by Jordan Marie
Whatever I do, I need to fucking do it fast. I can’t let her get hurt. That is not acceptable. I watch as the bastard takes his knife, cuts her shirt down the middle and exposes her breasts, putting his filthy hands on them and laughing. Tears fall from Tess’s eyes as she tries to pull away from him, but he doesn’t let her. Fuck it. I shake myself out of my dream world. It’s too late for me. Tess is all that matters.
I grasp the gun and step out into the open.
“I thought I told you, Hernandez, to never touch what’s mine.”
Hernandez looks shocked for a second and then the bastard gives that slimy smile I’d like to beat off his face. I just might before I leave here. In the corner of my eye, I can see Dweeb pulling for a gun, so I quickly shoot him in the arm. Dweeb cries out in pain and the gun drops. Hernandez cusses and takes Tess roughly, holding her in front of him like a shield and putting a knife against her throat.
I advance back towards Dweeb and make sure I kick his gun hard in the other direction. “Shut up your whining or I’ll shoot you again,” I growl when he doesn’t shut up.
“I don’t think you should be ordering anyone around, Gringo. That is; if you want your woman back in one piece,” Hernandez interjects.
“I thought I already warned you to stay away from my property, Hernandez.”
“What is it they say? Possession is nine-tenths of the law? Since I have possession, it would appear, that the puta is mine.”
“Thinking never was your strong point. Now you have about two minutes to give me my woman, and let us be on our way, or the only pussy you’ll ever get again will be in hell. Your choice.”
“Does your woman mean so little to you that you’d let me kill her, just so you can end me, Max?”
“I’ll put a bullet in you so fast it will make your motherfucking head spin.” I see him looking at me, measuring out my words, and I make sure my face stays impassive, giving nothing away.
“I just let go of your woman, and we call it even?”
“That’s the deal, but it’s getting ready to leave the table in another minute.”
“Except, how can we be even when you have wounded my friend there? Dweeb will just slow me down now and make me vulnerable. It seems I should be compensated somehow.”
“Fine,” I tell him and turn around and put a bullet between Dweeb’s eyes. Tess screams and jumps and the knife Hernandez is holding cuts just enough that a deep drop of red seeps and drips down her neck. It looks obscene against the milky white of her skin. “There, problem solved,” I tell him easily, doing my best to tune out Tess’s crying. Hernandez holds his hands up and backs away from Tess.
“Okay, gringo, I see you are serious about this one and…” I shoot him in the knee. And give him a sick smile as he falls to the ground. Tess screams again.
“Get behind me, Tess.” She looks at me, her face stark white and tracked with tears and there’s fear, real fear, staring back at me. My gut clenches. With everything that we’ve been through, I’ve never seen this look on her face. She’s afraid of me. Living in a fantasy has been nice, but it’s obvious that is over now. Still, she does as I order, giving me a wide berth, so she doesn’t get close to me. Knowing that, sits bitterly in my stomach.
“Fuck you, Maxwell! You said we were even!”
I shoot his other knee and walk towards him. “I lied. I warned you, Hernandez. No one touches what’s mine. You really should have listened.”
“I didn’t…”
He never gets the chance to finish his sentence because I shoot him again, making sure to end it quickly. Tess cries out again and as I’m turning around to face her she doubles over and retches, emptying the contents of her stomach. I go over to her and gather her in my arms as she heaves, holding her hair away from her face. When she’s done, she remains bent over and stiff in my arms, but she doesn’t pull away, so I guess that’s something.
I take the backpack off my shoulder and search in it to find a washing cloth and hand it to her. She stares at my hand for a minute and then takes it. Next, I hand her the canteen, and she rinses her mouth out and hands it back to me. All this happens without a word passing between us.
“Tess…”
“You shouldn’t have killed them,” she counters before I can say anything else.
“He shouldn’t have touched you!” I growl taking another cloth from the backpack and putting it on the still bleeding mark on her neck. She jerks away like I’m going to fucking hurt her, and that pisses me off.
