“Of course.” Why did she sound so nervous? “Just trying to memorize everything so I don’t make a fool of myself at the wedding.”
“You could never look like a fool.” He had begun to turn her slowly as the musicians started to play. It was a slow song, and with Nicholas’s help, Elaina began to find that the little bounces and sways were quite relaxing in a way. There was something freeing in being twirled to a rhythm.
“You’re a quick learner,” he said after they had been dancing for a little while.
Elaina laughed. “When you grow up on a ship, you learn to keep your steps light and your knees bent, or you fall in the water. What is this one called, anyway?”
“The Montelaid. It’s one of the slower dances we’ll learn. Tomorrow I’ll teach you a quicker one called the Quintup. It has only five steps, but the music grows faster and faster until you’re forced to make a mistake.”
Elaina turned again, enjoying the brief feeling of weightlessness that came whenever she spun. “I like the sound of that one.” She almost added that she was looking forward to it already, but stopped, surprised at herself, dually ashamed and awestruck.
She knew better than to encourage him, knew better than to allow him to draw her in. But every part of her heart yearned for . . . well, this. The contentment of laughing at his jokes. The ease with which she could tease him. The freedom of talking about her old life at sea without feeling ashamed.
The feeling of complete security that came in those brief moments of the dance where he pulled her into his chest.
With thoughts of safety, however, came the recollection of the danger she’d tasted while he was gone, and her peace melted away.
“What is it?” He stopped dancing and raised his hand for the musicians to pause.
She took a deep breath and glanced around. “I don’t know if it’s a good thing to discuss here . . .” She looked pointedly at the servants walking in and out and the musicians behind him.
Understanding lit his blue eyes. He released her, much to Elaina’s regret, and walked over to the maestro. After a few words that she couldn’t hear, he returned and took her hands again. They began to dance once more, but this time the music was noticeably louder.
“As long as it’s not too revealing,” he said in a low voice, “we should be able to keep our conversation decently private.”
She nodded, but still hesitated, not quite sure where to begin. Admitting weakness was difficult. It was like admitting her father had been right. But what other choice did she have? Her guards had been upset with her the night before when she’d admitted to them that she hadn’t told Nicholas about Conrad’s intrusion immediately upon his return.
“When you were gone,” she began slowly, “something strange happened at my home.”
His brows knitted together. “You weren’t harmed, were you?” His voice had an edge to it that sent a shiver up Elaina’s spine. And not in a romantic way.
“No.” She shook her head and looked at the ground.
The floor here was flecked with red and blue. She hadn’t seen that anywhere else in the palace.
“Elaina?”
She sighed and continued, though she couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye. “Alastair came to visit Lydia and bring me a note from Dustin about when you would return. I remembered what you’d said about Conrad, so I asked Alastair where he was. Alastair said he was in the coach feeling ill and had wanted to stay there to lie down, so I said nothing more about it.” Her words were coming too fast now, all rushing out of her like a flood. “But when I went up to my chambers later on, I looked out the window to find Conrad just below it.”
Nicholas’s grip tightened around her hand and waist. When she dared to glance up at his eyes, they were dark, burning with a wrath she’d never seen there before. For the first time since she’d known him, he looked . . . dangerous. “Where were your guards?” His voice was flat.
“We think he threw a stone through the kitchen window in order to distract them. They said they would have requested more guards immediately, but it seems Conrad has been up to other mischief in the palace. Whenever the guards try to take action, he threatens them with his relation to the king through Alastair.”
“My father needs to hear about this,” Nicholas growled, but Elaina shook her head.
“He has, according to Gerard. But since Conrad leaves no proof of his snooping, your father refuses to charge him with anything.”
Nicholas’s face was hard, jaw flexing and eyes like icicles as they stared down at her. When she involuntarily shivered, however, he seemed to remember himself.
“I’m so sorry, Elaina. This is all my fault,” he said, bowing his head. “I never meant to put you in danger.”
“What do you mean? You’re the one who insisted I keep guards nearby. I wanted nothing to do with them.” Elaina shuddered again as she imagined what might have happened if there had been no guards.
“I mean I didn’t stop to think about what was at stake for you when I asked you to get involved in this mess.” He shook his head, somehow still leading them through the dance.
“But I wanted to be involved!” She laughed humorlessly. “Do you know what torture it is to sit at home and sip tea and sew after living the life I left behind?”
“The Shadow is looking for you.”
Elaina’s feet stopped working and became rooted to the floor, but Nicholas forced her to keep turning.
“Try not to look so alarmed,” he whispered. “They can’t hear us over the music, but we don’t know who’s watching us now.”
It took her a moment to collect herself, but somehow, Elaina made her feet move again. As she did, shame warred with fear. She had lived through battles and sea beasts. This one man, whoever he was, shouldn’t frighten her. And yet, he did.
“How do you know?” she squeaked.
“Apparently, the Shadow is also connected to the attacks on the gifted.”
Something in Elaina’s dull brain lit like a match. “Alastair told me he believed the same thing!”
