by Gen Griffin
The twins chuckled. “Don't be silly. We bought off the registry.”
“I didn't know you were registered anywhere,” Katie muttered to Gracie as she shouldered the bag and then began making her way towards a large table in the corner of the room that already had several presents sitting on it.
“That's because I'm not.” Gracie followed after Katie with the second bag. This was her first real chance to get a look at the room. It was set up comfortably but with no real purpose. Six large circular tables took up most of the floor space that wasn't occupied by the small dance floor. A handsome old-fashioned wooden bar occupied one corner of the room. The country club had provided both the bartender and the local country band whose members were now taking their places on the small pedestal stage. There were familiar faces scattered throughout the room, everyone appeared to be getting their first round of drinks and snacks before settling in at the tables.
Katie eyed the presents as she set down the bag she was holding. She cast a quick glance over her shoulder. The twins hadn't followed them, choosing instead to go flirt with the 40 year old bartender. “I'm peeking,” she announced as she ruffled the tissue paper at the top of the bag.
“Go for it.” Gracie set the second bag down beside the first one and then turned her attention back to the room full of people. “Katie, why are all these people here?”
“They bought you a.... Oh sweet baby Jesus. It's a stained glass lamp, circa 1973. It's avocado and harvest gold.”
“Shoot me. I've seen that lamp. It used to be in their mother's living room.” Gracie frowned at the crowd. “We have way more than fifteen people here.”
“The second bag has a giant purple massaging foot bath,” Katie announced. “And a complete set of dishes with frogs painted on them. Also, a waffle iron.”
“Oh yay. Everything I've never wanted. I'm counting at least thirty people.” Gracie finished her count as four girls she hadn't spoken to since high school came strolling into the party. Each of them was carrying a gift bag. “Make that thirty four.”
Katie abandoned the presents. Gracie watched as her friend quickly counted the crowd for herself.
“Yoohoo. Gracie.” A gorgeous redhead with bright green eyes was merrily waving her hand as she approached the gift table. She was carrying a much smaller gift bag than Michelle and Lacy had brought.
Gracie opened her mouth and then closed it abruptly. She didn't even try to keep the surprise from showing on her face as she took in the girl standing in front of her. Once upon a time, Holly Brackman had been Gracie's best friend. The friendship had ended badly during their last year of middle school and Holly had moved away that summer. Gracie had heard a rumor that Holly had moved back, but she hadn't seen her. “Holly. What a surprise.”
“It's good to see you. You look great.” Holly flipped her chin length auburn locks back out of her eyes and gave Gracie a small smile. Her tiny gift bag was swinging back and forth on the tip of her finger. “Are you okay?”
“I...um. Wow. I didn't know you were back in town.”
“You didn't?” Holly's smile faltered slightly. “You sent an invitation to my house.”
“I did?” Gracie was startled. She looked from Holly to Katie, who shrugged. It took Gracie a minute to realize that Katie had moved in to Possum Creek right after Holly had moved away and had no idea who Holly was.
Holly reached into her petite designer purse and pulled out a pink envelope that Gracie had never seen before. She flipped the invitation over in her hands and then held it out to Gracie, taking in Gracie's look of surprise with a mixture of amusement and obvious embarrassment. “You haven't seen this, have you?”
“Um, honestly?” Gracie shook her head no as she plucked the invitation from Holly's grasp. She managed a tight-lipped smile as she opened the frilly, floral invite and read the text.
ONE LAST
FLING
BEFORE THE
RING
A BACHELORETTE PARTY
IN HONOR OF
GRACIE MALONE
Join us Thursday, September 12th @ 7:00 pm
@ The Callahan County Country Club
to celebrate Gracie's last night out as a single woman.
We will be providing appetizers and an open bar until midnight.
Please feel free to check out our wedding registry
at Beckman's Department Store. Don't be shy! Bring your gifts to the party!
