It puzzled Tommy until he realized that people might consider him as someone who couldn’t do anything with the information. After all, everyone knew he had been banned from commodity markets. Maybe he could keep positioning to be an advisor, a sounding board, their would-be psychologist. He didn’t care, as long as the information flowed.
With his spirits up, the weather good, and a few extra minutes before his next appointment in the Intercontinental lobby, he started walking north on Michigan. A Loyola University van sparked memories of college when his steps were cut by the van as he tried to cross the street.
He flashed to an economics professor who taught him that if anyone has an information advantage, they can profit from short-term market directional changes. Not minute’s worth in the trends that day traders see, but days of an advantage. The better the information and the smaller the market, the bigger the advantage. The professor made it clear that no one can control the eventual price, and the ultimate mistake would be to think anything different.
Tommy was confident that on most given days or weeks, he’d be able to figure if there was more buy or sell pressure on the market and play the direction. The key was not to be too greedy or hold onto positions too long. He couldn’t afford to get Pat on the wrong side of a long-term trend.
Tommy’s second appointment arrived right on time. This time the appointment was with a developer who had credit approvals on a massive project delayed. Many players in the market were planning to buy these offsets, and soon they would be finding out that they would have to look elsewhere.
The combination of the two meetings indicating that demand would be up and supply down, which forced Tommy to act more quickly with Pat than he anticipated. He was sure the market would head up. He pulled out his second pay-as-you-go phone and called Pat. “Hi, this is Pat at MAAP Commodities. How can I help you?”
“Wow. You’re ready to go. MAAP . . . Mary, Aaron, Abby, Paula. I get it.”
“Yep, my favorite four people in the world. I figured it was you, so I thought I’d try out my work voice. What do you think?” Pat beamed.
“Excellent. I would certainly trust you with my money, if I had any,” Tommy joked.
“I would certainly like the opportunity to help you map out your investment future . . . get it?!” Pat crooned, and Tommy could almost see Pat’s smile over the phone.
“Are you serious with that one?” Tommy asked.
“No, just having a little fun. Why are you calling already?” Pat asked.
“You need to buy 100,000 credits at market.”
“I thought they were offsets.”
“Credits and offsets are different terms for the same thing,” Tommy responded.
“Hold on. The market is at about eight dollars, so that’s like 800 grand, and I’m not set up yet. Besides, you know I only have 200 grand, and I’m not licensed.”
“Run it through my friend who helped you get set up. He’ll handle the trade and let you do it on margin. Figure it out. Sell at ten dollars, or in one week, whichever happens sooner.”
“What if the market goes from eight to seven dollars?” Pat asked.
“Well, if I’m doing my math right, you’d lose a hundred thousand dollars. Come on, hasn’t my friend taught you anything yet?”
“It was kind of rhetorical, dumbass,” Pat said.
“Okay then. And by the way, if the market goes to ten dollars, sell the credits. Then if it stays there for a couple of days, short 100,000 credits.”
“Short?”
“Short.”
“Oh, of course. I’ll do that.”
“If this detective asshole starts snooping around, these calls will get less frequent, or won’t happen at all. So. . .”
Pat interrupted. “Keep my eyes open. I know.”
“See you around. Actually, no, but you know what I mean,” Tommy said, and hung up.
It only took about six trading days for the market to cycle up and down as Tommy had anticipated. Pat followed directions well and timed it right, so the two positions he was already in and out of had him sitting on five hundred thousand, plus his original two hundred thousand.
Tommy continued for weeks, grunting through meetings and getting trade advice to Pat through the rest of May and well into June. Pat had run early trades through Tommy’s friend, but now had his business fully set up. In fact, to Tommy’s surprise, Pat had fully embraced his new job and role.
However, he figured that Pat still hadn’t found time to connect with industry people in more social settings, so Tommy headed to an afterwork event for carbon traders on the rooftop deck of the Civic Opera Building. Social events didn’t normally interest Tommy, but saving the time and effort of tracking down all of these people did. Tommy came off of the elevator actually looking forward to the event and maybe even his first drink in nearly a month.