Nicholas nodded grimly. “While I was in Solwhind, I was attacked by a man who had recently purchased the gift of a dead individual. Then, when we were interrogating him on the way back here, he said the Shadow is offering one hundred thousand pounds of solid gold in exchange for the girl who talks to the stars.”
Elaina took deep breaths to steady herself under the watchful eyes of her dance partner. She wanted to deny it, or at least to shout that she wasn’t afraid, that she was unaffected by such a threat. But the trembling in her stomach and the sudden desire to draw closer to Nicholas kept her mouth shut. As they slowly turned in circles, Elaina warred with herself. She would be stronger than this. She had to be.
“I don’t understand it,” he said.
Elaina looked up, hoping her fear wouldn’t be visible in her eyes. “What’s that?” Ugh. Her voice was warbling.
He was watching her carefully. “You’re so determined to do it on your own, to be strong. You push yourself to the limit, and you run headfirst into danger.” This time, it was he who stopped dancing and stood still. But he didn’t let go of her. “What is it that you so desperately want,” he whispered, “that you’re willing to give up everything for it?”
If he’d asked her that question when she’d arrived that morning, or even yesterday, Elaina would have been able to tell him. She would have told him how she wanted to prove her father wrong. She wanted to return to her life at sea. She wanted to live for the mission and her father’s beloved navy.
But now, as she stared into his blazing blue eyes . . .
“I’m not sure anymore.”
He swallowed hard and bent until their faces were nearly touching. “While I was in Solwhind, I saw things.” He cupped her jaw in his hand, and for the first time, Elaina didn’t pull away. “And I kept seeing your face. When I found out that the warlord himself is looking for you, it nearly killed me to realize I was the one who had put you at risk
. But,” he paused, his face becoming resolute once more. “I learned something about myself in the process.”
“You did?”
He leaned forward until his forehead was resting against hers. “I can’t lose you.”
“Why?” she breathed.
He took both of her hands in his and cradled them to his chest, tracing her knuckles with his fingertips. “I have been blessed with everything I’ve ever had. All I ever had to do was utter the word and it was mine. As such, I’ve spent my entire life floating from one desire to the next, and until I met you, I never knew what I needed the most.”
“What is that?” she whispered, not trusting herself to speak aloud.
“Every ship needs an anchor, my lady.” He tightened his grip on her hands. “I’ve been drifting for a long time now. And I wish to never drift again.”
Elaina had to remind herself to breathe.
The prince might have just declared his love.
And possibly just asked her to marry him.
And to her shock and horror and joy and relief, she found herself wanting nothing more than to stretch up on her toes and kiss him.
Instead, however, she cleared her throat several times, willing her heart to beat steadily again. When she finally did glance up at his face, she nearly laughed and cried at the same time. He looked more anxious than she had ever seen him.
“I think,” she finally said slowly, “that you’ve given me much to think about.”
He didn’t say anything, just stared at her with hopeless eyes.
“I also think,” she said, pulling her hands free and dropping into a curtsy, “that my family will be wondering where I am soon.” The hopelessness lingered on his face until she added with a hesitant smile, “I am, however, quite looking forward to tomorrow’s lesson.”
Nicholas blinked, then broke into the biggest grin she’d ever seen.
27
Playthings
Nicholas tugged at the sleeves of his coat. His mother had ordered it made specifically for the wedding just two months before, but in those two short months, he’d needed the blasted thing altered twice. And now the sleeves were too short. Again.
“My prince.”
Nicholas turned to find Alastair bowing low.
“You’re back already.” Nicholas was glad to have a reason to ignore his coat.
“Aye.” Alastair came to stand beside Nicholas and looked over the railing at the royal chapel below. Though the wedding was in an hour, servants beneath them were still scurrying around to finish last minute details. “So everything is going as planned, I gather?” he asked.
Nicholas snorted. “The rebellion takes over Solwhind and declares war, and my father refuses to change a single detail of my sister’s wedding.”
“Do you think he should have canceled it?” Alastair looked at him with wide eyes.
“No.” Nicholas scratched his freshly shaven chin. “Not canceled. I just think a thousand pounds of flowers, two dozen baskets of turtledoves, and a three-day feast seems a bit excessive right now. It’s not as though her vows would be any less finished in the eyes of the Maker if the festivities were a bit . . . scaled back. It just sends the wrong message.” Not to mention the number of people from Solwhind who had been invited and were still confirmed guests.
And as Elaina was to be partner to the brother of the bride, at one point or another, they would all be looking at her. It was too many people too close. Of course, he didn’t speak this worry out loud.
“But I’m sure you didn’t seek me out to discuss my sister’s purple rose garlands.”
“Ah, yes.” Alastair’s eyes lost their gleam. “I wanted to let you know that I have sent Conrad to look into a possible traitor as we speak.”
“Someone here in the capital?”
Alastair nodded, his wary eyes never leaving Nicholas’s face.
“Splendid!” Nicholas’s heart suddenly felt as though it could fly. Wedding or not, Conrad would be out of the way for the day. Maybe even two. When Nicholas had spoken earlier to Alastair about the young man, Alastair had promised to put an end to his snooping, but any time Conrad was out of the way completely, Nicholas was happy.
