m waiting for Luka to call,” says Black.

  “I appreciate you hanging your ass out like this for me, man.”

  “What are brothers for? Besides, they won’t fire me. I make them boys look good.”

  “Yeah, yeah, whatever, I appreciate it just the same,” White says, and the two look at each other and some unspoken moment goes between them.

  “I’m gonna go grab some coffee. You guys want anything?” Black asks, and I shake my head no while White orders up a coffee, too. The door closes. I hold my breath, wondering exactly how to talk with White and hating the fact that I’m the one responsible for the distance between us. White’s the first one to pull away and I hold my breath and wait.

  “Are you finally believing I’m not the father of that kid?”

  “I am. It would be kind of hard to doubt it with the lengths you and Black have gone to.”

  “Your sister is a bitch, Buttercup. She’s never coming around us when we get married. You need to make that shit clear. I hate to be an asshole here, but I’m going to demand you cut off all ties with her.”

  “Are we still getting married?”

  “Fuck yes. I know we got a lot of shit between us and a lot more to talk about, but I’m not letting you go, Kayla. I don’t understand some of your choices, but we’ll work past them,” he says, and he’s right. I rub my damp hands down my pants and take in a shaky breath.

  “We’ve known each other a long time, White,” I start. He doesn’t say anything but he does move to the chair Black was sitting in. Me? I let the wall hold me up and do my best to hold onto my rapidly failing courage. This may be one of the most important conversations I’ve ever had and the pressure to make him understand is huge. “I have been in love with you for so long, but I fell in love with the real White Hall Lucas, not the sports persona or the man in the news. I didn’t sugarcoat who you are, or try and pretend you didn’t have faults.”

  “Gee, Kayla, stop. You’re going to make me blush.”

  “You were a man-whore, a self-sworn bachelor for life, and you made no excuses for that, White.”

  “I explained why, too. I was a cynical bastard. I knew I’d never trust a woman. Hell, look at what your sister is doing! I think that proves my point.”

  “I get it, but how many times did you tell me over and over that you never wanted kids?”

  “Kayla—”

  “Even after we got together, White. I felt like you did it to try and save me or something.”

  “Well, you were planning crazy shit. Someone had to step up.”

  “Exactly. So here was White to the rescue, not because you returned my feelings, but because you cared about me and I was a responsibility.”

  “That’s bullshit.”

  “Was it? I don’t think you realize how many times you let it slip that you were giving me a baby.”

&nb
sp; “But…”

  “How many times you said ‘I’ll give you what you want. I’ll make sure to give you your baby.’”

  “I think you’re being unfair here. I don’t think I said those things, or if I did, at least not word-for-word and only at the very beginning.”

  “But those are the words that sunk in. Those are the words that I digested and the ones that made me decide to stay on birth control.”

  “So you’re saying it’s my fault you lied to me?”

  “No. That’s all on me, but you inadvertently helped.”

  “That still doesn’t explain why you let me go to the doctor and give a fucking sperm sample as well as a hundred other things.”

  “I should have spoken up sooner.”

  “Damn straight you should have.”

  “I know, and you may not believe this, but I really did try. I just always chickened out.” White takes a breath and releases it loudly in the room. He rubs his hand over his face and closes his eyes. It’s then that I see the small, scruffy beard he’s growing, the lines under his eyes from lack of sleep, and a hundred other things that I hadn’t taken the time to notice. “You look tired.”

  “I don’t sleep good without you in the bed.”

  “I don’t either.”

  “Tonight, you’re back with me.”

  “What about Rachel?”

  “I don’t give a fuck. I told you the baby is not mine. You just told me you believed me. We’ll wait it out and prove her wrong when the baby is born. I was only going after this so hard to prove it to you. I didn’t want you to have another reason to put distance between us.”

  “I don’t want distance, White. I love you.”

  “Then you’re in my bed tonight.”

  “I’m in your bed tonight,” I agree, and really giving in is easy because I need it even more than he does at this point.

  “Thank fuck for that at least.”

  “Is your career really over?” I ask, walking to him. He pulls me down on his lap.

  “Yeah. I’ve been facing it for a while now. I just didn’t want to admit it. I got the last doctor report back yesterday. I’m finished, Buttercup,” he says, his fingers tangling in my hair, and he holds me close.