When Tommy got off of the elevator and turned the corner, he saw Pat was at the bar doing his old cascading beer trick from college. Who would have thought beer falling from one glass into another and into another until all four beers were in his belly could still draw a crowd? No one saw Tommy, so he slipped back around the corner and got back in the elevator.
Tommy was proud of himself for fighting off the urge to stop for a drink alone after ducking out of the event. He rolled a prescription bottle around and through his fingers in his pocket as he walked east and then caught the L back to his condo. Both temptations were conquered, at least for then.
He got as good a night’s sleep as he ever got anymore and headed to the early morning Amtrak to Wisconsin. His small roller bag clunked and tipped as he navigated the manholes, uneven sidewalks, metal grates, and other urban obstacles between the L and Union Station. He caught the train, planning to rent a car in Milwaukee and surprise Jenny.
Things had progressed faster than Tommy had anticipated. Pat was now up over two million. Tommy had heard through Jenny that Mary and the kids were going to be down in Chicago for the next couple of weekends. He had worked hard, and things were going in the right direction. Maybe he could spend some time with Jenny. School had ended, so he hoped she would have some time for him.
Staying at Pat’s was no longer an option regardless of whether or not they were in town, so he checked into a hotel by the Interstate, cleaned up a bit, and headed to Jenny’s house. It was a small, red brick bungalow with flower boxes hanging from the front windows and an inviting leaded glass front door. During his previous couple of visits to town he had been with Pat to drop Jenny off or pick her up but was never inside.
Tommy knocked at the front door and simultaneously turned the door knob. When it opened, he slowly peeked his head in. “Jenny, you home? It’s Tommy.”
Jenny yelled from the kitchen. “I know who it is, but why aren’t you outside, waiting for someone to answer the door?”
“I guess I just thought it was okay,” Tommy answered.
“To open the door or to just drop by?”
“Both, I guess. I . . . just happened to be in the neighborhood?” Tommy said with a smile.
Jenny peeked into her son's bedroom in the back of the house, saw that he had on headphones, so she closed his door and then moved quickly to meet Tommy in the foyer. “You seem a bit curious, like you’re looking for something. Maybe my boyfriend? So, I guess why don’t you come in and meet him.”
As they walked toward the kitchen, Tommy wished he hadn’t been so nosy. This would be awkward at best, and humiliating at the worst.
He felt ashamed that he didn’t know much about what was going on in Jenny’s life. “Tommy, do you remember my dad?” Jenny said. She could see the relief on Tommy’s face.
“Yes, of course. Nice to see you again. How are you?” Tommy asked.
“Shitty,” he shot back. “Dying isn’t any fun.” Jenny’s dad, James, never
Jim or Jimmy, tended to enjoy the awkward silence he created with such announcements. With the dull ache of cancer simmering in his body, awkward personal
interactions were the least of his worries. He was perfectly comfortable making Tommy uncomfortable. Jenny knew it was one of her father’s perverse little pleasures, and he had few, so she let Tommy suffer. Besides, she wanted to teach him a little lesson.
After a considerable delay, Tommy finally spoke. “I’m very sorry to hear that.”
“Not as sorry as I am to be dying,” James said.
Sensing that was enough, Jenny tried to break the tension. “Come on, Daddy, you remember Tommy. We hung out in high school and college all the time.”
“Of course, I do,” James said. “He’s the ass that took off on you and his
other friends. Welcome back.”
Tommy started to regain his composure, but felt ridiculous for having forced himself into this situation. “Thanks. I’m glad to be back, and I am an ass.”
“Actually, you’re worse than that, but I’m trying to be a decent guest in my daughter’s home.”
“Can we settle on inconsiderate ass and move on?” Tommy suggested.