“You can’t just kill people, Max. That’s not the way the world works!” She yells, holding the cloth to her neck.
“It’s the way my world works!” I counter, not exactly telling the truth, but she’s got me so pissed off I might as well let her have it all. I turn away from her and start dragging Hernandez’s body off the main path.
“And that’s why you’ve been rotting in jail! That is not a normal reaction! That is not what you do, Max! Violence is not the answer!”
“I warned you, Tess,” I growl as she follows me.
“About what? And what on Earth are you doing?”
“Disposing of the motherfucking body. Like I should have when I ended Renee’s boyfriend.”
“Oh my God,” she says and stops to look at me like she doesn’t know who I am. I guess she doesn’t.
“I warned you, Tess,” I tell her again. When I get to the edge of the swampy, riverbank, it’s polluted and stinks to high heaven. The stench is strong. It seems like a fitting end to someone who has led such a savage, horrendous life. I go through his pockets, seeing if he has anything useful, and I’m not really paying attention, so it surprises me when Tess speaks, standing right beside me.
“What did you warn me of, Max?”
“I warned you not to forget who I was. If you thought you had the answers and that sucking my cock was going to magically transform me into a fucking Prince Charming, that’s on you. I am, who I am. I am, who I’ve always been, and it doesn’t matter how good your fucking pussy tastes or if you can suck cock, like a pro. You aren’t changing me.”
She stares at me for a minute, and I see it coming, but I don’t even try to dodge when her hand connects with the side of my face. She might be little, but Tess knows how to deliver an open handed slap. I touch the stinging flesh, my eyes never leaving hers.
“That’s the only one you get, Kitten. Don’t do it again,” I caution her, and then I finish feeding Hernandez and Dweeb to the nearby gator population.
15
Tess
My mind is splintered in so many directions; I can’t even grasp a single thought that makes sense. I’m a mess. Max just killed not one, but two men. He was calculated and definitely cold-blooded. It was like he was someone else. No, he’s right. It wasn’t that he was someone else, it’s that my fantasies and the puppy-love crush on Max that made me romanticize who he is and what he has done in his life. There’s no way to romanticize what just happened. It was cold, ugly and horrifying. I think it may stay with me the rest of my days.
We’ve been walking for close to four hours. I know, because I keep looking at the man’s wind up watch that Max took from the dead man he called Dweeb. It’s silver, and looks uniform, and even I realize it most likely belonged to a prison guard. A prison guard, who more likely than not, is probably no longer alive. This is the world that I have been thrust into. This is the reality that came crashing down on me in such a huge, momentous way that I don’t know how to deal with it.
I get tired of trying to hold my clothes together and find another t-shirt of Max’s in the backpack and put it on to cover me, but I feel dirty. It doesn’t make sense because Hernandez did very little besides groping me, but it’s like he somehow marked me inside. Part of me is glad that Max killed him, and I don’t know how to react to that. That’s not the person I am. Or at least, it’s not the person I was. The woman who wanted to work in law, to make a difference for other kids growing up like I did. I’m upset, and though part
of it has to with Max and what he did, the bigger part has to do with me. He’s absolutely right. He did warn me not to forget who he was. The bigger problem is that being with him is showing me a new Tessa and I’m not sure how to deal with that, or even if I’m prepared to deal with it.
Max turns right off the trail that we’ve been following, and it’s on the tip of my tongue to question him and ask what we are doing, but I contain it. Talking to him, would mean opening the door to talk about other things, and I can’t handle that. I just can’t—at least not right now.
He finally stops in a wooded area that feels more than a little creepy. I look around and see nothing.
“Max, what are we doing?” I finally break down and ask.
“We’ll bed down here tonight, and then tomorrow I’ll take you into town and drop you off,” he tells me in a monotone voice. There’s no emotion, nothing coming from him. I rub my chest because the difference in him hurts me. I can’t blame him after my tirade. The more I think about what I said, the more I regret some of it. Not all, because it can’t be normal to think kill first in these situations. I’m so confused.