Be sure to send your R.S.V.P to [email protected].
“Oh shit.” Gracie turned the invite over in her hands twice. “Where did you get this?”
“I'd assumed you sent it to me.” Holly ran her hand nervously through her red waves, looking more than a little humiliated. “I guess not?”
“Gracie! Katie!” Trish came hurrying across the room to them before Gracie could think of what to say to Holly. “We have a serious- oh. You've already seen one.”
“Seen one-?” Gracie abruptly realized that Trish was looking at the invite Holly had just handed to her. “This?”
“Yes. That.” Trish held up her right hand. Her pale cheeks were flushed bright pink. She was holding three more of the invitations. “April Lynne and her best friends just walked in the door and flashed me these when I tried to tell them they hadn't been invited.”
“Shit.”
“Did you send them out?” Trish asked Gracie.
“Seriously?” Gracie raised one eyebrow at her newly acquired bestie. She'd only known Trish for a little over two months but Gracie was closer to her than she was to a lot of people she'd known her whole life. “I'm barely organized enough to get my shoes on the right feet in the morning. I literally wore a shirt out of the house backwards yesterday. Cal's Daddy pointed it out to me when I got to work.”
“Shush, okay. I didn't figure you did, but I had to ask.” Trish held up one hand to silence Gracie. “We may have real problem on our hands.”
“Look, I'm really sorry if y'all weren't expecting me,” Holly said. “I'd kind of hoped that we could reconnect but clearly it was a mistake. I'll just go.”
“No, wait.” Gracie managed a tentative smile for Holly. “Don't go. It would be good to...reconnect. Just give me a second. We'll get this figured out.”
“Are you sure?” Holly asked.
“You're not the problem,” Katie said quickly. “At least, I don't think you're the problem. I don't know you. I do know some of the other people here and they are most definitely going to be a problem.”
“The problem is that we have thirty folks here with more walking in the door every minute.” Trish was inspecting the pink invitations again. Her long black hair had been pulled up into an elaborate up-do and the shimmery blue dress she was wearing clung attractively to her curvy figure. She managed to look calm and collected despite having to have David bring her a change of clothing so that she could go from swimsuit to nightclub sexy in under an hour. “We were planning on hosting literally half this many people.”
“And?” Gracie stared at Holly's invitation. “Y'all, this is bizarre. I haven't used the email listed for RSVPs since I was in sixth or seventh grade. I deactivated it years ago.”
“Deactivated or abandoned?” Katie asked.
“What's the difference?” Gracie asked.
“Deactivated means you had the account deleted. Abandoned means you stopped using it and forgot about it, but never actually officially canceled it.”
“Um,” Gracie bit the inside of her cheek and tried to think back. “I'm wanting to say I got locked out of it somehow and had to make a new one.”
“Forget about the email address for a minute. We don't have enough food for everyone,” Trish said. “We told the caterer we were feeding fifteen people. We're going to run out of seating and appetizers in thirty minutes. If we're lucky.”
“Shit.” Gracie passed the invitation off to Katie.
“Not to mention that Miss Loretta may kill us over the open bar,” Trish said. “An open bar for fifteen people i
s one thing. The tab for providing endless drinks to half the females under fifty in Possum Creek is going to be astronomical. For that matter, I don't even know that the manager will let us have that much alcohol to serve. He gave me a really hard time about switching the open bar from the pool deck to the party room.”
“We can't worry about the bill or the asshat manager right now,” Katie said. “First we had a pool full of alligator gar, now we have a party full of people whose company is even less enjoyable than being bitten by gar. We need to figure out how to discretely end this party before anything else goes wrong. ”
“I don't think we can,” Trish said as several more of Gracie's high school classmates came through the door. “Not without causing the scandal of the month.”
“Jeez. I can hear the gossip now. The Mayor's Daughter-in-Law kicked people out of her bachelorette party even though they had invitations.” Katie carefully folded up the invitation and tucked it into the purse. “Trish is right. We can't throw them out.”
