by Lauren Dane
“Nothing wrong with needing that, Natalie. Let him. He wants you to need him, too.”
“Yeah, well, I do. Guess I have to shave my legs now. Either that or wear thigh-high socks the whole time.”
They’d driven in together that day, Tuesday ever the efficient snow driver and Natalie a snow wuss, even after years in Washington and Oregon. It worked out nicely.
Once home, Tuesday offered to make dinner while Natalie dealt with everything.
She made plane reservations and arranged for a car to pick her up at the airport to take her to the arena. She and Mary texted a bit, Mary assuring her she was welcome, that Paddy would love to see her and that she thought a surprise would be fantastic. She told Natalie she’d handle the hotel situation and gave her all the info she’d need to get from the airport to the hotel, to get her checked into Paddy’s room and then to get to the venue from the hotel.
All that done, she headed downstairs to find a glass of wine and some hot soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.
She looked to Tuesday and sighed. “You’re the best. Totally perfect. Thanks.”
They ate as she filled Tuesday in on all the details. She’d head to Portland in the morning for her flight and would return two days after when Sweet Hollow Ranch moved to the next city.
They talked around Ezra and their lunch. Natalie pushed but kept it gentle because she didn’t want to rip open any wounds and then leave town. There was something between Tuesday and Ezra, but her friend wasn’t able to put it into words yet.
Because Natalie understood that, and loved Tuesday, she let it go.
* * *
AT THE AIRPORT the next morning, Natalie grabbed a latte and a stack of beauty and fashion magazines and settled in to wait for her plane’s departure. That’s when her phone rang with a private number.
It was automatic for her thumb to swipe and take the call. After all, sometimes Paddy called from a phone in his dressing room or the hotel.
But it wasn’t Paddy.
“Natalie, it’s your father.”
She hung up and then with shaky hands, blocked that number.
Years ago, she might have listened to him, hoping he’d be calling to apologize for whatever he’d done to precipitate the call. But she knew better by then.
Her grandmother called next, and she let the call go straight to voice mail, and by the time her plane boarded, she was glad she let Tuesday convince her to take a Xanax when she’d arrived at the airport. She hated flying. Hated that loss of control.
But she was on her way to see Paddy, and that was worth it.
So she got on, slid the sleep mask over her eyes and settled in. Even better, she didn’t wake until she landed in Chicago and found the car waiting for her.
* * *
ONCE SHE’D ARRIVED at the hotel to freshen up and drop off her bags, she smiled when she found the tray with chilled juice and snacks waiting for her on Mary’s direction.
It was lovely to be taken care of.
Natalie did her best to mimic the stuff Tuesday had done with her makeup. She came pretty close, and once she’d swiped on some deep red lipstick, it worked. She’d just gotten a great haircut a few days before, so she managed to re-create most of what her hairdresser had done.
Her Tuesday-approved outfit was a pair of slim-legged dark pants with clunky boots. The bonus was they were warm, and she’d have some traction in the snow and ice. Her leather jacket was one she’d had since high school. A splurge of her meager summer job savings from a shop on Melrose. It had been worth every penny in the years since, though she’d had to have the lining done over twice; it was a great warm jacket and went well with the red T-shirt that mimicked the color of her lipstick.
She gave herself a look in the mirror as she slid on a wide cuff at her wrist and opted for studs in her ears instead of dangles.
No time like the present.
She tucked money into her pocket along with her identification and grabbed the credentials Mary had left, along with the snacks and headed to the car waiting out front.
“Wow, so did you win an all-access pass thing to this show?” The driver was chatty, which was fine because suddenly she was nervous, which was so stupid.
“No. I’m a friend of Paddy’s. The lead singer?”
“Ah. So are you a musician, too?”
She laughed. “Nope. I’m a librarian.”
“Really? My daughter is a librarian in Bloomington. Times are tough. Her hours keep getting cut. She’s doing the job of three people.”
“It’s really frustrating out there right now. We’ve got the same issues. Most libraries do. I love my job, but I do get afraid I’ll lose it.”
He seemed to take that little bit of sharing to heart, because when he pulled up at the back entrance, and she showed the guard there her credentials, the driver handed her a business card. “If you need a ride again while you’re here, give me a call. It’s cold, and I’m better than a cab. You be safe, all right?”
He opened her door after shooing the guard away.
She shook his hand and thanked him.
Luckily, she had some good directions from Mary so she managed to get inside and down and around to where the backstage area was.
And stopped as she took it all in.
Women lined the hall, some drinking, some lounging, some clearly on the prowl. Someone, or lots of someones, given the level of scent, was smoking pot. On one level that was good because it was a smell that always made her think of college, especially if there was a hint of patchouli involved. It also slightly masked the gross, flat-alcohol smell and the acid whisper of puke.
She made her way through the first hall and reached another checkpoint. There was a clog, again, mainly of women claiming to be on this or that list. Mary had warned her not to bother waiting and to push her way forward.
So she did.
One woman grabbed her. “Wait your turn, bitch.”
“I don’t have to wait my turn. I belong here.” She shoved past and waved her credentials, nearly slapping the hand of the woman who tried to snatch them.
