Lola stepped away, and I immediately missed her soft warmth. The scowl she presented me with was pretty damn adorable.
“Of course, I’ll be fine.” I smiled at the stubborn set of her jaw.
“Of course you will,” I agreed, still smiling.
“Are you laughing at me?” she demanded, pinning me with a look that said you-better-fucking-not-be.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Mouse. We’re going for a run, then we’ll spar right out there, so you can see us.” I pointed over her shoulder and out the kitchen window to the small clearing behind the barn. “I have my phone. You can call me if you need me, and I’ll head right back.” She still looked defiantly frustrated.
“I’ll be fine, Drew. I’m not a child.”
My gaze automatically lowered to her breasts that I knew were a supple handful.
“Absolutely not a child,” I murmured.
Her annoyance melted away leaving perfectly pink cheeks.
“Should we come back?” came Gabbie’s amused voice from somewhere behind me.
Glancing over my shoulder, I found my teammate standing beside a smiling Grandma Catalina. I gave Grandma a nod and cheeky wink before leaning forward to press a kiss on the top of Lola’s head.
“I mentioned to Abuela that you were baking, and the woman was out the door before I could finish the sentence,” Gabbie said as her Grandmother made her way into the kitchen, giving Lola a quick hug.
“Good things come to those who bake,” Grandma Catalina said with a chuckle as she reached for a pan. Lola smiled as the old woman tightened her apron.
“Come on, Romeo, we’re wasting light.”
I flipped Gabbie off then, after quickly changing into some sweats, joined her on the porch.
“First one back gets to lick the bowl,” Gabbie said with a smile. Then she leapt down the steps, hitting the ground with agile grace before bolting off into the yard. A small smile reached my lips, and I let her get around the house before I took off after her. Gabbie was fast, but I was faster; however, she knew the lay of the land better than me. With no intention of licking the bowl, I still didn’t like the thought of losing. None of the members of the Montgomery team liked to lose; we were bred to win at all costs.
Jogging down the dirt path that surrounded the fence line of Grandma Catalina’s property, I enjoyed the surrounding forest that kept the sun from every truly breaking through. Even though it was well into spring, the days were still unseasonably cool, and enjoyed the light sheen of sweat my body worked up. Making my way past the stream the bordered the back of the property, I was almost tempted to stop and dip my head in the cold water. Turning away from the stream, I pushed my burning thighs as I navigated an incline, and once at the top, I saw Gabbie’s retreating back in the distance. Pushing myself a little harder, I began to gain on her. As the barn came into sight, I was level with her, and as I rounded the back of the barn, she was cursing me in Spanish.
Finally, we came to a stop, both panting, but our bodies were still full of energy. It hadn’t been a hard or long run, just enough to warm us up. Gabbie was lying on her back on the grass as she caught her breath.
“Come on, squirt. Get up and give me your best shot.” I cracked my neck from one side to the other, and Gabbie gifted me with a perfectly arched brow.
“Nobody calls me squirt and gets away with it.”
Signaling with my hand to ‘come get it,’ she sprung to her feet.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lola at the window, nodding at something Grandma Catalina had said. Her long hair hung over one shoulder, and the sun spearing through the window made her light up like some sort of fucking angel. The momentary lapse in concentration found me lying on my back with a snorting Gabbie standing over me. She had taken out my legs with a perfectly executed sweep of her own.
“This is going to be a piece of cake,” she said, smirking.
With that, we spent the next hour sparring, shooting the shit, and talking about our next course of action. We couldn’t really stay in hiding forever, but Lola and Rachel might need to for a while. Gabbie was adamant that Lola was welcome in her barn for as long as she needed and was confident as long as she had one team member with her at all times, she’d be safe.
Once we had exhausted ourselves enough to unleash the unwanted aggression and anger, we stepped back into the barn both more than a little grimy and sweaty. Gabbie eyed the bowl of chocolate mixture that had been scraped down so that only lickable traces remained.