I go next to an old tree and slide down on my ass, letting it support my back. Max is a good twenty feet away from me, going through the backpack. He pulls out the wool blanket he’d rolled into a tight cylinder and tosses it at me. It lands at my feet, and I bend down to get it.
“You can lie on that, and use this to cover you as best you can,” he says without looking at me and tossing another large flannel shirt my way. Guess he’s not planning on sleeping with me tonight. That’s probably for the best. “We can’t have a fire, so I need you to sleep now. I’ll let you rest, and then we’ll start again using my flashlight,” he adds.
“But what about you?”
“One of us needs to make sure you don’t get eaten by a gator, snake or even a wild boar. Would you like for me to have a talk with one if it tries?”
I swallow hard at his words, trying to get the picture of that out of my head. “They’re animals, you can’t reason with them, so quit being an ass,” I huff back at him, fixing my makeshift bed.
“Hernandez and Dweeb were worse than any animal I’ve ever seen,” He says taking out the bag of jerky. It might have a bacon flavor, but it’s a long way from bacon. I reach over and take a couple of pieces when he holds the bag out, and then I turn my back to him. “Stay awake until I get back. Going to find some water.”
“Could I go with you?” I ask, hating that I’m asking him for anything when he’s mad at me.
“You’ll be fine here, Tess. Just stay alert,” he says already getting up to leave me.
“No, it’s not that, I mean I’d like to wash off, you know?
“Tess, you just had a bath, we don’t have the…”
“Max, he touched me. I need to wash, please?”
I glance up at him when I tell him the real reason I want the water, and I see his jaw clamp shut. His eyes darken, and I think he might deny me again. He doesn’t though. “Suit yourself,” he says and then starts walking further into the dense forest.
I follow him. I figure it’s okay since he didn’t forbid it outright. It feels weird that things are so stilted between Max and I. I don’t like it, but there’s not much I can do about it. He finds a small creek somehow. I have no idea how he manages to do the things he does. Maybe it is part of that soldier survival training or whatever. He fills up our canteens and then hands me a bar of soap. My hand shakes as I reach out to get it. How can he be so thoughtful one minute and a wild vigilante the next? How can he rock me with kindness when I have seen the deadliness that lurks just below the surface? I wait, but he doesn’t really move.
“Max, could you turn around?”
He studies my face, and I can feel my face heat from the scrutiny.
“So you can suck on my cock and ride my face, but I can’t watch you bathe and make sure you’re safe?”
“Just turn, Max,” I tell him, ignoring his blunt words. I can’t let myself think about that right now.
I think he’s tired of fooling with me because he turns. I waste no time taking my shirt off and washing everywhere Hernandez touched. I scrub hard, leaving the skin almost raw and red. You can’t tell I’ve been violated, but that’s exactly, what it feels like.
“Tess, sweetheart, you’re clean, come out of there, baby.”
The softness in his voice gets through the haze I’m in. I didn’t even realize I was crying until that moment. Max has the blanket he gave me earlier in his hands. He must have gone back and got it while I was washing. He wraps me up in it, and then picks me up in his arms and leads me back to our camp. I don’t protest; I don’t even think to protest. I’m pretty sure I’m in shock, and despite my confusion, I know one thing. I feel safe in Max’s arms, and right now I need to feel safe.
“Rest. I’ve got you.”
I’m crying harder, and as he settles us down on the ground, I curl back into him and burrow my head tight against his chest. I’m crying too hard to respond. Slowly I calm and concentrate on the way Max is combing my hair and the rhythm of his breathing.
“I’m sorry, Max.”
“It’s okay, Kitten. You were only telling the truth. Your world and mine they don’t mix. We both forgot that for a little while. It’s good we were reminded now, instead of later.”