“Seriously? Back up.”
The massive bodyguard sort of waded in, grabbed Natalie and helped her through.
“I remember you from the Seattle show.” He grinned, not looking nearly as scary. “Natalie, right? Paddy’s gonna be happy to see you.”
She smiled. “I hope so. Um...Ron! You’re Ron.”
“Good memory.” He tapped another guy standing there on the shoulder. “Take Natalie to where the band is. She’s with Paddy. This is Paul. He’s going to get you to where you need to be. It’s a bit of a hike.”
Paul nodded and pointed her to a golf-cart-type thing that was clearly built to move in these back hallways.
“This is a great venue because we can keep most people back there. Some manage to get in who aren’t supposed to, but it’s easier to control. Here we go.” He pulled to a stop in front of another checkpoint.
Their overhead for all this security must have been huge.
“Hey, Matt, I’ve got Natalie with me.” Paul indicated Natalie as he spoke to the guy at the checkpoint. “She’s Green access.”
She held up her neck badge thing with a smile.
“Mary said to be on the lookout.” Matt opened the rope thing and she went through.
“Thanks for the ride, Paul.”
“No problem. Have a great show.”
Matt jerked his head. “Head down that set of stairs right there to your left. The dressing rooms and green room are below. You’ll probably hear them before you see them.”
She thanked him and made her way down. Again stopping when she got to the main hallway.
More chaos but at least these were people she recognized. Paddy and Vaughan stood in one large room, the green room she remembered, taking shots. Paddy was shaggier than he’d been the last time she’d seen him. A little rough around the edges.
Mary sat tucked up on a couch, reading a book as Damien drumme
d on stuff relentlessly.
“Can I help you find something? Or someone?”
Natalie turned to see someone walking her way.
“Uh.” She pointed into the room where Paddy was. “Found him. Thanks.”
Paddy looked up from where he’d been sucking on a lime and his face lit at the sight of her.
“You’re here!” He bounded over and swept her into a hug, swinging her off her feet before he put her down, kissing her soundly.
Man, she’d missed him enough to ignore the salt of tequila and the tang of lime.
She kissed him back, heard nothing else but the beating of her heart and the rush of blood in her ears as he took her from nervous to hot for him in seconds.
He broke, setting her back, looking her up and down. “You look fantastic.”
She handed him a tissue. “You have lipstick.”
He dabbed it off as Damien and Vaughan rushed forward to give her a hug. Mary was slower to get up as she was at the seven-month mark. “Glad you made it in all right.”
“Thanks for handling everything. The food and juice were exactly what I needed after the flight.”
“You knew she was coming and you didn’t mention it?” Paddy slid an arm around Natalie’s waist, hauling her close. “Best surprise ever.”
He was tipsy. But it was okay. She realized this was different for him, part of how he was on the road. It wasn’t like it had been before, either. He wasn’t slurring and out of control.
“Show’s gonna start in a few. Let’s be sure we have you a headset and stuff.”
Mary patted his arm. “Handled already.”
“You’re awesome. Thank you, honey. Now if you’ll excuse us for a minute or two.”
He took her out into the hallway and into a room two doors down and closed the door.
“Now. I need to kiss the hell out of you. Months without touching you. FaceTime is fine, especially when you let me talk you into dirty stuff. But this is a million times better.”
He pulled her close, grabbing two handfuls of her butt as he did, grinding himself against her. “You’ve made me hard already.”
Then he kissed her.
The kiss in the green room had been a nice one. But this one? This was a hot, dirty mouthfuck of a kiss and it sent shivers racing all over her skin as he slid his tongue between her gums and lip, against the inside of her mouth. He nipped her lips, sucked on her tongue, breathed her in like he had to simply to exist.
Her nipples hardened as the notch between her legs got slick and swollen. Her breath came shorter and it was filled with him. He kissed and kissed and kissed her until he broke away, chest heaving as he tried to breathe.
Her fists held on to the front of his shirt as she tried to keep her shaky legs. “Wow.”
“I’ve missed you. So much. That kiss is a down payment on what’s going to happen when we get back to the hotel after the show. I’m going to lick you until you beg me to stop. And then I’ll lick you some more. And that’s before I fuck you. How long do I have you for?”
She swallowed hard and cleared her throat to find her voice again. “Day after tomorrow. I’m here for tonight’s show and tomorrow night’s. I leave after.”
“I’ll take what I can get. Damn. Baby, I’m so happy to see you.” He tipped his forehead to hers. “You look so hot right now, it’s taking all my self-control not to bend you over something.”
A series of bells sounded, and he groaned. “We’re up. Come on. You can leave your stuff here. By the way, love that jacket.”
She grinned and told him the story as they walked, hand in hand, down the corridor and then up some steps to the stage. He paused, waiting for his brothers. The opening band, Subzero Supernova, had gathered to watch them play, and Paddy introduced her quickly.
She barely managed to keep herself from fan-girling all over them. She’d loved them for years, and it had continued to frustrate her that they didn’t get the attention they so clearly deserved.