“There’s no way in hell I’m eating raw eggs. You ever heard of salmonella?” I huffed out as I used a towel to wipe the sweat from my face.
Gabbie’s face lit up as she grabbed the bowl and stuck her finger straight in, uncaring of the potential bacteria swimming in the chocolate.
“Gah,” Grandma Catalina scoffed my way. “Gabriella has a cast iron stomach. She’s barely been sick a day in her life.”
“There’s always a first time,” I mumbled, planting a kiss on Lola’s head. The need to touch her and make sure she was okay was a force I struggled to understand. Women had come and gone from my life without me ever feeling the need to cling to them. Fuck, I was . . . clingy! Strangely enough, the thought didn’t bother me as much as it should have.
“Gonna take a shower, Mouse.”
She nodded and crawled onto the stool beside Gabbie, also sticking her finger in the salmonella concoction. Grandma Catalina smiled at my grimace and waved me off to the bathroom, also sticking her finger in the bowl.
“Unhygienic,” I growled.
“We’re women. We love chocolate. It's in our genes,” Gabbie explained.
Convinced a little chocolate wasn’t worth a night with your head in the toilet, I turned and headed for the shower.
CHAPTER 30
LOLA
Drew had been leaning against the door frame watching me for a good ten minutes. Wearing a tight-fitted t-shirt and well-worn jeans that sat low on his hips and nothing else, my concentration was all but ruined. The man was sex on a big, wide, tall stick.
“You know how sexy you look right now?” He finally broke the silence.
My gaze swung up to meet his, the preposterous surprise in my features surely told him I thought he was freaking nuts.
Instead, Drew’s gaze remained heated as he took a few steps towards me and crouched down. His big paw of a hand thumbed the back of mine as he watched me intently.
“I’m serious. The way your nose scrunches up every time you do something wrong," he tapped my nose gently, “and that bottom lip slips forward just a little.” His thumb whispered across my bottom lip. “It makes me want to bite it.”
“You’re whacked, you know that, right?”
“If wanting you is crazy, then stick me in a straightjacket and commit my ass, because I want you, Mouse. Always have, always will.”
Wow. How is a girl supposed to respond to that? I was tired and cranky, so I figured it was best not to say anything at all.
My lack of sleep turned me into a moody cow. The nightmares were back. For the past two nights, I had woken up screaming, and Drew had patiently held me tight, rubbing my back until my body finally relaxed. He would drift back to sleep, but I did everything I could to stay awake. The nightmare I had begun slipping into made me never want to sleep again. Images of Ben grunting and groaning on top of me and the memory of the pain and blood played through my head like a never-ending bad movie. I shivered, and my stomach rolled. I slammed the door shut on that nightmare. If I had to visit it every night, I’d be damned if I would spend any time thinking about it during the day.
Concentrating on the wool before me, I knitted. It was something one of my foster mothers had taught me when I was barely old enough to read a book. Although I hadn’t had the opportunity to do it in a long time, the calming task of manipulating the soft fabric into a woven masterpiece was relaxing and rewarding. Spying Grandma Catalina earlier in the day sitting in her rocker on the back porch with yarn and
knitting needles in her lap had drawn me from the house to her side. She’d been quick to find another set of needles and a bag full of wool, and now I was getting back into the feel of things by knitting a simple beanie. It was going to be for Drew, thinking his shaved head must get cold during the winter months, but my shitty mood made me want to throw the ball of yarn at him rather than make him something. I wasn’t being fair because he was being wonderful, really. Emotions were funny like that though, sometimes you just had no control over them.
“Don’t you have something to do?” I asked a little gruffly. His close attention made me squirm.
“Nope,” he said with a smile.
My eyes rose to his, and his grin grew bigger. I didn’t know whether to scowl, smile, or cry, my emotions were hypersensitive and all over the place.
“You’re not sleeping, are you?” His calm voice made me want to hit something.
“Wow, so observant. I guess waking up beside you the last two nights in a cold sweat and fighting nausea must have given something away.” Yep, tired Lola was a bitch.