“Max…”
“Go to sleep. We’ll travel when you wake, and by nightfall you’ll be in your own bed, and this will have just been a bad memory,” he says interrupting me.
“That’s not what I want,” I tell him and as confused as I am, I know that I don’t want to end things with Max like this. I’m not sure how it’s supposed to end, but not like this.
“Me either, but it’s how it has to be. Surely today showed you that if nothing else,” he replies and his voice sounds so monotone and final. We’ve gone too far, and there’s not going back. I have to acknowledge that. Max is right too, maybe our worlds don’t mix. My fantasies about Max Kincaid were just that…fantasies.
“I wish things were different. I’ll miss you so much. Goodnight, Max.”
He doesn’t say it back, and even that hurts. Just as I’m about to fall asleep with the beat of Max’s heart drumming beneath my ear, I hear him. It’s light, and I fight through my tiredness, to grasp the words.
“I’ll miss you too, Kitten, I’ll miss you too.” And it’s in those words I hear the sadness inside of him and part of me wishes I hadn’t. I hurt Max. I hurt him, and I don’t know how to fix it or even if I should. With each beat of his heart, my time is running out. What do I do? What on Earth do I do about Max Kincaid?
16
Max
I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Both of us sleeping is too damn dangerous out in the open like this. If the animals don’t attack us, there are plenty of people out there looking to do it. The combination of all the walking, the mess that has been the last few days and the sadness of admitting I needed to send Tess home, all combined to wear me out.
When I wake, Tess is still out to the world. She’s lying with her head on my chest, on her side. Her face is buried into my neck and her arm is curled around me. She fits me perfectly, everything about her feels right. Except that, I can’t keep her.
Tess is something that I never saw coming. I’ve lived an okay life. I was pretty satisfied. I had my shop, some good friends, cold beers, and what I thought were good times. I never had to work too hard to have a warm place to stick my cock, and that’s all I ever wanted. I didn’t do relationships and had no use for them. When I made the decision to end the life of the man that robbed me of my child, I had no idea what might be waiting for me.
I’m not sure you can prepare for someone like Tess. Had I know she was my future, I would have chosen differently. I would have still ended that sorry son of a bitch, but I would have played it smarter, I would have called in markers and done it safer.
My finger traces the delicate curve of her neck and shoulder. Sh
e’s so small and beautiful. I want more time with her. I want…
“Max?” she whispers sleepily. My dick has yet to be soft around Tess. I have three stages around her, hard, harder, and fuck if I don’t get relief I’m going to die. That stage is what I imagine overdosing on Viagra would be like. Four-hour erection? Tess has no problem inspiring them from me. With just her whispering my name I move into stage two, and I’m knocking on the door of stage three. I want to groan out loud, from the torture.
“If things were different, I’d put my mark on you,” I tell her before I can stop myself.
“Your mark?” she asks hugging me tighter, and I’m in no hurry to move from here. This feels a lot better than her fear of me yesterday.
“A tattoo. I’d want you to wear me on your body,” I tell her, kissing her just above her ear.
“Do a lot of women wear your mark?”
“I own a tattoo shop, Kitten.”
“Oh…right,” she whispers, and her voice is a strange mixture. I’m not good at deciphering women, I’ve never needed to be, but I think I hear the disappointment in hers. I smile.
“Not one woman has my name on her though, and that’s what I want on you, Kitten. My name, marking your skin. My name a part of you, so that any son of a bitch who comes near you, knows you’re mine, you’ll always be mine.”
She grows still, and I figure I’ve gone too far. Then her soft voice surprises me, “Would you wear me? I mean my name?”
I don’t even have to think about it. “Absolutely, Kitten. Absolutely.”
“We could still do it,” she whispers, and the temptation is so strong. I beat it down.
“We need to get going. It’s dangerous to stay in one place for too long,” I tell her helping her to slide off of me. I can’t allow myself to live in the dream world that tries to weave around me. I have a road already laid out ahead of me, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. I need to keep reminding us both of that.