James finally smirked a little and said, “Yes, that sounds appropriate,” and then continued, “I’ll leave you two to talk.” He shuffled out of the room with the aid of a walker. It was hard for Tommy to watch as he knew that James was only about sixty-five, and Tommy pictured the vibrant man of twenty years earlier who had always intimidated Tommy a bit.
“Happy you just stopped by?” Jenny asked.
“I get it. I was wrong. No more drop by visits. I’ll come when invited . . . if invited . . . but as long as I’m here can we hang out for a bit?” Tommy asked.
“Tommy, I know you’re trying, but you really need help learning how to develop a relationship.”
“What do you mean? I’m here. I’m reaching out to you. I’m trying.”
“I guess, but it seems like you’re trying when it’s convenient for you. Is this how your relationships go?”
“No, not really,” Tommy said unconvincingly. “This was just our first chance to connect without Pat and Mary supervising.”
“So, you’re thinking like a real date?” Jenny asked.
“Yes, I would like that.”
“Are you asking me out?”
“Yes. Would you take a walk with me to get coffee?”
“Not today, but I will tomorrow. I want to check with my boyfriend first,” Jenny said, and smiled.
“I get it. I’ve been a touch self-absorbed.”
“A touch? That’s not the guy I remember. You were always introspective but not self-absorbed. What happened?” Jenny asked.
“That’s a long story that can wait. Let’s talk about you.” Tommy said.
“Ahh, at least you’re a quick learner. Let’s talk about both of us tomorrow. I can clear the whole day if you have the time. How about meeting for coffee at ten tomorrow morning and see where it goes?” Jenny asked.
“Perfect. See you tomorrow.” Tommy wasn’t happy he wouldn’t see Jenny that day, but he knew that his surprise visit had thrown her off. He spent the rest of the day planning his date with Jenny. With each passing hour the butterflies of anticipation built. He was puzzled but pleased by the warm and bright feelings slowly overtaking the darkness that usually cluttered his mind. The only dark corner left for now was Jenny’s reaction to his surprise visit. She seemed much more stressed and tense from his presence than he expected. Maybe she did have a boyfriend.
25
Tommy was anxious to see how the day would play out, so he arrived at the coffee shop early and positioned himself where he would be able to see Jenny come in. She wore attractively tight-fitting olive-green capris, a perfectly snug white tee that flattered her breasts and ironing board stomach, and her customary flat sandals. Tommy wore khaki shorts, a tight blue polo shirt that showed off muscular arms and Velcro sandals.
Both had light jackets and looked prepared for the seventy-degree early summer day that it was.
“Nice to see you, Tommy. What do you want to do today?”
“Well, after coffee, I have made a few plans, but whether we do them will be up to you,” Tommy responded. As they waited in line to buy coffee, Tommy noticed that a table of four teenage boys were regularly glancing over at Jenny, as if to catch her eye. Jenny must have sensed it as she grabbed Tommy’s arm after they had their coffee and steered him toward the boys’ table.
Jenny said, “Hello, guys! Are you enjoying the start of your summer?”
The response, in unison, was, “Yes, Ms. Landimere.”
“Good! And who has started their college applications?” They all looked down at their mugs. “Yeah, I thought as much. Remember, when we get back to school in September, I’ll schedule appointments with each one of you. You should be ready to start submitting applications early in the semester. Be prepared, please. And remember, don’t do drugs,” Jenny said light heartedly but with their best interest in mind.
Again, in unison, each with a little grin, “Yes, Ms. Landimere.”
The tallest and pimpliest of the group said, “Who’s your friend?”
Jenny said, “Sorry, this is Mr. Gardner.”
“Is he your boyfriend?” the pimply kid asked.
“He wishes!” Jenny replied and smiled. The boys laughed as Jenny and Tommy turned to find a table.
“So, now I know what you do,” Tommy said.
“Yep. High school counselor,” Jenny replied.
“I’m sorry I didn’t word that well, again. I knew what you did. I just mean I didn’t know you were so good at it. Those boys like you. No, they respect you. No, it’s both, I can tell,” Tommy fumbled.