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Mouse.”
That was all I needed, a gentle reprimand, and I was balling my eyes out like a child. Drew didn’t say anything; instead, he stood and encouraged me to stand, too, before taking my place on the chair and pulling me back into his lap where I continued to weep and snot all over him. Eventually, the tears dried up and the pathetic little hiccups that accompanied my breakdown subsided.
“I know your hurting, Mouse, but you can’t just make your past disappear, and you’ve come so far. Don't let this fucker control you anymore. I’m here with you every step of the way, so when it gets too much, you can lean on me.”
I nodded. Turning my hand over, I linked our fingers together. “I know.”
We sat in silence, and eventually, I lifted my head. I probably looked awful and blotchy, but I didn’t hide from Drew. He was my rock, and he never held anything back from me.
“So, you think my knitting is sexy,” I murmured in a slightly nasally tone.
Drew smiled, one of those few and far between smiles that made a small dimple in one cheek peek out and say hello. He leaned forward and carefully pressed his lips to mine. What might have been a sweet, safe kiss quickly turned into something else entirely, and when Drew pulled away, my body was strung tight with a feeling only Drew had been able to awaken in me. He’d been very careful with how he touched me since I’d recovered some of my memory, and while I hadn’t entirely missed his touch, the kiss reminded me how much I needed it.
“Hot as hell,” he breathed.
“I want to try,” I whispered. He was still so close I could feel his breath on my cheek.
“Try what, Mouse?”
“More than touching.” I could feel the heat in my cheeks burning a path down my neck and across my chest.
He leaned his head against mine. “Tonight, we’ll talk and see where it takes us. No pressure, okay?”
“Okay.”
Someone sat down by my side, and Drew pulled away, rising to his feet with me still in his arms in a graceful yet powerful way that made my stomach flip with excitement. I never really thought too hard about what kind of man might draw my attention. Spending every spare second running and watching over my shoulder was a sure way to kill any interest in the opposite sex. Drew placed me back on the chair and now stood before me, one hand on his hip, the other rubbing his stomach in an unconscious mannerism as he looked around the trees that surrounded us. Imagining the hard ridges of his flat stomach made my fingers twitch with a need to touch. Apparently, giant, strong, muscly men were my type.
“Gonna change and go for a run.”
Drew glanced at Gabbie who rested beside me with two glasses of wine in her hands.
“Good, because Lola and I need some lady time.”
“Lady time?” Drew scoffed.
“Yes, you know, to talk about lady stuff: menstruation cycles, waxing, shopping. Girl stuff.”
Drew’s face turned into one of horror as he quickly backed away. “Thanks for the head’s up.”
“Don’t tell me you’re one of those men who’s afraid of little ol’ Lady Flow ?” Gabbie teased.
“Trust me, squirt, takes more than a female’s cycle to scare me, but shopping? That's where I draw the line.” With a wink in my direction he disappeared inside.
“Here, you need a break.”
Gabbie handed me a glass of wine, and I carefully placed the knitting to one side.
“I’m not really a big drinker.”
“I know, and we’re not exactly hitting it hard, although we do have about five bottles of this stuff currently being chilled.”
“Five bottles!” I gasped, taking a sip. It was a sparkling white with a very sweet taste, refreshing on an unseasonably warm afternoon.
“Well, you just never know where the evening may lead. A girl must always be prepared, and I do love my wine. I’ve always been somewhat of a tomboy, and wine makes me feel feminine and sophisticated.”
“Wine is how classy people get shitfaced,” I murmured, remembering the quote from a fridge magnet I once saw.
Gabbie snorted out a laugh. She had a crazy laugh, loud and free, and although she sounded something like a cross between a moose and a goose, it was strangely endearing.
“Few people have mistaken me for classy, but I do love to get shitfaced.”
The wine was easy to drink, and before I knew it, Gabbie was opening a second bottle. She collapsed back into the chair beside me, and we watched Drew jog by, headed out for his third lap of the perimeter.