“Let me know the moment you learn anything.” He glanced down. A familiar figure lingered in the doorway. “I’m afraid I am needed below now, but you know where to find me.”
Nicholas nearly tripped down the chapel steps as he ran to the first level, his heart thumping out of rhythm. As soon as he saw her, though, his trepidation melted away. She was a vision.
Her sky-blue gown was light and airy. Gossamer sleeves revealed her lean, sun-kissed arms. Dozens of layers of similarly thin material made her skirt look like a snowdrop flower. She might as well have been a flower fairy herself. And like the beautiful green dress she had worn to his mother’s garden tea, this dress was completely unsuitable for the season. Of course, knowing with whom she lived, Elaina’s wide array of lovely but impractical dresses was probably the fault of her fashion-obsessed cousin. Nicholas wanted to both thank and rebuke Lydia at the same time.
As Elaina handed her outer wrap to a servant, keeping only her white shawl, she looked around the chapel. Her eyes grew large as she wrung the shawl in her hands. Thin, honey-colored curls were piled on top of her head, and her blue-green eyes were luminous as she took in the scene around her, slowly turning like a wind-up doll. Her pink pearl lips parted slightly, and Nicholas had to work hard to pull his eyes away from them.
No need to stand there and gawk, though. She would be on his arm all day long, where he could keep her safe and bask in her beauty from up close.
Of course, if everything went as planned, he intended to do more than that before the third feast was concluded.
“The servants just lit the fire, so this room won’t be warm for another half hour.” Nicholas removed his coat and laid it over her shoulders. He half expected her to object, but she didn’t. Instead, she pulled it more snugly around her and gave him a regretful smile.
“Thank you. My cousin assured me it would be warm enough for a dress such as this, but really, it looks as though it might snow outside.” She glanced back at the door, where her cousin and aunt were talking with a few of the other early guests.
“I’m sorry for the chill, but I can’t say I’m disappointed in her choice of dress.” Nicholas cast an eye at the way the gauzy layers of blue cascaded off her slight hips and down to the ground.
Elaina gave him a warning look, but he just grinned back. Reading her was becoming a little easier by the day, and behind her scowl he thought she might just be slightly blushing. He knew better to tell her that, though.
“But truly, you look lovely.”
She turned away, but he didn’t miss her cool little smile. “You clean up nicely yourself. If I didn’t know better, I would be fooled into thinking you a respectable gentleman.”
“Now where would the fun be in that? Then you would have no one to order about all evening. You’d be like a captain without a ship.” He held out his arm, and she took it, shaking her head and laughing. Her laughter was like the sound of the chimes the servants hung in the garden at spring. “Come,” he said. “Let me show you where we’ll be standing and walking for the procession.”
An hour later, Nicholas stood in the back of the chapel with Elaina beside him, surrounded by his family and all the other individuals who were participating in his sister’s ceremony. They were supposed to be lined up in an orderly fashion, but his mother was crying, his eldest sister was crying, and all of the bride’s maidens were trying to comfort them, though half of them were crying as well. He couldn’t even see the bride to know whether or not she was in tears.
The men huddled in their own group, a few safe feet away from the gaggle of women where they wouldn’t be called upon to stop any of the weeping.
Nicholas, of course, did his best to hug his mother and remind her that Sophia and her husband were staying in Ashland, unlike Daphne, but even his words
did little good. He soon gave up in frustration and shoved his hands in his coat to make his retreat.
Elaina, however, was as calm and collected as ever and somehow managed to wander from the men’s group to the women’s and back again, sharing kind words wherever she went. Soon even his mother was laughing, despite the tears still running down her face. Everyone Elaina spoke to ended their conversation with a smile, even some of the bride’s maidens that he had once entertained as partners at other parties. At one time, they’d been considered conquests of his own.
But not anymore. Now there was only one beauty outshining all the other women in the room. And as much as he loved his sister, the true beauty wasn’t the one in white.
Nicholas felt something change inside him as he and Elaina began their slow walk down the aisle preceding the bride. He had been drawn to her more and more in the months since she’d arrived, but he’d never felt anything as strong as this, and it was all he could do to focus on the red carpet down which they walked. Longing like starvation filled him, making him wish more than anything for this day to be their own.
For all his life, Nicholas had worried he wouldn’t find the right one. Hopping from pretty face to pretty face, he’d continued to move on, hoping not to make the same mistake his father had, marrying one when his heart belonged to another.
But in these small moments, as they turned and walked to their respective seats, Nicholas felt in his bones that if he could keep Elaina, he would be perfectly satisfied for the rest of his days.
As his sister and her groom, a higher lord from one of their southern territories, said their vows, Nicholas watched Elaina. She wore a small, contented smile. The freckles scattered along her nose and cheeks made her eyes look playful and bright, and the way she leaned forward slightly in her seat made her look . . . hopeful?
The power of his stare drew those eyes, however, and she turned and met them steadily. And for once, she didn’t look away.
His heart caught in his throat. Did he dare hope that she was feeling the same things?
I’m sorry.
Cinders, Stars, and Glass Slippers: A Retelling of Cinderella Page 20