“They are the easy ones who know what they want to do. The challenging ones are in my office after school, asking if they really have to go home because they’re worried their dad is going to hit them or they just have no idea what to do with their lives.”
“Do they all look at you like those four did?” Tommy asked.
“No, but I try.”
“It shows. I can tell just from that little interaction,” Tommy noticed that he was making her uncomfortable, so he changed the subject. “Does the fact that your dad is sick scare you?” Tommy inquired.
“Uh, yes, I guess,” Jenny muttered, caught off guard, with Tommy turning one uncomfortable moment into another.
“Is he a good dad?”
“Absolutely. Even though I knew I was adopted and my sisters were his biological daughters, I always felt like I was one of them. I remember so many times that he was there for whatever we needed, whenever we needed it. I like that I can be here for him now,” Jenny’s love for her family and her father were obvious.
“Is he always with you now? Not your sisters?” Tommy asked.
“Yes, because dad wants to be here, and they don’t live in town anymore and have families of their own. They come regularly on the weekends, so I can get a little break,” Jenny explained.
“Is it hard on you?”
“It’s hard on him. His body is letting him down. He doesn’t want his daughters to see him like this. I’m sure it is the hardest thing that he has ever had to do.”
“That’s depressing. The hardest thing that he ever has to do will ultimately be rewarded with death.” Tommy muttered.
“It’s the price that sometimes has to be paid, knowing that you are breaking down and dying,” Jenny said.
“I can’t even imagine, especially when you see someone going through it. How are you all managing?” Tommy’s brow furrowed with concern.
“My guess is that if we have done enough, loved enough, given enough, it will be okay.”
“Do you think that your dad did enough of those things for it to actually be okay?”
“I think so . . . I hope so.” Jenny looked away, wishing that she had a crystal ball to see into both her dad’s future . . . and even her own.
“Maybe you ought to tell him you think he did a great job, and that he was a good dad.” Tommy couldn’t help but wonder what might have been different if he would have said thes
e words to his own father.
Jenny paused, smiled, and said, “I think I’ll do that. Thanks.” Jenny then hesitated knowing that a reciprocal question might be tough on Tommy, but decided to ask anyway. “What about your parents?”
“My dad was well on his way to a great life until all the lawsuits. But when you kill yourself . . .” Tommy slowed, trying to keep his composure.
“I can tell you he was a great dad, and I was a proud son, although I didn’t show it by running out before the funeral.”
“I’m sure your dad knew.” Jenny tried to sound reassuring but she knew this was a sore subject for Tommy.
“And he was a good husband. My mom really needed him. She needed someone. She just kind of latched on to the first guy that came along after my dad died. My stepdad and her together . . . they were not so good.” Tommy said.
“What do you mean?”
“Let me give you an example of a conversation they had while visiting me in Chicago. My mom said, ‘Did you see our old neighbor Bob died? You remember him, had some spinal problem. Looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame.’ Then my stepdad said, ‘Yeah. Didn’t his wife lose a foot to diabetes? She can’t be in very good shape either.’”
“That’s it?” Jenny said.
“It wasn’t the words; it was what came next. They both looked at each other with kind of smug looks on their faces. Like God had a quota for healthy people in town and seeing someone suffer just improved their life by comparison. Or maybe it was simply taking pleasure in someone worse off than themselves. Regardless it was pretty sad.” Tommy said.
“So, that’s the extent of your view of your mom and stepdad together?”
“Well, of course, there’s more, but that sums it up,” Tommy said.
“You don’t paint a very positive picture. It sounds like it impacted you,” Jenny offered.
“I was in my early twenties before any of this happened, so I don’t want to blame my parents or make excuses for what I am. Me is my fault, not theirs,” Tommy stood as a way of politely ending the conversation.
He was in a rare good mood and didn’t want to lose that feeling. Almost a bit formally, for comedic effect, he asked with arm extended, “Are you ready to move onto the next portion of our date?”
The Squeeze Page 13