“April Lynne probably sent out those invites just to be spiteful. She knew she wasn't invited.” Gracie crossed her arms over her chest. Cal's cousin was still hanging out next to the bar. She was downing shots like they were water.
“Maybe,” Katie said. “I guess the invites explain why everyone is showing up with gifts. If you didn't make these invitations, then I'm kind of scared to find out what kind of stuff our mystery mailer registered you for at Beckman's.”
“Frogs,” Holly spoke so quietly that the other three turned as one to look at her.
“Excuse me?”
“The registry is full of frogs,” Holly said. “Frog salt shakers. Frog spice rack. Frog paper towel holder. Toaster oven with a frog painted on the side. Shower curtains and towels with little toads all over them. It's pretty much all frog kitsch.” Holly ran one hand through her hair and then shrugged. “In retrospect, I probably should have guessed that something weird was going on. Gracie and I haven't hung out in a few years but one thing I do remember is that she was always kind of-.”
“Pathologically terrified of frogs,” Katie finished Holly's sentence for her. One strap of her pretty mint green sundress had slipped down her slender shoulder and put the lacy top of her strapless bra on display for all the world to see. If Katie noticed the wardrobe malfunction, she hadn't made a move to fix it. “Gracie's afraid of frogs. It's beyond dumb, and it's not a secret.”
“I am,” Gracie admitted. “One got in the store the other day and hid behind the filing cabinet. I called Addison while he was at work and made him come catch it and take it away.”
“Great,” Trish said tiredly. “I hope Beckman's has a good return policy, because I'm willing to bet that all these gifts probably have frogs on them.”
“The dishes do.” Katie poked the heavy bag that Michelle or Lacy had brought. “I haven't peeked in any of the others.”
“I don't think you need to. Y'all give me a minute to think.” Trish took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Thirty seconds passed before she opened them back up. “We can't ask people to leave. It would be rude beyond belief. We can't not feed them, for the same reason. Cal's Daddy is the mayor and this will come back to bite us in the derrieres if we handle it wrong.”
“How do you plan on magically tripling the number of appetizers we have prepared?” Katie asked her.
“I'm fixing to make a phone call to the nearest pizza place. Pizza may not be the classiest meal, but no one will be able to complain that we starved them.” Trish surveyed the crowd again. “Besides, we need to put some kind of bread on some of these gal's stomachs before they get completely lit.”
Gracie followed her gaze and then sighed. The bar was getting downright crowded. “You need my debit card?”
“No. I'll use mine,” Trish said. She wrinkled her nose as she watched April Lynne down yet another shot. “Katie, see if you can figure out how to give this party some structure while I'm gone.”
“What do you mean?” Katie asked.
“I think a lot of these girls are thinking this is a combination bridal shower and bachelorette party. Let's give them what they're looking for.”
“You don't want to play games, do you?” Gracie groaned dramatically.
“I want to organize our guests so that we can minimize our collateral damage,” Trish corrected her.
“In English?”
“If we keep them busy, maybe they won't have time to get wasted on Cal's parent's dime.”
“Oh.”
“And if we're really lucky, we might be able to prematurely end the party by making everyone feel like the night is over. I figure we can feed them, play a couple of party games, open gifts, cut the cake and then shoo them out the door.”
“We have a cake?”
“We do,” Trish confirmed.
“You're good,” Holly said. “I'm impressed.”
“Me too.” Gracie took a deep breath. She had been watching women come through the door during the entire conversation. “What should I do?”
“You're the guest of honor,” Trish said. “Pretend like you're having fun and are happy to see all these people. You have to like some of them, right?”
Gracie frowned abruptly as Trish's words sunk in. “Actually, now that you mention it, no.”
“No?”