Paddy grinned at Shelly Avenida, their lead singer. “Did I ever tell you that Natalie was the one who suggested you guys as openers? She loves your stuff. Not more than my stuff. I mean, come on.” He winked.
Shelly turned to Natalie. “Really?”
“I saw you guys at Evergreen. Like ten years ago. I bought a CD out of the trunk of someone’s car that night.”
“Wow. That’s awesome. Thank you.”
“Nah, thank you. Soul Food Suicide and Atone got me through grad school. Well, that and violent video games.”
Paddy held her close, and she let herself be comforted by the way it felt. She’d tell him about her father later. Let herself simply enjoy this while she had it.
“Here we go.” He turned Natalie in his arms to face him. “Kiss me for good luck?”
She stretched to kiss him. “Kick ass, Patrick Hurley.”
He grinned, kissed her hard and fast and jogged out as their name was announced.
The smaller club show was one thing. She loved live music, had gone to shows pretty often. She could wrap her head around that, even with her boyfriend up onstage.
But this? This was...so much more than she could even begin to get around. The crowd didn’t just cheer, they roared. The sound echoed up from the floor she stood on, rattling her bones.
She couldn’t have stopped the smile on her face if she’d tried.
The Paddy at the microphone was hers. Yes, long and tall, the width of his shoulders sliding down to nip at his waist. That ass his jeans only made hotter, his Puma sneakers she’d found out he had a collection specifically to wear on tour. Tonight they were poison-green with a purple stripe.
He caressed the guitar she’d given him in much the same way he touched her.
“Hey, it’s you.” He teased the words out like a sexy come-on line and given the reaction of the crowd, it totally worked. “Love that haircut.” He winked, and she burst out laughing.
The crowd yelled out song titles, and he held a hand to his ear. “Did y’all have a request or two? Because I was thinking.” He paused and turned to the band. They went into a huddle, with Paddy looking over his shoulder in her direction a few times before he winked and headed back to the mic.
“Sorry, I had to be sure everyone remembered this one. This is ‘Dive Bar,’ and it goes out to my gorgeous blonde love.”
She’d always sort of suspected that song was about her, but had never asked. He counted into it, and they launched into the song.
It was impossible not to shake her ass just then, so she gave over and danced, hands up, gaze locked on Paddy as he started singing about seedy bars, too many cigarettes, cheap beer and fucking against an alley wall.
She should have been embarrassed. Worried that someone might think she’d actually do such a thing.
But she had. She did. They’d stumbled out the back door. He’d pushed her against the wall, kissing her hard and fast. One hand up her shirt, pinching her nipple, the other managed to shove her skirt and underpants out of the way and he’d fucked her right then and there.
She’d loved it. The thrill of being wanted with such immediacy. The edge of the idea of being caught. Back then, she’d never have begun to imagine this future. She rarely thought more than a few months in advance, if that.
But she wasn’t ashamed of those weeks with Paddy. Everything they’d done, she’d done willingly. Had loved every moment. It had been a turning point, a pivot point.
“Dive Bar” ended, and they launched into “Chemicals,” and she kept dancing. Damien was a monster. He hit those drums so hard, a goofy grin on his face the whole time. Every once in a while, he’d lean in and sing.
“He’s adorable,” she said to Mary with a tip of her chin in Damien’s direction.
Mary laughed and nodded. “He’s a machine. But I like what it does to his forearms, and he’s always hot for me when he gets off stage.” She put an arm around Natalie’s shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
For a long time, her fam
ily had been 1022. And she realized as she stood there next to Mary, that these wily Hurleys with their noise and chaos had joined 1022 in her heart. They were part of her, too.
“Me, too. I needed to be here.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
PADDY CAME OFF stage after the third encore, handed his guitar to his tech and pulled Natalie close. Happiness had consumed him, made him a pool of contented male.
His woman had come to him and damn if he hadn’t needed it more than he’d even known until he’d looked up at the sound of her voice.
“Let’s go back to the hotel.” He’d already arranged for a car to be waiting when the show was over. He usually rode back with everyone else, but he didn’t want to share Natalie. Not for a while.
He led her through the crowd of people who seemed to materialize after the show. Just knowing he needed to be alone with her for hours and hours.
“Aren’t there things you need to do?” she murmured as he kissed her neck.
“Just you, gorgeous. I have a tour manager for all the other stuff.”
Their tour manager, Renn, would take care of everything that needed doing, so Paddy grabbed his bag and her stuff from his dressing room before catching sight of one of their security detail.
“Hey, Paul.” Natalie smiled the guard’s way.
Paul, who tended to frown more than any other expression, lit up. “Hey, there. I see you found him okay.”
Paddy’s brow rose, and he pulled her a little closer.
“Paul helped get me to you earlier when I arrived,” Natalie explained to Paddy.
“Thanks, man. Can you get us to the parking lot?”
“Definitely.”
There were fans there at the entrance, and he cursed under his breath.
“I’m not going anywhere for two days. Sign and be Paddy Hurley,” she said quietly.
He kept her hand. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it quick.”
She kissed him, which only made him want her more. “Hush. Do your job.”
“I’m going to make you come so hard,” he whispered against the outer shell of her ear before he licked it.