“Boy needs a hobby,” Gabbie said with a smirk.
“I wonder if he has one?”
“He does.” Gabbie cast me a sideways glance. “You.”
I didn’t know whether to be thrilled or pissed. I wanted to be more than just a hobby for Drew, but it was nice to know I had gained his attention with little to no effort. Not sure how to respond, I turned the conversation back around to her.
“What about you? Do you have any hobbies?”
“I like cars, bikes, anything that goes fast, really. And guns, I love to shoot. I’ve been practicing long range stuff. It's a challenge having to take into consideration wind as well as gravity, but I love it.”
Staring at her a small smile curved my lips.
“I was actually referring to men.”
Gabbie snorted. “Oh.” When I kept staring, she shifted nervously. “Well, my husband passed away five years ago, and I’ve been working pretty hard since then, so I haven’t exactly had time.”
“What about Bomber?”
Gabbie shrugged then took a sip of her wine. “He’s definitely my type, so there’s attraction. I’m just not sure I’m ready to jump back into the dating pool again.”
“You still miss your husband.”
“Every day,” she answered without hesitation. “But, it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. That wound is healing, but I’m terrified of feeling like that again.”
“Of losing someone you love?” I asked.
Gabbie nodded. “What we do is dangerous, Lola. Even though we’re good at what we do and every mission is planned to precision, things could still go wrong. My husband, Jace, was a damn school teacher and he died in a car accident. Daniel . . . Bomber, his work is so much more dangerous, the risks are much higher. My heart can’t take that pain again.”
Thinking of something happening to Drew on one of his missions made my stomach plummet, but I couldn’t picture him doing anything else. His work for Montgomery Security made me proud, and even though I’d always be terrified of something happening to him, too, I wouldn’t stop him from his work, and I couldn’t stop myself from caring about him, even if I tried. Life was too short to hold on to such fears.
“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.”
Gabbie arched a brow my way. “Quote of the day calendar?”
I nodded. “Yeah, but it was Natalie Babbitt who coined the phrase. She writes children’s books.”
“You know what my favorite quote is?” Gabbie asked, nudging my shoulder. I shook my head. “Stay classy, sassy, and a little bad assy.” A most unladylike snort erupted from me, which quickly led into a fit of giggles. “Oh, you like that one? I’ve got another. Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.” My giggles were now full blown laughter. “Unfortunately, those are the only two quotes I can remember. Impressive though, right?”
“Thank you, Gabbie,” I finally managed to say as my giggling subsided.
“For what?” she asked.
“For reminding me how good it feels to laugh.”
Gabbie’s smile was warm as she rested back in the chair, her wine glass almost empty, again. “You’re welcome. Maybe you can pay me back by carrying my drunken ass inside shortly. I’m pretty sure I’ve got my wine legs on right now.”
With that we both started laughing again, and it felt good. No, it felt better than good, it felt cleansing.
CHAPTER 31
DREW
I’d been running laps and stretching for almost two hours, and my body finally felt exhausted. Lola’s sleepless nights were taking a toll on not only her, but on me, too. While she had lain awake in bed the last two nights fighting sleep, I’d laid there right with her, feigning sleep as I waited for the moment her breathing deepened and her body truly relaxed. It never came. The dark circles under her eyes weren’t the only dead giveaway to her lack of sleep. Her surly attitude screamed exhaustion.
Feeling hopeless and frustrated, I did the only thing that I knew would help: I ran. It had definitely cleared away some of the frustration that was building inside me. I wasn’t used to being still for such long periods of time, and when I had a problem in front of me, I fixed it. Lola’s problems couldn’t be fixed that easily, and it was slowly eating away at my sanity. As I ran, my mind cleared, and I began thinking of ways to take Ben Crane out. It would need to be clean and efficient, without any fallback on me or Montgomery Security. From the surveillance our team was doing on Ben, his much guarded secret indulgence in drugs could easily allow me to take his life and make it look like an accident . . . or suicide.
Losing Lola (Mercy's Angels Book 5) Page 21