“I'm not friends with any of these women. It's like someone took one of my high school yearbooks and invited everyone whose picture I drew horns and zits on.” She chewed on her lower lip. “This party is literally a who's who of everyone I never wanted to talk to again. Plus some of my relatives. I'm not really all that fond of them either.”
“Gee, thanks Gracie.” Holly let out a soft breath. “I think I'll go now.”
“I didn't mean you,” Gracie said. “Though, we kind of did have that big fight right before you moved.”
“We had a huge fight right before I moved,” Holly confirmed. “We never made up. I thought maybe you wanted to try to be friends again when I got the invite to your bachelorette party, but now I feel pretty dumb. For what it's worth, I'm sorry someone invited a bunch of people you didn't want to you party.”
“You don't have to go,” Gracie said to Holly. “Really. It's been a long time. Stay and hang out.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” Gracie said. “Maybe you can help me run off some of the rest of these losers.”
“God, you're still the same Gracie I remember.” Holly started laughing. “Time hasn't changed you at all, has it?”
“Gracie's never going to mature,” Katie said. “Nor is she very good at playing nice, which is what she's about to have to do. Y'all need to help me figure out games to have these girls play.”
Trish, Gracie and Katie all stared at one another for a long minute.
“I know a couple of easy ones,” Holly said finally. “My sister got married last year and she had like eight wedding showers. We played a lot of wedding games. Some of them need supplies but others can be done pretty easily.”
“I'll leave y'all to it,” Trish said. “I'm going to go get pizza, extra cake and prizes for our winners.”
“You're a saint,” Gracie told her.
“Not hardly,” Trish said. “I'm just damage control. Wish me luck.” She turned on one designer heel and headed for the door.
“Wish us luck,” Katie muttered as she watched Trish go. “It will be a miracle if we get through the night without Gracie shoving anyone off the back balcony.”
“There's a swimming pool under the back balcony, isn't there?” Holly asked. “It probably won't be fatal.”
“The pool was bricked over into a patio three years ago because of problems with the plumbing,” Katie explained. “Something about the septic system leaking. The new pool has its own clubhouse on the other side of the golf course. What we have below us is a bunch of very pointy patio umbrellas. We were actually supposed to be having this party at the pool. It got changed to the party room at the last minute because t
he pool is currently full of fish.”
“Fish in the country club pool? That could turn out all kinds of bad,” Holly mused. Her eyes were a little too wide as she cast a second glance towards the balcony in question. “Not that I think tonight is going to turn out much better, even without the fish.”
“I've got my fingers crossed and I'm hoping for the best,” Katie said. She hooked one of her arms through Gracie's and began towing her towards the bar. “Come on. You're normally a happy drunk. The sooner we get you blitzed, the better everyone's chances of survival are.”
“You better hope they have a hell of a lot of tequila,” Gracie said as Holly trailed after them.
Chapter 9
“Eww. Ick. Who barfed the tuna salad up on to my body parts?” The night shift coroner for the Silver City Morgue opened the trash bag that Sully had brought her. “I know you have a stronger stomach than this, Sully.”
“Wasn't me, Lora.” Sully held up his hands in mock surrender. “I swear on my grandmother's grave.”
“Your grandmother isn't dead.” Lora walked over to a large metal tray table in the center of the room and dumped the head out of the bag. She examined it curiously without touching it.“Nice. I like it when they're decomposed. It really helps with the smell.”
Sully laughed as Lora adjusted the hairnet that was covering her light brown pixie cut and put on a fresh pair of surgical gloves. “Don't say I've never given you anything nice.”
She rolled her pretty green eyes at him. “You're such a charmer. You brought me a head covered in vomit from three counties away right at the start of my shift. Want to explain to me how this falls under my jurisdiction?”
“The Callahan County coroner is an out of work former funeral director. He's out of work because his funeral home got shut down by the state for improperly cremating remains. Apparently, the crematorium itself broke and so they redneck engineered in using the same technology we normally see on barbecue grills.”